Ask a Guy: When a Guy Doesn't Text Back... - a new mode (2023)

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Cheryl Hartely

Hi, so after 24 years we finally got together we went to high school. We liked each other etc but never got together, then i messaged 4 weeks ago we had a drink and told each other everything, we decided to get together. It was going well till I started overthinking and i think I hurt his feelings. But this has been blown up when it could be fixed, ive messaged and he said if im having doubts best we put a lid on it and he’s been thinking maybe it’s not meant to be, I replied and he’s not answering me now. Any help would be appreciated thanks

ReplyMarch 3, 2022, 3:08 pm

anonymous .44

So there’s a guy that I met through a mutual friend. I really don’t know how he feels about me and I also don’t feel like I am in the position to ask him how he feels about me. Sometimes he would ask to hang out but when we are out together it feels like I’m the only one trying to make conversations. I would ask him a lot of questions but he would only vaguely answer , and rarely asks the questions back. I’m not sure if he is interested or just being friendly. It would have been easier to conclude that he was just being friendly to avoid confusions , but he randomly gave me flowers and chocolates and asked me to be his valentine , this confused me even more – I am very unsure of what his intentions are. He also doesn’t initiate conversations on social media , he never really texts or his text replies are really dry and minimal. When we talk online , he doesn’t seem interested , it feels like he is not interested in our conversation. But then again , maybe its something I did or do that makes him act like that.

ReplyFebruary 20, 2022, 4:03 pm


We started dating 1.5 months ago, after about 2 weeks he said that he doesn’t want a relationship, though everything felt like a proper relationship. Seeing each other everyday, making plans what we want to do together. I was really sad about it, but then I though I will just go with a flow and see what happens. Everything felt since then even nicer, but as couple weeks later he had to leave the country for work for couple months, I asked him again where does he see us. The answer was the same, I don’t want a relationship, please just give me time. I was left confused, but again started making plans, promised to come in a month, because he misses our time together already. So I was left with a hope. After he left we were in contact every day, he would call almost every day and text. But after one week, my message has been left unanswered and it is now two days without any sign from him. Does that mean that he finally made a decision that there is no future for us? How do I behave? I don’t want to wait for someone if he is not ever going to commit but on the other side, I don’t want to loose a person which became so important to me…

ReplyMay 21, 2020, 4:00 am


I started seeing this guy for six months now,we were good friends.a day never skips without him calling about seven times and several chats on both Facebook and WhatsApp.
Three months later after we met,he started developing feeling and interest in me. He confessed his feelings for me several times and told me he loves me genuinely which I know.
But I asked him if he is in any relationship,he said yes but not stable and he is trying to discharge d girl this month been july.i told him that I can’t be in this type of relationship but after so many things I fall for him.
To my greatest surprise,he celebrated d same girl birthday last month been June and when I asked him he said he just wanted to show off.
Now d girl broke up her and before that he was showing me some funny acts,he don’t call,rarely chat me or reply my text.
After making me to fall deeply in love with him he said that he can’t continue and that he wants us to be best friends.
Pls how do I handle it.
Because my calls and series of text to him seems that am been needy which am not

ReplyJuly 10, 2020, 4:29 pm


Anybody that receives a call/text from you be it a significant other, friend and or family member don’t hold you as high on the priority list. Wanting an answer isn’t wrong! It’s disrespectful to ask someone anything and you have to wait an hour, a day sometimes a whole week for a reply. That just shows how important you are or aren’t to them. When this happens sit that person down in a non accusatory way and say “hey, it really bothers me when you do or say this…can you try to be more mindful of it” Because no one can read your mind and the person might not even be aware that this is causing you hurt or pain. If it ceases that means they have taken your feelings into consideration and really don’t wanna do anything to hurt you! If it persists they just don’t give a s* and you need to return the energy and move on!

ReplyApril 20, 2020, 11:29 am


what does it mean when a guy does want to meet up for drinks and other really fun dates but he barely texts, we text sometime, but only to discuss about meeting up, and after he texts me it takes hours for him to reply, or he replies really quick but hone I dont hear from him again for days, we do meet up, have fun, (we havent dont anything serious yet)
so in short what does it mean when a guy does want to meet but rarely texts

ReplyFebruary 26, 2020, 10:07 am


He might just be in a relationship or isn’t just going out with solely you! And just because you really like him doesn’t mean he likes you in that same way, Sure he’s down for drinks and a party but if he can go hours or days without some form of communication with you make him go forever! He more so wants to hook up not a relationship especially if he’s already in one or fresh out of an on/off relationship. So in closing stop waiting by the phone and busy yourself because what’s meant for you will appear when you stop waiting on someone who does the bare minimum to squeeze you into there day.

ReplyApril 20, 2020, 11:43 am


Hello, I really need some help. I’ve been with a man for a year, serious relationship. We see each other twice a week for a few hours. I’m not a needy person, I have lots of plans if I want to and I think my boyfriend loves me… In his way. We both are 28-30 years old.
The things that has been bugging me from day 1 is that he just textes me after dinner, at first it was for 1 hour, like a date… Now 45 minutes.
If we see each other a Thursday (this has happened 3 times maybe) “it’s ok” if we don’t see each other twice in the weekend.
He doesn’t text me good morning or “just if he feels like it”.
I’m not a needy person, he is not the center of muy world… He is like that. And I’ve trying not to make this behaviour bottering me because de have met pur mutual friends and family…. But he doesn’t communicate, I don’t need a man, I don’t want to change him, but I don’t like this situation, I hace tried, I have analyced myself… I have told him this ” distsnce except when scheduled” is bottering me and he doesn’t change.
He is like this and I should love him just like that, but it’s been a year and it’s not enough. I suppose that I expect more un a relationship. Just a good morning, maybe a little emoji… Maybe a pic in the middle of the day of sth funny that I know he sees in the media or a hi at lunch. Honestly, I’m not going to reply for hours and he knows it because I’m busier than him (I work and he studies)… I don’t know, I think it’s too easy for him to ignore me. In summer, after our “text-date” after dinner, he was In his village with his family, he spent 23h without texting me. Even tough I told him that a hello doesn’t kill anybody hehe. My problem is that if a man doesn’t try to see me or text me when we live 20 minutes apart by car (or a little more by public transport) and he loves me… Is this enough for me? And the scary part is that I’m starting to feel that not.
Sorry about my English, it’s not my mother tongue.

ReplyFebruary 16, 2020, 4:10 am


This guy and I started dating at the end of a seasonal gig. I was silly and excepted the terms of we end it at the end of the season, he didnt want to do distance. Which honestly was fine with me cause normally I end it when I start to feel anything towards a guy. The problem started when we said we will be friends afterwards and our definition of friendship is definitely different. He doesnt contact at all and I believe in texting everyonce in awhile to keep in touch, well of course he never got back. It took sometime and tears but I did just stop trying and started working on just moving forward. Well then just the other day he messaged me saying he sorry, trying to do better with staying in contact, and he misses me.. I was elated but wary so i told him “sure i would really be happy to talk again but i honestly dont fully trust you to not just ignore me again. But as long as you try, cool.”
Honestly i am not really sure if it is cool, yet the difficulty is that I cant just call him up at the moment to actually talk… I guess I just want to hear an outside person actual opinion. Though I do believe I know what it will be I just need to hear it.. .well read it… thanks

ReplyFebruary 12, 2020, 4:01 pm


He seems like a douche, Move on my love. He’s using you as a buffer and at the moment he doesn’t have anything going on so to keep you on his “roster” he hit you with the “Im sorry, was just trying to find myself” be that as it may be true he still seen your text and in that moment didn’t care to reach out! He wants access to you but you can’t have access to him, Not the way to keep any form of a relationship.

ReplyApril 20, 2020, 11:48 am


I have been talking to someone for about 5 months and he was so into me.
I’m not exactly sure if he is now.
He would come to see me at anytime. And call me or face time me whenever he had the chance it seemed. Like right after work or while he was closing.
One night while he was coming to see me he told me he had to tell me something because he felt our “relationship” was becoming more serious.
We both have children around the same age.
And he told me he had moved in with his daughters babysitter a much older women. And her daughter happened to be moving in also.
He was thinking of his daughter and where the location was. Being closer to his family and his new job. And the connection his daughter had with the babysitter. I guess this women was really into him…? And he felt like I needed to know the situation. That night he he called he and told her that he was talking to someone else (me). And this women is like obsessed with him. And also much older than he is. And not his type at all. Since he told her this a lot has gone on… and I guess I’ve been asking more questions.
He has told me that I was the one that he has been looking for. And he has been so tired of settling and he knows what he wants (ME!) he has even said he wants to marry me. Jokingly asking if we could go to Vegas. His daughter loves me and wants to see me all the time. he just has to figure everything out. We live an hour plus apart. He works a ton. But I started calling and texting more often… and I would become more upset and seem more angry than I really was. There was almost a week period when he didn’t really talk to me at all. And finally he communicated…. I have definitely been texting him way to much and have just probably been overwhelming him. When he’s either trying to work or who know what. He hasn’t been over to my house in about a month. And I have surprised him at work almost every Monday. (Because he said he liked it.) last Monday he didn’t seem super thrilled. But didn’t say he didn’t want me there. I’m staying home today.
I spoke to him yesterday. On the phone for maybe 5 minutes. He asked for my child and I to watch him play in his band at. Church online and we did. After I sent a message with a few hearts. And he read it. And said nothing.
I’ve heard nothing from him since. And I haven’t said anything to him either.
He posted something about his band last night at like midnight. And I liked his post and have left it at that.

This s**t has been driving me mad. And I’m normally not like this. But I don’t know if I shouldn’t just not text him and wait for him to finally message me. Or if I should say something and wait for a response and not blow his phone up?

(Sorry of this was a big jumbled mess. I can’t even get my thoughts in order! ‍♀️)

ReplyOctober 7, 2019, 2:24 pm


I’ve reached my limit with my male best friend who has been repeatedly sexting with me and telling me he loves me. For 12 years we have blurred the lines and snuck around because we have never been single at the same time. He is currently living 2 hours away with a Gf that he is not happy with. Because of some work issues and other issues he really needs to stay with her. I want what’s best for him but st the same time this guy and I have basically been in a mini relationship over the years with everything we have shared. He trusts me which is very tough for him. He and I used to talk on the phone but cannot now and he has a very hectic work schedule so time texting is limited as well because of eyes on him. As of a few days ago he told me he had a plan to see me. I agreed to it and the sexting continued as it always does. Well, last night I told him I have a week off and now is his chance to finally see me and I’m okay with the plan. He vanished. No response. I’m so hurt because it’s been over a year since I have seen him and he keeps saying he wants me bad. I know for a fact he has been back to this area in the past 6 months for a quick trip to drop something off to a friend . Didn’t he think she would tell me ? I never called him out on it . How do I deal with this … should I text him again calling him out or back off and wait . I feel so deflated since I have trusted his feelings for me. Why blow smoke ? This isn’t a new fling, as I said we know one another very well.

ReplyAugust 24, 2019, 9:41 am


Girl, same story except we’ve been talking/sexting for 4 years!! He’s in military and deploys 4-7 months of each year so seeing each other has been hard but soooo sick of yea I’m gonna see you or come visit when I move or even I’ll buy you a ticket to see me and then disappears?? WTF is wrong w people – I KNOW you felt something and you treat me like this?
Karma is a bitch better watch it

ReplySeptember 25, 2020, 10:40 pm


I hate when you get in the comfort of talking to someone everyday with them saying good morning to good night then suddenly it just stops, it feels weird.
Like last night I was talking to my guy then he just went MIA, makes me feel like he’s with someone else because he never messaged me anything last night and no good night or even a call to chat. And then nothing this morning and it’s already 1pm.

ReplyAugust 7, 2019, 1:08 pm


I’ve known this guy for well over a year, we met as coworkers at the time. A couple of weeks ago I asked him if he wanted to go to a movie just the two of us and he agreed and we made plans and went to said movie. I wouldn’t have called it a date but I did just want to get a feel for him outside of his work environment. That night after I got home I texted and asked him if he would like to go on a date sometime, and now silence. He wasn’t a frequent texter to begin with so I have it time but now it’s going on the 3rd day with no response. We seemed to get on just fine a the movie and honestly I don’t see why he’s agree to that but not an actual date. Am I right to assume his silence means disinterest? (He’s 24 by the way).

ReplyMarch 30, 2019, 7:13 pm


Maybe it’s because I am 47, but I hate smartphones. As a former US justice once said, we all have a right to be left alone. I have a right to work without my girlfriend disturbing me. I have a right to work out at the gym without my girlfriend disturbing me. I have a right to get gas for my truck and go to the grocery store without my girlfriend bothering me. And I also believe in the concept of spending 7 minutes to make a grocery list instead of spending 20 minutes in the vegetable aisle with your partner on the other end of the stupid phone arguing about where the canned corn is. These devices have made people lazy and have taken away the right of individuals to live independent lives which I feel is vital and important to a healthy, functioning relationship. Fortunately I made this very clear to my g/f Amanda at the beginning of our relationship, and she agreed. She was never one for texting all night. Beyond all that, I have a chronic pain condition that is aggravated by texting. I am already on the dang PC at work all day. By the time work ends, I am done with technology other than my TV, stereo system and guitar. Now if Amanda developed a serious illness (God I hope not), of course I would pay more attention to my smartphone. But really, I wish I just had a landline . The call quality is 100% better anyway. And it gets rid of all this dating guessing game nonsense.

ReplyMarch 19, 2019, 2:53 am


I am so with you on this one. I put my phone on silent most of the time and check texts the way people used to check voicemails on the answering machine at home — when it is convenient for them. I prefer to be fully present in whatever I am doing, whether at work, gardening, or at the meditation center — than deal with the phone. I also have chronic pain and texting hurts. It is nice to disconnect from electronics. I am not concerned nor offended if I don’t get a text back within a certain time frame unless it is a close friend and I become worried about their wellbeing due to not hearing from them — and in that case it took a few weeks for me to get concerned.

ReplySeptember 4, 2019, 12:16 am


I dont think the problem is cell phones. I’m older too and get your frustration. But the problem is that you think she’s bothering you and the only time you think she deserves your attention is if she would get seriously ill. If you believed she deserved better than that you would tell her you can’t answer phone at work, prefer a grocery list, but will make the effort to call and check in and see how SHE is in between work and other obligations. It’s called effort. Any less than that and she’s wasting her time with you as she’s just a convenience to you.

ReplyMay 6, 2020, 10:12 am


I’ve been texting with this guy for a couple of weeks. He always said ask anything I’ll answer. We have had really good communication. We finally met and it was good. He immediately set plans for a second date. Then after that he stopped responding as much. I didn’t go overboard at all. We’d normally go back and forth all day. But after we met I figured we didn’t need to text as much. I’d say good morning, I’d see he read it but he wouldn’t respond.m quickly like he had before. Thinking he was busy I wouldn’t send another text until he responded. His response was either always good morning, good afternoon or good night beautiful andthats it. Nothing else. He wouldn’t acknowledge my questions or show any interest at all. I sent a text this morning that said he is 8pm too late to meet on Friday and his response was good morning beautiful and that’s it. So he either starts a text and doesn’t finish or engage or he responds without acknowledging my previous text.

At this point I’m not needing or wanting to text all day but he’s intentionally ignoring my texts and just responding when he wants. I literally sent 1 text yesterday in response to his and 1 text today to confirm the time for our date. …. I was going to wait until Friday, If we meet. Should I ask him why he is choosing not to acknowledge my texts? Or disregard it?

ReplyFebruary 20, 2019, 10:42 am

Alexis Alexander

Also I wanted to know if they do take a long time to respond or txt back what do you do? Just respond back whenever they respond as if you don’t care? How do I handle that especially if I’m not busy or don’t have anything to do and they take a long to respond back?

ReplyOctober 17, 2018, 8:17 pm

Alexis Alexander

I actually wanted to know more about the part where you said don’t settle for behavior, it’s more attractive when you you don’t settle for what you don’t want, how exactly can you do this? How can you make the guy have more of an opportunity to put effort in? I also wanted to know how exactly do you not become so needy and have your own life so that it forces the guy to have to work harder to work for what you want or to reach you? How can you make a guy prioritize you?

ReplyOctober 17, 2018, 8:13 pm

Little Me

Ling story short… met a guy on tinder. We talked by text for about a month made plans to meet and a great first date. Before leaving, he asked me if we could have a second date, which I happily agreed to. He text me about 30min after leaving that he had a great time and enjoyed our first date. The next day we chatted just a bit. He didn’t respond to my last text message. Maybe I’m over thinking it, but should I text him again or wait for him to contact me? I’m worried I came across to clingy or something like that. I like this guy and don’t want to scare him off.

ReplyApril 20, 2018, 1:41 am


I am sincerely grateful for all the mail’s it has helped me in my present distance relationship though I still have some challenges facing me. My boyfriend doesn’t call me often,initially he would call me every 3days,all of a sudden he made it once in a week,and whenever I asked him,he will tell me he is broke or he was busy. I can’t really figure out what is wrong,though whenever we are together it’s always fun,he tells me how much he has missed me,but he has never taken me out on a public date.we only see in his house and he do hold my hands whenever he is accompanying me to the park.if I asked me when he will take me out on a date he will quietly say i should not worry. I am so confused he has the habit of not picking my calls on time and whenever I asked him why he didn’t pick the call on time he would say he wasn’t with his phone. He is always with his phone whenever I am with him,could it be that he is avoiding me or he is cheating on me.please I need a reply soon. Thanks

ReplyOctober 3, 2017, 2:12 pm


He’s probably ashamed because this society demands that men be perfect. especially when it comes to finances. I rarely take my current g/f out on pricey dates, but I cook a mean chicken fajitas. This is my way of showing love to her, and he knows its the only way I can right now.

ReplyMarch 19, 2019, 2:57 am


Hello, when someone wishes to not to talk, begging is the only way people follows Wish you to be a good beggar & don’t limit yourself for any shame. and there are much more things to describe that.

ReplySeptember 29, 2017, 4:17 am


Hello guys. Hope you get to read this and maybe light things up for me. On July 2 I started talking to this guy and we hitted off like we had already know each other from past lives. We “met” on Tinder and talked for about three days before he gave me his phone number so we could talk more on whatsapp. And we kept talking for like two weeks. On July 14 we first met, he invited me over to his sister’s home (who was traveling by the time), we talked a little, he said how hot I was and kissed me, tried something else, but I was not “on the moment” to allow him going on (women’s “problem”). Later, we started talking about stuff and he paid me a pizza. We kept talking. On July 29, I hung out with my family and by the end of the day sent him an emoji and he said “Muse (that’s how he calls me), why didn’t you call me? We could’ve spent the day together” and we set to meet on August 5. This time, we really made out. I got there, we talked a little but could no longer wait to kiss each other and make things “get hot”. After, he baked us a pizza, we ate it, talked a lot. He said how beautiful my curly hair is. I played with his hair and he said how great it was that. So lovely. And we kept talking, but never met since then. He once sent me a sonet he wrote with the title “When passion decided to become love” and asked me what was my opinion about it. My psychologist said there was something behind it, maybe him trying to show some feelings for me, but he rarely calls me over. He rarely does the first move. When I send him messages he tells me about his day, his life, asks me back, but never texts me first. Last Sunday was his bday and I sent him a message to which he answered “Thanks, muse. I am the one who feels thankful for knowing such an incredible person like you”, and I asked if we could still meet and he said “Of course we can”. Once, talking, I ended up saying that I already gave English classes and he said “Wouldn’t you have anything to lend me so I can learn? I have to!” and I offered myself to teach him. At first, I would go over his place (where he lives with his family), but never told me his address (I only know where his sisters lives), on the day I would go there, he didn’t call and only told me on Tuesday he had problems but I had to text him to find out. And he never mentioned it back. But we kept talking. This last week, I decided to ask him out, asking him if he had plans for Saturday. And he said “Depending on the time, I don’t.” And I told him some plans I had and he answered “Let’s check. Let’s check. Because I’m already hanging out on Friday night and don’t know what time I’ll be back, what time I’m gonna wake up. But we keep in touch, can it be?” and I said yes. This was this wednesday, September 6, and since then, I haven’t texted him and neither has he texted me to check things. Yesterday, I published somethint on Instagram Stories and he checked it, but didn’t say anything also. I published a snippet of “Miss You” official clip by Carla Bruni, the cover of Rolling Stones’ song, writing “Tu me manques (Miss You in French)”, on it. I do not know where to get this to or what to wait of it. Because sometimes he seems interested and sometimes he backs off. When I talk to him, he is available. But when I don’t talk, whatever. Honestly, he doesn’t seem to be the king who just likes to play, you know? For he is so sensitive, he likes to write, and I cannot see him as a dumbass.

ReplySeptember 11, 2017, 9:52 am


Unfortunately, I had the exact situation. When I think of it, it is 99.9% we showed our “love” and interest too early, too soon!
It’s a cliche, but yes, men pursue. They stop when we chase.. no matter how subtle we chase, they smell it and run. Sadly.

ReplyAugust 9, 2019, 10:24 am


I have a question for yall. So i met a guy while on vacation. We hit it off, had a great time. He texted saying have a good flight. I replied saying thank you, been thinking about you. He replied saying im glad you had a safe trip home. Then i said, it was great meeting you i hope we stay in touch. He said he agrees and we continued a convo. Well its the next day, no reply. I know he doesnt owe it to me, but its annoying. Mind you he moved from my city to another to study for school. He will come back to my hometown to visit. With that being said, what do i do? I was thinking brush it off, next time hes in town which wont be for a while we can get together? I mean we dont even know one another too well, so its a little weird

ReplySeptember 2, 2017, 11:29 pm


Hi! I’m in same boat whatever happened ?

ReplyApril 17, 2019, 8:53 am


Not a Wonderful practical experience. We were being harassed as a result of the basic safety shields who insisted upon looking us and our luggage once we sat down. Totally not the least difficult path toward commence off a stress-free evening seeing the recreation with your girlfriend.

ReplyAugust 30, 2017, 12:20 am


Hello . So I met this guy on dating site and so far we been very active in texting during The day , at night . Always good morning and good night messages . We called each other cute and sexy names and we are planning on meeting next week . But last night i texted and never heard back from him. I known am maybe overthinking and we both are busy with work and life but it’s unusual from him not to text back . Now I think he will Just disappear and leave like nothing happened …. please any advice would be great on This. Thanks

ReplyAugust 17, 2017, 11:42 am


This is probably too late, but I’d say if this is the first time, give him a break. Life is busy and demanding, and whether or not we are in intimate relationships with someone of the opposite sex, we both have other people and responsibilities in our lives. If it keeps happening, and there is no other way of contact, let him go gracefully. Answer texts politely, but don’t move the conversation forward. He’ll either try or move on.

ReplyAugust 25, 2017, 2:25 pm



My boyfriend completely stopped calling me cute names or even sending me cute messages. He is cold and formal whenever he talks to me and it is driving me crazy. I told him many times now how important this is to me and whenever I talk about it, he blames me for being too much of a drama queen. Please help

ReplyAugust 16, 2017, 1:13 am


Attention Maya… He sounds like a Narcissist. Those are to be avoided at all cost. There is no hope for those kind of people. They are so full of themselves they don’t want to change. They destroy anyone who crosses their path. Stay far far far away. They are broken people.

ReplyOctober 11, 2017, 4:18 pm


“If I left her hanging.” What a jerk. Say “hi” and then go about your days.

ReplyAugust 10, 2017, 9:08 am


So don’t call a guy out on his bad behavior because it makes him feel you’re needy? What a player attitude. If two people cannot discuss issues like this, they might as well not have anything to do with each other. An intimate relationship, friendships, and working relationships require honest communication. And not answering three texts in one week from someone YOU initiated contact with for months is childish. But I suppose telling you the truth is needy.

ReplyAugust 10, 2017, 9:05 am


Man, I feel like an alien , i’m a guy and i didn’t text a girl back simply because she didn’t make an effort to communicate with me, us guys get tired of being the one to try and maintain the convo as well, its not just a girl thing, and i told the girl straight up before so it was actually a second chance thing.

ReplyJuly 31, 2017, 11:13 pm


This is somewhat contradictory – don’t act needy, yet..don’t stand for what doesn’t feel right to you. ok, sooooo, is there any winning? A guy I have been dating for over 7 months has dropped is text communication significantly, there’s NO WAY I could not feel insecure when I all of a sudden don’t hear from him for hours or overnight when it wasn’t that way for most of the time we have been seeing each other. I finally ended it with : I am aware of the fade out on your side. If you’re done, be done. I mean, it isn’t respectful to me to string me along, text me at his convenience, etc. Would it be ok if I did that? I don’t think so. He texted back that he wasn’t fading, he was stressed, and that he had phone calls all morning. Ok, what about those nights where our conversation was just dropped for hours or overnight? I’m kind of sick of women having to “understand” why men do the things they do and that we’re supposed to be understanding. I am a patient and flexible person, but I also value myself and I DO deserve to be treated the way I treat you.

ReplyJuly 26, 2017, 8:47 pm


Me and this guy have been dating for a few months. Everything was going great and we have such a great connection. The past few weeks we have bickered here and there but it never last more than a few hours and we are back to our playful relationship. I saw that he liked a girl and her bathing suit picture on Instagram on Thursday and I texted him when I saw that morning and I asked him if he was interested and other women and I just meant as a question but he took it personal and he immediately deflected everything back on me and the fact that he caught me masterbating and watching porn 2 weeks prior. He never tried to apologize and he kept making excuses and turning it all around on me. I was highly upset so I needed some time. I told him to leave me alone on Thursday and he didn’t come to my apartment that night (where He usually stays) Then at night he randomly texted me and started another fight about someone who followed me and I followed back that day. The fighting continued into Friday and he told me he was going to come get his stuff so I could be alone. I still didn’t want to see him so I left my apartment and he never would answer my text when he was coming over. When I came back to my apartment he was there and I parked down the street until he would leave but he saw me and he all of a sudden was being nice and wanting me to come in so we could talk. And I wasn’t ready to talk just yet since we were still heavily fighting through texts so I refused. This went into Saturday and he had texted me he forgot his medicine so I had things to do that morning and told him he could come get it while I left. He of course questioned where I was going and what I was doing. By the time I was done he still hadnt come so I was going to go swimming at my friends that lived close by and I told him that I could stop by and give it to him after and he agreed that would be fine. wheb I got there I gave him the stuff he had left there (one being his firestick) and he told me to keep the firestick because I was acting like he wasn’t going to be back. So I did and we brought up the argument again and bickered for a second but the he was like text me what you want to do and went into his house. I went down the road 2 minutes and I texted him that I was going to take a shower and maybe he could come over so we could talk. Then it was like a flip, he said there was no point because I wasn’t going to forgive him and I’m too insecure and he’s done with the fighting. I begged and pleaded and he wouldn’t budged. I spent Saturday night with my friends and I texted him yesterday. Then he tell anyone me that he needs to work on things for hisself right now. We went back and forth for a little but the last text message I sent he didn’t respond but he called me an hour later and I didn’t answer nor have I texted him sense then. He also hasn’t talked to me sense he called. I’m just confused and idk what to do. I feel like he is trying to hurt me since I needed some time to cool off and now he is going making excuses for us to breakup. I’m just devastated and in need of advise

ReplyJuly 17, 2017, 10:00 am

C. Aspen

If anyone doesn’t text me back within 24-48 hours or drags his feet, cancels plans, shows up late, etc. or who was nice but stopped being nice, I block his or her number and email and basically erase them from my life. If they find a way to contact me and their contact doesn’t include the words “i’m sorry” along with an explanation and promises to act right, I IGNORE THEM. And let me tell you, it’s one of THE MOST EMPOWERING things I’ve ever experienced. The only problem is that I didn’t start doing this when I was 13. I’ve never been happier after deleting EVERYONE who didn’t act right (respect/share my boundaries, values, etc) and replacing them with people who did. At one point, I literally had no one in my life I could call a true friend and it was my own fault for accepting assholes into my life…so after a minute of self-pity, I focused on other things rather than my poor taste in friends and got my life back on track.

ReplyJune 29, 2017, 10:36 pm


100% Truth!

ReplyJuly 4, 2020, 2:04 am


I know a guy through a mutual friend. After we met, I fell in love with his persoailty and wanted to be his friend. Only to find out that he wanted to date me. Now we discussed what the future held for us. He’s opptomistc and I’m realistic. There are just a lot of things that would need to happen for us to be together. I’m in my mid 20s and he’s in his late 30s. I love him as my friend and wouldn’t want to lose him. We talked about things and he wants to do “stuff” all knowing from the getgo I can’t due to religious reasons, which he’s respected but I think he’s frustrated because I’m denying him affection. I just don’t want him to fall deeper in love which he’s mentioned that he’s falling in love. So I’ve done my best to draw a line. He hasn’t responded to my message after a day of not speaking to one another and that was simply me just asking how he was doing. I don’t chase men but for some reason, I can’t let him go. On top of that he’s a close friend of my friend so we will still run into one another but I don’t want to be cut off just cause there’s no future for us and that nothing intimate can happen. How do I handle this sitatution?

ReplyJune 28, 2017, 6:44 pm


If you tell a friend you adored him. (We not dating or anything but just friend) is that’s weird for him?

ReplyMay 3, 2017, 9:45 am


Met a man on dating website, we both are in early 50s, he states on dating profile that he’s not looking for serious relationship at the moment, we immediately hit it off, we both have same sense of humor….we texted several times a day, we live a couple of hours away from each other, but he comes to my city for work & we’ve been out a couple of times & had great time together. I always remembered that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, so I never said anything too serious. I noticed within last week, he’s taking longer to respond to my text & would notice he was online, so I didn’t text him for several days & then he texted me wanting to know if I was still alive, I just responded with something funny, but never said anything about him not texting me, so several hours later, I sent him short funny text, he didn’t respond & I noticed he was online, so I know he got my text. I suspect he likes me, doesn’t want to cut me out of his life & wants me there when he’s ready to talk, which as we know is not a good position for me to be in. Two questions, what do you think of hm asking me if I was still alive & should I have said something about him not texting me? I didn’t know if I should have said something like “are you still alive” or just play it off like I did?

ReplyApril 21, 2017, 4:38 am


I’ve been in the most lovely, open and caring relationship with a younger guy for 7 months now. He is 24 years old and I am 34 years old and he has a 4 year old son, is in the miltary and is only has completely platonic communications with his son’s mother who also has a partner and seems happy enough. She is also older -15 years older than him actually, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. He has always made me feel completely loved and appreciated and our relationship is open and honest. Even though we live 3,000 miles apart, I am a domestic based flight attendant and at his request, bid for flights to his city, where I get to see him for weekends and nights about 5 times a month at the moment. Things were going well until a week ago when he seemed a bit tired, said he was flat, fwlt like a zombie and became a bit neglectful and slack on the texting back and calling front. I feltin the dark a bit and was a bit off about it, kind of mentioning it but then retirning to normal conversation. He then said he was tired and needed to go to sleep but stayed on chat. He has completely ignored me since. He is also on Champix and is in about week 5, I am worried about him but he simply will not answer anything of mine. I have tried to be suppirtive and understanding and also tried not to overload him with messages, but this is so out of the ordinary for him and I feel so confused and hurt now. Is thismuch ‘space’ needing normal? Because its really hard not to take this personally or be effected by it, when he has spoken to me pretty much every single day that Im not there for the past seven months, for at leastt an hour…which in the beginning i thought was alot but i guess that’s his standard. He usually makes so much effort nd this is so not like him, I’ve tried calling over the weekend and nothing. It’s like I dont exist. Do you have any suggestions as to what could ve going on? Im trying to maintain my cool but it’s hard. I feel like its over. TIA .

ReplyApril 3, 2017, 3:07 am


Hi –

I have a 1year relationship with my boyfriend and i’ve noticed that i have a problem in controlling my emotions when i am moody, particularly when it’s my PMS days. I would usually feel bad and irritated during these days and would ignore my boyfriend. He does make an effort to turn around my being moody which he is able to do most of the time. However last night, it was the worst. I was with him and his parents and was feeling irritated and upset for reasons i dont even know. Things didn’t happen as i expected it to be thus i got do mad that I left with a bad feeling. I then realized i was wrong and apologized to him. He told me he understands but do adjust my emotion if there are other people with us. He even texted me he loves me and updated his whereabouts. When i texted back i just said im home and didnt get a reply from him which is a bit unusual. I also messaged him in facebook and got seenzoned. I reallt feel so bad right now. I feel like he is so hard to reach whenever he experiences bad things from me. I dont know what to do. I dont want to look needy but im so worried he might start being cold to me. :(

ReplyMarch 23, 2017, 5:00 am


I met a guy while i was out drinking with my friends. His texts were very warm and eager to meet so we went for a first date. I think it went well then he wants to travel together but i said let’s get to know each other better first.

We did try to schedule another meet up but he cancelled on me and asked if he could move to the next day because he needed to watch a sporting even and it has been his ritual that he cannot miss as he has been alone for a long time.

We met again for a second date, we kissed but I did not go back to his place. After that i notice that his texts are getting lesser and colder and he would annoy me by sending just picture of him doing his work but wihout saying anything. We were suppose to go for a 3rd date but he had to cancel because apparently he received more job on his plate. The next day he did text and said pity we didnt meet and he got caught up at work till late and if we could meet today.

I’m not a fan of notice and i already had something planned so i said can’t have plans already, give me some notice next time and we will see if we can make it work.
So i offered to go for afternoon tea the coming weekend, he said dinner instead because he is doing something. we were discussing about dinner and then suddenly he said he is still caught up at his friends house and don’t want to be pressured to come back or make me wait, so lets meet next week.

I didn’t text him after that, which he send me a picture of him giving a presentation but without saying anything, i replied giving a presentation? but have not receive any reply at all. It’s annoying how can he seem so eager at one point and it just died off suddenly. My friends seem to think that because i’ve shown my eagerness and that gave him less of a hunt.

Im not sure what i can do to get back his interest because i do want to have another try as I like this guy. And i don’t understand why he even bothered to send me a picture but not bothered to meet up or say anything. Is this a form of man teasing and in actual fact he has no interest in me or have lost interest and just being polite by still keeping minimal in touch. Pls help enlighten me.

ReplyMarch 17, 2017, 1:22 am


Hi Guys, I’m wondering if you can help me, so I met this guy a couple weeks ago and we chatted just fine on whatsapp a couple days and then his friend passed away so I didn’t really hear from him for a while but I did send my sympathies ,then I saw him at our mutual hot spot where we met and he jumped up in excitement to see me and he got me a shooter and even stopped this other guy from harassing me and I caught him looking at me a few times and he made an effort and came to me, then we left and I let him know I was home safe and he said he was bummed that I left and it was great to see me and then I replied and now its been two days and he hasn’t replied to any of my messages but he has been online… what is the deal??

ReplyMarch 13, 2017, 6:30 am


He’s just not that into you. probably only said what he said to nor hurt your feelings. trust your woman’s instinct.

ReplyMarch 24, 2017, 6:20 pm

Starved For Love

Not that i don’t think you know what you want but I have a question as to why you want someone who may or may not be the one for you? You see, if you know what he is (unthoughtful, wishy-washy, do you want that? because that won’t change. maybe in time he’ll change but do you want that now?

ReplyMarch 9, 2017, 8:10 pm


I’ve known this guy just to say hi to for about a year, he would flirt with me when I saw him and always make a fuss of my daughter, so I was aware there was some attraction .
Around June last year, he contacted me on Facebook and we started texting, he said he had gone through the bereavement of a stepchild and so was struggling at the moment but would like to take me out when he was feeling better.
It never happened, I waited for months, his texts dropped off and eventually I gave up !
Anyway around November time he got in touch with me again and asked if I’d like to meet up, we went on a date and I asked him if he was ready for dating because of what he’d been through….
I found out that he had still been with his ex while he had initially started text me last year, and because of what had happened the relationship had failed.
He told me his head still felt messed up and that he was dreading Christmas and that he needed a distraction!
I said I understood but I had to think about myself too
Anyway we had a few dates, usually about 1 per week, he stayed over st my house and normally I wouldn’t do that so soon with having a child, but because we both knew him already it just felt natural .
Anyway he spent Christmas Eve with us, I dropped him home Christmas Day and he asked if I was busy New Year ( I was thrilled as it’s been years since I’ve had anyone to spend those times with)
So we spent New Year together , New Year’s Day it was nice.
Now I was never pushy, I didn’t always let him initiate the contact because I knew he had a lot going on, it was going to be the anniversary of the bereavement in January , plus he was starting a new job in another town and he’d decided to move from where he was living because he said it was supposed to be a family home and he hated being there on his own.
Basically I never knew when I would see him next and even tho I hated it I would never ask.
Just before he started his new job he took a week off work and asked if he could stay with me, I was really pleased, we had what I thought was a nice week, we spent time together and all was great until the last night when we were supposed to be going out, he seemed to pick an argument with me, saying I needed to be more decisive !
He said he was used to strong women and that if I didn’t start being a bit more decisive I’d be wondering why I never heard from him in a few weeks!!
I was shocked and upset and I explained that I wasn’t pushy because I knew he had a lot on!
Anyway, I decided to take his advice and I asked him a couple of times if he was free, but as I thought he told me he was busy!!
I was getting the feeling he hadn’t got the time for the relationship and he asked me not to give up on him and to just let him get January out of the way ….. but there were a couple of occasions when he’d make plans then cancel so I was feeling a bit rejected, I text to confront him about it and said there was no point if he didn’t have the time for me , but that night he turned up at my house ( first time ever)
He said he wanted it to work, that I needed to be patient and that we would start to see each other regularly on Thursdays and some Sundays , he said he thought the world of me and my daughter, so I was happy!!
On the Thursday morning he text to see if we’re still meeting up that night, I replied yes
He said that he was looking forward to it but couldn’t stay over :( I was disappointed but said ok ….. anyway later that night I was getting ready to meet him and text to ask what time, he replied saying really sorry but he couldn’t make it ….
I was so angry but just text back ok
I wondered if he would have bothered to let me know if I hadn’t text .
He txt later that night saying sorry he hadn’t made it, I just txt ok
The next morning he text saying he got the feeling I was upset with him,
I replied saying, it wasnt because he had cancelled it was because he hadn’t let me know!
He just replied fair point!
Anyway later that night I got a text saying he knew I was disappointed but he’d let me know as soon as he could, but he completely understood he wasn’t giving me what I need!

Anyway after that the texts pretty much stopped,
I contacted him a few days later on the anniversary of his step daughter’s death just to say I was thinking of him and around 8 hours later he replied saying thanks
Later that night I got a couple of texts telling me how stressed he was and that he hadn’t been sleeping, I was sympathetic but he never mentioned us! Anyway 4 days later I was still waiting to hear from him, so I decided to text and ask what he wanted me to do with his stuff that he’d left at my house…..
I was hoping he’d say that he wanted us to work out, but instead I got a reply asking if I could return them to where he works on his day off
I felt gutted, I replied saying I felt like I’d trusted him and he had let me down, that he had made promises which he’d never kept and that we had just been used over Christmas until he got back on his feet.
I wasn’t nasty I just was honest, saying I didn’t think he’d been upfront with me :(
It was a heartfelt message and he didn’t bother to reply….that was 2 days ago :(
I’m wondering if he ever really cared or if I was just be used , I think possibly he may have got back with his ex ? I just don’t know:( I feel so low and used:(

ReplyFebruary 7, 2017, 2:58 am



I have been in contact with this guy for a couple weeks now. This past weekend we made plans for me to go up and visit him because he lives 3 hours away. I took the train to go see him and we spent 5 days together. I had a great time and it was nice getting to know him. He took me to do things I had never done before, and he paid for everything.. And its not like I didnt offer, because I did many times, and when I tried to he wouldnt have it.. The last day I was there I asked him if it was just a hookup weekend, because I said if it was, then I wanted him to tell me so I would know where I stood and decide what I wanted to do. I mentioned that had happened in the past and I wanted it to be clear. He just said, is this the past, and I was like no it is not.. So he was like, ok do not over think it. So we left the conversation at that. That night he told me he would definitely see me again soon. But I have been back for a few days now and have barely heard from him. I reached out to him last night and we talked for a bit, but he works the night shift, and he left me on read.. I saw and wished him a great night and went to bed. I have not heard from him really at all. Before we saw each other, he constantly was texting me and I was texting him. I understand that we do not need to text all the time because we both are very busy people. Before I left I also told him I enjoyed the weekend and looked forward to getting to know each other better. Is this just a hookup? and should I contact him and say anything about it or wait to see what he does… Any advise?

ReplyJanuary 19, 2017, 9:19 pm

Starved For Love

Ahh, :(. I just had this conversation with someone that said something similar she said and I quote “i told him just tell me if you aren’t interested”. I replied, he is telling and showing you. Men don’t want to hurt our feelings to our face. That’s most men in general even when they are being hurtful. it’s up to you to decide what you want. If this is it, than this is it. He isn’t going to respond to the question so he can do it again if he wants. If he tells you yeh it was hook up, than he may loose that if he needs it again. Now I don’t know you but i’m going by what he’s doing. Is it ok with you, when he contacts you again ? if that’s all he wants?
with Love,

ReplyMarch 9, 2017, 8:24 pm


I’ve known this guy online for 2 years and we were very into each other (he lives in another country). We’ve talked on and off about taking things further and me moving in to see of things work out. But he has flaked out on me a few times over the course of our friendship.
We texted everyday for 2 years, he needed to do police training where he would be away for 3 months and needed someone to watch his dog. His was ex was supossed to but backed out and he was upset. I know how much he was struggling financially and emotionally so I offered to take unpaid leave from work and put my life in hold for him.

So I went and did what I promised and he has started his new job. But ever since I’ve been back home he rarely texts and makes hardly any effort. I’ve told him how the lack of communication is bothering me but he says I’m overthinking and being dramaticand that he’s busy. I can understand being busy but even in his days off he makes no effort. We were intimate the whole time I was there and now I feel like he’s treating me like a stranger.

Would like to know what others think. Am I being unfair in wanting him to make time for me or was I used and now tossed becuase I serve no purpose…

ReplyJanuary 18, 2017, 12:14 am



I have known this guy for almost an year . Recently we confessed our feeling for each other but before confessing he used to text me alot and used to be very quick with his replies . Now suddenly he has started texting me less and there were few times when I confronted him to which he said he accepts his carelessness and will try not to repeat this again. But contrary to this he ends up doing the same thing. I asked him many times has anything changed about his feelings for me to which he says very confidently that he loves me and every aspect of it. What do u suggest, is he losing interest in me? Also, suggest me what should i do because I have also started texting him less.

PS- He is not among them who stays occupied with his work.

Expecting a reply.

ReplyJanuary 15, 2017, 6:30 am


And ya forgot to mention , it Has only been 1month.

ReplyJanuary 15, 2017, 6:35 am


I’m going through the same thing despite we’ve been together almost 7 months now. And we stay in different towns 9hours drive

ReplyJanuary 22, 2017, 5:52 am


Just had a quick question….
Was sent this text by a guy that I have known for several months now. He constantly travels for work and stays very busy.
We mainly have a texting relationship as he lives in another state.

Would just like another person’s opinion on this text….
What does it mean when a guy texts this?…. “I hope you can continue to talk to me. It’s nice. Don’t take it personal if I ever ignore your emotions, I just don’t have that kinda time. I do care. Its just hard to see.”

ReplyJanuary 12, 2017, 8:15 pm


I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 months and his last text was 4days ago January 3, 2017 and it’s now January 7, 2017 I don’t know what to do I’m also 14 and he’s 15

ReplyJanuary 7, 2017, 9:09 am


Hi guys
I need you help….I was dating a guy here in my state
By he later traveled to other state,but since he traveled he don’t call or reply text on time.he only call frequently if he need help.then I block him from my whatsapp. Then he wrote me on my Facebook.then I explain why I did but he dint reply me till people are saying I should call and apologize…but pls I want to no if is right ….

ReplyDecember 10, 2016, 9:48 pm


So I’ve been seeing this guy in my department for roughly 3months, it was all very casual but then recently I would want to hang but he would say he’s busy but most of the time when he’d invite me over..I’d show up. I started feeling like everything were on his terms and I wasn’t getting the most out of this casual relationship. The last time we hung out (which was like 3 weeks ago) he asked me over and I agreed to meet up cause we had not hung out for like a week n half due to our busy schedule which was a first as we usually met like at least once a week. ( during this time I also asked to hang out and he said he was busy). So yh fast forward back to the last time we hung out…I got to his place we had a nice conversation and we had sex but right after it…he told me he had to finish a paper so he didn’t think he could let me spend the night which was always the case in the past. I tried to understand but I was still kinda hurt by it…so I left that night. The following week we saw in between classes and we had a quick chat after not texting since the last time we hung out…during the quick chat he hinted he was free that night so later that day I sent him a text saying I wanted to hang out that night and talk (by talk I wanted to bring up how I felt things were getting one sided) he then replied and said he was busy that maybe another time. Now his reply threw me off as I thought our quick chat earlier was his way of saying we could hang. I replied saying I understand (which I didn’t this point I was slightly pissed off) I then sent a follow up text about how i knew what we have is casual so I don’t expect much but I felt he had played the busy card one too many times and how I felt like I wasn’t getting the most out of our casual relationship. I also told him that I’m busy too but I try to make out time and that if our arrangement was gonna continue that he would have to be honest and tell me what was on his mind cause I was being honest with him….if not what was the point of the relationship. After I said all this he just never responded…for 2 days we would pass each other in school and not a word from him and personally that’s not my style so the third day I walked to him and said hi and we just had a normal conversation but didn’t bring up the issue. Next day when I saw him he came up to me and we had a chat…during the chat I brought up how he never responded and he just joked about it and also I brought the fact that I wasn’t feeling good about the whole situation and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking…all he said was he’s a man that he doesn’t think he just moves with his actions…he said all this jokingly. I then asked him if we were still friends (which was kinda what we’ve always referred to each other despite us having sex) he gave me this smirk and said yes of course…he then complimented me on a Facebook picture I posted over the weekend. Since then we haven’t seen each other due to school ended but still no text from him and I’m just here wondering what the hell is going on…does this mean it’s all over or cause it’s the exam period so he’s focused on that? I’m really confused about this guy and I’m normally good at reading in between the lines. Someone help me explain this man!

ReplyDecember 6, 2016, 1:06 am


Can I just add…I don’t know if I was being needy…I need someone’s perspective on this and how do I resolve this too

ReplyDecember 6, 2016, 1:25 am


I think he is using you and only calls when he is bored. My advise to you is either use the same excuses he uses when he asks you to hang out or just ignore him. I’m a guy btw.

ReplyJanuary 2, 2017, 10:06 pm


Hello, I need some advice on a guy I recently meet over the Tinder app. We hit it off super well and we were texting and snapchatting nonstop for a while (he even snapchatted me in the shower just a few days ago). Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship or have even had a guy express any romantic ‘I want to date you’ interest in me (I’m in college and am a single mom in my lower 20s). Because of this I kinda messed up and starting acting pretty needy and clingy towards him. I realized I was doing this after a few days and apologized to him over Facebook messenger. He said it was fine, but said “when you’re super over the top clingy, sorta scary” even though he also said that I “am a sweet girl and I wanna get to know you” in the same message. We continued talking, and then I asked if I could text or snapchat him. He responded that I could text him if I wanted to, so I did within a few minutes of him responding. No response. After three hours, I sent another text saying that “alrightly, I assume you’re super busy so I will check back in an hour or so to see how you’re doing. Talk to you later :-) “. Still no response. So finally after three hours after that text, I send a “hey just checking in” text. Still no response. He seemed super into me just a few days ago. Is there any way I can reverse this “no response” deal he’s got going on? Or is he testing me for clinginess/neediness? Some information on him: He’s 22, single, has said that he has been single for awhile, and has also said that he doesn’t have too many friends.

ReplyOctober 29, 2016, 10:05 pm


Hey there,
I think he was testing your neediness. I don’t want to sound mean at all but you kinda showed him that you are. You apologized to him for appearing needy, he accepted it and kept talking to you. Right after he says you can text him, you do, and followed up twice after. The rule of thumb is whenever you text a guy, you don’t text again until he responds. When you don’t follow up, you make it appear as though you are busy (which is good). Sometimes a guy will take hours to respond, and I take hours to reply back. Give and take.

ReplyNovember 7, 2016, 10:25 am


hey guys :) i need ur help…its about a month or so that im into a guy….he’s 3 years older than me and he’s a college student in our city studying my fav major here….so I send him a massage and ask him a lot of things about his major and told him i rly like this major and he said come to university one day i’ll show u around and stuff…i went there for both him and university….he treated as a nice guy….after that day he didnt text me at all and till now i just texted him twice and asked stuff about that major….he just treats me like a normal girl idk how to show him i like him…u know he doesn’t even like all my instagram post which i post them just for him to see how i’m feeling or how my life goes…idk what to do plz help me guys…i dont want to just tell him “I LIKE U”….want to SHOW him that i like him…..and i guess i have some English problems in this text sry my english isnt very good…..waiting for ur advice guys <3

ReplyOctober 27, 2016, 1:11 pm


I started seeing this guy roughly about a month ago. I have never encountered anything like him before. In the beginning he would tell me things that would indicate he sees me in the future with him for example, when we were cuddling together his pets started jumping on the bed waking both of us up and he says, “this is what it’s going to be like in the future when we have kids.” or he would say “this is a forever-type-of-thing” which really gets to me. I know that he’s busy because of work, but I just do not understand how he could be sooo sweet and then all of a sudden just stops responding to me.

I’ve been reading a lot of the posts here and even ended up buying a book online called “Everything you need to know if you want love that lasts” (and I highly recommend it, got me through some tough times with someone else hahah). And I know I haven’t given him the “needy” vibe and I really try and not to wait on his messages. But HOW DO I GET HIM TO REPLY TO ME?!!

ReplyOctober 20, 2016, 5:04 pm


My boyfriend has been together since May of 2016. He left for school in NY this pass week. He said he is going for the program which is about 6 months and then he will be coming back to were I live. I have been texting him and he has not replied to my messages. I have asked several times if he would like for me to leave him along or if we are still in a relationship. I notice he reads my messages but will not reply. However, I did text him recently & he replied saying that he will text me after he gets out of class but never did later that day I called him several times on video call, then he finally answered but the call was ended. However, he did call me back with an audio call afterwards but it was a missed called. So I texted him good morning the next day. He read it but did not reply. I have no clue why he won’t answer my text.

ReplyOctober 20, 2016, 10:20 am


Reading some things A New Mode was saying has really opened my eyes and I now know that for a fact I am one of the ones who acts NEEDY!!!! So my question here is: If I’m supposed to show a boy that I’m not going to tolerate the way he’s acting; how am I suppose to express that to him without being needy??

ReplyOctober 16, 2016, 7:51 pm


I was seeing a guy for about 6 months, it was mostly casual sex and flirtation. I thought we were good, then he started getting pissy when I would leave shortly after sex. I liked him enough to continue on as it was or to consider spending more time with him if that was something he wanted, so I asked if he wanted more or for things to stay the way they were. He said he was busy with work too much to have a relationship, so I said no worries. I thought this meant business as usual, so we spent another evening together about a week later, and then he ghosted me for 9 months. Then he showed up at my work, spoke with me at length, apologized for being busy with work and not talking to me for so long. Then he disappears for 3 months, appears at my work again, sits with me while I have my lunch, we laugh, we talk more than we ever had before, then he gives me a very handsy hug and says we should have coffee soon and it was really great seeing me. I text him two days later saying it was nice to see him, no response. I dont see or hear from him for 2 months, he comes into my work to see me, we talk flirt and joke for a half hour, he leaves and I don’t text him this time. He doesn’t text me. He comes in two more months later. Yesterday. The guy makes a point to tell me he came to see me while running errands on his day off, a half hour out of his way, spends an hour with me, there were awkward silent moments, jokes and laughter, small talk, exchange of how our lives are going… the goodbye was kind of an awkward hug. I text him today in reference of a question he asked me yesterday, again no response. Again. It is his number. He gave it to me yesterday again. What is he doing? If he wanted casual sex again, why not ask? If he wanted a relationship, why not ask? Do I need to do something extra here? I just don’t get why he wont answer my texts. There is no pressure on my end to be in a relationship or anything. I do care about him, I’d have to be heartless not to after all this time, but why not text me back, or at all?

ReplyOctober 11, 2016, 3:24 am


His behavios are very clear that he doesn’t want anything serious and pretty sure he has other candidates to fill up his free time during the night, sometimes casual sex is not something you need him to ask for it, if you are ok with him not committed with you but still having sex, he clearly see this as you are ok with the casual sex. The reason he dosent bother replying you message which mean he has nothing to invest in you anymore to get what he wants since he already had it..

ReplyOctober 14, 2016, 9:45 am


I made a statement on this link as well. Will I get a notification when someone replies to it? If so, will it be an email notification being that was required to submit a reply or situation.

ReplyOctober 20, 2016, 2:41 pm

Jane Smith

Are you freakin serious! Next time he show’s up call the cop’s and report him for harassment he has no business to keep showing up at your work, he just playing games. DO NOT!!!! I REPEAT EVER TEXT him again he’s a total creep.

ReplyJune 21, 2019, 11:40 pm

Ooh Folashade

I met this guy in my place of work about one year ago.We started cool and he really like to text and calls.All of a sudden he stop calling ,and do takes him a longer time to reply to my text claiming he’s just too lazy to call or text people.I’m just confused.And I really love him.

ReplyOctober 9, 2016, 11:38 am


Eric Charles. Im glad a came across this article, which applies to both women and men ;) Very entertaining.

ReplyOctober 6, 2016, 3:03 pm

Eric Charles

Yes. Glad you liked it.

ReplyOctober 7, 2016, 4:09 pm


Two years ago, my best friend introduced me to a guy who was her close friend(let’s call him Thomas). This guy also happened to be crushing on her. So, after a few awkward meetings, we slowing started to warm up to each other. Since my best friend was already in a relationship at that time, she turned him down. He came to me, asking for a reason (he didn’t know she was dating another guy). I tried to keep things chilled between the two of them. But, after a few months, they had had a huge fight and their friendship was over.
Months after that, I experienced my very first break up. Since it coincided with my year end exams, I didn’t do very well, and failed in two subjects. Heartbroken and dejected, I was, with no support from the family. My friends were out of question- I was embarrassed and humiliated. And depressed. I turned to the only option I was left with. Thomas.
I went to him crying, begging him to do something. Such a sweetheart he was. He asked me to hold on to him, and he pulled me out of my depression. It was a troublesome process. But he was so very patient and understanding. After about five months, I had come back to my normal self. We happened to meet one day after that, but chance. And we talked and laughed for a good three hours. It was a fun time. I had laughed and joked after so long. While leaving, though, he hinted very subtly, that he likes me. But I brushed it aside, thinking it’s just my state of mind. And I didn’t think much of it. After that day, he became distant.
He stopped talking to me. Stopped replying to my calls and texts. Two months later, we got into a very pointless argument, and in frustration, I told him that I don’t ever want to talk to him. I also told him that I hate him.
We didn’t talk for four months. In fact, I had totally forgotten about him. Two months ago, on an impulse, I text him. And within minutes, i get a response from him. I somehow convince him to be friends, to continue the friendship that had just began almost a year ago. A few weeks, it was all great. I thought I got my friend back. The same quirky, wacky, weird ass guy who had been my support during my bad days, was back! I was so happy.
He started flirting, leaving not so subtle hints here and there. But, I didn’t think he was serious. A guy like him can never be serious about being committed. One day, all of sudden, he didn’t reply to my text. I had said, ‘Because I’m enjoying it.’ in response to his, ‘why do you stimulate my thoughts so much?’
Long story short, he’s behaving strangely since that day. Doesn’t talk to me properly. Uses too many fullstops. Gives one word replies. Or at times, doesn’t replies at all.
I don’t know what’s happening. Please help me.

ReplyOctober 4, 2016, 5:04 am


I’ve known the guy I’m dating for 15+ years. We started becoming closer friends again last year & dating officially 3 months ago. When we were friends he was a very sporadic texter > sometimes he would respond immediately, sometimes it
took days. When we started officially dating, he was great. Nothing long, but little check-ins through the day made me know he was thinking about be. Things started to get more ‘serious’ with us and his texting became more unreliable. Recently he invited me away on a couples trip with him and his friends, he confessed that he has liked me since we were
18 and things have been getting much more intimate. We are planning to go away together next weekend for the weekend. Sounds great right? He will go days without texting me and sometimes it has taken him hours–like a whole day, to respond to my text. I have told him twice this hurts my feelings and he said “ok wow I didn’t realize” and then he just continues the behaviour. When we are together he is 150% all in and then in between does this stuff. He also recently told me he is purposely taking things slow because he made mistakes in his last relationships that ended up really hurting him.
I still am not ok with his ‘text ghosting’. A) I can’t help but feel like he is seeing other women otherwise what would stop him from texting for multiple hours and B) how do I change his behaviour when talking to him about it hasn’t worked? My instinct many times recently has been to end it with him, but I care about him a lot and don’t want to end something that has a lot of potential… advice??!!!

ReplySeptember 29, 2016, 7:27 am


Hello Guys so I met this guy on hot or not app we were texting and everything was good but now he keeps ignoring my message the last think he texted was “go awaaay” I have no idea why he would say that we had plans to meet and all that, I really like him and I just don’t know what to do

ReplySeptember 7, 2016, 3:27 am


Hi i have been on and off with this guy for over a year now. Basically we met on Facebook, got to know each other then one day we met we live very close but go to different schools everything seemed perfect at the start we spent the whole summer holiday together but he gradually started to text me less and less, we kept arguing and braking up but weeks after he would message me and we would get back together even though I would try to move on, I would always choose him even though he got with my best friend (at the time) because I was with one of his friends I know it sounds pathetic but I can’t seem to let him go, we recently got back together and he only texts me when he wants to meet which is every few days but in person it seems perfect but I don’t understand why he gives me such mixed signals and how he begged me to get back with him when he wont even text me unless he wants something which makes me feel like he’s trying to use me, someone help btw we’re both 15

ReplyAugust 20, 2016, 12:09 pm


So I’ve known this guy for 7 years. We met when we were 17. Very random. I liked him at the time but ended up meeting my ex I was with for 6 years. I thought we went separate ways at like year 2 but we never did. We ended up swapping numbers and talked as friends. Never consistent but he ALWAYS reached out to me. This past year I broke up with my ex and me and my friend talked almost every day from January until June and now it’s like every two weeks or so which is fine. He takes forever to text which is fine also cause fast texting annoys me. He told me he liked me about a month ago and said he liked ME…my personality. Now I text him and he opens the text but never responds and I see him tweeting and looking at my snaps. I’m trying to ask him out but how do I do that if he doesn’t answer. And I’m not needy so I don’t want it to seem like I am. I just want him to answer so I can pop the question. I’ve tried shaking him off as a friend but he’s never left my side and now that I’m ready to date him I can’t get the timing right. I also asked him if he is single just to make sure and he said yes soo I don’t know what to do! Please help:(

ReplyAugust 18, 2016, 10:33 pm


I really struggle to tell if a guy actually likes me… I met a guy in a bar the other night, we danced, swapped numbers and even had a cheeky snog before parting ways. The next morning I text to see if he enjoyed his night, he text back pretty quick. I text him back later in the day as I was busy but didn’t get a reply. This was yesterday. Do I just leave the ball in his court now? Should I text again in a few days? I’m clueless

ReplyAugust 7, 2016, 11:13 am


Hi! i’m seeing a guy who’s from another country.He showed interest on me when we first met and got in a relationship after 2 weeks(but he was always trying and wanting to hold hands from when we first met and this is little weird to me..). We had a several little fights about ways of showing affection to each other.Cause i needed more time for knowing each other. We know that we were living in a completely different environment, culture things but i wanted to start a relationship carefully and told him how i feel (when i meet him i don’t really feel like that he truly likes me and he never calls me we just do texting all day..well but he response pretty well.But how could he never call me if he likes me??)Then he said he would not push me but wants me to be more open. So we are dating only at the public places yet,but of course he wants me to come over his place and saying that he wants to cuddle with me. Maybe i’m too guarded but i can’t get off this thinking that Does he really likes me? and is this what he just wants?. He keeps saying it’s not what he just wants and he wants to keep seeing me. But i feel like he has been changed because i didn’t spend the time with him privately.It’s been 2 months for relationship, He even canceled the date today because he’s feeling not good. i don’t know what should i do and confused if he really likes me or not..

ReplyAugust 6, 2016, 11:43 am


Hi i badly need advise cause i dont know what to do already, i’ve been reading your blogs for quite some time already and i think you have the most reasonable advise than other sites.
Me and my boyfriend been together for almost 10 years already i cannot say that its a smooth sailing relationship cause me my self i admit that its really a rough relationship with lots of ups and downs. then just 5 months ago we became long distance relationship due to he needs to work abroad to help hi’s family needs and for our future as well,,the 1st and 2nd month was good although sometimes he’s pulling away he always explain that he’s just feeling home sick and not in the mood to talk which i understand, until lately we had this argument about his family he’s so mad at me because i feel jealous on the attentions he’s giving to he’s family which we were able to talk about,and fix. However after a week of talking again he suddenly pulled away again,randomly messaging me or if he’s talking to me i can feel the boredom that he’s not interested so i asked him again if theres a problem he just simple answered me that “HE’S NOT IN THE MOOD AGAIN” however i dont know but something is not right,so i keep on asking him about the problem and he gets mad saying that im over thinking things,which i admit i became so needy out of emotion and until now if i feel so frustrated i still bombard him with messages, i dont know what to think and do anymore i ask him if we can talk about it and fix this relationship but he just ask me to back off for the meantime and stop bombarding him, i feel so hurt and neglected i cant accept the fact that he can resist me knowing that im hurting, i messaged him just today and asked him what does he want to this relationship? i asked him if he still want to continue our relationship but he just answered me the same thing to stop bombarding him for the meantime, i asked him if he still love me or if he still cares for me but he did’nt answer me back anymore.
i know that showing my frustrations and neediness to him wont help but i dont know what to do or think anymore i seems like my heart will explode if i dont say what i feel to him about this but yes my neediness just pushing him away further.
what does this mean? is he falling out of love? i dont wanna lose him but i dont know what to do anymore.

ReplyJuly 27, 2016, 1:47 am


Hello, I’m super confused. This guy and I have been talking for almost 4 months now. We recently have hung out and went on a romantic date together. He finally kissed me. Recently, we have been texting like everyday, and all of sudden he is taking hours and hours to respond. I’m really upset about it because i’m starting to like him and thought him and I were hitting it off good. I don’t know what to do. I feel like i have bad luck with guys.

ReplyJuly 26, 2016, 9:58 pm


OMG! I’m going through the same thing! Soooo frustrating.

ReplyAugust 9, 2016, 11:13 pm


Am in a situation where me and my crush are married and are in a professional relationship. We have been very professional towards each other .I sense that he is attracted to me but am not sure .I am crazy attracted to him. I know that he values my advice and has respect for me . During our professional relationship we have gotten quite friendly but never crossed the line of a client with each other and i have taken the initiative to be just a tad flirty (if you can even call it that ) with him. He always responded to my texts even the cheeky ones almostin 2 or 3 seconds. Recently my advice has been completed and there is no reason for us to be in touch. Even though I missed him like crazy , I didnt reach out to him as I thought that if he needed my advise he would. So after about couple of months i did text him and ask him how his matter went .His reply was as usual in 2 seconds ,where he said that it was nice to hear from me and he went on a little to tell me about his matter , he ended it by saying that he will revert to be by that nite with the relevant document . So i replied something friendly and said like Ill wait for that .

Its been about 5 days now and i am really missing talking to him . What should I do ? Is his “Nice to hear from you ” any indication that he may feel the same way as me ?Dont know what I want from this but i guess its just a rush to know if he could be attracted to me .

ReplyJuly 18, 2016, 5:10 am


To Anonymous: I’m kind of confused. You said you are married, but you don’t even know if he’s attracted to you?

ReplyJuly 18, 2016, 9:16 am


Yes i know I sound silly . Im not happily married . We have talked about separation . The guy who Im attracted to well , he has shown some signals that he is too but since my last text in reply to his I havent heard from him. Not sure if I should reach out again .

ReplyJuly 18, 2016, 10:33 pm


Ok i get the confusion . I’m married to another . My crush is married to another , that’s what I meant

ReplyJuly 18, 2016, 10:34 pm


I recently began seeing a guy that I met a work related function. Typically we laugh and have an absolute blast together. We started dating and saw each other three days in a row the first weekend and then the following weekend same thing and then this weekend happened. I should add he is in the process of a divorce and is still living in the house with his wife who met someone else and spends most of her weekends with her new boyfriend. So this weekend we spend at his place – Friday night I made dinner and Saturday we were supposed to go on this day trip which would take about 4 hours of traveling time. Initially he wanted to spend the night at the destination but half way through the day he changed his mind. He had been quiet all day and rather distant. I could feel it and at lunch excused myself to the bathroom to gather my thoughts and re-focus myself on maintaining a carefree, unaffected attitude towards his rather unattractive behavior. I returned to the table and he began to express to me that he was struggling with coping with the divorce and he had spent a lot of time in this town (that we were passing through) with his soon to be ex. He actually started tearing up. I was understanding and supportive. He said he just wanted to go home and do this day trip another time. I was understanding and kindly said I was flexible and could do whatever he needed to feel better. Mind you, getting home took 4 hours. So we spent a lot of time talking in the car and at one point he said he really likes me and cares for me; that this is all new to him (he has been married for 10 years) but that he wants to take a step back and take things slow. We have already slept together and I just don’t see how I can “take it slow” now that we are here. I am thinking perhaps he is not ready for a relationship especially considering he is not even really divorced yet! I forgot to mention his soon to be ex wife cheated on him and asked for the divorce which all in all was only 6 weeks ago. He is supposed to take me to the airport next Friday and I am thinking I need to make other arrangements. Should I back off and maybe just drop this whole thing before it backfires? Or am I overanalyzing an otherwise fine situation.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 4:31 pm


Hi! In my situation, I was dating with a guy that lives in another country at the beginning he came back and visited in my country like three times. Even when he was travelling in that time he communicates with me every day by texts and called me like every week. Lately, he is travelling again but further than the last time and the first days the communication was still the same but lately he started to text less and less every two or three days. In all this time I was very patience and asked him if he everything was fine and his response was that in long distance relationship this was ver normal that he still misses me and think about me. So I let things by how they was but he continue sending only one message for every two days wich is really booring for me. For now I haven’t answered his last text because like you said I dont want to settle for something I dont like. I hope he texts me again to show that he is really interested, but what do you think should I do?
Regards :)

ReplyJuly 5, 2016, 12:33 pm


So I know this guy we have been friends not close but friends for about four years I met him when I was dating my ex it’s one of his friends. We started texting each other three days ago. The first night he seemed really interested. The next day he texted me in the morning and we texted throughout the day but not as often because we were both busy. His brother is currently in town and he says he is sick but when he feels better he wants to go out . The third day I asked if he wanted to get dinner and I said I know your sick and I’m a bit impatient and forward. I never got a response. Then hours later o said hey how is your day? He responded a few hours later saying long day and asking how I was. I told him good I have had more energy since working out etc and took some self portraits. He replied saying he know how that feels and he would like me to send him one. I did. I never heard back. He’s seen my snap chats early this morning and I still haven’t heard from him. I don’t know how to handle this or if I should ask if I did something to not make him interested? He seemed really into me the first two days saying he was excited to see me and etc. and I don’t know what happened. Any advice?

ReplyJuly 1, 2016, 2:19 pm


To Julia: I know people that do that and to me it’s very annoying. When you know they read your text but don’t reply for hours, it tells me they can’t be bothered. But I mostly know girls that do that. The thing is, you never know what’s really going on when they’re not replying. It could be because they’re not into texting. It could be they’re not into texting you, specifically. Or they could have just gotten really busy. I would say if you text him and he doesn’t reply, just make other plans for the day and don’t wait around for him to reply. Don’t check your phone every 5 minutes to see if he answered. Just go on about your day. If he is actually into you, and knows he can’t just text at any hour of the day and you’ll reply immediately, he’ll make more of an effort. I will say though–the reason he might not be replying is that he feels awkward about talking to his friend’s ex.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:00 am


hie! i believe men and women shud always run after each other. A man has to show his care and run after his lady. so let the guy play his game if its true lov he will be back for you and give attention.

ReplyMay 31, 2016, 10:05 am


My boyfriend is never home either he’s in school and ill be starting up college too very soon. So we’re hardly together. I think my prob. Is i dont really have any close friends so i talk to him alot about everything. But iv been getting realy upset lately because he dosnet really seem ti ‘care’. But i know he actually does. After reading this and another article iv been ignoring a lot of his snapchats amd texts the past couple days only occasionally answering and just short and simple. But he hasn’t really been texting me. He knee i was upset then i decided ti cool off and be less needy. He snapped me several timesand texted but he hsnt really been that into it. Now he isnt realky texting ie anything tiday. Could it be because im in vacation this week and he think im busy? I know hes not he has the week off too. He has been fishing and thats all je olans to do.

ReplyMay 30, 2016, 4:03 pm


To Bailey: Since I don’t know how your boyfriend acts in person, I can’t say I know whether he really seems to care or not. But it sounds like he’s either really not into texting, or really not into you. Has he ever talked to you about his thoughts on texting or technology? Have you ever seen him text other people, like his friends? Did he seem more or less excited than he acts while texting you? Does he ever contact you in other ways, like calling, for example? These can help you figure out what his texting habits are. But it may just be because you’ve dated for a while and unless you’re making plans, he doesn’t feel obligated to text you every day. And since you said he’s in school, he’s probably really busy. All those things, combined with the fact that you said you only usually talk to him about what’s going on in your life…I’m sure he expects that you’ll be there whenever he texts, so he doesn’t feel like he has to text you all the time. Make other plans, don’t wait around for him. Enjoy your vacation! I’m sure you’ve got other things you could be doing. Wait until after it’s over and you can talk in person. (The fact is, since you’re going off to college soon, you guys might break up anyway. And I’m very sorry to say that if he’s actively not replying even if he’s on vacation too, there might be someone else involved. It’s not for sure. But you have to realize that when guys go off to college without their girlfriends, they might meet other people. That certainly doesn’t validate his behavior though. Don’t accuse him of it, and don’t go looking through his things to figure out if he’s got another girlfriend. If after you stop texting back, he just texts less and less, no matter if there’s someone else or not, he’s not that into you and therefore not worth your time anyway.) Hope this helps. And when you go off to college, you don’t want to just be focusing on guys. Work on getting good grades and doing what you need to do to get the career you want. Guys aren’t the only thing in the world! :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:26 am


But how am I supposed to fee close to my boyfriend? I feel in person he cares a lot and loves me more than anything but any other time i fee its al inadequate. The texts amd stuff.

ReplyMay 30, 2016, 3:49 pm


Thank you for your advice. So far it helps not only to get him texting back but also I realised I had a life before he came a long and I tend to make him my life after that. So now im again more focused on other things a used to be than just him.

ReplyMay 26, 2016, 2:58 am


ok so I am going through a divorce and the new guy Ive known all my life we are old neighbors, he is 5years older then me and we reconnected as he works for a company we do business for. Well we started talked before I filed for divorce and we would text everyday all day, well things started happening as I filed and my tension got high with dealing with everything and I took alot of my frustration on the new guy and kind of pushed him away a bit we still talk and we have hooked up, but Im wondering if I completely blew my chances with him, we are perfect together and he has been single for a very long time and also has full custody of his daughter and I have 2 boys of my own. Things were going great till things on my end started going sour. I asked him for a second chance and he told me maybe thats all he could say right now, now keep in mind my divorce is not final yet and he is a stickler about it so its not like we can introduce each other to each others families cause they already know one another but were keeping this low because of me going thru the divorce. I guess Im wondering opinions stay low till divorce is final or just walk away from the new guy.

ReplyMay 24, 2016, 8:49 am


To Deborah: I don’t think it was a very good idea to hook up with someone else while filing for divorce. However, that’s in the past now and you can’t do anything about it. I would say, wait until everything is filed, you’ve gone to court, and your divorce is official. Then you can start talking to him again. Explain why you pushed him away before and apologize for your behavior. I would say get closer as friends and at least date before you hook up. That’s never a great idea when you’re not even dating because it causes you to become closer to him emotionally, and you don’t even know if this will work out. Don’t hide him from your kids if you want to actually persue this relationship for the long run. Hope it helps :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:33 am


Well this guy and I have been dating since may 1st, that week he invited me 5 days.. Then on tuesday 10th again.. And the 11th I came to Miami for vacations and he texted me almost everyday, then on friday he called me..
On sunday we talked over text
And today he texted me in the morning.. And then he stoped answering like 6 hours ago, and I saw him online and he still havent answer I dont understand him

ReplyMay 17, 2016, 8:14 pm


To Melissa: That’s annoying, right? You can tell they’re online but they haven’t replied. This could be for a few reasons. He could be busy with something he’s doing online. He could have not seen your message. He could prefer to talk in person (which may be why he keeps inviting you on vacation). He could think you guys talked a lot recently and doesn’t feel like he has to text you every day. Or it could be he’s just not that into you. I doubt it though, because it seems like this is the first time he’s done this and there are lots of other possibilities. If he doesn’t reply for hours, just do something else. If he replies later, great. But if this becomes a habit (him never texting back), you may want to either not text him every day, or talk with him about it. Hope this helps!

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:42 am


ok, so, I met this guy, we get together once in a while, but just to smoke weed. He texted me the first time, and sometimes I text him. BUT EACH time literally he leaves me in seen. I don’t know why that is, we talk sometimes, and sometimes I start the conversation, and he talks to me super cool, but suddenly leaves me just hanging there. help!

ReplyMay 9, 2016, 10:08 pm


To Iola: First of all, shame on you for smoking weed. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Since you guys haven’t really met for any real hangouts or dates, just to smoke, what’s probably the case is that he thinks you guys are just casual. It’s likely he only sees you as someone he can meet up with at times to do drugs, and nothing else. He may not even see you as a friend. That’s probably why he doesn’t feel like he needs to reply. In this case, if you want a relationship, this is probably not the guy to have one with, since he likely won’t want to transition from the “casual weed buddies” stage into the “dating” stage. If he replies, great. But don’t actively seek him out. If he wants something more, he’ll get it together. Hope this helps.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:49 am


Hi guys, I met this guy about 4 months ago on a dating site, we have always messaged each other now and then. We have been honest with each other in the respect we have only been talking to a couple of people and have made it very clear we really like each other. We met for the first time a week ago and messaging has stayed the same. He did make it clear if he doesn’t message it’s not because he’s not interested it’s his hours at work and his little boy and I understand this as I have kids and run a business. But I can’t help when he doesn’t message for a day or so that he’s not interested. Some times I will message and he replies and some times it’s days? It doesn’t take long to reply to a message if you really like someone . Am I looking to into this or is he really not interested? When I met him he came across he was very interested as he was throwing lovely comments at me and was very nervous. He is much younger than me he’s 29 and I’m 40 is it an age thing? I worry to say some thing because I don’t want him to think I’m needy or put him off. What to do???? I really like him help!

ReplyMay 2, 2016, 12:45 pm


To Lisa: I’m not saying it’s definitely an age thing, but an 11 year difference is kind of a lot. Especially since he’s younger than you. It could be, like he said, that he’s just busy. Or it could be that after you guys met IRL, he sort of lost interest, but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It also could be that you’ve just forgotten how younger guys act. At this point in your life, you’re probably looking for something serious, and that makes sense. But he might still be trying to figure out if this is going to work. If he’s divorced, or just got out of a relationship, he might just be upset and not really ready to be dating yet. Bottom line is: you should just take it slow and see how this plays out. It could end up really well. Or he might just not be that into you. Hope this helps :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 9:57 am


Hi guys! Hoping to get a response from an older guy on this. I met a guy a couple months ago. We don’t live close to each other, so I had him download WhatsApp. I can see that he’s constantly checking WhatsApp, but rarely initiates a conversation. I’m so not into text games…..who should text who first, etc. But I can’t figure this guy out. He’s not the player type, he’s actually a bit shy. If he’s not interested, why does check to see if I’ve messaged him?? And why not just say hi?

ReplyApril 27, 2016, 8:01 am


To Nicole: I’m not an older guy, sorry :) but I hope my advice will help. It sounds like you don’t even really know this guy, so you may just be going by how he’s acted before. If he acts shy, it could be that he’s just nervous about initiating conversation. But I think if he really wanted to talk to you, he would just do it. Do you know him well enough to know if he’s not the “player type” or not? The thing is, I’m not sure why he’s not replying exactly, especially because he’s checking the app, but not talking to you. You can text him hi, but if he doesn’t reply, just go on with your day. If he continues to not text you, just go on with your life. He may be shy, but do you really want a guy that’s too scared to even talk to you? In that case, it would probably be time to just move on. Hope this helps :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:04 am


So my best guy friend and I snapchat all the time and we have been friends for almost a year. We are both in High School. We were snapchatting one night and he got drunk and sent me a picture of his dick. He has a girlfriend but I am single and he said it was an accident and I told him that it didnt change our friendship and the next day we acted like nothing happened. But the next day he didnt open or answer my snap and he hasnt for a few days… Is he mad about what happened?

ReplyApril 12, 2016, 5:26 pm


Hi Megan! I don’t see why he would be mad since he’s the one who sent you the picture. Maybe he just feels awkward and feels like he shouldn’t snapchat you after that happened. He might feel guilty for doing that, so maybe that’s why isn’t snapchatting you back.

ReplyApril 23, 2016, 2:55 pm


This isn’t entirely true. I’m a bit shy so if my boyfriend ditches me, I can’t really make a back up plan since I don’t have many friends. But, if I tell him I’m hurt by what he does and it’d be best to just break up, he gets over his childish behavior. (The scenario has only happened once or twice when we were serious so I don’t seem like the weak one, letting him ditch over and over and take him back anyways)

ReplyApril 9, 2016, 9:35 am


To Selena: You said you’re not the “weak one,” going back to him. But it seems like you’ve broken up with him once or twice, but you still keep getting back together for some reason. Honestly, you shouldn’t break up with someone to make them change their behavior. If he changes as soon as you dump him, it’s either because he wants to get better because he’s really into you, or he’s so not into you that it’s not even funny. The reasoning for that is, he might be “ditching” you because he doesn’t feel like being around you. A guy that’s into you will make an effort to actually be with you. He may also see you as “needy” because you don’t make plans with many other people, just him. If this description fits his behavior, you should break up with him. And don’t get back together this time.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:11 am


So a guy i like said he likes me. we snapchated for a long time everyday. Now he never answers and we barely talk at school, we hug but we don’t talk much. I don’t even know if he will ask me out. I need help. A lot of help!!! SOMEONE HELP PLEASE

ReplyApril 5, 2016, 11:58 pm


To Nikki: I’m guessing from this comment that you’re in elementary or middle school. Here’s my advice: this guy is probably just a little nervous talking to you since he told you he liked you. But the fact you’re hugging is a good sign :) Try talking to him in person rather than just on Snapchat. Walk to class together or sit next to each other if you have classes together. Eat lunch together. If you have recess or study hall, hang out then. Meet outside your school after the bell and chat. (Just FYI: he may not ask you out since he’s already expressed interest.) Hope this helps! :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:25 am


I am going through same..its been a one week we didn’t talk n he doesn’t bother also..starting he was messaging but now he has stopped. .I just don’t know the reason if he loves me then why is he doing this with me..He did cut my calls also and asked me not to call.he is busy in his own life but I cannot stop thinking about him..I have become needy.

ReplyMarch 27, 2016, 6:21 am


To Fatema: Okay, just not answering is one thing. But literally telling you not to call is another. That means he just doesn’t want to talk to you. Unless you’re calling his phone twenty times an hour at all hours of the day or night, he has no reason to be telling you not to contact him. Honestly, it doesn’t sound like he loves you. He might not even like you! Here’s how to not be needy: don’t text him when he doesn’t text back. Don’t call him since he’s obviously adamant about you not calling. Move on. You don’t need this jerk. It doesn’t matter how busy he is. If he was into you, he’d want to talk to you. Period.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:30 am


My boyfriend and I were together for 3.5 years and towards the end of the relationship I could tell he wasnt happy, but not enough to leave. One day he jad enough packed his bags and left. It was emotional at first. We fought, I cried alot and begged for him back. Its been a month now and we text almoat daily, talk on the phone maybe once a week. He says he loves me but cannot be with me and obviously it kills me. Im getting better and ignoring his texts and spending more time to text back. Partially because im busy with other things and also because I know im needy and pushing him away. In what ways besides stated do you think I could change my own life so im not pretending and actually being happy? In reality im miserable without him but im getting better at loving myself and refraining from needing him. But it doesnt change how I feel. I feel like he is stringing me along, making me an option instead of a priority. I want him to know im not okay with it without being emotional or angry to him about it. Also in a way that makes me more desirable to him. Tia

ReplyMarch 20, 2016, 1:56 am


WOW this is exactly what I’m going through as well. Can someone please give us some good advice ?

ReplyMarch 21, 2016, 9:46 am


Dear Tia and Haley: It’s great that you want to be happier, but I don’t think you should be worrying about how to seem more attractive to guys that broke up with you. If these guys weren’t happy with the relationship, trying to get them to take you back won’t help you or them. And texting/calling regularly isn’t a good idea either. It makes you think you can get them back. They may love you, but it’s obvious your relationship won’t work. Here’s what you should do: tell your exes straight out that you need to stop talking to them, at least for a long time. Breakups should be clean breaks. They shouldn’t involve staying friends or texting them regularly. Block their numbers, unfollow them on social media. Don’t feel obligated to date again until you’re ready. Find a hobby that you enjoy. Eat your favorite foods and watch Netflix. Focus on your schoolwork or job. Make plans with friends. When you feel like crying because of how much you miss him, write down your thoughts in a journal or talk to a friend or family member. DO NOT CALL HIM. DO NOT TEXT HIM. DO NOT MAKE CONTACT AND DO NOT MEET UP WITH HIM. You aren’t being mean or ignoring him. You’re doing what you need to do to get over him. You shouldn’t even be friends for a long time. And for the sake of your happiness, let go of the thought that you might get back together. I’m not trying to crush your hopes. But that thought will just make you even more miserable because you’re not with him. Give yourself time to get over him. Then go back to the real world.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:48 am


almost 2 weeks ago he told me he loves me, I didn’t believe him. but he repeated it, I said no you probably love sex with me, and he said no I love you. The he asked me to come visit him while he goes to the states to visit his family, I was surprised because Ive always wanted him to ask me to come with him. He is going there for a few months so he asked me to take some time and go visit him there. I was the happiest because for the past month he has been showing significant leaps in his behavior with me, I feel he cares about me and really likes me, ive always felt he loved me but hearing it solidified it for me. Then his best friend passed away 2 days after he told me how he feels for me, he was texting me the night his friend passed away, but once he heard the news he has been hurt. He hasn’t really expressed how he truly feels about this, I just know he’s hurt and I accept everyone has their own way of grieving so I will not try and be pushy. We haven’t seen each other in 2 days and have not talked either. I am truly not trying to be selfish at all, but what should I do?

ReplyMarch 11, 2016, 12:56 pm


To Keke: Just let him grieve for his friend. Be there for him if he needs you. I’m not saying don’t act like your needs aren’t important, but right now he probably just needs your support. When he gets over his grief, you can move forward.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:52 am


okay so iv been talking to this guy for about a month. all we do is snap chat. everyday hes my best friend on there and im his. we hung out all day one time for 6 hrs. he told me i was important but now he just opened my snap chat and replied two hours later and said he forgot. then he told me to text him and he decided to text me first. we talked for about 5 mins then he fell asleep. now he hasn’t texted back yet

ReplyMarch 10, 2016, 11:47 am


I wouldn’t worry about it. If you guys talked a lot and he hasn’t replied in a few hours then he probably forgot. I know it sucks and hurts a little but we girls can’t over obsess about a guy who won’t take time to be with us.

ReplyApril 6, 2016, 12:03 am


To Ashley: Sounds like he’s just careless about his texting habits. If he enjoys spending time with you in person, I wouldn’t worry a lot about the Snapchat messages, especially since you are best friends on there. Unless he becomes completely unreliable, as in never texts you when he says he will and doesn’t text back for hours or days, I would say don’t stress.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 10:55 am


Met this guy a year ago. We hit it off very well. At the beginning our communication was strong and intense. Unfortunately it’s a long distance relationship, so after a few months his focus started to change from me to his work. We became more distance towards each other. Sense then we have had a more on and off interaction. At the moment we are on. That makes me very happy but not satisfied because I know Our communicating will stop at one point. All this makes me wonder if it is worth continuing? What am I gaining from this? THANKS for your help ????

ReplyMarch 8, 2016, 1:49 pm


To Sophia: I know long distance is hard, and I’m sorry you’re upset about it. Here’s the thing. Long distance is usually only a temporary thing. It’s just a substitute for being together in person. I would say if you’re just doing this until you can meet in person (if you haven’t already) and be in the same place, it’s fine to continue. Just know there will be times where he can’t always talk a lot. If you have only ever talked online, have never met in person, and you don’t know if you ever will (as in you don’t know if one or the other of you can move to be together), it’s probably best to just remain friends. Internet relationships are no substitute for being together in real life. If you decide to visit each other or one of you moves near the other, great. But don’t base your life around this guy.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:01 am


I Have Been Working With This Guy For About 4 Months && We Have Gotten Really Close. We Started Out Just Going On Break Together && We Talk About Everything Then We Started Texting A Few Times A Week Outside Of Work. A Few Weeks Ago After Working Together One Night He Texted Me && After That We Were Texting From The Time We Woke Up Until The Time We Went To Sleep. Last Week He Even Started To Call Me && We Stayed On The Phone For Hours. I Went To His House A Few Days Ago We Went Out To Eat Watched A Few Movies && Yes We Did End Up Having Sex. I’m Going Through A lot With My Daughters Father Who Is Abusive. I Texted The Guy From Work && Told Him He Should Just Stop Talking To Me Because My Child’s Father Would Never Leave Me Alone. When He Asked About It I Told Him How I Felt About Him But He Never Responded To Me Telling Him I Liked Him More Than A Friend && I Can’t Stop Talking To Him. We Still Go On Break Together But We Never Talk About Our Potential Relationship. I Get Off Work Before Him &’ Last Night He Came Out && Talked To Me For 30 Mins && We Hugged But He Hasn’t Txted Me At All Today. I Don’t Wanna Push Him. I Really Believe He Likes Me But I’m Not Really Sure Anymore What Should I Do?

ReplyMarch 7, 2016, 12:40 pm


To Savanna: If you are still in a relationship with your child’s father, you should end that (break up or file for divorce) before you start dating this guy. Even if he is a bad person, it’s still cheating and that puts blame on you too. If you are already apart and he won’t stop hurting you or your daughter, I would get a restraining order. He has no right to abuse you. Anyway, about the guy you like. The fact that he didn’t reply when you told him your feelings could mean a few things. He might feel awkward, he might not return the feelings and just see you as a close friend, or he might have wanted to wait until you got things sorted out with your child’s father before he made a move. I would say talk to him in person about it, not by text. Just simply ask him how he feels. Hope this helps :)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:08 am


I have been seeing this guy every week for about 3 months. I really like him but I am starting to think he doesn’t feel the same. We don’t txt much between dates but sometimes when I txt him he takes days to respond. We met up last weekend and had a good time, or at least I did and he seemed to as well. Then I txt him mid week to ask if he wanted to go out this weekend but no response (3 days and it is now the day I suggested). Initiating plans has been about 50/50 so far. Before our last date he went away for two weeks and he txt me saying he missed me and was looking forward to getting back and seeing me. But now silence. Should I cut him off? If so, how do I do it? I would prefer to say something rather than just waiting to see if he txts, for my own closure. Any advice is much appreciated! :)

ReplyFebruary 20, 2016, 7:52 am


Cut him off. How hard that even may be, do it for yourself. If he does not have the respect to send you an answer to a very natural and normal question than he is not worth your time (and respect). You can only win (him) by doing so. Make him work for it too. It is not a one way street.

ReplyMarch 2, 2016, 10:48 am


To Helen: Since this guy seems to have a good time with you in person, and he made an effort to tell you he missed you on his trip, it may be that he just doesn’t like texting. But it would be polite of him to let you know so you don’t text him and then sit there waiting for a reply. Like I said to many other women–if he doesn’t reply when you try to make plans, go hang out with someone else. You don’t need to wait around for him. If he really likes you, he will reply more.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:14 am


So i have been dating this boy for 8months on the 15th. Two months ago he started getting more distant with me. He barley texted me and barley called. And when i told him when i was sad he assumed i was pouting or in a pissy mood. He used to b there for me no matter what. I asked if he loved me still and cared about me still. But when he replied he said he did. I had his fb password and he didnt know. And he was texting my friend saying he didnt love me anymore. But when i asked him about it he said that it wasnt true that he was “just mad.” I stoped asking if he liked me and stoped asking if he cared about me because he would just get mad when i asked. I called him the other day and he finaly answer and he said i was “boring.” Thats why he wasnt texting me. And i see that hes not texting other girls so i dont think he likes someone else. Its just feels hes dont want me anymore. Or like me anymore. He dont call me just to have sex… I dont think. But hes been being distant forever now and i just stoped texting him all together. To wait for him to text me. What do i do?

ReplyFebruary 12, 2016, 12:52 pm


To Alyssa: I think you did the right thing by not texting him anymore. However, I think you should just end the relationship altogether. There is too much drama in your relationship for it to be healthy. And him being rude to you, even if he thinks you’re “boring” or needy; that doesn’t validate his behavior. Just end it before it gets worse.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:19 am


So, i met this guy through the site omegle. You can say that his this rare of a kind guy. But he told me that his not ready yet to enter in a relationship, its no big deal to me cause I know the reason why. Weve been texting each other for sometime. The way he text me is sweet and all. Everytime he got out of work he texted me then well start a conversation, he’d tell me how much he misses me through the day, he’ll always find a topic so we won’t stop texting each other till 3 am in the morning. But last time we texted, he asked me if who’s my crush, so i told him , it was him. He said his kinda flattered cause i like him, then after exchanging a few texts he told me that he is going to sleep cause he have a headache. So i told him good night. Then the next day he didnt text or call. Its been 8 days since he texted me and it got me worried that he’ll not gonna communicate with me again. So, what should I do?? Any advice??

ReplyFebruary 10, 2016, 6:45 pm


Hey Jelyn, i don’t know about your current situation but i think that it’s reasonable to give two weeks then if he responds politely ask him what happened. If he hasn’t responded just simply text him asking if he is ok.

ReplyApril 24, 2016, 9:13 pm


To Jelyn: You said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but he also might not have been ready for one with you. The fact that he asked who your crush is shows that he couldn’t even tell you were interested. And the fact that he stopped texting you shows he probably got scared off. Whether he’s not ready to date or he doesn’t want to date you specifically, he is still not going to be with you in either situation, so I say just move on for now.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:23 am


I met this amazing guy and we hit it off right away. He started making plans about our future right on the first date. Talking about going to museums and San Fransisco and how he thought I must have been made for him He was really intent on me We hung out all week and he responded to my texts and calls regularly. Then he told me he “had a lot on his plate” and after that nothing. We both caught the same cold and I haven’t heard anything all week. He will send me the occasional 4 word test and then nothing. I have been sending him about 1 text per day. He finally responded and said we should make plans, but when I told him when I was available I got nothing. I keep texting him ( one or two texts I don’t want him to think I am nuts). I also haven’t asked him why, but I got sick last week from his cold and I was sent to the hospital. They recomended I give him a call to see if he was having similar symptoms and I got no reply. I told him I was a little mad that I could not reach him when I actually needed info. Still nothing. What should I do? Should I just give up?

ReplyFebruary 8, 2016, 11:57 pm


To Tumbleweeds: Nice name! Sounds like that’s what’s rolling across your phone screen whenever you text him, because you’re getting nothing. It doesn’t make sense that he would act so invested in you after only a little while, but then just drop off the face of the Earth. I would say don’t text him every day hoping he’ll respond. Just do other things and make other plans. If he texts back, great. If not, it’s could be for a number of reasons. He said he had a “lot on his plate,” but he couldn’t have texted you at all when he was out sick for a week? He acts like he really wants to hang out with you, but if he can’t be bothered to reply, don’t hang around waiting.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 11:29 am


Sometime ago I met a man and we went on a date which ended up being very good. We didn’t have a repeat date due to a lack of communication. But recently we started texting and calling again. A few days ago I decided to take the lead and ask him out. He didn’t respond initially but it was in the middle of the workday and I didn’t expect it. When he did respond, he asked for more details and then he said he was getting ready to head to a farewell party. I texted the details and told him to let me know. After his party he contacted me and we chatted for a while. That was last night and my invite was for today. I didn’t ask about my invitation until he was getting ready to sign off. He said he was tired and going to head to bed and I responded by asking if you could let me know about the invitation before he signed off. I didn’t get an answer. So I told him to sleep well and let me know in the morning. It’s not late afternoon and I haven’t heard a word.

The plans I made the plans I was going to do by myself I thought I would invite him along. I am going to keep my plans.

I am not angry or pissed off. I am disappointed. I am always disappointed when people act rude or disrespectfully. Although there is a temptation to contact him and let him know how disappointed I am, I am not going to do that. If he contacts me I will respond and let him know that I am not interested in a relationship ( I am not delusional and thinking that he wants a relationship – he told me last night that he wanted us to see if there was the potential for more than friendship).

But when I tell him this I can almost guarantee what his response is going to be. There will be some sort of passive – aggressive excuse for why he didn’t respond to my invitation. When in fact all he needed to do was say he wasn’t interested or he was busy and I would not have gotten upset by the response. I am certain he will ask for another chance but he won’t get one and he will respond by saying that I am rigid or a bitch.

There is no winning. If you give somebody another chance then you are being a doormat and needy. If you set your boundaries and keep them then you are a rigid bitch.

All I can hope for is that I will meet someone who is respectful and thoughtful and is looking for someone just like him.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:04 pm


Don’t tell him you don’t want a relationship anymore. Just let him come up by himself with an excuse. Do not hand out an easy way in for him to make excuses. What if he doesn’t reply again, there you are again feeling discarded. It will boil up making your day worse and worse. Go out and get a lot of attention (just attention) from other guys to boost your ego. You need it to cope with this lousy one.

ReplyMarch 2, 2016, 11:07 am


To Lori: In the beginning of this explanation, you sounded pretty happy with the guy and the date and where it was going. But in the end you sounded very bitter about his behavior. I think you were right to stop talking to him. He may have said he wanted a relationship, but the timing of his not replying (like right when you tried to tell him something important), combined with the flaking on your plans and the seemingly negative way he treats you…I think it was best to nip this in the bud.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 5:23 pm


So you’re saying these bastard find me happy, then treat me like an option and expect me not to be pissed off, upset, frustrated, annoyed but expect me to continue to be happy?? Because it is my happy self that attracted them to begin with? Men are crazy. If happy me is aytractive, make sure you don’t mess that up and I’ll remain happy me. They come into people’s lives treating them in such ways that make you feel worthless, ignored do, less than yet they want you to not show you’re affected by their behavior but are happy???? Nah! I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life. When any man does not text me within a few hours I’ll just ignore and cut him off. If he does it once, he’ll do it again. I used to care about them to the point of giving a chance and making things work but after reading this it seems men read it as “needy”. Wow! I’ll never get men no matter how many books I read. They just don’t care and play too many games. They’re either into me or not, none of those riddles, hints and assumptions I can’t deal.

Example I had sex with this guy on sunday.. Monday I text we had fun. I told him in a joking way to take care as I had more plans for him, hint hint and I still haven’t heard from him in three weeks. Yet he is on fb posting. I did not say a word. I just removed him from my page. The end.
You mean I should not be hurt, angry and frustrated that he treated me like dirt, like I’m nothing? And removing him is a sign of neediness? Mind you I like the guy but what he did is rude, mean, unkind and disrespectful. That’s needy asking him to do better had he called me let’s say days later? Sigh. I’m done with men. And I wished 3 years to have sex but picked this bastard who made me feel so low and so stupid.

ReplyJanuary 18, 2016, 7:17 pm


LOL I agree with you although I am not as angry as you are. As I have posted, there seems to be no winning. If you give a guy a second chance or text him before he text you or call him before he calls you or however it is that you were communicating, then you are needy and a doormat. But if you set reasonable boundaries such as someone cannot treat you disrespectfully or with rudeness, then you are a bitch.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:25 pm


To Naima: Oh, you poor darling! It doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it? It often seems there aren’t my good guys out there at all. I don’t really like the concept of guys not liking “neediness.” There’s a difference between being upset that a guy never talks to you and being utterly needy, chasing after him and texting him all hours of the day. When a guy doesn’t text back for several hours when you can see him on Facebook, of course you get upset! I think you should take a break from dating and focus on you for a while. Let go of your bitterness and work on being the best version of you that you can be. Then get back into it. Take it slow with guys. (I would advise that you don’t have casual sex if you want a serious long term relationship.) And, don’t overthink it. The guy for you is out there, and he won’t leave you for being “needy.”

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 5:33 pm


I am currently seeing a guy for nearly four months and we go out from time to time . But when I text him just to say good morning he does not reply. He will ignore my message for two weeks and he never calls me. I always have to call him. I think its really unfair and I really want to know why he does it. Is it because he’s not into me or someone else has his attention?

ReplyJanuary 8, 2016, 6:41 am


“I have to call him.” No you don’t. You make a choice to call him but you don’t have to call him.

The honest answer is that it could be one thing or the other: he is either not into you or he is with someone else… Or both. In any case, he is treating you as an option. Do you want to be somebody’s option or do you want to be somebody’s priority?

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:28 pm


To Kathy: I actually completely agree with Lori here. There’s nothing else I can say.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 5:36 pm


My boyfriend and I have reconnected after 26 years apart. We live in different states. Over 4 months he promised me the world, professed his love for me. He announced he cannot wait to marry me. He was planning on moving to me and my children in the Midwest. Everything was fantastic until the holidays. New Years Eve we were to be together but was not. He texted after midnight saying Happy New Year! Moments later he said his holidays were horrible and he needed some time to think. He said it has nothing to do with us, only about something happening there and for me to please understand. It has been a week and nothing is different. He hasnt called in a week but still texts he loves me at bedtime 5 of 7 nights. When he texts he still calls me babe. I have NO idea what is happening as he will nit sgare, only keeps saying he needs time to sort things out or time to work on things there. It is hurting me deeply!!! I’m scared he is second guessing things. I don’t like how him not caring about my feelings in this . We are in a relationship, shouldn’t he care about me too? And comfort me, reassure me regardless of the silence. I’m lucky if I hear from him once a day. It’s hard when I don’t know what’s going on, the silence is brutal… I feel like it’s about us/me regardless of what he says solely based on near null interactions. Help!!! What do I say? How can I fix this? Is there anything I can do? I’d prefer to have him involved if I were stressed, clearly he’s not that way. I want our lives back to normal and together. I love him completely and I’m trying to give him time/space but it’s hurting me in the process. I drempt of it last night and awoke myself from crying at 430am. It’s brutal on me too.

ReplyJanuary 7, 2016, 12:15 pm


What else do you have going on in your life besides him? I hope there is a lot. I hope you have some goals and dreams that you want to fulfill that do not include him. If you don’t have any goals or dreams, get some. Get some that do not include him and go after them. Quit worrying about him. Let him take care of himself and while you are working on your dreams and goals, think about whether not you want someone in your life who thinks that it’s OK just to text you once a day to say he loves you. That is not love.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:31 pm


To Josephine: Okay, I don’t agree with Lori on this one. The thing is, there could be a lot of things going on with him and a lot of reasons why he’s acting this way, since he didn’t specify. And I understand that you’re hurt because he promised he would be with you. But I have to tell you straight out: you have it better than a lot of the other women in these comments. At least he texts you every day saying he loves you, despite whatever stuff he’s dealing with. Some of these women’s boyfriends are sitting on their phones all day and they still don’t reply. I think the best thing for you to do is ask him what is going on, and if you can help. The best way to help might be your support, and if you’re going to be his wife, he’s going to have to learn to talk to you about whatever is going on in his life. If he doesn’t want to tell you or doesn’t reply, it may involve someone else–or he might just not be that into you. Or, if the behavior continues, he might not even be ready for a relationship right now. If that’s the case, you can support him, but you cannot marry him unless he can talk to you. He also should deal with the issue first. You deserve someone who is well enough to be totally into you, and hopefully he will be. Good luck!

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 5:59 pm


So I’ve been seeing this guy (we’ve known eachother for 10 years) we’d hungout out plenty of times over the years as strictly just friends then decided we really cared about eachother and made it official. He works out of state so we only get to see eachother on the weekends. Lately he doesn’t respond back to texts as frequently as he used to. He’ll say how he’s driving or he was sleeping when i brought up “oh what have you been up too”. Recently something happened and we got into an argument, i made it very clear i wasn’t ok with something he did and it wasn’t worth it to me to stick around if he was going to do it again. He refused to apologize, instead i got: “what’s the big deal”. Then he said he wasn’t going to apologize through a text, just in person. We hungout that night. He never said sorry and actually meant it! He said, what’s the big deal, i mean really. (Our problem was regarding sex.) He said, “its just sex”, “i care more when we go places together” that night didn’t end well (he’d been drinking and was just being stupid) after that he didn’t text/call for 2 days. Eventually i caved and said “you’re really ok without me?” he said “not at all” I’m so confused here. Seems as though he’s sending me mixed signals. He tells me he loves me that i make him happy and he hates when i leave and that’s never going to change. But why do i still get the feeling he’s not “in this” with me. He’d text more right? Wouldn’t ignore me for hours to day drink and nap!? Am i right? Please respond back because this is driving me nuts.

ReplyJanuary 7, 2016, 9:22 am


When you were together, what do you do? Is most of your time spent in the bedroom? Do you make plans for the future about when you won’t be together just on the weekend? Are you planning any kind of long vacation together?

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:33 pm


Sorry, I submitted before I was done.

If all you do when you get together on the weekends is have sex and maybe grab a bite to eat, then you have what I would call a standing booty weekend relationship. Not really even a FWB because he’s not being a friend. The friend will do things with you.

His needs are getting met. He wants to have sex with you but he doesn’t want the rest of what is involved in a relationship including keep in contact or creating memories. Is that what you want? I assume that’s not what you want. I assume you want a complete relationship. So you need to tell this guy that you don’t want his apologies you want action. You want him to spend time with you outside the bedroom. If he’s not able to do that, that’s OK. It doesn’t make him a demon. It just means you want different things. So you accept it and… As I love to say… move on.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:37 pm


To Vee: Yes, I agree with Lori here. It’s not even really about the texting. It’s about him refusing to apologize when you said you weren’t okay with something. I’m not saying he doesn’t care. But he doesn’t do a great job of it. If the two of you aren’t able to work out your differences in a mature way, this probably isn’t going to last for the long run. (Combine that with the fact that he might just see you as a booty call. I’m sorry, Vee. But some guys are like that.)

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 6:07 pm


So I’ve been seeing this guy (we’ve known eachother for 10 years) we’d hungout out plenty of times as just friends then

ReplyJanuary 7, 2016, 9:06 am


*** Last summer I met a guy during a Catholic youth conference. He was just about to start college after being homed schooled, while I was going back to high school in the fall. During the conference we just met and never really talked, however we started talking over facebook during the summer and it has continued for 7 months even though we are 3000 miles apart.
At first we would talk all day, every day and we would respond within minutes of each other. Over the months the responses have gotten longer (like several paragraphs longer) but it takes him at least a week to respond. However our conversations are very rich and deep, but I have never told him how much the wait bothers me. I just respond to whatever he is telling me so I don’t come out as clingy, even if it is a week and a half later.
Does this mean he lost interest in the conversation and he is just trying to be nice by carrying it on? Or is it just because it takes awhile to type the length of response?
You have to know something first about him and I. I am extremely mature for my age and I even look older than I actually am. He is also mature, but my maturity makes up for my age, so we balance out. Is it because I am in High School, that he is so late to respond?
He has told me that we will see each other at the conference again this summer. He said even though it is for youth, he will go as a chaperone. This makes me feel like he is excited to see me and that he is interested and this will be the first time we will see each other in a year by that time. I am just scared that our conversation will die out by then.
It feels like I am holding on by a thread. I want to say something so bad, but I am scared that he doesn’t feel the same way I do. I have all these doubts and I just want to feel something different then confusion, even if it is something I don’t want to hear. Please answers these questions honestly. I am really over feeling lethargic about the whole situation. I just need someone else’s opinion. ***

P.S. – To try to relieve some of this doubt I hacked my own facebook account to see who has been viewing my profile. The facebook ID are in order from most recent to latest, but it doesn’t give me anytime general time span before the data renews itself. The data is ever changing, however each time I check, his ID has shown up more than two times, so I know he has kept tabs on me. Each time I check, I see that the range of the times he has viewed my profile is from 2 to 4 times. Just a another important piece of information.

ReplyJanuary 7, 2016, 4:57 am


How old is he? Oh and please tell me how you can see how many times someone views your profile! Lol

ReplyJanuary 7, 2016, 9:39 am


I would also like to know how you did this because Facebook has addressed this question in its Help Center, saying “Facebook does not provide a functionality that enables you to track who is viewing your profile.”

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:17 pm


To Ashley: I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to date someone in college. You may be mature, but those types of relationships often don’t work out. Anyway, I think you should just ask him about his texting habits when you see him in person. It doesn’t seem like you’ve brought it up with him by text, so you could just casually mention it. He could have just been busy. If he really wants to be with you, he’ll talk to you more often if he knows it bothers you that he doesn’t. However, you have to be aware that he may not be texting you just because he’s with someone else. It may not be true! But don’t live your life based on this one guy.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 6:14 pm


I have a guy called Hayden which we have been friends with benefits for a few weeks
We flirt, he said he likes me but I don’t know if he ment I’m a crush
He sends me mixed signals, which makes me confused on if he likes me more then just a friend.
We went out clubbing with friends and he got jealous when I kissed a guy
And the next day I asked him what he thought of me by text, he said wouldn’t I like to know.
And then said his going to bed, I’ve been waiting for 4 days with no reply
I don’t know if I should play hard to get or message him just casually and pretend I said nothing?

ReplyJanuary 5, 2016, 1:18 am


What do you want? You said you are FWB. Is that what you want or do you want something more? The way I view FWB is I look at it the way I would my friendships with women. Namely, how often do I get together with my female friends? Do I get upset when I don’t hear from my friends for a few days? Not usually. They are probably busy with their lives just as I am busy with mine. I don’t take personal offense when I text them and I don’t hear back for a few days or even a week. If I don’t hear back and it is an usual amount of time for them, I will call or text to make sure they are OK but without any expectations from them.

In my opinion, a FWB should be viewed exactly the same way. You get together when you can. You’re not in a committed relationship with this person. A true FWB means that most of the time when you get together it’s for sex. Sometimes you might have dinner together or go to a movie or do something else the both of you have an interest in. But the focus is on the sex. Is that OK with you? I am getting from your post that it’s not OK with you and you would like to have something more. If that’s the case, you need to communicate that with him. If that’s not the case and you want to have a FWB then I don’t think you are reasonable and expecting him to contact you with regularity.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:43 pm


To Belinda: The thing is, oftentimes guys wants FWBs for casual sex and the girl does it, hoping it’ll turn into something more. But just because he got jealous that you kissed another guy, doesn’t mean he likes you. It could mean he doesn’t want some other guy touching his squeeze. He doesn’t seem eager to commit to you, and I would say if you want a real relationship, say bye to this guy.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 6:19 pm


Im 41married with kids and had a one night stand with a 30 year old single guy. He lives in another state and have been sexting and video calling for the past month. We exchange photos and messsges almost daily during the week but weekends he tends to go off the grid. He says he doesn’t have a girlfriend I know he has been away a couple of weekends. This past thursday we had a video session and on friday I sent him a nude pic. He has not responded. So I sent him a message today saying he was a shit head for no responding and he laughed and said calm down its ok.thats it nothing else. I dont want to respond but would like an explanation. I am due to visit him in a week.

ReplyJanuary 3, 2016, 3:32 am


Could of cut you of because your not Classy… he found out your married and got turned off my it. And wants a women not a cheating hoe.

ReplyJanuary 23, 2016, 10:18 pm


Seriously? You “want an answer” from the man you had a one night stand with while cheating on your husband? Here’s the reason: he was curious about having sex with an older woman, was amused by you but has something else going on that’s better.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 3:21 pm


To Tracey: I know I’m a few months late, but if you are still messaging this guy, cut it off now. You’d think as a wife and mother, you’d be more mature than that. You do realize you’re breaking your vows, setting a bad example for your children, and also just defiling basic human decency? No one deserves to be cheated on, and it’s not this guy’s behavior you should be worried about. It’s your own.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 6:24 pm

Wendy Major

Hi I have a problem that maybe you can help me with. Iam in a complicated relationship I guess lol I been seeing this guy since September and he is living with his ex they just had a baby in November and they don’t want to tell tell their friends or family Intel he gets done with school cause they don’t want the family drama and friend drama. I havnt talked to him since last Wensday on the 24th of December so it’s been a week and going on three days. When I went to see him he told me the reason why he hasn’t been talking to me the past week is because he is leaving for school on the 9th and that he has to barrow money from his grandparents and ex to go to school he had to sell his four wheeler and bike to finish paying to go to school he already did a down payment for school and doesn’t want to end up calling and saying he can’t go and he is fixing up his suburban to be able to to go to school since his truck broke and he has to get tags and plates on his suburban as well. I don’t text him much at all I just text him to let him no Iam here for support and that we can get threw it together. And plus Iam confused on what he means by Iam his but no offically we have to keep it a secret cause he doesn’t want anybody to no Intel after he is done with school and he dosent want to put a name on us. I need some really good advise from you I need your help!!!!

ReplyJanuary 2, 2016, 5:17 pm


Hey so there a guy that i meet thru a friend he like he but i had a boyfriend when i broke up with my boyfriend me and my friend were hanging out and she hit him up to come then we were talking getting to know each other we were drinking after that day i started noticing him but i felt like he wasn’t into me i hanged out with my ex and posted a pic with him and he saw it and told my friend how that f*cked up and am playing games after that i hit him up and he invited me to a party i went than he was acting a little saddy because i took my friend and she took a guy who was feeling me but i got away from him and went with him homie who my homie than he went and started talking to me saying who that your guy and when i told him he was my friend homie he started being all cute we left the party and that was all i wanted to be with him so i hit him up to come thru then he did we started talking making out and he didn’t leave into the next day he was being cute but after that he never hit me up again

ReplyDecember 21, 2015, 5:23 pm


To Ashley: If you talk like this with this guy you like, I think I know exactly why he doesn’t want to talk to you–no one can figure out what you’re saying! What I got from that was a friend introduced you to a guy, but you had a boyfriend. After you broke up with him, you were hanging out with the guy and your friend, and you didn’t think he liked you so you hung out with your ex. He got tired of your mixed signals so he gave up, but then you hooked up at a party. Since then you haven’t heard from him. What could have happened is either he’s only interested in the physical, or he believes you’re not actually interested. But you should worry about how to compose a sentence before you worry about this guy.

ReplyJuly 16, 2016, 8:52 pm


so heres my problem. Well, its not really a problem, more of a worry really. So me and my boyfriend recently got together(about a month ago) while we were in a play together about a month ago but i’ve known him before that because he was also in my theater class. We hit it off well, he was the one who came out and declared his feelings for me. We hung out and talked for the most part. He has two jobs and he went to school, i really admire that in him. His drive and his dedication. But anyway, about a week after we striked the play he has been really involved with work and he has actually missed a couple of classes. I worry about him that he works to much and he is not really focused on himself. Also (this is what worries me) we have not hung out or talked for….. a while now. He does not reply to my text, every time I AM with him I ask if he wants to meet up and he always says he has work. I know and understand that he is busy and I accept that. I keep the txting to a minimum because I know that he is busy. I also do not want to seem needy, because im not. I usually just txt when I think he is free and still, he does not reply. But the thing is, I dont keep on txting him, I dont txt him long why-are-you-not-txting-me-back messages. I just wish he actually made an effort to at least txt me back once n a while, or made an effort to see me. I just need advice on what I should do about this. Do I confront him about it? Should I tell him how I feel? I really want to work things out with him, I really do not want to loose him. Any advice, I would be grateful for!!

ReplyDecember 13, 2015, 6:26 pm


To Kama: I understand your worries. From the way you phrased this, you could be in college or have recently graduated. And what you should do kind of depends on where he is as well. If him working all the time and being constantly too busy to spend time with you/text back is something that is just a result of his jobs, that’s not really okay. You need quality time together. However, if these jobs are to put himself through school, it is likely a temporary thing. I say if possible, try to meet with him in person and discuss your concerns. If he ridicules or gets angry with you for being upset and missing him, or acts as if his work is significantly more important than you or your needs, I say just let him go. It’s not going to be worth it in the long run to date a guy who values his job above you.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 11:35 am


Disable text messaging on your phone. This forces them to communicate on your terms. My terms are, a brief phone call once or twice a week, for the sole purpose of arranging to meet. As an INTJ female, I have met with a lot of needy men who either text too much, and a lot of passive-aggressive men who punish by not texting back in a timely manner. Disabling text, cuts this behavior off at the knees.

ReplyNovember 23, 2015, 10:20 pm


thats ridiculous. no one calls these days

ReplyDecember 23, 2015, 5:45 am


Sophie, quality men DO still call these days. Notice I said quality. And in the pre-relationship stage, they do not even want or expect women to initiate contact, at all. If a man only texts you, he is not into you. End of.

ReplyJanuary 9, 2017, 4:10 am


Ok so I have been sleeping with this guy I really like for about 2 and half months. This entire time we text almost everyday and we both start the conversations first. Well I freaked out and tried to end it bc he was seeing someone else I then told him that I was sorry I overrated and he said we were good and he totally understood and we hung out again a few days later well now it’s been 2 and half weeks since we hung out which we normally hung out at least once a week and now I haven’t heard from him in 3 days I’ve been waiting for him to come to me but I wasn’t sure if I should text him or not he seems like he really likes me and even told me the last time we hung out one of the reason he likes me is bc I understand him well already…. Ugh what should I do please help! We get each other’s sense of humor and make each other laugh all the time!

ReplyNovember 18, 2015, 2:59 pm


So I broke down yesterday and texted him hey he responded with hey!! We talked I didn’t say anything about him not texting me or seeing me but he told me the past two weeks he had been working a lot which his job is very physical. I just don’t want to try with him if he is done with me and is just talking to me to be nice. I really like him and thought he really liked me. I’m just really confused and wondering if I should be patient and wait on him to text me or should I keep trying?? I would really appreciate someone’s advice because I’ve never been in this type of situation!!

ReplyNovember 19, 2015, 9:27 pm


People make time for what matters to them. Even if they are busy with work. How long does a text take? You can do it during a bathroom break. If he’s not contacting you, he’s not interested. Move on. You deserve better.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 3:26 pm


To Brittany: I think you should just let this guy go. Even if you guys were just sleeping together, not dating, he was seeing someone else while that was happening and did not inform you. That means he was cheating on his girlfriend, and disrespecting you. You have a right to more than just a FWB situation. But this is probably not the guy to do it with.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 11:39 am


Hi Eric, I’ve been seeing a guy for about a little over a month and he hasn’t texted me in a week. This is the second time this has happened. The first time it took 5 days for him to respond to me, and he claimed that he didn’t see my text(I didn’t ask why he didn’t respond, and I’m not convinced). This time, I am on day 8 and still waiting. The last time I heard from him was when I saw him in person. I worry that I was too available and he may think that he doesn’t have to put forth effort to maintain me. He is incredibly busy, working two jobs on the weekends, and I get the impression that he isn’t big on texting unless it is making plans to see me.
I’ve really tried to hold out until he texts me first, but I do plan on texting him if I don’t hear from him this week. What should I say?

ReplyNovember 18, 2015, 2:42 pm


if he’s really into you, doesn’t matter who texts first. But it seems like he’s a very busy man and tired one at the end of the day? So I’d wait until he texts first. Meanwhile don’t wait for his text though… don’t check your phone every minute! you gotta be strong on this. Next time you see him be honest ” you know i wanted to text you to see how you were doin’ but i know you’re very busy and tired probably… didn’t wanna bother ya so hope you understand if you were expecting a text from me.”

ReplyNovember 19, 2015, 6:41 am


Why would you text him? Why would you wait for him to text you? I am very busy. I work full-time and I am also a student. But if someone is important to me I find a moment to text them at the very least. It doesn’t take very long. Anyone who is truly interested in you will find the time to contact you. The fact that he is not doing so should tell you something. Let it go and move on.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 3:29 pm


Which is better, take the time to “do you”? Or talk to him, how his lack of reply is bugging you? It’s a dilemma…

If you don’t speak up, you might appear to be a doormat.
If you speak up, you might appear needy.

ReplyNovember 18, 2015, 6:49 am

Eric Charles

There’s a third option… don’t hinge your plans on his texts.

If it’s a text to plan something and he doesn’t respond, proceed without him.

You ask what he wants for dinner, he doesn’t respond… choose yourself… or don’t make dinner.
You ask what he wants to do tonight and he doesn’t respond… you make other plans.
He says he’s going to text you later tonight and doesn’t… you turn off your phone and go to sleep.

He might not notice (that tells you something). He might notice and not like it (in which case he’ll make sure to respond to your texts).

ReplyNovember 18, 2015, 11:44 am


if you have to go to that extent he’s not into you

ReplyDecember 23, 2015, 5:50 am

Latoya Nance

To much for me doing all this trust and believe I have already lost interest to much work and effort on my part to get this type of guy ????

ReplyJanuary 16, 2016, 8:13 pm


If he doesn’t text, leave him. He’s busy and doesn’t have your time. Get busy with your life. A man who values you won’t ignore your texts. As you wait on him, he’s talking up another woman!

January 19, 2016, 5:46 pm


Okay, I haven been talking to this guy for a month. (we met online) He said he HATED texting and yet he would text me everyday like clock work. Even has called me on a couple of occasions and we’ve had a really great conversations. In the last week, his texts moved from happening at a specific time of day to them being earlier and going on through the whole day. Meaning he would text me at 8am instead of 4pm. So we went for a date this weekend and had a great time. We grabbed dinner and drinks and hung out for a little while (and kissed–but nothing like a massive big deal–first base stuff–barely) We discussed hanging out on Sunday and he said he would call me about it. Sunday comes around and I text him to see if he is still up for hanging out. He doesn’t say anything all day until 7pm saying that he went to a marathon in malibu. So basically blew me off and didn’t bother to tell me. And since then I haven’t heard a peep.

So my question is: Why would his behavior change? And why would he act interested for a straight month and then completely ignore me afterward. Even on the date he made it clear that he was interested–mentally and physically– so what the hell happened? And what should I do?

ReplyNovember 17, 2015, 12:00 pm


He’s obviously playing games with you or he’s a pathological liar? Either way you don’t need this kind of BS! Chalk one up for experience and move on….

ReplyNovember 19, 2015, 6:59 am


You are one of a number of options he had on Sunday. He chose something else. Do you want to be an option or do you want to be a priority? I seriously doubt he forgot that he asked if you wanted to do something. I would let it go and let him go.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:49 pm


I need advice,so I just met this guy gone out on couple of dates,he his really sweet and if I am being honest makes me smile everyday,we decided to focus on getting to know ourselves and stop going on dates with other people, he told me he his into me and bla bla but the issue is we v had to cancel like 3plans to meet up cause of his work well that’s what he said but anytime we cancel he definitely comes up to make another plan then comes through but I don’t know if I can keep up with him cancelling almost all the time then makes another one and expects me to be available!

ReplyNovember 12, 2015, 5:49 am


i think you’ve answered your own question: don’t be available next he changes the plan! You have to show him that you’re not a push over, and be honest with him… tell him all this cancelling and re-planing is kinda driving you crazy ( or words to that effect )! good luck

ReplyNovember 19, 2015, 6:53 am


I think this article is stupid. I dont think when someone ask for reply is thinking that the other person is her life mate would make his her life happy. Only think that texting need etiquette and simple response dont mean that the other person is needy, in only means that he or she want talk to you. I think this mindset of this type of articles are nonsense, and the people are more preocuppied about their fantasies and false presumptions about the other people than about reality of a love experience.

ReplyNovember 6, 2015, 12:59 pm

Eric Charles

What specifically do you think would be a better approach, Felipe?

If you have a better answer, we’d love to hear it.

ReplyNovember 6, 2015, 1:40 pm


Eric: I don’t think think the article is stupid. However, a lot of women don’t really understand the difference between being concerned because a guy doesn’t text back for days, and being “needy.” Then, of course, there are people with actual anxiety who text a lot simply because they get very worried. I wish you would talk about basic texting etiquette in this article. For example, if a guy does not care for texting except to make plans, he should tell the woman rather than just not responding. Or maybe you could include at what point should a woman just accept that a man ignores her texts because he is not into her. That would be more helpful than just saying men “hate neediness” and if you text them first or wonder why they won’t reply, they won’t like you. Thanks!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 11:48 am


Confuseddd af, It sounds to me like you have involved yourself with someone who is a social media guru. My advice is that you should just let it chill for awhile and see if he come to you. Maybe he just expects you to always be the one that will do all the work while he sits back and takes all the credit of not having to do anything, giving him an obvious extra ego boost. So get your ego boost and make him come to you. If he is sending you pics on snapchat and liking your pics on Facebook he is clearly interested. Just playing games is all. Girl you gotta play game right back at him and play it hard, sometimes thats how you win! Hope this helps!

ReplyNovember 1, 2015, 10:49 pm


To Star: I say if a guy is playing games with you that way, you should just stop playing. It’s not quitting. It’s saying, “I’m not going to be involved with a man that continues to mess with my head and my feelings, because I want a man who will just tell me how he feels straight out.” Playing his game just creates more confusion, and personally, I’d avoid it altogether.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 11:52 am


Hey girls , i need your help plzzzzzzzzzz !!!
i met a guy and i had the most perfet 3 days of my life with him i stayed with him , and afterthat i went back to his place for 2 days since we are not in the same city, but now he is leaving the countruy and come back next year !!
U cant imagine how i like him , i never felt that way with any body else im just ttto into him , but the probleme is we dont talk much , we dont text ! i mean i text him but he replay sometimes by 1 sentence so short and smt he dont idk what to do !!i dont want to push him away with my behavior !!!
Thanks girls

ReplyOctober 28, 2015, 2:32 am


To Sata: I’m sorry to say that this might have just been a fling. You didn’t specify why he was leaving the country, but if he wasn’t being ordered to (as in for his job, etc.) he probably wanted to, and went of his own free will. And the fact that he’s not calling or even texting you saying how much he misses you probably says all you need to know. A whole year?? Honey, if he was so into you, he wouldn’t want to be away from you for a month! He may have just said that he’d be back to keep your hopes up, and then dashed. You deserve better than that. Let’s hope the next guy you meet doesn’t literally move 5000 miles away from you!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 11:58 am


Hi! :)

Okay, so T and I dated for a bit a while back, and I recently ran into him so we started talking again. Now, when we first started texting he was quick to reply and would often text me first, but recently he’s taking hours (sometimes even days to respond) and sometimes it says he’s active on social media. I feel like he’s ignoring me or losing interest which sucks because I think I really like him again…

Should I just stop talking to him or confront him or….?!?! Please help!
Erin :)

ReplyOctober 28, 2015, 2:06 am


No matter what, do not confront him. Let him come to you, if he doesn’t well then your better off. You will walk away the winner and he will be the loser because he lost someone special. It seems to me that when a guy is on social media and he hasn’t responded to you and its been hours he clearly isn’t thinking about anything but the moment he is in, or maybe when you texted he was busy got distracted and just moved on to doing other things. Don’t take it personally its just the way the mind of the single man works. They all do it, so your not alone. Hope this helps!

ReplyNovember 1, 2015, 10:23 pm


I have a biggest doubt hear !
I have been dating this guy for 4 years now and you don’t believe that we have always been fighting for things! I accept the fact that even there are few of my mistakes as well as his! Now after so much of struggle fights and no communication days we are still together and just doesn’t understand his character/mentality even today! He made me a total insecure girl which I was never a one! We always fight for one simple and silly thing that is “FRIENDS” ! before he used to restrict me upon things like not to use social networking sites not to hang out with friends he used to be too possessive and with his type of behaviour even I started to suffocate him but the thing is now he no more does that! I even doubt whether he stalks me on social sites or no! even if he does he never asked me about anything but, he left the whole lot of his past behaviour in me and changed me totally into an insecure,nagging/clingy girlfriend which I was never indeed I hate to be one! The thing is I’ll always be ready to introduce him to anybody or everybody(friends or close cousins) but till date he never did that! If some of his friends knew about our relation that’s only because of me! We always ended up fighting for this because I at least expect him to upload a picture with me including me with his friends just like he does with his friends(girls) normally! So i started to stalk not only him but also all his friends who doesn’t even know me and you just don’t know how miserable I feel about this! Though they look nothing in front of me I feel jealous of them. I am going through this for the first time just because of this guy. I have told him so many times that this feeling of insecurity is killing me I am neither able to be with him or leave him! I am simply stuck in this relationship! when I leave him I miss him I feel like I want him though I was never happy and comfortable in it and when I be with him I feel like he has all the control over me and my emotions. When I recently asked him about this he says I am conservative my family friends or family members doesn’t accept all this they all know you and if i upload a picture then they’ll start to react which I don’t want. This was his genuine reason when I asked him that I want one. And coming to introduction to his friends he says he isn’t comfortable with people around us. And I don’t know whether its this feeling or something else which always knocks me down and keeps haunting me and i feel confused whether I am being too clingy or if he is being foolish and arrogant towards me or playing with me?! help me with your opinion please!

ReplyOctober 27, 2015, 10:33 am


This is what I’m hearing: he is a possessive controlling person who dictates how you should live your life. You think that demonstration that he is committed to you comes with him posting a picture of the two of you together on social media. I say stay with him. The two of you are perfectly suited for one another. SMH

Sorry, now that I have gotten over my incredulity about the silliness of your relationship, I will say this to you:

You don’t deserve to be in a relationship with a man who treats you like a possession, and not even one that he cares about a great deal. Lose him.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 4:55 pm

Breigh Walls

So glad I read this lol this article literally just stopped me from texting this guy about how he blatantly ignored my text and phone call . I never want to come off needy . I’m just a genuine person and always hope for people to be genuine with me so when he didn’t respond until this morning with a good morning text I was pissed because I know for a fact he wasn’t sleep. So thank you for this article and the other part about not making thing a routine . Im sure me ignoring him all day has him thinking like ” damn I thought I had her figured out ” nope I’m switching sh** up lol because the last thing I want is a man thinking he’s all I’m thinking about because that’s not true. I have my own life .

ReplyOctober 17, 2015, 12:25 am


I’ve been seeing or rather sleeping with a man I met on dating site for nearly seven months. I felt things change emotionally for me after about four months. I’ve been afraid to tell him how I feel for fear that he does not feel the same way which is that I want to be his girl exclusively. I drop subtle hints and he’s a bonehead if he doesn’t notice. We have much fun when we are together although it’s usually at 2am. I know. Don’t say it. But he sometimes answers my texts 8 hours later. Or not at all. He was very persistent in texting me every day since our first date. I want to tell him I’ve fallen for him but I’m afraid he’ll give me the boot when I do. He’s a blank page. He never tells me how he feels about me and when I tell him I’m crazy about him he says I’m silly. I don’t know how to proceed here. And it is stressing me out. Maybe he’s just taking advantage of my attachment for sex. I can’t figure it out.

ReplyOctober 4, 2015, 6:31 pm


Jenna, take it easy, I hope by now you have not made the decision to tell him how you feel. Guys like mystery and they like things to go slow only because if they have experienced bad relationships in the past ( which it seems they all have) they know what rushing into all the lovey dovey can do. They put walls up with their feelings before they ever start to date again, especially after they have been through a seriously damaged relationship. Now Im not saying don’t ever tell him how you feel, but I am saying try and bring yourself down from wanting to say something that could potentially scare him away, and maybe instead of blurting out how much you want him exclusively, ask him to go on dates and try and spend more social time with him then 2am time. Let him know who you are, not just who you are when your sleeping together. This could actually condition his mind into believing that this is all the relationship is worth. Hope this helps!

ReplyNovember 1, 2015, 10:35 pm


Star is spot on… make him earn you like the scarce prize that you are… otherwise he will take you for granted….

ReplyNovember 19, 2015, 7:06 am


Are you guys kidding?
its been 7 months!!! if he wanted her to be his girlfriend she would be!

ReplyDecember 23, 2015, 5:58 am


To Jenna: I have to agree with Sophie here. If you guys still aren’t even dating at this point, and you’ve told him how you feel and he actively ridicules/ ignores those feelings, it’s time to let him go. Sex is a very important, intimate experience that shouldn’t be shared with some guy that can’t even call you his girlfriend. He’s so not into you that it’s not even funny. Don’t wait around trying to get him to want more. Just cut it off, ASAP.

July 17, 2016, 12:08 pm


Wait. You tell him you’re crazy about him and he tells you your silly? I think you have your answer right there. You say you can’t figure it out but I think you have. You started the relationship by being sexual only and he’s happy with that. Things changed for you ( which by the way, they were bound to do because of a thing called Pitocin but I won’t go into that here). You were OK with it just being sex but now you have developed feelings.

Why continue to tell yourself up in knots about this? Hunter better things to be devoting your energy to? Tell him very matter-of-factly how you feel. Tell him that you were happy with it being only sexual in the beginning but you have developed feelings and you would like to pursue more. Tell him you understand if he doesn’t feel the same way but that you can’t continue with things the way they are.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 5:01 pm


Personally, I think it’s crap. My guy an I have known each other, been bff, I’m close with his 5yr old daughter and his mom. He knows all of my children. And has relationships with them. They’ve confided in him. My oldest grandson has known him his entire life. 6yrs. My other grandson 3, knows him. We have been intimate all these yrs. Now all if a sudden he gets to get off by reason of my neediness? I don’t roll like that. We sleeping together. Have mutual family relationships. Either you are in the relationship or you aren’t. One thing I cannot deal with well is being ignored. He knows this. Therefore when I blow up his phone, he knows its coming. Period. Just as I’m knowin’ when I do that he’d gonna keep ignoring me, as well as yell at me in frustration, once or twice. He has cheated on me. Left me without breaking up last year. That girl cheated an worse. He came back to me. So, it’s a HUGE no go, on the ignoring me. I’m telling him to his face tomorrow that I’m good with he can ‘keep on keepin’ on’. It is devastating. My anxiety is out of control. Lack if sleep. Loss appetite. And he’s my ‘forever love’. Not even God knows me as well as he does. So it is beyond everything in me to do this, however, I’ve no choice. I love me, and obviously he doesn’t.
Bottom line: Yes, both parties are due some free time. However, being rude an selfish is unacceptable. Showsome respect. Period.

ReplyOctober 2, 2015, 5:47 am


He cheating on you but he is your “forever love?”

You talk about respect but I don’t think you respect yourself if you would allow someone like that back in your life. I get that you have known each other for a long time and your family is interconnected. So be friends with him but I wouldn’t have a romantic relationship with someone like that

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 5:05 pm


I fancied a co worker for months but left the job a few months ago. Recently I was in a bar and he was there with his friends too. He approached me and we were chatting. His friends and him followed us to the next bar we went to. He ended up staying the night with me. He said he used to fancy me in work too,and I said I had a good time with him and he said we could do it again. He text me the day afte, he sends short texts but replies quickly. We text for a couple of days and he added me on snapchat a few days later. I text him last week and he replied quickly. But he hasn’t text me first in a week. I would like to see him again but not sure whats going on. I don’t want to constantly chase, I have given him space to text me, especially after I have been initiating. Help!

ReplySeptember 30, 2015, 4:14 pm


Stop initiating and see what happens. If he doesn’t contact you then you have your answer and it’s time to move on.

ReplyJanuary 30, 2016, 5:08 pm


I like this article very useful. I have had a guy in my life since May 2015 he works nights and seems to have a lot going on and I have been frustrated. I can and do get on with own life but would prefer a guy to step up or step out rather than be in a limbo state. Recently I told him to forget it as he couldn’t seem to see when he could fit me in, he text me back 2 weeks later to say “miss you” I have said I want once a week to in terms of dating and making it worth my while. I want to be understanding but he is the one indicating he wants a long terms relationship with little time it appears to put into one!!
Thoughts useful ?

ReplySeptember 18, 2015, 2:41 am


thank you!

ReplySeptember 17, 2015, 1:41 pm


I’ve been dating a guy for a 2 1/2, the first 3 weeks he was over all the time, texting spending time with my family. I did tell him that I think I’m falling for him and that’s when I noticed a change. He started texting less and making plans. I was the one texting and making plans. I thought about it and decided to send him a text asking for his help. I told him what love means to me and what I expect out of relationship, I would give back the same. I told him I was struggling with myself, because I know what I want ( him), but am not sure what he wants. He said he didn’t know either and is struggling with it. I asked him how? He said if he knew it wouldn’t be a struggle. I asked weredo we go from here? He said good question…. I said communication is good and I he said he’s being honest here. I apologized that I didn’t mean right now, I meant in future. I asked if there’s nothing I can do , he said unfortunately not , he should have an answer for me, but he’s been busy. He said he’ll figure it out, sorry if I’m causing you any pain. That I’m great, & didn’t intend any harm. I said I was worried and concerned about us . It sounds like you need time, so time you will get. He did not respond back to that. I did stop by and took him lunch, I wanted to read his vibe. What’s your imput? It’s been a week and I haven’t heard a thing. I did send him a text : May you start this new day with your beautiful smile and happiness. I did not get a response, wasn’t expecting one. Though I am disappointed.

ReplySeptember 16, 2015, 4:00 pm


To Mara: I’m sorry, I know it’s been almost a year and you might not even know this guy anymore. However, I still like to try to help if I can. I think you probably scared this guy off by telling him your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with how you felt. It’s just that he probably wasn’t expecting it and either didn’t feel the same or wasn’t ready for a relationship, so he acted like he needed time to think and then just bailed. If he felt the same, he wouldn’t have had to “figure it out.” He would have tried to pursue the relationship. If you’re still making contact with this guy, I would just end it and look somewhere else for love.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:15 pm


Follow up to Mara: Okay, I reread your message and realized it said you were dating this guy already. Sorry for the misunderstanding. But, in my opinion, that makes this even worse because he, as your boyfriend, wasn’t even willing to make a better effort when he knew the lack of communication made you upset. So my advice is still the same. Find a guy that respects you.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:23 pm

Horgondia abbas

I like someone in facebook but he is unknown to me i send him freindrequest and also message but he regect my freind request i send him message but he doesnot response on it i am a beautiful girl.plz give me some tips so that he will become my freind plz

ReplySeptember 8, 2015, 11:44 am


So long story short my coworkers set me up with one of our customers and one if their old time friends who I would see everyday and we would make small talk and what not. Well he finally asked me out, we would text about everyday and went out for dinner and had a great time. Continued the texting for about a week, and he is not the greatest texter and has admitted it, which is fine.we went out again and had a great time told him I like hanging out with him and he told me the same. He texted me the morning after had a small conversation and then I texted him the next day asking how his day was….again short conversation and it ended with my text. Now I haven’t heard from him or seen him at work for a week, which I can’t tell if it’s weird or someone is really just that busy for a week, which I get. But my problem is…nothing happened red flag wise for us to stop talking and I don’t know if I should wait for him to start a conversation again or if I should just grow some balls and ask how everythings going or how his weekend was. I don’t know if that comes off clingy or if not talking for a week should be me taking a hint or if I’m generally just thinking way too much into this.

ReplyAugust 31, 2015, 5:28 pm


To K: If you have a good time when you see each other, and he’s admitted he’s not the greatest texter, I wouldn’t worry too much. But if you find you’re always the one reaching out, I would advise that you take a break from contacting him and see if he makes an effort to continue texting you.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:26 pm


My bf of almost 4 years has not called back or returned my fb message for over a week. Last we spoke, I was supposed to uber to his place to attend his brother’s bday but couldn’t because I had to work over the weekend last minute. I noticed he was moody about me not being able to make it but he said, it’s fine, we’ll see each other next time. I offered to come on either Sat or Sunday but I needed to know his exact plans so that I could work my schedule around his. He didn’t have any exact plants at the moment (Friday before weekend) and said not to worry about it. Then I tried calling once but since my phone is defected, I assumed the call wasn’t going through. I messaged him on Tue letting him know that my phone got worse and that I can’t make phone calls. Fb shows he read the message but he did not respond. Now, he’s off in Canada, attending a wedding without me and Snapchat about it without sending me any of the Snapchat. Why is he acting like this?

ReplyAugust 29, 2015, 3:39 am


To Kelly: Sounds like someone’s ticked about you missing his brother’s birthday. If you apologized about it and offered to make it up to him, even if he was upset, that’s a fine way to make amends. But it seems that he’s still mad about it. What that tells me is he is holding a grudge against you for something that’s not really even your fault, and also being very immature about it by purposely reading but not replying to your texts and making sure you can see he’s having fun without you. Are those qualities you’d be okay with in someone you would want to marry? Probably not. Let go of this fussy baby and let some other woman change his diaper, because you’re not doing it for him.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:33 pm


So I am into my uncles friend which he is 32 and I’m 21. I don’t think age has anything to do with it. Okay so I do like him and he’s always on my mind and I always think about different things like how things would be if we were together and what not. But I text him and sometimes it’s like I feel unwanted or I feel like he’s not interested. I don’t like when guys beat around the bush. Like just be honest with me. I’m always the first to text him, he has text me first maybe twice. Then it was twice where he didn’t text me for like 2-3 days and I just think it’s me. Maybe I’m not pretty enough or I’m not good enough for him. Like I don’t know what to do ? Any advice. Should I just let him be or just be patient and see how things go and if they change?

ReplyAugust 23, 2015, 11:10 pm


One thing I have learned Ashley, Is that you have to believe that you are good enough and pretty enough. Don’t put yourself down any further. Once you realize and celebrate your great qualities, then you can focus on the guy’s characteristics, and you may find out he may not be good enough for you! The problem is, we try to make specific people be what we want them to be. When they don’t make that a reality, one can feel like they are not good enough, pretty enough, etc., when the real issue is you are hoping for a specific someone to give you the qualities you deserve, and when they don’t meet those expectations, you can’t take it as an opportunity to bash the great person you are. If they can’t take the time to invest in you, or even texting, then that’s a reflection on them, not you. If anyone doesn’t line up with what you value in a relationship, no matter how attractive the guy is, then even he is not worthy of you. That’s when you realize that HE isn’t good enough for you. Think about it, he is considering his personal needs by treating you as a convenience, which is his issue, so why can’t you consider you feelings by expecting someone to treat you in the manner you want to be treated. Consider your feelings too and not let his negative mindset towards a relationship, overshadow your positive feelings of a relationship. Love yourself first, so you can weed out the guys that doesn’t want to communicate with you properly. I’m also finding out even great looking people are not worth much, if their hearts aren’t right or are emotionally unstable. Therefore, overall, they really become unattractive. remember, you are good and pretty enough. Let him put up the effort in trying to communicate with you more. If he doesn’t, it’s his loss because you are pretty and good enough! You have to find the one that can appreciate the qualities that you ALREADY possess, instead of hoping to get appreciation from a guy who may have his own issues.

ReplyAugust 29, 2015, 11:46 am


Zoe, can I quote you? :D Thank you. Just thank you for this. If that happens to me in the future (= guy keeping me hanging on) I’ll try to remember what you wrote. Oh, and happy holidays!

ReplyDecember 21, 2015, 4:40 pm


To Ashley: I’m not saying all relationships where the guy is more than 10 years older than the girl don’t work out, but they often don’t. You said that he is your uncle’s friend. He may just see you as too young for him or feels uncomfortable with his friend’s young niece flirting with him. It’s probably not about how physically pretty you are. And if it is, why would you want a guy like that? I would forget about this guy and date someone closer to my age. Good luck!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:40 pm


With this texting topic, why would a guy, who said he likes you, responds to your text messages with support encouragement, doesn’t contact you when he gets back into b town but waits almost 2 weeks? Yes, we can assume he met someone else, as I did and let him go. But shows up and says he didn’t. His excuse: I was very busy. Texting is so easy to send a quick note saying just that if he thinks I am important. I want to see this guy but afraid of the possible games. Thoughts?

ReplyAugust 23, 2015, 9:16 pm


Same boat here. Said he lost his phone, still on a loan phone and will get the replacement phone the day after. 2 days later, still nothing. Said he got very busy.

ReplyAugust 27, 2015, 1:50 am


Dear Leigh and Janella: I know it’s often hard to tell if a guy really was as busy as he said and didn’t have a spare second to text, or if he’s just not into you. But I would have to say that if a guy really cared about you, he wouldn’t want to make you wait around wondering if he cared or not! And Leigh, there’s no specific time of not texting that tells you a guy doesn’t care, because it varies by the guy and relationship. But two weeks to send you a frickin’ text? Uh-uh, that’s too much. People take their phones everywhere, even to the bathroom. In this day and age, it’s impossible to NOT text you. I’d say, don’t wait around another two weeks for him to not even say hello. Just end it. A guy that doesn’t even think of you enough to send a one word message isn’t someone you want around in the long run. And by the way, Janella, I’m betting the thing about the “losing his phone” is a load of bull. If he wanted to contact you, he’d find a way.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 1:49 pm


So a friend set me up with a guy she knows. We texted for a bit and set up a date. We seemed to really hit it off, loads to talk about and laughed all night. He text me as soon as he got back say how good the night was and that we should do it again sometime. The next day he asked when I was free again and so we arranged date 2 for a few days later. We text everyday and date 2 was even better as I didnt think we would have much to talk about after date 1 but I was wrong. Again he text right after saying thanks for a great night and we talked for ages. We started to plan date 3 for a couple of days later. The day before the date I got a text saying sorry he wasn’t talking much that day but he had hurt himself and was taking some strong painkillers. I asked if he would like to leave the date the next day due the what had happened but got no reply. Have since text him asking how he is but havent had any response. Im so confused….what happened.

ReplyAugust 20, 2015, 7:09 am


I have been attracted to a co worker for a while now and we flirt alot at work so one day I ask him to come over for the night and he seemed interested and was flirti g back we made plans to book up and he asked for my address and then said he was too tired and maybe a other day should I move on or ask him to come over one more time why would he seem interested and then back out

ReplyAugust 19, 2015, 10:52 pm


No, you put it out there about hooking up, and it’s up to him to act on it and take the bait. You don’t want to appear easy, because sometimes that can push the guy away also because it showing him he doesn’t have to do much to be with you. It needs to be up to him to make plans with you, especially if he is the one that cancelled. If he never does, keep it moving.

ReplyAugust 29, 2015, 11:56 am


so i meet this guy at dating site wer talking for about 3weeks at first he told me that he likes me ask everything about me if i had a bf or what my status is we exchanging some text everyday and he reply fast until now he share to me what hes job he said he has a weird job he is a truck driver so most of the time he was really busy but still everyday he send me message and we talk even for about 2hours is maximum he add me on fb but he is not active on fb then i ask him sometimes that he still interested in me he said yes and hes not talking to anyone else and which is true after we meet at dating site he never get online there thats when he explain his job he send picture what his truck look like he send me pictures of him and he always tell me talk to you later or ill message you well yeah he always message me all the time he never fail if he fail it should be one whole day only and he txt morning in my country so supposed to be pm in his country but after 3weeks texting he never said that again to me he just end our conversation without tellling me talk to you later or ill message you later he even call me sweet thing he never sweet he just always said haha..LOL but he still talking to me until now so i dont really know if hes still like me or he just like forcing to talk to me i like him a lot but rigth now i dont know if he still into me or like me the most frustrating is he still talking to me that sometimes i feel he is happy but sometimes i feel he just killing his time for me in short past time so that he dont bored…. T_T how can i tell if he still like me

ReplyAugust 19, 2015, 7:35 pm


To Un-Ji: He may still like you…or he might have lost interest. But I think you might want to work on your English before you worry about this guy. Good luck!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 2:03 pm


I have a dilemma. I was close with a guy and we REALLY hit it off. Our connection was amazing and simply something neither of us had felt before. Everything just clicked. We came to a point where we exchanged “I love you” regularly and talked about the future often, always including each other. I had a lot going on and leaned on him frequently while not understanding how off-putting it was, probably because this isn’t something I normally do. I’m generally very independent, but for whatever reason things were all crashing down on me and this made me temporarily needy. Comments were made a couple times regarding how he shouldn’t be the sole source of my happiness, but I dismissed them saying he wasn’t (because he genuinely wasn’t). I think my words said otherwise though, because he started pulling away. Ultimately he cut me off completely, which was a mere week after he started pulling away. I sent texts the next day and they went unanswered. I haven’t reached out since and neither has he.

We both felt strongly for each other and I know what we had was real. What I would like to know is: Do you think he can ever change his mind and give me a second chance? If so, what is the best way to go about proving I’m independent considering we no longer talk? I am an independent person and I know that’s part of why he was attracted to me to begin with, so I understand why me becoming dependent made him completely turned away from the relationship.

ReplyAugust 19, 2015, 4:00 pm


Give him his space, don’t text him and keep having fun. He will see that you are fine without him and eventually he may come back. It’s ok for him to have some space especially after you went all needy on him. This same exact thing just happened to me. Be aware of your actions and the things you are doing to push him away and WORK on them…continue to become a better person as you wait for him.

ReplyAugust 20, 2015, 12:52 pm


Stop that!!!! By saying that, I literally mean stop contacting him any further..!! I lost my life’s perfect man infact ” an awesome Gentleman” because of all these mistakes what you are doing right now. Just give him some space. A gentleman always loves it when his girl is independent. Don’t be dependent on him for anything. Infact don’t even expect his calls/msgs. Just live your life and he would be again attracted to you. This trick works!! Believe me!! But you gotta be completely loyal to him.
If you want him to miss/love you the way he use to before..Enjoy your life the way you use to when you never knew him. Just quit all contacts with him.. No mails/msgs/calls for a month. Just be in your own world and show him that it really doesn’t matter to you that he exists. This behavior of yours will pinch him and if he is really interested in you, it will make him think what went wrong that you are not chasing him anymore. It might make him feel insecure too.. If you want you can go out on dinner with your male friends too, click pics(DECENT) and upload on fb.. He should know that you are loved by everyone. .. A guy who is genuinely interested in you would be back in fews weeks of you not contacting him. If this extends more than 3 – 4 weeks, chances are even he will fear losing you. So you will be a prize position in his eyes. Be the prize!! Which he will crave to win!! Being a prize is important no matter what your relationship status is!

You just follow the above for a month and if he doesnt msg you, then there could be something wrong. I am not saying he must have lost complete interest in you but he must be genuinely facing some personal/professional problem. But you can still try without showing any kind of insecurity in you.
Follow the below:
You can just send him some funny quotes/jokes once in a while. This doesnt mean you flood his inbox with your msgs. Remember I said “Once in a while”, like once in a month or 2 weeks. Caution: Never ever send him love/relationship and emotional msgs. If you do, he will think you missing him and you will increase his value. Remember one thing “The one who controls the relationship, is the one who cares least.” So just don’t give him the upperhand in the relationship.
PS: This type of guys actually love their own space, and they believe giving space to their partners as well. This builds mutual trust, love and respect for each other, which will be a strong base in your relationship. Try it yourself! Let me know what all is happening. I will keep checking your posts here. Goodluck!

ReplyAugust 24, 2015, 8:28 am


My BF of 8yrs broke up with me. He says he wants to be friends but that we can’t because it’s too hard for both of us. I sent an email about a significant date for us but said I didn’t expect a reply, because he normally doesn’t. But he did reply. It wasn’t much, just acknowledging receipt of the email. Am I reading more into this? Why would he reply at all?

ReplyAugust 16, 2015, 9:28 pm


Its sad to hear this but in this case I think you better move on rather than wasting anymore time on this relationship. If it had to wiork, it will and even he will have to put some efforts to make it work. So just move on and try to love yourself and enjoy your life.

ReplyAugust 25, 2015, 9:24 am


The reasons I stop texting is that texting gets old after a while, I like not to be available all the time but texting and cellphones makes people think you want to be contacted at all times of the day. If my girl wants to talk to me she needs to meet with me, texting all the time is so impersonal. You miss the queues of someone telling you something and how they feel about what you’re listening to. Joey got one thing really right and thats if a man thinks he has you then the texting isn’t necessary because it’s just a means to an end. I value personal time spent in a relationship over texting incessantly for days.

ReplyAugust 14, 2015, 7:51 pm


My situation is confusing. I’ve been dating this guy for 2 years. Everything was great until April when a family member died. Since then, he’s been mean and distant. Initially, I let it slide for a few month months and I even gave him space. Eventually I said something because of how he was acting. I can understand grieving but to say mean things and to treat someone rudely is awful. I was kind but I said what I needed to say. I think he got the point because he was normal for a month and now it’s taking him hoursssssss to text back and is been going on for the last month. Like for instance, last week I texted him at noon to hang out and did not text after that. I didn’t get a text until 9 pm that said, I don’t care. I know he’s a busy person but just say so. I let it slide although it’s unlike him because I know he’s a busy guy. Today, I asked him to go to dinner with me during his break. He could of said no. That was at 1 pm. His break is at 8 and he didn’t get back to me until 845 when it was over. I wouldnt of been mad if he was like sorry I didn’t see this until now or whatever. His response was nah. I really wanted to say something but I haven’t because I don’t want to appear needy but I feel like I’m being a door mat by saying nothing. Did i do the right thing ? :(

ReplyAugust 13, 2015, 1:45 am


You’re not being needy by confronting his bad behavior. You’re being a door mat by not saying anything. He sees he can get away with treating you this way because you put up with it. I know maybe it’s hard, but you should really let him know his behavior is a problem because you’re not going to continue to be treated this way. You will come off as needy if you don’t stand by your word after you tell him this.

ReplyAugust 26, 2015, 8:24 pm


I met this guy last year when he came to drop my sister. It was just a short meeting of 5mins(Just got introduced), but I could see he liked me and later he took number from my elder sis. But he messaged me after a year i.e 2 weeks back and throughout the week, he insisted me to meet him as we stay in the same city. Finally I met him on friday night for drinks/dinner. At dinner he said all good things about me like “I find you very cute and I dont know why I took 1 year to message you. I am enjoying your company”. Later when the bar was getting closed, he said – “I dont wana go… I am not letting you go. I dont want this to end”. So he insisted me to come to his place and I agreed saying I would leave in an hour. I made sure I am not gonna sleep at his place and ofcourse not with him for sure(Since it was our first meeting). He tried getting close but I stick to what I had in my mind and kept it a decent meeting. He made me feel really special by all his jokes, good music and romantic one liners. Later for 3-4 days we were in touch on text msgs and discussed all that we felt that night. He compared our story with “Before sunrise” movie too. Again on wednesday, he insisted me for dinner and we met in a restaurant. We again ended up going to his place and was listening to music, chitchatting. This time we cuddled in the balcony, on the carpet, on the couch. It was a romantic night until he tried to get really close and I asked him to control and said “I dont feel anything for anyone!”. So he booked a cab and I came back home. I think it turned him off and now its been 5 days, he is not initiating the contact with me. He just respond to my msgs like a friend. I called him once, we spoke for few mins and he disconnected the call saying – I will call you back and he never called back. I am not sure, was he only expecting sex or was he getting close to me seriously. I miss him and I was looking for a long term relationship and not just sex, so I thought of taking things slow initially. With his behaviour, I feel he just wanted to have sex with me. But when I think of things he said like comparing our story with before sunrise and stuff, I think even he liked me. He is not asking to meet me anymore. What should I do? Please help!

ReplyAugust 12, 2015, 10:13 am


Well played and well done. You should be proud of yourself, missing him is normal cos you did like him

ReplyAugust 16, 2015, 2:54 pm


Please read my comment.

ReplyAugust 20, 2015, 8:07 am


Wait girl! cause you have alredy talked to him
I think he likes you but.. I don´t like the way he treated you last day!!
If he is looking for some long-term relationship he will text or call u in a couple of weeks
If he just wants sex he won´t text u or maybe he will because you are “difficult” so he´ll try so hard to get u in his bed..
good luck ladie!! xx

ReplyAugust 19, 2015, 6:29 pm


Hey Fecilia & Nadia,
Thanks for the response.. To know what happened later, keep reading:

Yes. He messaged me when I changed my profile pic on whatsapp and he called me himself on Tuesday and said he is hanging around in my area. He asked me, if I wanna go out for a drive..We went to few places and then we decided we can enjoy more being at home. So, we went to his house and this time, he decently kept distant and was being more formal. He said “I became bit naughty last time. Just got carried away. Hope you are not judging me on that.” I said “No, but I want to know what pissed you off that you suddenly booked cab for me. He said “I don’t know I was just bit irritated with something”, I told him that this is not how you treat people around you.. He is like “Yeah yeah! I am really sorry for that behavior of mine.” And then we had few drinks with some soft romantic music playing. He holdd my hands and said I am loving this. I asked him directly if he just wants to have sex with me and he denied that he wont have sex unless he loves a girl. He doesn’t believe in having a casual sex. Later we kept talking for few hours. while talking he came close to me..Hugged me and he kissed me and suddenly got up and started doing something else. I was lying on the couch clueless (WEIRD! right?).. I said “I think I should leave.. I have work tomorrow.” He said “Yes. I will drop you back home.” And on the way to my house, we hardly spoke anything and was just listening to music. Now its Thursday and no call, msgs from him! WTF! What he wants man? :-|

PS: I loved the way he gently kissed me for few min. Blush! :D

ReplyAugust 20, 2015, 8:04 am


Please help!
So I was on vacation (1000 miles away from home) and downloaded a dating app–long story short I exchanged numbers with a guy.
For the first month it was great, I let him be the one to text me first, I was completely receiving to his quirks and problems. Eventually it got a little sexual–we’ve never actually meet but we have fun sending photos and talking.
About three weeks ago things started to change, one day he had sent a text I may have looked too much into, he said that even if we didn’t have sexy conversations he was still glad we crossed each other’s paths and how our texts makes his day go by easier.
I did the huge mistake of showing it to two friends who freaked me out by saying it was a Goodbye text… So I asked him if he “friend-zoned” me… Immediately after I completely regretted it, I felt it totally blew off my calm/collected exterior. He replied with a “well, we don’t live in the same state.” After I said it was ok, my question didn’t come as planned, and completely changed the subject to something fun. Things followed as normal after that.
Well, about 2 weeks ago his texts weren’t daily anymore and started to dwindle. Since iv only texted him twice where he replies immediately and always (without me asking) says how stressed and tired he is and how he only has a week or two more of that work stress.
I’m constantly fighting the urge to text him, I want to so bad but feel I should let him. It’s confusing because he first says how our texts are joyful but then doesn’t text all week. Not even at night.
What do you guys think of the situation? I do really like him, I’m unsure where it will go but I think I’m just not really to give up the possibilities. I really appreciate it and all your articles!

ReplyAugust 3, 2015, 10:42 pm

Daisuke Aurora

Lol. Women are crazy.

ReplyAugust 4, 2015, 9:48 pm


Honestly Sandy if it’s only been months and the conversation isn’t was you want then its time to move on… 1000 miles away is too far for a relationship to flourish. Not saying it can’t but chances are it won’t work. Continue talking to him if you want too… have fun here and there but communication isthe cornerstone to a healthy relationship and as far as im concerned its entertainment to him. There are lots of single men looking for a girl like you so don’t settle. If a guy is into you he will make the effort.

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 11:25 am


he said that “even if we didn’t have sexy conversations he was still glad we crossed each other’s paths and how our texts makes his day go by easier”
Idk.. maybe it’s me but it looks like he’s saying “He’s happy to have met you and even though the times you do text, they’re normally sexy conversations. He still loves communicating with you!”

ReplyAugust 19, 2015, 9:18 pm


Okay. I’m confused with this guy. we started talking like a week ago. he initiated the conversation. and i always take a long time to answer back. he started doing the same so then i answered him quicker.but all he ever ask me is “what are you doing?’. and makes the conversations short. The first time he messaged me I was kinda busy so i replied with really short answers and took a long time to reply. He then told me if i was okay and that if he was bothering me. I told him no that i was sorry, i was busy. why? He’s like ” u seem uninterested in talking” and i explained the situation.(sorry i suck at texting) At first he did ask me a few questions but not nomore. I feel after that he seemed more distant. like he didn’t talk the same with me no more.Like all our conversations are abt is what each other is doing. lol help? idk i haven’t really talked to a guy before so i feel like its kinda my fault. but i feel like he doesn’t try also. he tells me really stupid stuff like i’m hungry and he always writes with a double letters on words. idk. so we haven’t talked for a day. but he did see my message and left it as unseen. should i try and text him again. or should i call it quits. please help?

ReplyAugust 2, 2015, 2:46 am


Vanessa, my impression of you is that you are young and you have only been talking for a week. That is way longer than you will talk to 99% of the people you ever talk to in your lifetime. If you are inexperienced with talking to boys then talk with tons of them. If a guy is interested in you he will make time to talk with you. Don’t dwell on it. Guys will come and go. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated… With care and respect. So if you want to keep texting him and are satisfied with the level of communication you two have then great. But if you think its lagging then I would move on. You don’t have to close the door on him… but don’t wait for him to realize you are pretty cool. Every hour you waste on mr wrong is an hour further from mr right. Ask yourself if you are happy with any situation if the answer isn’t yes then don’t accept it.

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 11:18 am


Hi! so i’ve been talking to this guy for the past two weeks, but here is the background story… About a month ago at the end of the school year i was quickly introduced to this guy by one of my friends. The friend was actually having a thing with my best friend and at the moment they are no longer together, however i am still friends with him and some others in that friend group, but the strange thing is that this “guy” only reached out to me weeks later. I had not seen him at all since we were introduced and he direct messages me on Instagram (because i mean who still uses facebook?) Anyways we got talking and he seemed like a cool guy. Not gonna lie he is pretty terrible at texting, i mean he always starts the conversations but i feel like i always have to keep it going, and on top of that are replies are sometimes hours apart. We talked for about a week until he suggested we go out, but then the first he brought it up he said movies but then i replied with grabbing a bite instead because i didnt have the time. The sucker doesnt reply but my friends spotted him with his friends and then he sends me a snapchat of him and his friends, i was pretty rattled not going to lie. I ignored him until he apologized and he said he “forgot” to press send because he got too messed up (he had A POT BROWNIE) its not like i have a problem with that but its the fact he left me hanging, i acted off cool and shrugged it off, and he was thankful i didnt make it a big deal, anyways we talked about the same old stuff probably the best conversation we had was about cars! i mean i feel like i was turning into a bro, but he still showed some interest and even complimented on of my cheeky photos on vsco. So a few days went by and then he wants to make plans. We plan to meet downtown in a coffee shop and then walk around, but then the weather turned to complete shit and he suggested to go for a movie later. I was super exicited he was a gentleman and everything asking which movie i wanted to watch i gave him a choice tho between three. Anyways the coffee plans were suppose to be at 4 this is now 6pm and im thinking we were gonna go to a 7pm showtime but no he was like how about around 9? i was a bit reluctant but said yes, then he goes to ask his mom and she says no because he needs to help packing stuff how they are moving houses in 3 days. He even called himself an ass and i think he was sorry but once again i let down, i went to the movies instead with a few friends. SO the next day (sunday) all i get is a snapchat of his dog!! and then monday comes and he finally texts me with a hey, and we have small talk and he gives me nothing to work with besides a “still packing shit” for a response and so reply “wow u guys must have a lot stuff cuz packing is sure taking a long time” (I HAD NO BETTER ANSWER AT THE TIME IM SORRY) The ass doesnt answer but puts up a snapchat story and everything, at 12:30am (late but still). So now its tuesday and i know its moving day today but its bugging me so much, like this retard texts me but just seems like he doesnt care ( cuz he probably doesnt) but anyways i know he isnt talking to any other gurl ( i have insider information) and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO HE IS DRIVING ME MAD, he was a great reminder why i dont waste my time on boys, the only reason i havent given up is because my gut is telling me not to, and same informant as the one that told me he isnt talking to any other girl told me about him and has the same interests and mind set as me and i think we could be more than friends but ugh so far its going no where. SO MY QUESTION, is this into me? and should i still invest my time on him? you tell me sabrina or rachel or eric

ReplyJuly 28, 2015, 5:16 pm


My Ex is married but 6months back he contacted mee and was apologetic and repents not marrying me. Then after a month he wanted to have an Xtra marital. Initially I didn’t talk n even changed my no. But now we met last week after 6 months and kissed. but after this meeting he didn’t call or texted and even didn’t replied to my texts. M confused!!!! Yes hez blocked from my fb n wats appl only way he can reach me is thru call or text msg.

ReplyJuly 25, 2015, 10:06 am


Ekta!!!!! He is an ex for a reason! If you weren’t good enough then why are you ok with being 2nd best? To a married guy none the less. Even if really wanted him would you trust him? Wouldn’t you wonder where he is at night? That’s what mistresses think when they aren’t the mistress any more. Why are you even talking to him? Move on you are better than that. Don’t settle. You deserve to be number 1 to a man. So don’t accept any less.

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 11:32 am


Confused about my textationship as i call it with a guy I find incredibly sexy. We’ve had a lot of sexy back and forth texts and a couple of flings at his office but its only a Monday thru Friday thing. Making me so frustrated. I know I need to just stop, but should I just quit texting or should I give him an explanation of why I won’t be texting him any longer? Sad thing is that I REALLY dig him!

ReplyJuly 24, 2015, 1:57 pm


Jessica… why is it only a Monday to friday deal? I mean if you’re ok with that and just finding something else to do on the weekends then why change it? But if you are wanting this to turn into something other that a fling (your words) then just ask why. And you don’t owe him an explanation for anything… if you’re done just say your done.

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 12:39 pm


Hey, I met a perfect guy, I really swear it’s the men of my life, the men who I want to marry me, have kids, live with but the problem is he isnt feel the same for me.
We talk each other, he explain me he was interested in another girl but he says me tht I’m really importante for him and he want keep in his life. I was really sad but I accepted. So, I think a lot about it and I say to him that I’ll not give up on him cause I love him and I believe in destin and even he feel nothing for me right now, feels can change. He told me that he wasnt expecting for that and he doenst want hurt me if I see him with another girl. I tried to explain him for me it isnt important because I want keep him in my life even I have to see him with na another girl. He understood that and we were cool, he keep talking everyday but last weekend he travelled with his friends for some holidayscamp and when he come back with talk like always but he stop reply me and soon 1 week passed and he doesnt talk to me.. I dont know why he doesnt talk to me but I’m afraid.
-Sorry for my English, I’m a Portuguese who lives in France.

ReplyJuly 19, 2015, 12:30 pm


Stop it. Do not contact him anymore. You deserve to be with a man who loves you the way you love him. The guy you are speaking of does not love you. Let him go. He does not value you. You can do better Nuria.

ReplyJuly 25, 2015, 4:10 pm


Rachel is right stop now. He wants you in his life in case he needs to fall back on you. You don’t need or deserve that. It sounds like you need to teach yourself to become independent. .. you might want a man… but you shouldn’t need a man. Never settle

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 12:59 pm


Hi . I would like to know your opinion. I met a guy at a work, we fell for each other and we started to date. The problem is, we both had non-functional relationships. We knew about it from the beginning, and decided we will let it go with its way and see what the future brings. He tend to messaging me every day, we just talk about the day, plan our dates, share our thoughts. After 2 months I felt, it should be discussed how about his relationship with his girlfriend. Then the problem starts. He explain to me that he is aware that the our situation is not so good, but after years of his relationship is not so easy to close it in a second, that nothing so serious happen so he dont have a clue what to do. He has hard times coming back home from abroad, trying to find his place on earth, good job and so on. After all, he wrote me that he is sad about the thoughts i brought, that he did not want to fall over some other girl but when he met me, he fell crazy in love with me, but the situation is not so easy for him, so he is not able to give me the final answers for my questions. He asked me for favor, if I can give him some days to think and brush his thoughts so he can make himself more clear, and after that we can meet up and speak about it, that he is not good at phone communication. I agreed, but know it is the third day and I did not get any message from him. I do not know what he is thinking. maybe its just that he is really thinking about us and dont want to contact me until he is sure what to tell me, but its really strange because before we tend to chat all over the day. Now? Nothing! I am starting to think that he just cut me off. Even, he is not that type of guy, he is very responsible and dont want to hurt anybody so I count on it, that if anything he will let me know directly , but still. I am confused. What do you think?

ReplyJuly 17, 2015, 1:55 am


He did give you his choice. He won’t leave her. What’s to think about if he is soooo in love with you? Do you want him having this conversation with the next girl when you think he is with you? Ask yourself what would you tell your 24 year old daughter if she was you? You would say why are you wasting your time with him? A fling ok whatever but both in telationships and running around. It’s called lust. Move on you deserve better than that. Never settle

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:06 pm


Hi Eric, could you please elaborate on this:
“I would encourage you to look for opportunities for the guy to make an effort towards you. The more of an effort he puts into seeing you or doing things for you, the more invested in you he’ll become.”
Are you suggesting that women should not initiate contact with a guy in the beginning so that he can put in more effort and become more invested? I may be misreading what you said so please correct me if I’m wrong.
Also, what is your take on a woman sending a man a text message in the beginning stages? My ex recently reconnected with me and while he has mostly contacted me first to see me, there are times when I want to text him first. However, I worry that initiating first may lead him to pull away or put less effort into reaching out to me first. With that being said, if he initiates communication and makes plans to see me when I don’t initiate texts with him, should I just not initiate at all?

ReplyJuly 5, 2015, 12:48 am


I have this same problem. My bf will be responding to other people on Facebook and reads my messages and doesn’t reply. We have been together 2 years and it’s a complete difference to how it was before. It was always a quick response, we would send each other cute messages and Smiley’s and now he just looks at them and no reply, or if he does its not with anything cute back. When I bring it up he just dismisses it and says he’s not acting differently but he clearly is. I am not sure what to do because it is really stressing me out.

ReplyJuly 1, 2015, 12:14 am


Patty FB is FB… do you text or talk on the phone? Or only by FB? If other forms of communication are working who cares about his response on FB. However you habe expressed your consern to him and if you are unhappy then change could be a good thing. Don’t be a pushover. He isn’t going to wakeup one day and say I need to respond to Patty faster on FB today… Communication is key in a meaningful relationship

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:14 pm


I’ve been talking to a man for about 4weeks now. We went to school together but we didn’t hang out way back then. He is 8 hrs away. Everything was going good. We made plans to go to the beach on Sunday, today is Thursday. I haven’t heard from him in 2days. I didn’t change anything, I texted and called like I always have. Should I cancel the hotel (it’s in my name) or just wait it out? Oh and by the way he was the persistent one, he is the one who made contact. What sucks I I really really like him. :(

ReplyJune 25, 2015, 8:55 pm


I just dont get it sometimes. I met a guy on a dating app. We agreed to meet. He texts me to ask when and where I want to meet up, I tell him, then 8 hours later he says sorry he fell asleep. Ok sure it was late when we were texting so believable. But then he asks again when and where and then doesnt repond to me for another 8 hours. This happens a third time the next day I finally just tell him hey I am beginning to wonder if I am being catfished and his response is, “Because i dont text back in two seconds. Wow you are immature if you think you are being catfished. Have a good day bye” Like wtf, it wasnt 2 seconds. you asked me when i wanted to hang and then never respond back and its not needy to wonder whats going on.

ReplyJune 22, 2015, 4:53 pm


Sounds like he is an inconsiderate a hole. Just forget about him. Bye felicia! I know it sucks but they nobody has time for that!

ReplyJuly 11, 2015, 1:37 pm


When I made plans to meet a new girl I was excited. .. probably couldn’t have fallen asleep if I tried.

Fool me once shame on you… fool me twice shame on me.

Don’t settle there are plenty of guys out there who want to spend time with you.

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:21 pm


We had an argument over keys wow this is crazy he wouldn’t talk to me or tex me for two days he said I embarraced him when I got upset with him for saying something very dirty to another girl right in front of me and I said to him don’t ever say that again with that I got back from him shut your F**king mouth I was like Wut I was working at the time as a Bartendar while this happened . So he had used my car earlier when at wk so after he said that to me I said give me my keys and he said later on that I embarraced him by saying that to him so he got mad and went home . Next day I go to a wedding alone and people at the wedding are like we’re is your man I was so embarraced to be there alone later on that night we started to tex back and forth things got heated I said he said got more heated then I went on my FB. And deleted him oh boy not a good thing but I did it because I was upset , now today I send a tex to him telling him I am apolazising for embracing him then he sends back a tex ok that’s all I wanted from u was to apolazise .. Then I tell him in anger I Deleted him from my FB. And he comes back with oh by the way I am not accepting u back on my FB . Now I am upset again and did not reply to his tex I am in need of a reply asap to Wut I should tex back to him about this I feel I apolazise to him then he wants to start another argument over texting me this crap to push my buttons. Omg. Now Wut I am getting confused here Wut do I say back to this tex ..,,

ReplyJune 8, 2015, 5:11 pm


So my boyfriend we are texting for a good maybe 5mins and the he’ll just stop answering for 6-8 hours and I just say okay in my head and won’t text him back but today he told me he wasn’t busy at all but he didn’t text me for the whole day and I texted him and said hey and he just read it and never replied does that mean he just doesn’t care anymore??

ReplyJune 1, 2015, 2:23 am

Ronielle Copeland

It depends how often do you guys see each other??? If you both see each other all the time as stay with each other , he’s probably thinking about continuing the conversation when he returns home. Totally doesn’t mean he don’t care, trust me go out with another guy he cares!!! LOL

ReplyJune 1, 2015, 12:23 pm


I personally don’t think a person that you’re not serious with is obligated to text you all day everyday, but I do think not texting back but having time to post on your social media pages is a bit rude. The guy I’m “seeing” is very distant. We talked for a little bit and he changed suddenly. He told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. But the thing is, I haven’t mentioned anything about being serious with him simply because that’s not what I’m into at this point in my life; I don’t have the time. We went an entire month without communicating outside of work but suddenly he texts me out of the blue (I was indeed shocked). That lasted for about two days or so and now he’s back like he used to be, he rarely texts me back. I told him that he was absolutely horrible at texting back and he responded almost a day later saying “I really am”. Idk If he’s just not into texting or it’s just me… I think he doesn’t show too much “attention” bc he thinks that I was fall for him or something like that. It’s complicated.

ReplyMay 25, 2015, 11:51 am


NO!!! He is Playing fence and I would run far !!!! He probably already has someone and because you are a good catch , he is trying to keep you on stand by , Guys do it all the time!! I’m communicating with a guy and he has a girl and stays with her but he stated ” I strongly attracted to you ” & ” I don’t want to do the same thing on Thursday that I did on Monday!” I thought to myself this dog! lol

ReplyJune 1, 2015, 12:27 pm


So are you seeing him or just hooking up? Because if you’re seeing him I would run. If he is simply a hook up then treat it as such. No expectations just booty call. Its not worth the headache to try and understand someone who has no clue themselves. Find a new buddy

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:33 pm


Oh my God, this helps so much. My boyfriend of 2 months used to text me every time he was free to say hey, and ask how I’m doing and tell me what he’s been doing all day. He also used lots of hearts and smiley faces, and would tell me cute things like he wishes he could be with me right now, or he misses me. Recently it’s been so different, he doesn’t really send good morning or good night texts unless I do, and they’re not anything
extravagant at all. Or he will barely text me all day. When we’re together, it’s perfectly fine and he’s usually very sweet to me. He still makes plans and tries to see me, but his texting habits have been discouraging and I’m afraid to say anything without him thinking I’m crazy. Do you think it’s anything to worry about, or am I being paranoid? Do all boys do this? I’m sick of waiting around for a good morning text and then being pissed all day that I didn’t get one.

ReplyMay 23, 2015, 10:51 am


What happens if you don’t text him at all? Will he text you? How often do you see him? If you see him everyday then just politely say you would like him to send you a quick text throughout the day. So you know he’s thinking of you… thats not too much to ask. But communication is key in a relationship so if its lacking now… it won’t get better later

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:40 pm


when i found he was with another man, i expressed my sad feelings, he got angry and broke up with me 7 months ago. he then once a while called me and asked me if i talk with other man.I am an Asian woman and he is a white man, we are middle-aged and had a 5 year relationship. i have a son under 18 years old and he never got married.

ReplyMay 15, 2015, 10:13 pm


I am really surprised that people are thinking this way about texts. I’m a girl and I totally take the guy approach to texting. I’m not tied to my phone all the time, and I rarely text back instantly, unlike my male best friend! Maybe the guys dont have credit, are busy.concentrating on something else..are they working? I also think a lot of times people send messages which just dont really warrant a reply. Like they just had dinner or watched “the voice”…..well, thats great, what do you want me to say to that? I’m mostly with the guys on this one.

ReplyMay 14, 2015, 9:19 am

So Thankful!

Oh my gosh! This is a life saver!!!

I have been chatting online with this guy for like a month. At the beginning he contacted me almost everyday and chased me really hard. Then he went MIA for a few days and my stupid girl mind went crazy and unfortunately I sent a freaked out email asking what happened and what did I do? He assured me everything was fine and he was just busy. Since then I always had an inkling like maybe something was off. Whenever we did chat, things were great and I tried to keep things casual an normal. But I always fought this thought that I screwed up somehow and he was losing interest. So I sent him lots of messages all the time (casual and flirty, mind you) but still very frequent, and I never heard back often. But during this we’d still chat every so often and again it was great.

So finally after several non-returned messages when I felt close to another freak out email, I decided to take this advice and change my MO by backing off. Just told him I realized he was busy so I’m still around but I won’t bug him all the time and I’ll wait for him to say hi when he has time. An agonizing few days went by and it was really hard on my natural girl freak out tendencies, but I powered thru.

Then finally today as I was rereading this article, I received an email from him (1st one he’s ever initiated)! Asking how I am doing and saying sorry he’s been so busy and that he’s not avoiding me and hoped I didn’t think that. Then he even signed off the email saying “Kinda weird not having you bug me ;-)” LOL My mission is accomplished!!!! :D

Thank you!!! This has helped my brain rethink how to deal with guys who don’t respond right away and makes me feel more in control of my feelings – kinda empowering. :) Woohoo!! Definitely the best advice I could’ve received!! :D

ReplyMay 8, 2015, 2:56 pm


Hi…. How are things now????

Did he stay in touch on a regular basis or has he gone MIA again ….

ReplyJune 21, 2015, 9:51 pm


Hi…. How are things now????

Did he stay in touch on a regular basis or has he gone MIA again ….
Just wondered if it had a long term affect on him ???

ReplyJune 21, 2015, 9:54 pm


I was talking online to a guy for 2 weeks everyday. We talked about meeting each other. He said things like i may fall too hard and fast for you, you maybe my dream woman but i could take advantage of him…he asked me to message him something, i did and it was long so i sent a picture and said are you paying attention? He responded later and said yes he was love your body and apologized for being MIA because his dad had a stroke and responded again i havent heard from him in 2 weeks,,what should i do?

ReplyMay 6, 2015, 1:28 pm


Don’t do anything… if he texts you again fine if not no loss

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:54 pm


So I just met this guy and I text him first the next day. Well he asked questions
How’s your day?
What time do you get off from work
I responded back, no response from him so about 45 minutes to an hour I asked him how he was doing? Nothing. It’s a new day and I wanted to know it considered needie to text him again today. I haven’t dated in years so I don’t know how it works anymore.

ReplyMay 4, 2015, 12:09 pm


Yes sounds needie… give it a couple days and send another one… no response then delete

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 1:58 pm


Well this is a recent development.
Me and my bf have been dating way over a year. I always find around the 6 months month texting drops anyway, as you get used to each other and your routines etc. So I didnt think anything of it.
But before, he would text me back within 30mins-hour depending if hes busy or not. If hes at his computer or home he would text me instantly.
I see him online, playing games, in skype. I know hes talking to our friends in skype calls as they’ll be responding to me.
But he just doesn’t respond to me. In Skype or text, not he just doesn’t respond or when he does he puts “Awww”, “Well then”. He’s just not paying attention to me no more. I know he’s busier now with exams, and his parents, and TKD and tutoring, but before he would always make time for me. Even just one League game for 30 minutes.
So When I ask “Did you fall asleep last night at all?” he would just say “Oh yeah… Did you text me sorry.”
He’s lost interest hasn’t he? :/ Its hard because I actually believed in love and like even marriage with him >.< I feel a bit like a fool.
I know he's not cheating, he's so anti-cheating as he was cheated on in his last relationship. Its just… Sad is all. I can't exactly 'Spice it up' as hes very reserved and whenever I try to he just doesn't like surprises, he likes routine.

ReplyApril 28, 2015, 6:54 pm


Ok are you dating n the same city? Or online dating?

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 2:02 pm


ok so I like this guy and when we first started talking he told me he liked me so a few months later I told him I liked him too but then he denied telling me he liked me any that left me heart broken. So I hadn’t seen him for 4 months and then we end up at this convention together and at first it feels so awkward but then he comes and sits with me and we talk a bit. So my friend was on my phone on this new Chinese app called Myidol and she made me look like Elsa (I’m black so imagine a white Elsa with a black persons facial structure) and it was funny so he asked to see and I showed him then I look away for a bit and when I look back he had gone out of the app and onto my and he went through all the questions I had asked him which was a lot and he kept on joking that I had nothing better to do with my life. And then he goes into my Camera roll with out asking me and looks through all my photos. And I have such embarrassing photos in my phone plus I follow a few workout accounts on Instagram and I screen shot helpful tips and I was so embarrassed when he went through it. I got so annoyed that he did that and after the convention was over I just wanted to leave immediately but my friend who I was going home with wandered off to go talk to people and I was just left there waiting for her while he was just looking am me like he didn’t know me. I had gotten enough of him and I left to go sit by the door but then he went to his friend and was talking to him and I could have sworn he was talking about me. I just don’t understand why guys are so anoying like why would he just look through my phone without asking me like I wouldn’t do that to him cause I respect his privacy. So now I don’t know if I should forgive him or forever hate him because I don’t think I can bare to see him again for another 5 years. UUUUGGGHHHH!!! For the past 4 months I had been hoping to see him again and when I do he goes through my phone without asking me. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!!! Some one please help ????????????

ReplyApril 27, 2015, 4:20 pm


Hey, I am currently talking with a guy who lives 45 minutes away from me. At the beginning, he seemed very interested but now he only texts me once a day. And his texts are really sweet and nice. He doesnt call me anymore and didnt make a request to meet. We met once and its been roughly 3 weeks we are talking. I dont know what to do or how to make him give more attention to me. I dont want to mention to him that I am annoyed by his actions because I dont want him to think that Im pushy..

Need help

ReplyApril 26, 2015, 11:11 am


So ask to meet up again… I mean a guy who is interested should show interest… a little more than a regual once a day

ReplyAugust 9, 2015, 2:07 pm


I’m dating this guys for 2 months and everything has been fine. None of those signs that he was pulling away, if anything he was very passionate in the last couple times we were together. Out of the blue, he went radio silent for 5 days. I thought about the whole time we were together and honestly I can’t think of any reason why. I am not a needy or clingy type because I am busy myself and need space too. But I would never ignore the person I am dating for over 2 days. Any thoughts what I should do here???

ReplyApril 24, 2015, 10:21 am


Wait….. if he’s interested he will reply

ReplyApril 25, 2015, 11:33 am


Maybe he’s feeling more than he’s comfortable with and he needs a bit of space to process his feelings

ReplyApril 25, 2015, 11:36 am

Bella CA

Hi, it might sounds crazy but I met this guy from the Dating Site. He’s a widower and after some chitchat, I realized that I like him. I like his personality, and he keeps told me that I’m pretty, and he always told me to share our passions, dreams, etc. so I thought he’s liking me back. But then after the weekend, he didn’t contact me and on Monday night, he told me that he went out to met his children. (He really loves his children and will do anything for them, but it’s not working for his ex-wife).
Now I’m so sad. I texted him last night when his sk*pe status was online, and he doesn’t texted me back until now (it’s been 7 hours) but he changed his online status to “away”.
Well, I really hate this feeling because I really really like him, I don’t care with his flaws and I still hope that we can meet and have a future together :(

ReplyApril 21, 2015, 9:07 pm


Ok so I have this guy who I’m interested in, he’s really sweet but I’m kind of worried because he’s extremely good looking and SOOO nice. He’s 3 years older than me and I know that we aren’t anything but friends right now. Even though he is constantly telling me how beautiful and nice and amazing I am. He doesn’t go to my school so it makes me wonder if he’s talking to any girls and saying the same things to them. He occasionally doesn’t reply to me and he says that he forgot or was busy. The problem is that i don’t know if I should text him again or just wait until he finally replys to me even if it’s like 2 days later. Sometimes I think if I should kind of remind him like with a “?” But then I end up not doing it. Since we are just friends I don’t want to seem needy. So do you think I should just start a new convo or wait for him to text me first?

ReplyApril 19, 2015, 11:14 pm

Free spirit

How about people stop determining their self worth by a text message? If people don’t respond maybe they’re busy, at work, or, better yet, actually enjoying their life. Text messages have become a way for those with a lack of self-esteem or those who crave attention to doubt themselves and their self-worth because someone didn’t respond ASAP. Who cares? Live your life for you. Don’t worry what others think. If you send a text to a guy or a girl with expectations of a certain response or within a time frame, 99% of the time you will be disappointed. Ideals are never our reality.

ReplyApril 19, 2015, 7:37 pm


Thank you. You have eloquently summed up how I feel about texting. People who want to contact you will do so and no one’s self-worth should be reduced to whether or not they receive a text!

ReplyJune 3, 2015, 8:53 am

Judy Judy

Must say I’ve seen the light. Loved these articles and realized we as women go over the moon and back for men. What for? We are the prize. Act like it. Why be reduced to whether a man calls me back or doesn’t ever call me back. If he didn’t appreciate my feelings and sensitivity, then he’s not the one. Ain’t gonna change how I feel about myself anymore; and that’s the level we must stay at. Nope, didn’t give it up but almost was in that trance zone, and was STILL shook up. Not anymore, reading these comments changed that. Thank you Ladies.

ReplySeptember 26, 2016, 4:53 pm

Tania Harera

Before I always chat by whatsapp but not now, already 3 days I always first chat him nd greet him.. I am confused but I still think positive not negative, but I know he busy..
I need advice, I’m 20 years old and I fell in love with a man 30 years old .. I know it online and I still contact with him until today, but a great distance made difficult to meet him (I was in Indonesia and he was in german) .. I never thought he was not interested in me, and instead he ever thought I was not interested in him, he is still single and he said he would come to see me in september .. and he never said “it was funny when you laughed when you were next to me .. Never had this Situation before, because of the distance ..
It was really hard for me to see you cry
Because I could not change anything
But it Showed to me you are a good Girl with the right Ambitions “

ReplyApril 14, 2015, 3:51 am

Hi Tania,
How long have you known this German guy now from the time you guys started knowing each other online? You mentioned “i fell in love with a man …..” … have you asked yourself if you are jumping into it too fast? What kind of assurance did he give you that he is serious in this as well?
To be blunt, I think you need to protect your heart by not trusting every single word he said until he has proven it. If he’s busy now, he will use the same excuse if he can’t make it to Indonesia to visit you in September. You should detach yourself emotionally from relying on him to much to make you happy. You need to live life to fullest as if he is not there, and if he really appears in September, that will be a huge bonus to your already fulfilled life.
As selfish as it sounds, you should always come before him, not the other way round. Don’t put yourself in an emotionally dangerous position to depend your happiness too much on him, or any guy for that matter.
Hope it works well for you. Take care!

ReplyApril 14, 2015, 7:46 pm

Tania Harera

To : LP. Online

Big thanks for your advice, everything you say is true .. I am confused previously never like this .. I can only pray and wishing everything he was said is true.. I have a wrong feeling to him, I just be here waiting for him, and if he comes, for me it is a bonus from God for me

God always blessing:)

ReplyApril 17, 2015, 8:29 am


I am in a similar situation! my guy told me he would text me this weekend… and then didn’t. like i’ve just been staring at the phone this whole time… waiting.. and nothing. like I can’t text him first.. so i have this horrible pain of waiting for him to text meeee.

ReplyApril 11, 2015, 11:04 am


Don’t sit around & wait for a guy to text you, and when and if he texts you back, don’t jump on the phone & text back straight away. I hate all the time rules of when your allowed to txt the Guy back, you’ll know yourself really. But honestly, don’t spring to the phone when he texts, guys like the chase in a relationship so let him chase you, if he doesn’t then it’s not meant to be. Hope this helps

ReplyApril 13, 2015, 5:55 am


Did he ever text back?

ReplyApril 22, 2015, 2:30 pm


I must say, you have hit the nail on the proverbial head. My guy is away a lot, and yes his job is stressful and it takes 95% of his time. I have enjoyed reading your articles and emails. I HAVE taken action as you have stated..I can practically “hear” him panting in his texts, when he is finally able to. Last night was amazing -I let him be the “winner”, after days of me not texting him, his first text was “ok..good, your there, hru” I led the conversation all about him, he finally asked “how am I, what have I been doing”
Anybody else reading this, LISTEN and FOLLOW Eric”s advice LISTEN, don’t just skim the articles, reread them go over them..what he says may sound very simple..but guess what, it works.
Thank You Eric, I’ll keep you posted.

ReplyMarch 31, 2015, 10:56 am


I’m living in Mexico City right now. I met a guy (Mexican) on Friday at a club. He came up to me and said that we had met the last time I was there but I couldn’t recall. As we talked I felt a really strong connection. We talked all night on the couch until it closed and then I went back to his place. We talked and had sex all morning and day basically. It was really amazing, conversation and the rest. I left around 6pm Saturday afternoon. So he texts me on Monday at 2pm asking me to come over for drinks. I saw the message a few hours later, told him I needed a nap to recover from Sunday. He said no worries he would be home later. I message him around 8, and he says he had stepped out and he would let me know when he gets back. And then nothing… It is Tuesday afternoon. Is he an asshole? Is this a bad sign? When/if he gets back to me should I play hard to get (which I hate)? I am thinking way too much about it I know, but I just really liked him and felt good around him. Advice please.

ReplyMarch 17, 2015, 3:52 pm


This guy and I started texting, we texted for a week, he started most of all the conversation, told me that I was his definition of his perfect girl, sent me flirtation emoji cons and asked if I would ever date him, liking the guy I said yes, he asked me out to the movies and I went with him, I offered to pay and he said no and he paid for everything. He seemed nervous because he kept rubbing his leg. He invited me out next weekend to go quading.
After the movie date he texted me and asked what was I hoping would happen? I replied talk more I guess and he said that’s what he hoped for too, he invited me again to come quading on the weekend. The next day I texted him he ignored me all day than claimed he was busy, I was totally cool with that. Then the day after that we texted and it was very short but he was flirting, then he stopped texting all of a sudden. It’s been 3 days and he’s ignored me? I asked if we were still going quading, but no reply, he read it and I know he isn’t busy because he’s been on social media? What did I do wrong? Why is he ignoring me? I thought things were going good and we were on a road to a relationship, so he lead me into believe.

ReplyMarch 13, 2015, 7:48 pm


Hey, I know exactly how you feel. I had the same with this guy, he was texting me all the time,in work, during the day, at night,just little things like Hey, I am thinking of you…and all that. I went out with him twice, so I thought he liked me, but since then he has stopped texting me, and doesn’t reply to my texts either. I don’t get it, if he didn’t like me, why go out with me on a second date?? Guys are just so weird.

ReplyMarch 15, 2015, 3:47 pm

Martha juanita

So I hope someone can help me with some advice. I have been dating this guy for about two months as typical at the beginning he was very into me calling, getting together ect. I even left for a week and he was texting everyday very involve in my life. He is a very busy guy has lots of friends those marathons and it is very active. When I came back he presented me all his friends so I saw this as a good sign. The only problem is that he kept saying he is a egoist person which I quite didn’t understood because so far everything had been fine. Then 10 days ago we saw each other and I ask him about the egoist thing because he kept repeating it. He told me that he was going through a period where he needed space and to do whatever he wants to, to be independent. I didn’t see this as a problem since I am usually a very independent person. But after that he started to withdraw, that weekend he didn’t call me at all. I have to accept I did the mistake of asking if something was wrong on Sunday. He answer everything was good with me but he needed some space as he told me before. Do to that I back off. Didn’t heard from him until Wednesday when he call me apologize for being distance and told me that he just needed some time on his own. And that he was going to be busy due to some friends things and work until the following weeks that he hope I could understand. I thought this was reasonable and said it was ok. Didn’t heard from him after that so I decided on Saturday to send him a morning funny text he read it but didn’t reply. Today is Sunday and he has not reply or text me at all. I am feeling quite nervous cause of course I want to know what is going on, or if he is just gonna disappear all the sudden. Any advise? For sure I am not gonna text again but it is so difficult since everything just started to collapse a week ago.

ReplyFebruary 22, 2015, 8:31 am


So I hope someone ca help me with some advice. I have been dating this guy for Alison two months as typical at the begining he was very into me calling, getting together ect. I even left for a week and So I hope someone ca help me with some advice. I have been dating this guy for Alison two months as typical at the begining he was very into me calling, getting together ect. I even left for a week and he was texting everyday very involve in my life. He is a very busy guy has lots of friends those marathons and it is very active. When I came back he presented me all his friends so I saw this as a good sign. The only problem is that he kept saying he is a egoist person which I quite didn’t understood because so far everything had been fine. Then 10 days ago we saw each other and I ask him about the egoist thing becaus he kept repeating it. He told me that he was going through a period where he needed space and to do whatever he wants to, to be independent. I didn’t see this as a problem since I am usually a very independent person. But after that he started to withdraw, that weekend he didn’t call me at all. I have to accept I did the mistake of asking if something was wrong on Sunday. He answer everything was good with me but he needed some space as he told me before. Do to that I back off. Didn’t heard from him until Wednesday when he call me apologize for being distance and told me that he just needed some time on his own. And that he was going to be busy due to some friends things and work until the following weeks that he hope I could understand. I thought this was reasonable and said it was ok. Didn’t heard from him after that so I decided on Saturday to send him a morning funny text he read it but didn’t reply. Today is Sunday and he has not reply or text me at all. I am feeling quite nervous cause of course I want to know what is going on, or if he is just gonna disappear all the sudden. Any advise? For sure I am not gonna text again but it is so difficult since everything just started to collapse a week ago.

ReplyFebruary 22, 2015, 8:29 am


Im a bit confused myself, if recently moved states to stay with my parents for a while, well I broke up with one guy recently. So my manager at my old job there starting hitting me up, first little small talk and good mornings, saying he liked me but since he was my manager he couldn’t. Then over the montgs hes shown sexual interesr as well mind you we arent in the same state. So we were constantly texting me and id call him at work and talk about work related things, and hes like cant wait for you to come back ok then like a week ago he just stopped answering my messages. And I know since I worked with him that he tends to work 60+ hours a week there and usually is sleeping when hes off. But I’ll see him on facebook not hanging out or whatever but just commenting I mean so he has his phone and Ive texted him almost everyday the past week so idk if its cause im just battering him, I havent called him out or anything just waiting on a response and kind. the guys i ask say just chill don’t text him everyday he’ll come around and I guess its just instinct because I cant just go see him whenever so I’m trying to establish a constant contact . What do you think, it’s only been a week

ReplyFebruary 20, 2015, 10:39 am

John Aolltet

l am john and l form Ghana

ReplyFebruary 18, 2015, 3:05 pm


I think the whole not texting back thing and expecting to bow down to a guy’s childish behavior is nonsense. If I sound needy because he said he was coming over and never shows up, and I waited for him, and don’t get a text until the next day, 14 hours later mind you, that’s a game. I think expressing my disdain of having to wait around for him is fair enough. So yea, I never got a text back. Tells me I was an option. I don’t play this game about guys thinking we are needy because they pull a stunt like I mentioned. His excuse was he fell asleep. I don’t know anyone who falls asleep for 14 hours and doesn’t at least get up once to use the restroom. I say that’s a tall tale. It’s working on 3 weeks since I last sent my text and he still hasn’t responded. Up until then everything seemed fine. I don’t chase guts so I won’t be the one to break the silence. If he wants me, it will have to be on him.

ReplyFebruary 10, 2015, 2:04 am


I so agree, I would not text him and I would probably block him. Actions speak louder than words.

ReplyMarch 2, 2015, 9:05 am


I totally agree with you, this thing about guys being put off cos you’re needy is totally ridiculous. So we are supposed to put up with anything they throw at us, but if we dare to get upset cos they don’t do what they promised, we are needy and not worth a simple message?? What is that all about??

ReplyMarch 15, 2015, 3:51 pm

Free spirit

Have any of you ever encountered a needy man? I have and it’s not fun. It’s that guy you know you can take advantage of. No matter what you do or how you treat him he’s still around because he’s needy! imagine if the roles were reversed and you acted that way? It’s a turn off for all sexes. Confidence, without cockiness, and independence are turn ons. Desperation and neediness are a huge red flag for self-esteem issues.

ReplyApril 19, 2015, 7:48 pm


AMEN Teri. Loved what you wrote & good for you. And to Eric: seriously?!? If a woman wants attention & interest from a man, she’s “needy”?!? So… if you ask a woman for a date, does that make YOU needy because you want to go out with her or sleep with her? Me thinks this is a just another f***ed up sign of the times & a complete imbalance in gender roles. If a man has no qualms about labeling and dismissing a woman as “needy” for having normal human needs like attention, intimacy, connection, etc, then good riddance to HIM. A man with enough emotional intelligence, kindness and class actually appreciates multi-layered women strong enough to show their soft side, embrace their vulnerability and express their legitimate needs. No woman should try and change or downplay her good [human] qualities just so men like you don’t label her as “needy”. And btw, i have a lot of lovely guy friends who say they don’t want a woman who acts like a man and is always busy and shows no “need”. Or plays hard-to-get games just to prove her worth.

ReplyApril 3, 2015, 9:17 pm

Eric Charles

No… you’re misunderstanding me.

To be really honest, I don’t like the term “needy”… it gets thrown around in dating/relationship articles to a point where nobody knows what it means (other than that whatever it is, they don’t want to be it…)

The only reason I bring it up in a useful way (though it doesn’t always translate… case and point).

To clarify “neediness” when I’m talking about it – no *wanting* something doesn’t qualify as neediness. I want coffee right now, but if I don’t have it right now I’ll be fine… it won’t ruin my day… it won’t make me question my self worth or worthiness in the eyes of others… it won’t make me feel like I’m not OK.

“Neediness”, really, is a state of mind. It’s the state of mind where a person believes they NEED someone else to do something, say something or be a certain way in order to feel OK.

We need oxygen. We need food. We need water. Those are needs.

But the moment someone starts buying into the idea that they need another specific person’s approval, validation, acknowledgement, appreciation, reciprocity, etc… that’s where everything falls off the rails. Note the keyword *specific* person’s approval in the last sentence, any human being needs love and approval from someone, somewhere…

The rest of your comment is just a bunch of spouting off about your opinions about how men are, how women are and how gender balance is. You’re entitled to your opinion… I don’t know how well holding that perspective is working out for you in terms of your happiness, love life and overall life satisfaction… but you’re entitled to have your opinion all the same.

ReplyApril 4, 2015, 10:25 am


It’s perfectly fine to need another person. I agree with Teri, Nancy, Michele, Beay. As you said, we have our own opinions, so do you, Nick. This article is your opinion and your point of view, and shouldn’t be written as the ‘truth’, rather like just your preference.
Like Nancy said, aren’t men tired of the ‘hard to get’ game? Some might be, some just want a transparent face, that actually speaks out her needs. If a woman stays with those, if a man stays with something that bothers him or causes him hurt, it could build resentment over the time.
In this world, we all need from each other. So yes, it could be we need interaction as much as we need oxygen.
On my side, I’m just another woman, with her own opinion. But I do need my partner, I like being with him, and one of the things that inspire me of him is that he is not revengeful. That sometimes I do things that could hurt him, but he always forgives and continues giving me his all. It motivates me, and inspires me. There’s no more games, just forgiveness, and I wouldn’t want to hurt him repeating the action I did before. If we answer anger with angerness, it’s just a downfall cycle. If we answer distance with distance, somebody needs to take the step into closeness again, be it the man or the woman. We won’t leave all the work to the man either, shouldn’t we? And if we live the man who treats us so well, if I leave the man who has been so kind with me, I would be such a fool. It sounds better than thinking: ‘there’s plenty of fish’. If somebody leaves me because I express a need, then that’s their problem, because I too love with all my heart and I have my own life, but I do need contact. But it’s true, there’s ways of asking for that attention. Not with reproaches or demands.
Did you know, that as couples age they stop talking to each other?

ReplyMay 23, 2015, 12:26 pm


I think we both are not old to actually know the truth about dating. Perhaps somebody who has already lived his life would be able to know… Meanwhile, like you said to Nancy, ´´I don’t know how well holding that perspective is working out for you in terms of your happiness, love life and overall life satisfaction.´´ In many years ahead, let us know how your relationships go. If you don’t respect a woman who wants to hear from you, who wants to listen to you, who might look ‘needy’, then that’s your own preference.

ReplyMay 23, 2015, 12:35 pm


Teri, I couldn’t agree with you more! These are suppose to be men not little boys, if a man is showing interest in a woman and swears he’s into her then he couldn’t play games and why are we the bad guys to show concern when they disappear or stop texting? Are we not allowedto speak up out of the fear of being labeled needy, the man I was seeing for 7 months started this foolishness, when i told him his ignoring my text frustrated me, he ignored me even more so as much as it hurt, because I had fallen in love with him, I had to drop him like a bad habit, Good luck ladies, relationships should feel good

ReplyJune 23, 2015, 1:43 pm


Hi Guys, I wanted to add a comment because basically over this weekend i have been goggling, searching pages like this for some kind of advice or recurrence as to why the guy I was seeing hadn’t text me back. Constantly checking my phone, social media, worrying, so many thoughts and stress. We had been seeing each other for quite a while about 6 months I would say, he would tell me he loves me, can’t see himself without me blahblah. So on Sunday night after he had ignored me all weekend and said he was ‘staying at a friends’ he was tagged in photos from this girl saying ‘Had a lovely weekend with this one’ my heart sunk, there was photos of them hugging and smiling had having a whale of a time. We messaged back and forth and he said he did love me at one point, he was scared to tell me, he lied, he had been sleeping with her and so on.

What I want people to take from this if they read it, and i wish my past self did it is seriously don’t waste another second. I wasted my whole weekend freaking out while he was off with another girl, I wont get that time back. Go enjoy yourself, have fun, see friends, take your mind off it. I’m not saying its going to happen to you, usually guys are just generally very crap at texting back, but it has happened to me and what has worrying the whole weekend and messaging him done? Nothing he still did it, he was always going to. So if he is a decent guy forget about it and he will come to you. If he is like ‘my guy’ I don’t want that kind of person in my life anyway so don’t waste any more time. And to be honest I feel relieved, today I left my phone at home and thought about myself for once.

ReplyFebruary 2, 2015, 4:23 pm


I’m sorry that happened to you! But have good advice — relax, don’t worry, and take care of yourself!

ReplyFebruary 6, 2015, 9:40 pm


Hi Girls, I wanted to add a comment because basically over this weekend i have been goggling, searching pages like this for some kind of advice or recurrence as to why the guy I was seeing hadn’t text me back. Constantly checking my phone, social media, worrying, so many thoughts and stress. We had been seeing each other for quite a while about 6 months I would say, he would tell me he loves me, can’t see himself without me blahblah. So on Sunday night after he had ignored me all weekend and said he was ‘staying at a friends’ he was tagged in photos from this girl saying ‘Had a lovely weekend with this one’ my heart sunk, there was photos of them hugging and smiling had having a whale of a time. We messaged back and forth and he said he did love me at one point, he was scared to tell me, he lied, he had been sleeping with her and so on.

What I want people to take from this if they read it, and i wish my past self did it is seriously don’t waste another second. I wasted my whole weekend freaking out while he was off with another girl, I wont get that time back. Go enjoy yourself, have fun, see friends, take your mind off it. I’m not saying its going to happen to you, usually guys are just generally very crap at texting back, but it has happened to me and what has worrying the whole weekend and messaging him done? Nothing he still did it, he was always going to. So if he is a decent guy forget about it and he will come to you. If he is like ‘my guy’ I don’t want that kind of person in my life anyway so don’t waste any more time. And to be honest I feel relieved, today I left my phone at home and thought about myself for once.

ReplyFebruary 2, 2015, 4:21 pm


So I need advice! I met this guy at the beginning of december at the shooting range and we hit it off immediately. After our first date, we started hanging out 2-3 times a week. He introduced me to his roommates and shared information about his family. He also invited me over to his friends house for new years. He is not afraid of pda at all since he is super affectionate. However, after new years school started back up for both of us and I have only talked to him once this month. He hasn’t been returning my txt messages and currently its been 2 weeks since I last saw him. When I did see him everything was fine and there was no tension. I am just confused as to what may be happening?

ReplyJanuary 30, 2015, 8:24 pm

Frustrated Woman

I can’t believe I’m going to write here, but I’m truly clueless on how to proceed with this situation and am hoping someone can give me insight. I met this guy on a dating sight about 3 weeks ago. We hit it off really, really well. We hung out an entire day and evening and couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. We text constantly through the day, would skype when we got a chance (most of the time it was 2-3 hr long skypes). He works a job that is really screwy hours so his time is limited. I told him it wasn’t a problem and I thought he was worth it, so I’d be here for him. He came out to see me 2 additional times and it was amazing. He has kids that he hardly gets to see due to his job, so I knew this was going to be hard at times. I mentioned to him that we should go on a date sometime again.. he agreed and followed saying work was going to get crazy busy and he’s not sure he’ll have time, and that this was going to get really hard. I of course being a woman, translated that as – maybe he doesn’t want to see me anymore. So I asked him, and he got really upset with me b/c I implied the thought of it. This happened last week.. ever since he’s stopped texting me, but he’ll respond right away if I text him. I’ve hashed it out with him over text, of which I would have preferred in person but he doesn’t have time. His last response was that he’s working his ass off and it’s not what he wants, but perhaps we should just stop since I keep assuming it’s a lack of interest. I apologized to him and told him I didn’t realize he was that busy with work since we’ve not really talked lately, but told him if he wanted to see me again, I’d be here. He never responded to that text and I’ve not heard from him in 2 days. I’ve been in abusive relationships, and I’m use to guys walking away, I explained that to him… so I know some of this is my fault b/c I always think that’s what they’re going to do. What confuses me is why would things be so great, and suddenly he stops texting all together unless I initiate? He’s on facebook and has time to check that, but not send a “hey, good morning”? It doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t know how to take it. I want to send him a text and “fix” it, but I’m not sure I should.. I keep blaming myself b/c I shouldn’t have questioned it… but I also know that if you’re interested in a girl, sending a random hey what’s up every once in a while, isn’t that hard. I don’t need a guy to be texting me constantly. It’s just a very empty feeling and honestly I’m about ready to give up on dating. Being a single mom is hard enough… but dating thrown in is super hard. So I guess I’m just wondering what my next steps should be. Just leave him alone and figure it’s over?

ReplyJanuary 30, 2015, 12:07 pm


Hey, I’m in a similar situation, I met this lovely guy online, we got on really well, he came to my house just for a coffee and a chat, then the next weekend we ,met again, this time we went for a few beers and then spent the night together. He texted the next day saying thank you for an amazing night, and since then (3 days ago) I have heard nothing from him. He works a lot,too and has 2 young kids who he adores,which makes him even lovelier in my opinion. We agreed on so many things, we have loads in common, we had fantastic sex, I thought he really liked me,but now I haven’t got a clue what to do next, as I don’t want to seem needy ( big no no as I ‘ve been told by many). Before we actually met, he used to text me Good morning, or just How are you, little things that made me smile and showed he was thinking about me, but since our weekend together, that has stopped. I really don’t guys. Is it so hard just to text hi, are you ok? …Wish someone would expalin to me how a guy’s mind really works. And yes, I have texted him since, but his replies were just short ,and seemed lke he didn’t want to text. I wish I knew what went wrong, especially since he seemed to have a great time when we were together….am I just reading too much into it?

ReplyFebruary 3, 2015, 9:31 am


This guy’s name isn’t Omar off of pof right? The same exact thing happened to me. I knew better than to be on that website…

ReplyFebruary 4, 2015, 3:21 pm


No,lol but I did meet him on pof…

ReplyFebruary 21, 2015, 2:30 pm


I have only been on 2 dates with this guy and we’ve had a blast both times. Kissing, holding hands, being very loving and him asking for more dates. However he wanted to show me some things on his computer for a job he wants to push me to get at the organization where he works. Upon showing me the computer, I noticed and a folder of “Michelle” on the computer., great, we’re certainly aren’t exclusive and I’m on another dating site that I don’t really care for (and I met him on a dating site) — however when a man has a folder of a woman, (as my ex boyfriend did) that raises a RED flag. He wasn’t hiding the but the file, yea, he was. I personally don’t have files with men’s names on them; I think that’s a bit bizarre. If you have a whole folder, why aren’t you with them? Then, “ooops” he says when he pulls up a photo of him and another topless gal from a photo shoot. Point? He’s doing it on purpose, not sure why. But my attitude is now, I don’t care if he texts back. Then he texted me this morning after I texted him an image of something we had in common yesterday; not expecting a text back but just sharing and he replied this morning with an off-the-wall question. I told him he had the wrong person. He replied with another off-the-wall answer like I could read his mind. I get that this guy is a bit scattered but ultimately if he doesn’t care, I don’t. I’m not waiting for any man to respond and play whatever game they do even if they’re busy (we’re all busy) and I get the “guy” thing when it comes to texting as my brother does the same. So I just “forget” quickly and move on.

Why bother? If he’s not that into you, why should you be into him at all?

ReplyJanuary 18, 2015, 5:36 pm


so we’ve known each other for a few months. Initially he started telling me he loved me,i felt it was a bit too soon as we’d known each other for just about 2 weeks then and i told him so. He’d always ask me to go with him some place or the other,and he’ll come over occasionally. I guess things changed for the worse and i dont know why. He never asked me out, though he’d let it slip that he wanted to be with me. I guess i like him now and everyone else seems to think we’d make a nice pair as he introduced me as his girl to all our mutual friends. Did he like ever like me? And did this sudden change come as a result of something one of us did?

ReplyDecember 25, 2014, 11:26 am


I look for girl too talk you are too go out with me be my girlfriend you text me 8069396971

ReplyDecember 20, 2014, 7:01 pm


So me and this guy have been talking for like 5 weeks now. I’ve only seen him twice and we haven’t really talked on the phone so we mostly text. Now one time he told me he thought I wasn’t interested so I started texting him more to let him know that I was. I thought everything was okay last week because I told him to tell me if he didn’t want to talk to me and the only thing he said was I didn’t say that. And the next day he started texting me at like 6 that morning. But after that day it seems like I’m the only one texting. And for someone who claims they’ve liked me since we were in high school he isn’t acting like it. He says he’s always busy but if you really want to talk to me you would make time for me. So I don’t know if I should give up or just tell him how I feel. I don’t want to bug him but I don’t like just sitting here not knowing if he actually wants to talk to me or not. I’ve never really had a boyfriend and I’m not good at dating so I don’t know what to do. My gut is telling me to just text him and ask him what’s going on but I don’t want to mess up anything because I do like him.

ReplyDecember 18, 2014, 1:08 pm


I have been having experiences where there is a fault with the cell phone provider…a text was sent, but it doesn’t even show up until hours later. I have someone that I really like, we see each other once in awhile, but we aren’t together. Recently, he sent me a text shortly after one I answered him back, but it didn’t reach my inbox until the next morning. It is dated the day before and tells what time he sent it, but it wasn’t in my inbox until the next day. Keep that in mind…that might happen. Another thing, I couldn’t imagine getting upset with him for not hearing from him for 5 hours. He has a busy career. Also, I don’t always answer him back right away because I didn’t get the message due to being asleep (I was taking a nap, I work nights). Sometimes, I miss him for about a 5 hour period because I didn’t check my phone…I didn’t know I got a message and I was busy.

ReplyDecember 17, 2014, 4:49 pm


I need to get this off my chest, i’ve been seeing this guy for like some weeks. He says that he really likes me but i feel like it ain’t showing and i get so confused. When i ask him when we’re gonna meet up he’s like ”whenever you wanna” what i mean is HE PUTS NO puckin efford in this whatever it is i don’t even know, but i really like him so i don’t really know what i should do

ReplyDecember 3, 2014, 2:27 am


I need to get this off my chest, i’ve been seeing this guy for like some weeks. He says that he really likes me but i feel like it ain’t showing and i get so confused. When i ask him when we’re gonna meet up he’s like ”whenever you wanna” what i mean is HE PUTS NO puckin efford in this.

ReplyDecember 3, 2014, 2:24 am


Hi, I have been going out with a guy for about three weeks and we met four times and had a very good time. He texted me everyday to ask how my day was and after all of our dates he had sent me a text, what a good time he had. We were then supposed to meet on sunday and he proposed an idea on what to do on Friday evening. I texted him back on saturday about the idea, that I liked. No answer, so on sunday noon I asked when we were going to meet, but he didn’t answer. I then went out with friends for the afternoon doing bouldering and texted him in the evening, that I was now too tired to meet anymore and how his day was. No answer. Later in the evening I texted him, that I don’t think it is very nice and that I don’t like, that he didn’t text me back and give a reason for not showing up. No answer since.
He was usually very reliable in meetings and when we had set a date, but he became sick, he let me know well in time. So, I am really confused about his behaviour this time and am starting to get worried whether something even has happened to him. Am I overreacting?

ReplyNovember 25, 2014, 2:01 pm


It’s so easy to hide behind a text or phone calls, anything can be said by anyone and keep things going or mysterious or confussing each other. I say if your wanting a relationship thats on the level or true efforts by both parties, then it must be done in person. Texting each other after a relationship has been established is fine. You both are each others best friend and lover or what ever you both established.
women not all men are players, but you have your sweetness caring hearts that can be messed with quite easily. because that is part of our nature. It does not mean that we need to be meaner to men. Men are not all the same either, so if you are getting mixed signals try not to expect much from that man, they are confussed too about who and what they want. They are feeling out the other person, like are you a crazy B. he has to watch out for are you smothering women, do you eat too much are you a big spender, do you have bad habbits.. these men are scared, even though what they want from you is sex only. We women can be scary to men.

ReplyNovember 25, 2014, 11:53 am


Great advice if you want to learn how to get the wrong guy to chase you. But why would you want someone who goes MIA or who disappears or who is innatentive. Yes, he’ll see you as a challenge, because deep down women aren’t into men who do these things and men feel it, become insecure and see it as a challenge to get her to be “into them”. Until it isnt a challenge. I’m bored with these types of men.

ReplyNovember 23, 2014, 9:10 pm


I totally agree with you, I am bored with these types of men too. In fact, I think I will stop bothering alltogether with men, it’s just too damn complicated.

ReplyFebruary 22, 2015, 6:26 am


I need some insight with this man that I am seeing. We have been together for about 3 months, I have met his family and vice versa, he calls me his girlfriend, and we usually see each other in person twice or more a week. All that is good. He used to text me frequently then that tapered off. I didn’t think too much of it because we both work full time and are full time college students as well. Then, as of a couple weeks ago, he stopped initiating texts all together. He does respond when I text him though. There have been days when I have been busy and not messaged him. The next time I see him he always brings up when I did not text him. He even told me that he complained to his mother that one time that he had not heard from me all day. I have pointed out to him that he can text me as well. He just said “I know.” What I do not understand is why he suddenly stopped initiating texts, and if he’s just expecting me to message him all the time. Of the two of us, he is the one with the busier schedule, my preference would be for him to message me when he has time to converse. Which I have told him. He said to just text him whenever and he will answer me when he can. I’m not sure what to do. Do I say something to him about him not messaging me? Do I just accept that it’s up to me to initiate every conversation? That to me does not seem equitable. Is it a big deal at all since the rest of the relationship seems fine? It’s really getting on my nerves that unless I put in the effort to make contact, I won’t hear from him. Thank you for reading this and any insight is appreciated.

ReplyNovember 21, 2014, 8:58 pm


Too bad they never replied to you… I’m in a similar situation. My bf and I are in a serious relationship, really in love with e/o. But just hours after I’m with him, I’ll see that he’s on fb (it will show “active 1 min ago”) and text him, and 1 out of 3 times, he won’t respond for a couple more hours. This happens often during his work day and also late at night. My hunch is that he’s looking at sexy pics to ” relieve ” himself cuz he has a super high sex drive (3-4 times per day at least). But I don’t understand why he won’t just reply to me. Even just “hey I’m tired, just taking a fb break” or something! Instead, it makes me feel really hurt and suspicious that he is blatantly ignoring me :(

ReplyApril 6, 2015, 3:16 am

sherry anderson

Hello my question is I was dealing with this guy for 4 months and now we not speaking everytime I send him a text msg or tried to call him he refuse to respond bak to my calls and msgs. I really liked this guy and since he was being a a**hole I stopped am I doing the right thing by leaving him alone or should I keep trying to win him back I need your help on this one.

ReplyNovember 21, 2014, 8:02 pm


I went on a date with a guy, we made out ans had a nice time but we didn’t have sex. He said that he likes me (and I like him) at last he did invited me to his place but I refused and I said next time. We even confirmed the next date, and over the weekends we still text and all, the night before the date he still say we are meeting up. But then Monday he just disappeared and won’t responsed to my text.
I can kind of get it if we slept already and he just want a one night stand but we didn’t. I really don’t know what’s going on?
You girls have any thoughts?

ReplyNovember 11, 2014, 10:54 pm


What if he takes very casual if we dont respond and we want him more?

ReplyOctober 14, 2014, 9:48 am


I’m confused as to why this guy will say sweet things to me;will say he wants to see me etc ; everything will seem fine then he will go hours without answering then will ignore me for days without explanation. I’ve tried to cut him out of my life once and for all but he always seems to say the right things to make me let him back in. He’s told me he’s bad with his phone but I don’t believe that since he always seems to have it near when I’m with him. We’ve been off and on for several months and his lack of communication and effort is the biggest problem. I know I’ve come across as needy in the past and I’ve apologized for it. I just don’t know what to do since i don’t think he’ll change since it’s been like that since the beginning but now it’s way way worse. I just don’t feel like I can justify sleeping with someone who can’t even take the time to respond to me.

ReplyOctober 12, 2014, 10:30 pm

Beautiful River

I am in the same situation. It is so frustrating. The hard part is that I like him and he is sooo cute. He is also very sweet. The lack of communication is horrible. I feel i am always the one to text first, to suggest an event, etc. What my friends have told me and now I am going to tell you is ………. We need to realize our worth. We are worth more than to be chasing someone who is only giving us a crumb here and there. If we play “hard to get” , they should start seeking us out more. It is just so very hard to do this. I am so ready for a relationship. Maybe we are just in different places? Please let me know how it goes.

ReplyOctober 28, 2014, 11:49 am


Gabrielle and Beautiful River, I so much agree with both of you! Guy would text back in a normal time after first meetup like if we were together already, good morning when Im at work what hes up to , how am I etc very sweet and cute, texting all day till evening good night for days… its was so nice then he took a long trip far aways to be off from the world mobile internet etc, after that he was distant, needs to think about life and stuff (I thought its over but why Idk) then another text “nothing is wrong, why would be? you can text whenever you want ” another weird thing.. now it goes hours or days when he answers but always in such sweet way that It makes me love him more even though I was pissed off, playing hard to get? not a good idea with an introvert and second why would I? its playing to be who I am not, Im honest, Im going to be myself so should everyone, and everyone should respect and love themselves as WHO they are, not playing games. needy? not my problem, if the other side isnt communicating answering or hiding the true feeling , wht are we supposed to read their minds? I care, i fell in love of course I want more contact with him to get to know eachother better, but he doesnt tell me the truth, is either “nothings wrong, being sweet” or yes we can go there and there or not texting…
take the courage and tell the truth! better than this “waiting game what eachother thinks lets guess”

ReplyNovember 9, 2014, 3:34 am


Hi there.. I could really use another guy’s take on this..I’m pretty sure i messed up big time with this guy, by getting needy and realizing my mistake too late..

My case is somewhat complicated.. I was dating this guy for 6-7 weeks, it was pretty intense, though we hadn’t put a bf/gf label on our relationship, we had agreed not to see other people. In the beginning of our “relationship” he hadn’t started back up on his studies yet (he still had about a 4 weeks summervacation left). We were together 2-3 times a week, and when we weren’t together we texted a lot..
Though we weren’t together for long, and I really don’t know if we would work longterm, we really did have a strong, intense 6 weeks, with lots a passion and sexual attraction. He several times told me, that he was really into me, and that he had never had this much in common with another girl before, and that I turned him on like crazy..
Things went wrong, after he started back in school, and got busy.. He stated taking longer to reply to my texts and didn’t pick up when I called.. Unfortunately instead of keeping my cool, I panicked sending multiple texts to get him to answer – upto 3-4 text with a few hours between them, some he would answer, others got no reply. It got to the point where I demanded to know where we stood (if he had lost interest in me).. He kinda avoided answering me, but apologized saying he had just been really busy with school and work..
After that I sent a long heartfelt text, saying that i was sorry if it was going to end this way, cause I had really gotten feelings for him, that I was infact in love with him.. He didn’t reply..
About a week after that text, i realized that I had made a major mistake, by sending all those texts, making me come off needy and desperate.. So I made another two mistakes; first I sent him a long text apologizing, saying that I had realized I had messed up, pleading him to accept my apology.. Second I had to go to the store where he works, and of course he was there.. I didn’t approach him, but I ended up wandering around the store, for a bit too long hoping to make contact, so that I could just say “hi” – I stopped myself but i’m afraid he did see me, making a complete fool of myself, looking like a crazy stalker, even though I had a legit reason for coming to the store – yikes!! :(

It’s been 3 weeks since he last replied to my texts.. So in terms there was no real “breakup” he never said he didn’t want to see me again, he just stopped answering me, after that last text he sent..
It’s now 11 days since I sent my apology, and a week since I made a fool of myself at the store (where I have to go back next week by the way :/ don’t know whether to hope or fear that he is there again).

I still miss him, so much! I can still smell him and feel his arms around me, when he hugged me goodbye the last time I saw him.. If I could only turn back time and unsend those texts, I would have done it already…

What am I to do? Is there any way I can redeem myself, now that I realized that I came off needy??
Is there still a chance, even though we weren’t together for that long, and eventhough I’ve messed up so badly?? Or is all hope lost??

ReplyOctober 12, 2014, 6:14 pm


I’m going through the same thing right now.

ReplyOctober 22, 2014, 12:37 am


Spend more time on yourself, ignore him for awhile . If he responds, ignore his texts for like two days. He’ll eventually respond if he’s still interested. If he doesn’t respond for lets say a month, call him, ask him what’s wrong and if you think he’s worth it give the rel. time. If not cut him off completely. I don’t know about you but if someone does not give reason for their absence and is beginning to give one worded answers i’m annoyed to the extent of cutting them off. Please note however that if you come in contact with them be polite.

ReplyApril 24, 2016, 10:24 pm


If a girl texts a guy saying to ‘leave her alone’ after arguing about relationship where he says he ‘wants’ to be with her but she doesn’t believe him, will he think her comment to leave her alone mean it’s over or will he think she needs space?

ReplyOctober 12, 2014, 12:18 pm


What I don’t understand is why, when the guy finally decides to come back around, are we expected to welcome him with open arms and give him all the same love and attention, knowing he was with another girl, lost interest, etc? As if nothing ever happened.

ReplyOctober 12, 2014, 10:45 am


Hi Eric and Sabrina, this is an exceptionally useful article on the possible reasons why a guy doesn’t text back. However, i still have a heart burning question as to why some guys do reply, but they do it with photos? Does this signal that he wants to end the conversation or something? Hope you can share with insights on that. Thanks!

ReplyOctober 10, 2014, 1:59 am


I didn’t realise wanting to finnish a conversation was being needy.
I’ve always thought not saying “ttyl8r” (etc) before you leave was rude.

nothing makes me loose interest faster then when a guy just drops his phone without even signalling that he’s going to go. Just a “soz, busy” or the like will be fine, stuff happens, phone conversations aren’t the most important thing in the world.

However, silence just shows how little you care for the people you talk to.

ReplyOctober 5, 2014, 12:53 am


I feel the same exact way with this guy I’ve been seeing/involved with for past 3 almost 4 weeks now. Initially things were going great as far as communication and seeing each other goes. Lately however, it is usually a hit or miss with whether or not he even bothers to return my calls or texts. According to him, we’re bf/gf, yet he doesn’t seem to act like it a lot of the time. My biggest problem with him lately has been one moment we can be in the middle of texting, especially pertaining to seeing each other again, then right on the dot like clockwork, he always ignores my messages (always after 4pm when he gets done work) until he has to get up early for work next day, or sometimes he will flat out ignore me altogether, even though to my knowledge I never said or did anything wrong. To me, that doesn’t seem like normal behavior for someone who claims to be single. He knows it’s rude and how ignoring me like this especially in the middle of a conversation bothers me, yet there’s no consideration on his part about my feelings. I highly suspect he may be married because his behavior and lies point that way, but I’m still unsure. Sometimes he will even get mad over something dumb on a whim that I have no clue about, and take it out on me by ignoring me. I’m getting tired of feeling like I’m on an emotional Roller coaster with someone who half the time I think secretly gets off on playing with my heart and feelings. It’s not fair to me and it hurts alot. Whenever I do try to communicate to him how his actions affect me, he seems to always know the right words to say to make me fall for him all over again. There have been plenty of times where I’ve considered just ending it and being with someone who will treat me so much better, yet the very thought of me talking to or going out with another guy just on a no pressure kind of date or something, makes me feel sick with disgust as if I’m cheating, even though he could very well be doing the same behind my back, especially if he’s really married. Oh not to mention the fact he lied about having kids. The first time i found out about the two children, i was initially upset but became accepting over it. Then a week or so later, he tells me about a third child that he failed to tell me about, but claims he just found out about it that night. Yeah right. Keep in mind 3 children total, with two baby mamas. The whole thing sickens and upsets me. I don’t know why I continue to allow this man to do me wrong and then allow him to wriggle his way right back into my life and heart. Since being with him, I’ve lost count on how many times he’s made me cry over something he said or did and to my recollection, not once has he ever bothered to say he was sorry. Who does that to someone?!? I think maybe he continues to keep doing it to me because he knows I’m dumb enough to continue being there to put up with it. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, like maybe this is all in my head. Regardless, not once has he ever tried to reassure me of things or help calm me down if for example, we’re on the phone and I’m crying. All he says in response is “what’s your issue?”, or he’ll talk to me like it’s no big deal that I’m hurting. Yet I still find myself in love and completely smitten with him. My mom and grandmother told me when they first found out about him, to ditch him because he’s no good, yet here I am continuing to welcome him back with open arms no matter how many times he hurt me. What’s wrong with me?!?

ReplyJanuary 4, 2015, 8:19 am


So, if I have to play games and “hard to get” to make a guy interested, is he really worth my time? I’ve dated around and I’m over the mind games. I feel like when I find someone I’m really a match with, there shouldn’t be so much mind games. There should just be honesty about how we feel. Shouldn’t it??? Then again, things never seem to move forward with me :( do the mind games ever end???

ReplySeptember 26, 2014, 3:17 am


I feel the same way! I’m too old for these freakin’ games. Guys say women play games…BOY it’s not US, it’s THEM!! I get so sick of it! Why can’t I just plain old like someone if I like them & show it w/out fear of him pulling away! It’s ridiculous! I’m very caring, affectionate & thoughtful when I really like someone & it always seems to backfire on me!

ReplyNovember 19, 2014, 12:14 am


I agree whole-heartedly.

ReplyDecember 19, 2014, 9:40 am


I can 100% relate to what you just said. I’ve experienced the same exact thing as you and it is so frustrating. It drives me nuts when I find myself liking someone and the feeling tends to be mutual, yet in order to keep them hooked and interested in me, I need to play hard to get?!? What for? I feel like if you like me then you like me and will do whatever it takes to be with me. I heard from various dating advices, how guus love to chase and pursue and if a girl makes it too easy for them, then he will lose all interest in her. I feel if that’s the case then so be it. Playing hard to get is not who I am. I’m always very open with how I feel, etc. If a guy can’t handle that without the need for mind games, then he probably wasn’t worth my time anyway.

ReplyJanuary 4, 2015, 8:32 am

Samantha Braiterman

I read your article and I am in No Contact right now. Friday will be three weeks. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been that hard even though we work three doors down from each other. I avoid walking past his job and if I have to pass by to go to the bank, I try to obscure myself so I’m not seen. Truly, I love him and miss him. So, he’s tried to walk after me to get me to turn around, but I ignore him because I feel that if he was truly making an attempt to talk to me, he would make it evident. He tries to bump into me, but now I try to avoid leaving my shop when I know he’s working.
The reason that no contact has been easy is because to me this will show me what he really feels. I left things friendly. When he said that he needed time and space, I told him that I respected that and I told him that he will always have a friend in me. I do feel this way, still I’ve been very sad. Despite my pain, I’ve done nothing to be spiteful and in front of people, I’m my happy normal self. I’m going out with friends as usual and I’m generally acting as normal. My broken heart is just one aspect of my busy life right now.
I moved into a new place and gave him a key. He’s had it all of this time, but if he doesn’t want me, why hasn’t he returned it? There is plenty of opportunity to give it back without seeing me. Also, how do I react when he contacts me? In some ways, I’m upset with him because he’s left me hanging. I know it’s to get me to come to him, but I know if I do, I’ll never know what’s really in his heart. Part of me wants to throw my arms around him and hold him but the other part wants to punch him in the neck.
We had a great relationship. We were friends for almost a year before anything happened. I made sure that he respected me before anything happened because he’s the first man I’ve ever felt this way about. I felt like I wanted to know him. I’d like to think that he misses me too because I was good to him. There wasn’t drama until he started overthinking things. I took it all on the chin and let him go when he asked me to. As I said before, I told him that I would always care and left it at that.
So, why hasn’t my house key been returned and how should I react when I do see him?

ReplySeptember 25, 2014, 12:47 am

Courtney Lee

So there’s this guy that I have been txt,talking to for about three weeks. We have never met yet. He txts me and will ask me questions and seems to be interested but never concludes a convo. He will just txt disappear on me and then call a day or two later like nothing ever happen. Told him that it bothers me and he said sorry. Got a little better for a day or so and then he disappeared on me for the sec. weekend in a row. Was very hurt by him doing this so I did get a lil txt weirdo about it. Felt bad and then I txted to say sorry and now I feel like I went about EVERYTHING the wrong way but there’s no way to take my reaction back so I guess I’ll just never speak to this guy again. He completely has ignored me now for three days.Never dated or did the online thing so I’m very out of touch with what to do and not do.

ReplySeptember 15, 2014, 6:38 pm


I’ve encountered a similar situation as you. Do you think it is possible he’s married or already involved with another woman? Sometimes that is the reason for why a guy disappears like that. I’ve actually had that be the case for me and it’s painful.

ReplyJanuary 4, 2015, 8:37 am


Hello Eric,

28 year old and I (24) have been talking for a month and a half, but only texting, every day. We say our ‘good morning’, ‘good night’, and ‘I hope you have a great day at work/school’. We both like each other (he told me he does and he confessed he would visit my job because I am there). I took the chance. He knows my mother since they are good friends for about 3 years now and she really likes him for me.

About 5 days ago I asked if i can call him for the first time a few days ago (since texting is, maybe cold to communicate?), he made an excuse that he was cooking and mentioned after dinner. I told him okay and to enjoy his dinner. Nothing. Next morning he texted last night he cooked, did his dishes and went to bed right away. I told him it’s okay and to have a great day. I didn’t bring it up anymore but he could at least tell me he doesn’t want to.
I put most of the effort by seeing him 3 times and what is weird is he is not always flirty on text but in person, he is very flirty and sweet to me. 1st time: We only chat for 5 minutes since I stopped by before he left for work. 2nd time: I stopped by to bring him coffee in the morning and stayed over for only about 30 minutes and chat and watched TV. That day that was when he started hugged me from behind and was very sweet to me. 3rd time: A week and a half ago I visited him around nighttime for only an hour since I left for school the next day (an hour away) and that was when he kissed me and hugged me from behind and everywhere, being very sweet. Of course nothing else beyond that (he knows I never had a boyfriend before). He wants to take it slow and wait for a month for a relationship to see how things go when I asked him if there will be a chance since we kissed the third and last time I saw him (since I go to school now). Plus he told me he works so much and is afraid he won’t give me the time.
I guess he stays to his word by taking it slow because he texts less and when I don’t message him first at all, he messages me but took about 1-2 hours to reply when I replied back even if he is home from work. The last time I ever heard from him was three days now. That never happened since we texted non-stop. The last message I received from him was what was I doing and if I have a lot of studying to do and I replied that I am not studying but doing research for a project that is due in a week and a half and just want to be ahead. That was at nighttime and he never replied or the next day after… I would admit that I flirt saying ‘I miss you’ or ‘Wish you were here’ sometimes but he didn’t respond to them and now I see that maybe or yes I was being forward with the flirting since he said he wants to take it slow?
I don’t know what I should do? I wish I know what is in his mind.
I want to talk about it with him, how I feel since we told each other in the beginning we can talk about anything but don’t know if it is the time? If yes, text or in person to talk? I already have a message telling him how I feel (not anything asking him like why he didn’t text) but if he does message me (which I am not sure if I should wait a few more or just send it) or better yet just text I hope you have a great day like nothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

ReplySeptember 15, 2014, 2:24 am


I read the email today about texting/calling behavior of men and the analogy that men can go weeks without texting or calling their buddies or people they socialize with and pick up where they left off is not just true for them, but for women as well. We can pick up relationships with friends and family exactly the same way.

However, it’s not a valid analogy, because the difference between anyone losing touch with friends and family and then catching up again or socializing again is that a relationship with those people has already been established. These relationships did not get to that type of comfort zone without a lot of time and experience together. Therefore, in a dating or romantic relationship, the time and experience together needs to be established before that kind of neglect can be overlooked.

You cannot expect women (or some men) to go days without contact from their romantic partner and have the same reaction as an old friend, family member or co-worker that has already an established relationship with the person. A good relationship requires time together, quality and quantity. To excuse the guy for not texting or calling in a timely manner is simply not acceptable if he wants a good relationship. I find the comparison absurd.

ReplySeptember 9, 2014, 8:18 am

Mary Jo

I totally agree with you Lola…it’s definitely different when it comes to a friendship and when it comes to romantic relationships. The guy should make more of an effort to respond to the person he is interested in if he wants to keep her.

ReplySeptember 23, 2014, 12:58 pm


I am a musician, I met a guy in one of my concerts, he was following me on youtube though for 3 years (but he did not know I will be playing, it was by coincidence). We spent twice an amazing 3 days together (because we live in different cities) and we have an amazing chemistry. we have not slept though with each other yet, but I can tell he is deeply into me and introducing me as his girlfriend to all neightbours etc. He also asked me few times to move there. Now we have not met for two weeks, and mainly we were talking every day. BUt I was busy and went on a holiday, but he could have come to see me, now I am back from my holiday he supposed to come but I feel like he does not want to make the effort to make this work (even though when we are together everything is so perfect), so I told him to visit him next week, and he agreed but since two days he stopped the communication with me.
I feel like that he does not want to make any effort, unless he has to do nothing and I just visit him.
I do not know how can I turn this around and how long I have to wait to answer to him. The worst is that he is on phonestrike and we only use facebok to communicate, and we only speak a bit once a day.
An advice should be nice, or shall I just leave this as this is too complicated? I never had a long distance relationship but I feel it would be a shame to leave this as it started like a real love. I also would not mind to move there as I am a musician so my job is to travel anyway, but this is shit like this.

ReplySeptember 6, 2014, 7:51 am


As a guy, I find these comments both heartening and saddening.
I’m saddened that so many girls, like me, have found partners who are opposite their communication needs. I completely understand wanting to talk about little parts of your lives, to share the details, and really be interested in everything about the person. I think it’s completely fair for you to expect the attention and respect you’re not getting!
It’s also saddening from a selfish perspective because I’m the communicative one in my relationship. The woman I’m strongly attracted to seems to be crazy about me emotionally, mentally and physically while we’re together, but is extremely bad about communication via phone or text when I’m not in front of her. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she brings up baggage from a very troubled past and can’t justify treating me the way she does. But she doesn’t stop either, which I put up with because there ARE a lot of things about her personality I love. She’s nearly perfect when we’re together, but that’s only so much time with work and other commitments.
Gotta run, but to all you ladies… If your communication, respect, or attention needs aren’t being met don’t settle. Don’t believe for a second that all guys are cast from the same mold (though there’s definitely truth to the stereotypes). But there’s likely one out there who doesn’t look at you as needy, who you’ll never have to chase (except in the bedroom), who will accept you as you are and love communicating all the details.

ReplyAugust 18, 2014, 4:03 pm


That’s an awsome comment :)

ReplyAugust 19, 2014, 11:15 am


Years later I’m reading this and wondering where the hell you live :)

ReplyApril 17, 2019, 9:17 am


I would just like to say, I’ve been reading your site for a while now and whole heartedly taken the advice you put up on here and my dating life has been fabulous ever since! Ladies, take this guys advice! Not only will you start to feel more confident and empowered but the QUALITY of men you CHOOSE to date will go through the roof!

ReplyAugust 18, 2014, 3:33 pm


Which advice was it that you followed?

ReplyNovember 19, 2014, 12:24 am


Eric Chase, S.O.S.

I’m so confused. I met a guy a year and 3 months ago. He pursued me initially, but was going through a divorce with children involved. In March I told him I was giving up because I deserved more. He replied saying he wanted to concentrate on his children, his work and himself. Told him it made sense and would contact him at a time when I could keep boundaries in place and not push him to give more than he wanted to give. In May, I sent him a text letting him know that if he still loved his wife to fight for her to which he replied there was no more fighting for her. I didn’t reply to his message because in my mind I was done. He texted me 3 weeks later asking me how I was doing and I replied. Everything started back up from there. He told me he wanted to take things slow relationship wise because he didn’t want to feel overwhelmed. He said he wanted to be more open because the relationship hadn’t gone anywhere last time and wanted to try this. All seemed well, we were seeing each other once a week since we are both busy, and would text during the week of possible. We last saw each other two weeks ago and we were fine. We made dinner and watched movies and he even answered a phone call from his sister and told her he was about to have dinner with me. I thought to myself well we’re going slow, but it’s progressing somewhere. We were both sick the following day, so I offered to bring him soup. May have sent one too many texts offering, but then I didn’t know whether he even liked soup. After finding out this piece of information I let it go and went to bed. Didn’t hear anything from him all week. Sent him a message that Saturday checking to see what him and the kids were up to and crickets. Went to a friends for my birthday and she said something comical and I texted him what she said and in an offhanded way told him it was my birthday. Didn’t hear anything from him Saturday or Sunday. Finally, Sunday my over analytical brain got the better of me.I told him I didn’t know why he had withdrawn, but that I deserve someone that will at least wish me a happy birthday. Then, I sent another text suggesting he meet with me so we could talk things out. After that, I texted that if he didn’t want a relationship we could try a friendship. He replied saying that I shouldn’t have to put up with the BS that came along with him. Told me I was a great girl and that I deserve better. He told me that he just couldn’t get himself there. Replied telling him that it wasn’t about the BS, but about wanting communication. I then texted him how I felt about him and told him to at least consider the friendship. However, still hurt from the whole situation I had myself probably created I texted him again and advised him to not contact me for a while so that I could mend. He replied that it was never his goal to hurt me. I texted again asking him a couple of questions. That evening I went to work out with my trainer and he asked me what was wrong. Anyway, he pointed out to me that a friendship with someone I love isn’t going to be very satisfying. I texted my guy again letting him know a friendship with him would be impossible because of how I feel and told him I would miss him. Still plagued that night with questions. I texted him back and asked him to meet me and that I was really tired of sending texts because it really is a pure means of communication because it can be so often misinterpreted. I also left him a voice mail. No more replies. Texted him one last time thanking him for trying.

I know I will never get an answer, but I need a guys take on it. Also, did the nine long text messages and voice mail probably push him away forever?

ReplyAugust 16, 2014, 11:15 am


Meant to put Eric Charles. Sorry for any typos. IPhone’s auto correction is the pits.

ReplyAugust 16, 2014, 11:39 am


You definitely went overboard with that amount of texting, especially if you weren’t getting replies. Neediness is a huge turn off, and unfortunately it is easy to accidentally portray that through texting. In the future, I suggest that you text no more than 2 times if you get no response. After that, pick up the phone. If no answer, then leave a voicemail explaining your feelings WITHOUT coming across as needy. There was a time when I was considering going exclusive with a girl I dated several times, and she texted me while I was at work about “where this relationship is going”. This was a pretty in depth question, and I wasn’t able to reply diligently with a manager breathing down my neck, so I quickly shot back “at work”. Instead, she proceeded to say “this is not that hard of a question”… followed by “what’s with the silence?” 30 min later, followed by “so i guess it means you don’t care enough to reply”… followed by “I think we can only be friends”. Needless to say, the neediness and lack of respect for one’s work period became a huge turn off and I decided to never see the girl again. Be careful.

ReplySeptember 10, 2014, 12:32 pm


Those weren’t my type of texts and I was in no way telling him that he should answer me right away and they were all sent after work hours. It was as if I was working out my thoughts through text and trying to understand. Either way lesson learned to not think out my thoughts through text messaging, that’s better left for journaling.

ReplySeptember 25, 2014, 1:49 pm


Wow! I am learning SO much. After being in a 16 year relationship (which I now realize I was a “doormat”) I ventured into dating a guy. Keep in mind I never “dated” since cell phones came out. Texting and dating is all new to me. We started hanging out and agreed texting would be best since we are both quite busy. They started out fun, flirty and occasional. Turned into somewhat more frequent (mostly on my part) and looking back I cringe at some of the things I was texting. Not “neediness” per say but just random things. Occasionally would get a response but wasn’t surprised when I didn’t. He is a VERY busy guy with his job. I was told this by him and a few people. This is the busiest season of the year for him. Not wanting to be a “doormat” ANYMORE I decided to read blogs like this to understand. It has been 3.5 days since his last text (which was just a quick hello, which I’m great with). I am assuming he is busy with work. I am assuming multitasking is very difficult for men. I am assuming he still likes me. However, the old part of me wants to call him out if this goes on longer than a week. I also don’t want him to think I’ve lost interest due to my lack of texting (I have not texted him and do not intend to until he gives the green flag). He expressed his fear of starting a relationship at the busiest time of year. I have always been cool with this only because I don’t want to rush into things but I can’t help but feel anxious from this recent lack of texts. Damn you technology!!
Am I doing the right thing? Should I do any different?

ReplyAugust 16, 2014, 11:03 am


So I met this guy on social dating site. We were messaging each other on their for a couple days then he asked to text him so I did and it was constant for a few more days..then they started to dwindle until it was nothing. I messaged..”hope everythings alright. take care” and nothing. Two months later I get a random message from him. He was long out of my phone by that point. I’m like what happened to you, you never responded. He said it wasn’t good timing blah blah. I’m like alright and we texted constantly for a week then I finally met him. And more texts/calls for another week. Then we hit the “bed” so to speak. After that didn’t text me for almost a week. I’m like listen that’s “toolbag” behavior I don’t like being ignored. He apologized and we kept texting/talking for a couple more weeks. It’s very hard to see this guy. He travels a lot with work and is away with military, etc. I would say roughly every two weeks. He says I def want to see you, maybe Wednesday. Wednesday comes around and don’t hear from him. Whatever I do other things. We we made plans the one day and I messaged him that morning, saying can’t wait to see you! He acknowledged. That night nothing. I messaged him asking when he was coming over. Nothing. The next morning I texted him saying..”I don’t deserve to be treated like that or lied to. Don’t bother keeping my number.” Didn’t get a reply. Until two weeks later I got this long message asking for a second chance and blah blah. Being gullible I gave him the second chance, but I did make clear he has to earn my trust and I won’t tolerate what I don’t deserve. Since then whenever I text him he pretty much always texts back with a timely response. Him initiating has been slim, maybe every few days. When hes away on travel or military I hardly ever hear from him. But when I text him it seems like he appreciates it. I feel I was the nice one sending a nice text every few days to show I care. But I need to see he’s as vested as I am. This whole thing has probably been over the course of 3 months since he’s gotten a hold of me. Not sure what I should do at this point and if he is truly interested.

ReplyAugust 14, 2014, 11:11 am


As a guy, I can tell you that he is not interested. When a man is truly intrigued by a girl, they will respond, especially if after a 2nd chance. At first, I can say it might some things you have texted that conveyed neediness, but based on the way he goes back and forth like this to see you, I can almost sense that there are other females involved.

ReplySeptember 10, 2014, 12:50 pm


Thanks so much for your input.since I wrote this last he has stood me up again. I emailed him and said I was no longer interested. I deserve strobe who really cares about me. No response from him until almost two weeks later where he says he’s free all week to do dinner some night. I didn’t respond and deleted it. Now it just seems like he’s toying with me. I have no intentions of speaking to him again. It baffles me how people can treat others this way and lie. People like that will never be truly happy.

ReplySeptember 10, 2014, 9:42 pm


Hi Eos

This sounds VERY familiar….can I ask what state you are in ??

ReplyJune 21, 2015, 1:18 am


Honestly, I think this is available for relationships where both of them are to scared to get involved. Whenever I met a guy whom I really liked and wanted to be with, and viceversa, everyhing went smoothly. We both showed freely our interest, our appreciation, and, in the end, our love. And both of us saw a begining in this way of behaving, not an end! So, girls, if you have to play hard to get, in order to keep him interested, he’s not the right guy!

ReplyAugust 5, 2014, 3:41 am


Plain and simple… No calling , no texting… He/she is not that into you!

ReplyJuly 20, 2014, 12:44 am


I’ve been taking to this guy for.over a month now and we only text once a day is that ok or is he not that into me and when we do text iys only for a few minutes

ReplyAugust 25, 2014, 7:20 pm


I have a similar problem. I feel needy and agree with how to properly act towards that behavior… but i am currently 37 weeks pregnant. So whereas i would normally have no problem making other plans or pushing past it, i am incredibly hormonal and im having a hard last few weeks. Im in so mucb pain its hsrd for me to really go out for long periods of time. It wss never like this before i wss pregnant, but he always knows ill pretty much be at home. So theres no mystery on my part. So practically i feel needy and predictive. I hate it, but i feel like theres not much i can do while im pregnant. :(

ReplyJuly 15, 2014, 12:43 am


Please help me. I am soo confused. I’m the girl you described who relies too much on my so called boyfriend to reply when I text him. Reason I say “so called boyfriend” is because he was my ex and we started a sexual relationship in January and nothing more. One time around either March or April, while we were in the heat of the moment he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend again. I said ok just to not ruin the moment, but I didn’t mean it because I didn’t think he meant it (we both literally just got out of relationships). But we talked about it again a few days later and I told him I’d give it a try, but don’t try to give me a title if it’s really just the sex. I said this because I knew I had real feelings for him from our previous relationship that I kept buried down to not think of our rendezvous as anything more. So he calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend to his face, but I’m still waiting to be treated like a girlfriend pretty much. We haven’t gone out once, he’s been car less and been putting he money towards fixing his, but I’ve mentioned how I have a car and I really just want to be out in public for once. And he is awful with responding to texts just like the article, and I’ve mentioned numerous time that bothers me but nothings changed. I’ve even brought up again before I became too emotionally attached that if he just wants me for the sex, be straight up and don’t lie to me about it because I was fine with just that. So now I’m in deep, and I feel I’ve made myself to easy for him. Even when I disappear for a while (hang with friends or family, hell even just catch up on some reading to show I got my own things goin on and I can’t be available every time he chooses to want me) to see if he misses me nd if I worth fighting for keeps, I go have a great hot moment with him and it’s back to me waiting to hear from him again. What do I do now? I feel like I need to move on but I’m sex whipped, which was the whole reason I went back, never had any better and I had 2 boyfriends after we first broke up 4 years ago. 2nd boyfriend I was with for 3 years soo that’s still confusing to me as well. I honestly feel like if he’d just say I don’t want u I could move on easier but he keeps telling me he loves me and crap when I see him, but when I’m not around him I’m nobody to him. What’s his deal and please I desperately need to know how to deal with this? I feel so stupid for being treated this way.

ReplyJuly 11, 2014, 8:29 am


I recently bumped into this guy that I’ve known for a while but lost contact with.
I had honestly forgotten his name and he had forgotten mine.
So he texts me saying ” this is my number ,hope you remember my name”
and we were basically going back and forth just joking about who’s going to to give out their name first.He knows my brother so I was able to get his name from him.
Then he asked me “when am I taking you out”.
So I replied “when you get my name”
His response was “If I get your name will you let me take you out?”
and then asked if he has a time frame, so I gave him 2 days. He sounded pretty up for the task .However it’s been 9 days since and I’m not too sure what that means.
Should I text him or just wait until I bump into him again?

ReplyJuly 10, 2014, 6:38 pm


I met a guy on a “social network”,, After about 10 messages back and forth, he asked me to call him; which I did. (blocked of course for the initial call). We talked about an hour. We continued to message on the site for about a month. I gave him my cell number and we texted during the day. He stated that he wanted to make a commitment and that we should continue talking and texting. Then, without any type of warning, he stopped answering texts, I missed one phone call from him, and then he no longer answered his phone,, I wrote him on the “social site” and asked him if he wanted to just be pen pals, I was alright with that, he never responded. Although, I was really liking this guy, rather than call him out or invest in any type of drama, I decided to just leave him alone. If and the operative word is IF, he ever decides to text or call, this experience has taught me to just move on.. I would suggest that to any girl or guy..

ReplyJuly 7, 2014, 4:26 pm


I’m in a similar situation. We spent the night together Saturday, I left Sunday morning and about an hour after I was home he texts me and converses with me, but then it stops. Didn’t hear from him until today around 4:30, he texts me and I responded, but he never responded to my response and I know he’s been on Facebook. He’s real chill and easy going it’s just hard for me to tell if I should text him again, wait until he texts me again, or **** idk it’s annoying lol any advice would be helpful. I think he’s into, but he’s just airhead for lack of a better word idk

ReplyJune 23, 2014, 9:29 pm


That’s what men do if they’re not monogamous. They have a lot more women “friends” than men, have you call only during certain times. My son’s father acts likes he’s not loved by anyone (not true- there’s 2 women that love him and we both have children with him), plus he’s cheating on 2 other women he’s “in a relationship with”, but neither know it yet because they haven’t been with him long enough. It’s the same story with all of these serial cheaters. If you decide to stay with him, just remember, you choose either to be happy or to tolerate his lifestyle. The only thing worse from being with someone, say 6 months, is 6 yrs.

ReplyJuly 6, 2014, 10:21 pm


Ok. So after reading the book his not that complicated’ and a couple of your articles I discovered i had pushed away a really good guy i mean i did everything wrongly, after nagging him about not replying to my texts, getting upset about not keeping appointments, i told him to give me space and to leave me alone. Then i felt bad and called over and over again to apologize profusely after which he snapped and i stopped communicating with him.(in my defence am 24 and I’ve never dated before). Any so after following your articles i realize how silly i was now i want to start over with this guy. How can i do that without looking like a confused needy girl, after not talking to him for over 2months and given our history

ReplyJune 23, 2014, 4:38 am


As a relatively self aware and happy person, texting with men is one of my greatest challenges because I over-analyze, think people are playing games and because my personality is to be flexible with my time if I really want to spend it with that person. I’m very much the what you see is what you get person and at my age (29) having been in long term relationships most of my adult life, the texting to facilitate dating thing is new for me.
I recently met someone at work (very unexpectedly), we got to talking and ended up having a drink that very night. Since we work in the same office/city but for different practices our roles at work are quite different. We talk nearly every day either making plans or just checking in. In that first week, we went out three times. This past whole week he’s been much less responsive and isn’t reaching out to me. Our company hosts a huge yearly summer event and he had said we would just see each other at this event since we hadn’t seen each other all week. He asked which after-event I was at, I told him, completely forgetting he might be with his out of town friends and he said he would see me at the place I was at with my account team. We end up leaving the place a few hours later, I haven’t seen him, so I text him and tell him the new venue. He finds me, kisses me and tells me we’re on for Sunday brunch (today) as his friends are leaving on Saturday. He just texted me and told me his friend is still in town and they’re doing brunch. Most of my friends do view this sort of thing as disrespectful, but I know how seriously he takes his career and the plethora of other things he has going on (travel for work, parents in another country, grad school).
He’s not the most responsive texter to begin with but I do agree with Eric that it may just be he was singularly focused on work and hosting some out of town friends of his. That being said, since he hadn’t confirmed what we were doing today, I made other plans to see some friends and run some errands. I’m not sure if telling him I made other plans reinforces that “good behavior/non-doormat” thing Eric mentions or if I sound less interested and more casual then I may feel, which becomes self-fulfilling when he doesn’t take our budding romance as seriously. So I suppose my points are: 1) There is no “right” level of response. On a very fundamental level, if he wants to talk to you, he will text you (and my guy is a phone call type). 2) Clearly I’m all anxious and aflutter because I like him so much, but that doesn’t mean I should forget I’m an independent, successful person who is fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who love and care about me and thus want to spend time with me. I think we tend to forget how awesome we are because we’re wrapped up in how awesome we think the guy is, which drives the need for his responsiveness and attention. Changing where you hang your happiness from is a disastrous thing to do. 3) I’m human – what the heck do I text him back with and say now??

ReplyJune 22, 2014, 12:05 pm


Great article but I have one of the weirdest text issues I have ever run into… I think I may have met “the” guy. Every time I am with him there isn’t a moment where he makes me feel less than content and at ease with his feelings for me and he is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. The only small catch is that since the day we met he on average take 3-4 hours to respond to a text. Each time it is a very lengthy response and he will usually ask several questions but the shortest response time has been one hour. This is not isolated to work hours (because I can understand that – even if he didn’t text me all day) but even when he says he is lying in bed watching tv it takes almost an hour for a response back. It is never a one word response and he is always sweet but I think it’s really weird. I don’t know if I am being needy but in a way I would rather he just didn’t text me and would just call when ever he wanted to say something if that makes sense. I would love a guy’s perspective on this one. Thanks!

ReplyJune 18, 2014, 5:02 pm


Same thing is going on with me! Like he will take hours to respond but when he does its like paragraphs long. I figure if he’s not interested he would either one word answer or just not even respond, but the waiting game is weird. I now find myself basically playing him at his own game and responding hours later, so I guess I will see how that goes. I know my guy isn’t a big texter or the type to have his phone attached to his hip because even when we are together, he will go hours without checking his phone or if it dies he just doesnt care, his friends complain about his shitty communication too. But c’mon if I send you a text and I see you are on facebook, why do you need to wait an hour or worse 3 hours to respond. It’s sad we have to play these games.

ReplyJune 18, 2014, 6:08 pm


Guys…I hope you never tell these guys that you’re upset that they don’t respond RIGHT THIS MINUTE. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but it comes off as really needy and clingy. If you know it takes several hours for them to respond, don’t sit there and watch your phone. Go do something! At least they respond! And long texts, to boot! I’m not exactly sure what you’re complaining about. If you expect someone to not have a life and to constantly be at your beck and call, perhaps you should pursue someone else b/c obviously you don’t have the same communication style or expectations. You should realize that men and women are different. Men, in general, are more laid back and don’t even think about time the same way as women do. So 4 hours to you is nothing to them. They could have just been sitting their relaxing…maybe they had to take the garbage out…do some dishes…use the toilet…walk the dog. Who knows! The point is: you’re making something out of nothing and it sounds like First World Problems. Think of it this way: would you rather they responded right away and gave a short answer without much thought in it? Or took their time and texted you several paragraphs of well-thought-out material?

ReplyJune 29, 2014, 12:30 pm


This has to be the most helpful article I’ve ever read on the subject. I have a wonderful boyfriend. He’s attentive, warm, kind, never backs out of plans, keeps his word, makes me laugh… All the good things.

His texting habits stink. He has two kids he has primary custody of, and an ex-wife that he is good friends with. They spend time together as a family, and there is no animosity. This used to make me crazy. I’m 30 with no kids and no ex-spouse. On top of which, he is military, so there are times where I go with no contact at all. It is challenging, and I used to make myself nuts going on about it. I have several past relationships that were trust disasters, and I was largely skeptical about this.

However, the thing I realized is that if you want to be happy in your relationship, you need to trust the person you’re with and trust yourself. Most of my friends were on the, “This is a load of crap,” boat, and I hopped on the crazy train in the beginning. I still don’t see him as much as I’d like, and he doesn’t text as much as I’d like, but I made a conscious decision to trust him. I have my own life outside of him, and if he can respond to my, “I’m thinking about you,” he will. And if “I” can respond to his, “I miss you,” I will. And if not, I’ll see him on Saturday like we planned. I’ll tell him if something bothered me (because heavy texts to a man are not the way to discuss things) and he tries to fix it. I see that. So I keep my cool. And we are happy.

It’s all about what you can handle. Are there men that are not answering texts because they’re screwing around? Sure. But trust your intuition. Not your friends’. Not all hormones that are telling you he MUST RESPOND IMMEDIATELY. Have your own life. Love him. But don’t make him the center of your universe and the sole source of your joy. You have to love yourself, too. And if he’s not meeting your needs and you have discussed it with him and he’s still not meeting your needs (and think about your real needs…. Do you Really need him to text you all day every day? Really? Will that make your relationship better?), then leave. And leave because he is not meeting your needs and not making you happy.

The thing I had to realize is that when I tell him something bothers me, he tries to fix it. ALWAYS. If he tells me, “Baby, it won’t happen again,” it doesn’t. And that’s huge. And if it’s not something he can consistently do (texting consistently is one), he tells me right away. And I make my decision about whether I’m okay with it. And so far I am.

Being crazy is never a good option. You will always lose. Be happy and stay, or be happy and leave. Just make sure your expectations are reasonable.

ReplyJune 8, 2014, 1:02 pm


My guy will go 6hrs without answering my calls or text. To find out he is with his kids and soon to be ex wife at their house. Its still his house too even though he doesnt live there.I don’t mind the kids but why the soon to be ex?

ReplyJune 6, 2014, 7:39 pm


Been dating a man for 9 months. Very loving, attentive & every weekend we spend together. We take turns and spend one weekend at his place and the other weekend at my home. We love to cook and have long conversations. Our phones are set aside and we hardly watch any TV! It’s just us enjoying each other! We go to car shows, movies, trips and restaurants. He has met my family and my daughter but I have yet to meet his family.

The only thing is that twice a year (for a week) he travels alone to Virginia to visit friends. He said he was close to their dad and after their dad passed he continues to visit. I don’t mind but don’t like the fact that if I text him, cause I never call him, he takes hours to reply. I hardly text him cause I don’t want to bother him but would text saying hi and it would just be ignored. This time he didn’t reply at all and it’s been 24 hours. I won’t text him again either but it does bother me.

Hate the fact that I’m beginning to think negative because when he’s back home (we live in NY) he doesn’t act like that. I don’t even know if I should question him when returns or act as if I was just too busy doing my own thing that it’s no big deal! What would be the best approach here?

ReplyJune 1, 2014, 12:51 pm


Hi hi, such a good post. I received really great advice from a guy friend recently to realise that we (the female) may NEVER know why the guy stopped all contact. And to try and “fill the box” with some sort of rational answer, well, we may never be able to fill that box, and we should not worry about that missing information. So often in life, we never know the real reason, and we can manage! This friend said to me, if the guy made you feel good – told you he cared about you…just believe it, and if you feel like texting him again, do so – simply because it makes you feel nice to do it – not because you are expecting something in return. Maybe he’s scared for a commitment, maybe he ran into an old love and things re-kindled with her, maybe he said he liked you, but then thought he cannot really pursue anything so he is suppressing those feelings by cutting off contact. If you really want to send a funny joke, photograph, quote – even just a “thought of you today” message is fine, so long as it is just from the heart, expects no response, like sending a newsletter to a subscriber who has not “unsubscribed.” Then, if after a week or so, or a day or whatever is your comfort time limit, if you decide you don’t really enjoy non-responses, then you can just choose to stop texting. It’s a pretty powerful way to take control of your side of things.

Some women here are saying if after one text there is no reply, the number is deleted and they move on. Others say they keep texting and feeling more frustrated until they send the angry messages – I would say to just send the nice ones, and stop when you feel the need to be rude or angry. That’s your signal that you’ve reached the end of your tolerance. Keep your self-respect.

With a couple guys that did this to me, I found that these guys who suddenly stop getting the nice messages, eventually do reach out again – and they reach out in a very kind way. Usually, I’ve moved on by then, but it is a nice feeling to hear from them. I think if you send the mean one – clearly you will never hear from them again, as who would want to contact the crazy bitch who dissed him on a text?

ReplyMay 17, 2014, 11:55 am

Eric Charles

Great comment. :)

ReplyMay 17, 2014, 7:27 pm


This couldn’t have been more well said.

ReplyJune 8, 2014, 12:34 pm


If you really want to send a funny joke, photograph, quote – even just a “thought of you today” message is fine, so long as it is just from the heart, expects no response, like sending a newsletter to a subscriber who has not “unsubscribed.”
— Good comment. The key is to “expects no response”. Without expectation, your disappointment will be greatly reduced. Though you will still feel disappointed at times, i think it is much more manageable. I speak from experience. :)

ReplySeptember 13, 2014, 3:05 am


There’s a guy at work who I habe noticed for awhile. We would cross paths here and there and we would say, “Hi” to each other. One day, I had a work related question that I had to ask him. I had taken this opportunity to strike up a conversation. I sensed some flirting during our conversations. One day as we were talking he called me bluff on something and gave me his number (to see if I was all talk or action). A month or so later, I decided to text to see when he would be free for drinks (mind you, he had asked me out for drinks a few times and I had to take a raincheck). Fast forwarding, we had a few text conversations and even hung out. After awhile I noticed he would play disappearing acts such as texting me back 2 days, a week later or not even text back. Something just didn’t add up. I know he has feelings for me more than a friend, but then why the hesitation? He mentioned that he didn’t want anything to get back to work (due to his past history mixing business with pleasure) that is why he is so guarded. I had asked me if he wanted me to back off because of his fear of something getting back to work, but he told me, “no”. I’m not understanding all his mixed signals. He tells me that I need to step up my game, but yet, he isn’t giving me anything to work off of. I have stopped texting him (he hasn’t texted me either) because I’m not into these mind games. But I hate to say, he has really gotten in my head.

ReplyMay 4, 2014, 2:45 pm


*habe = HAVE*

ReplyMay 4, 2014, 2:49 pm


Update: I now know why the “guy” either doesn’t text me or takes a few days/weeks to text me. Come to find out, he is engaged. When I confronted him about it (3 weeks ago), his response was, “It’s complicated, but in short, yes but on the edge of being called off”. Funny how he is engaged, but gave me his number and continues to flirt with me. Sorry, but I don’t have time for these games, but most importantly, I am not a homewrecker.

ReplyJune 2, 2014, 1:25 am


Great advice! However does this still apply if you are in a committed relationship? I know my guy is into me , he passes your quiz and it’s obvious, but he still doesn’t respond to my calls or texts . I’ll text him 5 times for every 1 that he replies to. Usually it’s me saying something about my day and asking about his. When he doesn’t respond I’ll text him hours or a day later with a new comment or question.

It’s probably along the lines of your comment that guys have a one-track mind. My boyfriend tells me that he didn’t respond because he was working or busy etc. he isn’t lying, but if it were me the first thing I’d do at lunch break is respond to his text. Or when I got home id respond. Even if the text just says “how was your day?”

So do I just need I accept that I’m never going to get a response to all my texts or is it a legitimate request that he should try harder?

Or should I take your advice and stop being so needy? It’s not as if I can make other plans , these texts are not about making plans they are just communicating within our relationship. He knows my plans are with him that night or the next so what point is there in acting like I’m less available than I am?

ReplyApril 19, 2014, 7:11 pm

Eric Charles

Let me respond to a few of your points.

First off, let me make something clear: if I am effective at helping women, my site will be popular. People will buy my book and recommend it to others. And (most important to me), both men and women will have better relationships.

You’re suggesting that I’m trying to protect some “guy code”… based on what I just said, how would it serve me to give untrue, ineffective or unhelpful advice? Plus, on a personal note, I value people who are good to other: considerate, helpful and honest. The suggestion that I would have loyalty to some “guy code” would mean I’m supporting something deceitful, damaging and unhelpful to the world. That would be against my nature — I write this stuff because I want to help make this world a better place in my own small way.

Nowhere in this article did I suggest that there’s an excuse for a man to go two or three weeks without texting you. You can’t seriously think I or anyone else would suggest otherwise…

I do agree that it would be silly to get upset because a guy didn’t text. It’s in our best interest, always, to live our life in a way where we protect our good mood.

If a guy doesn’t text you back, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect you. It DOES mean he didn’t text you — and that’s all it means. Projecting an INTENT onto his actions is a surefire way to make yourself bitter and unhappy – it’s a bad habit, you’re not a mind reader… nobody is.

This also extends to your suggestion that no text back “most likely” means he’s playing games. No it doesn’t.

You say “not all but some men get off on juggling as many women as possible”. Ummm, massive generalization here. That would be about as intelligent as me saying, “Not all, but some men enjoy being serial killers.”

Taking the very very very worst of a group of people and magnifying it to suggest it’s the norm is irresponsible and unhelpful to readers. The effect is that you instill fear and guardedness in the audience, which makes their love life harder since high walls don’t work well in relationships…

Don’t get me wrong, people would do well to be aware that there are some bad apples, but your tone is more pro-paranoia than a healthy does of awareness.

If I let you know that in winter time, there might be potholes, then you know to watch out for potholes. If I scream, “Oh my god, you probably won’t make it to your destination because you’re going to hit a pothole, your wheel will rip off of the axle and you’ll get into a horrible car crash and die immediately on impact!!!!”, then that does less to serve the audience and more to just make them paranoid and anxious. See the difference?

Then you mention sociopaths… again, you’re acting like the nightly news… super-magnifying the very worst of things as if it’s the norm.

Everyone has “stories” about bad stuff that’s happened. However, it doesn’t serve a person well to make that the screen/lens that they view the world through.

It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel happy. And it poisons your vibe and the mood of others around you — when people take on a view of the world or lens like this, they often feel like the world attacks them and that life is a miserable place.

If only they knew how much their perspective, attitude and mood affected how the world treats them…

The places where you introduce things like the guy having an “itty bitty penis” as an explanation for his behavior… that comes off like you are angry and bitter about men.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but it sounds to me like you feel you’ve been screwed over by a guy (maybe even a few guys) and that anger comes through in your writing.

I know you read my stuff and you began by saying that you agree with 80% of what I write in my articles. I appreciate that and I appreciate having you as someone who reads my stuff.

I’m taking the time to write this because it’s an opportunity to help get people to a better place. I want you to feel happy… at peace… I want you to feel OK… that you don’t need to have high walls anymore.

I know that some people may have left you feeling hurt in the past. I’ve experienced that feeling too, many many times. And I know how it feels to be so bitter and angry about things that have happened that it feels like poison is flowing through your veins… it makes you feel sick to your stomach… the pain, the anger, the wish that you could somehow set things right and make the “bad” people pay for what they did.

You’re a good person. You wouldn’t have written this comment if you weren’t someone who wanted to help other women who are going through a painful struggle. I’m not trying to attack you here, I just want to invite you to a perspective that feels better so that you feel happier in your life (and your love life).

Your lifestyle, perspective and choices determine how happy you can be. Let the happy thoughts, actions and perspectives be your guide – when you’re happy and clean from negativity, you’d be amazed at how much love you attract from everyone.

Hope that helps.

ReplyApril 19, 2014, 10:53 am

Jessica Anne Newman

I never said YOUR giving guy code. I said over all…I agree with the majority of what you say. But some guys are so full of it It’s laughable. I actually consider you very helpful…unlike some guys out there.

ReplyApril 24, 2014, 6:00 am

Eric Charles

Ah OK, then we’re good then. Hehe :)

Thank you Jessica Anne – I appreciate that. And I appreciated your comment too… it got me to think and add new thoughts to the overall conversation on this post, so thank you for that.

ReplyApril 24, 2014, 11:12 am


Help need advice. Been dating a guy since the end of 2013, we would see each other every week. He even took me on holiday. When we got back everything continued and we even started spending more time together. However recently he has been flakey and distant. I understand owning your own business is stressful and time can be limited but what has changed he was busy before but made plenty of time for me…..but now he has no time at all it seems.

My question is should I cut my losses and just leave him alone to build his empire?

ReplyApril 12, 2014, 4:35 am


I know a guy a year ago online. He’s very smart, successful, fun & generous so always surround by friends/ colleagues. He treated me so nice, brought me find dining places, can always stay at his place, intro me his friends but he disappeared, no reply to my texts. So I told myself I like him much as fwb but he never wants relationship so just keep the nice memories & forget him.
New Year I met his flat mate & his flat mate said he’s not in town & he also can’t contact him.
This year March, he contacted me. He said he was not in SG, his job was so sh*tty, he been stressed & lost 15kg, he left his job & he got better one, back to SG, all good now & hope I don’t angry that he disappeared.
Then we started hang out back as usual, he treated me very nice again. He booked & paid Cambodia trip for me though I said I will pay. My birthday he accompanied me too but blame to myself I happen to ask him what’s my bday gift, he replied holiday not enough? I felt so bad for asking, kinda demand to him. After that he avoided me. Once he replied my hi I told him that I actually wanna apologize him in person for what I asked during my bday. I didn’t mean it, just came out a word, I’m sorry. I’m just human with flaws. Despite I deliver breakie to him, helping his flat mate for new job opportunity, all my tests, my last phone call, he totally ignored me. Though he booked & paid my flight, he didn’t contact me anymore so no holiday, no him, just absolute ignorance.
What I intentionally say a word have that much impact for a Gemini Guy?
Kindly advise from man’s opinion please. Many thanks.

ReplyApril 9, 2014, 2:22 am


PP, I think he feels SUPER unappreciated…..He gave you a vacation… a PRETTY awesome one and you didn’t even give him a proper “Thank You”…TOTALLY unappreciative…He probably feels totally taken for granted…I would be (I’m NOT a man but I don’t think a lot of men give vacations as birthday gifts). Imagine how you would feel if you did ALL that he did for you and he gave you the response you did…You may have pushed him away forever..some men, this is a permanent deal-breaker. Sorry!!!! Only time will tell..only time will tell. :)

ReplyApril 10, 2014, 1:37 pm


Hello all
I wonder if I could get some help. I’m rather clueless when it comes to guys, I met my current bf 6 months ago whilst i was in India, he did the usual thing of chasing and wooing me with constant phone calls and messages even after I told him it was unlikely to work out as I was 4 yrs older and was splitting my time 50/50 between India and England. Regardless we met almost everyday there after for the remainder of the time that I was there which was about 2 months . Quite soon he expressed how much he felt and disclosed personal info about himself and certain traumas he had been through, he even cried in my arms at one point. I then returned to England for 2 months over Christmas, I noticed that his messaging became not as frequent and it was me making more effort and we skyped only once a week, I missed him a lot and he occasionally said he missed me but that I would be back soon.
When I returned to India he was still not messaging or calling as much as in the beginning but continued to meet me nearly every day after work other than a week when he was unwell, in the last few days he expressed how he felt happier and content in life knowing that I was in it as he felt I actually cared about him and wasn’t using him for money and contacts like his friends. He also opened up and expressed how certain comments I had made had made me feel or hurt him. If I have a problem he is the first to sort it out, and organised my transport to the airport, (but did not come with me because of work) I am now back in England after spending 6 weeks there and have been back a few days. There has been no initiation of contact from him, I called to say I had arrived and then messages the following day to ask him if he was well, he replied ok, and when I asked how work was, that it seemed busy, he did not respond. I decided to do a disappearing act for a little while so haven’t called or messages for 2 days so far and have heard nothing. I know he’s had his heartbroken before and has said in the past that he doesn’t want to get hurt, he is quite sensitive and doesn’t generally talk if he’s upset,so I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, I don’t want to hurt him, but really want him to miss me and fight to keep me in his life…….. ( he has also said his parents won’t accept our marrying as I’m so much older (indian parents) so this is another source of my insecurity, however he has said that he wants me in his life forever and is hoping to come in June …..please help.,,, really don’t know what to do…..

ReplyApril 3, 2014, 11:52 am



Never done anything like this before but bascially i’ve been seeing this guy from around 2months now- we met through my sister as he added me on facebook and we started talking then it went from there.

we spend alot of time together when we can and we have met each other familes- ive also met his son however I still just dont know whether he likes me.

we do talk quite a bit but only if i text him first as understandable i know hes not a texter and he will ring me if he hasnt heard from me but that isnt all the time..

He has his son most weekends which is great as it really makes him happy and sometimes I will be part of it depending on my work patterns or whether he wants me to be there but Im worried that maybe im just there to keep him entertained until the weekends.

I suffer with high anxiety and paranoia so I’m not sure if its just me being needy and insecure!

he tells me that i’m going to ruin things if i keep asking like this as it isnt fun me giving him grief all the time.

I really dont know what to do

ReplyApril 1, 2014, 6:49 pm


I think you need to relax. Dont pay attention too much to the whole thing. Don’t go out with him everytime he asks. I think that way you feel like you are in control of your days. You can’t compete against someones child or affection. You have to know what you are getting yourself into and understand that you will be #2 in their lives. If you are not ok with this then stop dating him. Paranoia many times comes from lack of confidence. You have to be confident of what you have to give someone else and understand it is their choice to either appreciate it or not and your choice to know when it is enough.

Good luck!

ReplyApril 2, 2014, 10:38 am


Life is a journey. When I was little girl I had this unusual perspective on life. I always thought how awesome it would be if we all could find a way to love one another. Down deep to core of my soul is a solid unbreakable mass of love. A life giving force that feeds me and others. Weird, I know. But you what? It sustains me. Most every man in my life, either friend or lover knows what my hearts consists of. I don’t even have to talk much and yet they feel it. As a result they feel safe with me. I cherish that because it lights up my life. The men who do disappear on me are normally forgiven, why not! Sometimes I disappear too. My soul will always be free. I find it ironic, because I am free, I expects others to be free too, and then they end up freely bonding their souls with me. :) I love that because we are now at a freewill to choose our paths, and if they would like to walk with me on my journey how awesome would that be. Maybe for a short time or maybe for a little bit longer. We’re all at different times in our lives but the most interesting ones are they who choose to walk with me for life. You know who you are :) We’ll conquer this thing called life together! hehe Yet as for now I am 28 and single. For sometime I accidently got caught up in that vortex of darkness that seems to be infusing chaos in so many hearts and minds. So glad I got ahold of my self and remembered who I really am deep in my soul. As I get older and I’m starting to love myself again, i’m staying away from the things I cannot control. Thus, I’m realizing how simple life really is all over again. And now I can’t wait for the next guy to cross my path, perhaps he’s on an awesome journey himself. If he wants to be friends, okay and if not that’s okay too. No worries :) And now I need to go to bed. Take Care everyone.

ReplyMarch 6, 2014, 2:54 am

Jai Dee

You have your head and your heart on straight. Enjoy.

ReplyMay 10, 2014, 10:43 am


Excellent. Love this.

ReplyJune 5, 2014, 3:35 pm


Just loved what you wrote…sets things right for many people:) Thanks!!

ReplyAugust 13, 2014, 8:34 am


so my crush that likes me hasn’t called me yet after saying he would call me after he leaves the gym why wouldn’t he remember to call me the last he txted that was on the 27 now its march 2nd and no txt still.u know in the beginning we started txt was jan 16 we started off well he wanted to get to know me and we flirting and all I didint show any signs of neediness for him to chase him away. so iam just wondering why he has not contact me yet??

ReplyMarch 2, 2014, 9:43 am

Jennifer Lavigat

ok so this guy has a lot goin for him self he likes me I like him so I txt him yesturday night and I was wondering why didint he answer back to my question was it because
he was still busy working on writing up his paper for school or just didint want to write back and why was it something I said ??

Here the convo :
ME: hi how are u hope ur not workin ya self to hard lol but I did want to ask u a question u can call or txt .nite later

Him:Hola señorita I’m doing a paper right now we can text wassup?

ME: Just wondered what made u see that made u say that I seem like a nice girl ( personally in your opinion) I meant to ask this when we first started texting ?

ReplyFebruary 26, 2014, 3:42 pm



My bf and I have been having issues, but we had a fight and I left. I tried to talk with him after, but he isn’t interested in conversation and it’s been 5 days and he hasn’t tried to contact me.

ReplyFebruary 21, 2014, 6:22 pm


I am involved in a similar situation, and needless to say, I am quite baffled. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
So, I met this guy online and we talked everyday via text for about 5 days straight, before he asked me out. I thought it would be more casual to go out for drinks at a very lovely bar located inside an exquisite upscale hotel. Let me just say that our evening went VERY well. He opened up about his life and hurdles that he has been through, I did the same but was very careful of not sharing too much information. We literally held hands the entire time that we talked. It was like we had know each other for years. We were having so much fun that we decided to leave the lounge, and go to a hookah bar and just relax and smoke. We held hands while he walked together, and even held hands while he drove. Our chemistry was amazing! When our night finally ended, we kissed goodbye, and he dropped me off at my doorstep. I had only been in the house for 5 minutes before he texted me saying that he felt an extreme attraction to my beyond the physical, and that I was a rare jewel to find. He said that a person is only as beautiful as their mind, and that he had some many things to express to me when the time was right. He also stated that we must see each other again soon.
Now, for the cliffhanger…The next day he had some problems at work (he manages a car dealership), so I barely heard from him, but were still communicating. The next day, NOTHING all day long, until around 7pm, which I ignored because I was reading a book that I was heavily invested in. He stated that he had been sleeping all day (he was out all night entertaining some guys from an event that he sponsored the previous night). He then sent me another text about a half hour later asking how my day was. I responded to him, and received no reply. I sent him a text before I went to bed saying that I would love to get to know him, but felt as though he was putting some distance between us. Then next day he responded to that message around 12pm, saying that he wasn’t trying to, and that had been dealing with a lot of things the past few days. I waited 2 hours before I responded, simply because I had class, and I simply stated that I understood and hoped that he was able to get everything sorted out. NOTHING. No response, the whole day. At this point, I am simply confused. Apparently, we had such a great connection, great chemistry, and he is thinks I am a rare jewel, and wants to see me soon, then just completely vanishes. Help!?

ReplyFebruary 13, 2014, 12:10 pm


Hi just finish reading your story, and I had something similiar happen to me. The only thing I can say is let it be. Well first I notice the article was published on 2/13 and it now june. But anywho, and this could go for future issues….just let it be. Continue with your life, now if you can’t keep him off your mind, then CALL HIM and leave a voicemail message (sure fire way of him seeing that you called) and just state you was calling to see what was up and how is everything and to call you when he gets a chance. Therefore the ball is in his court. Well I hope that help or will help.

ReplyJune 20, 2014, 9:12 pm


I met a guy online and we decided to go for some drinks. We had such a great time and i felt that we really hit it off. At the end of the night he tried to kiss me, but i gave him a kiss on the cheek instead ( I am not used to kiss on first or second date). We went out on saturday , he did not call me or text me in 4 days. I didnt know what to do because i really liked him and its frustrating because it has been two years since i liked someone like that. After the 4th day i decided to text him since i had nothing to lose. He asked me out , and we went for a second date. We still had a good time, but i didnt text him saying i had a great time as i had done after the second date. The only time he texted me was two days after asking me about my business trip without greeting me at all. I respoded the same way and he hasnt text me or called me since then. I dont want to play any games and i showed him i was interested, but i dont want to be the one persuing him, calling or texting him. what should i do? it has been a week and nothing. I was the one who reached out to him before , but i will not make myself available to him or chase him. He had previously told me that he sucks at texting and the even his close friends give him a hard time and complain about it. so do you think he might call or text, i really like him and he showed me he was interested, but i guess he wasnt after all.

ReplyJanuary 24, 2014, 12:06 pm


It’s been just a week so I think you should give him a benefit of a doubt. As eric mentioned in the article. When guys are busy they tend to focus on their work rather than dealing with something that they can deal with later. Just make your own plans live your life and don’t wait around for someone. You said you had a great time on both dates so be confident and focus on something else and if he feels the same way he’ll eventually text or call you. :)

ReplyJanuary 31, 2014, 12:14 pm


It’s more of a question than a comment. Since last year I noticed this really good looking guy at the gym and I began to just casually make eye contact with him. I guess he noticed me too because he started to make eye contact with me too. We never met, spoke, introduced ourselves or anything but the strangest thing is we start to glance at one another everyday and smile, mouth “hello” and still never speak. I was wondering why he would never come up to speak to me, then one day I noticed he had a wedding ring, then I saw him with his wife and kid. I was more surprised than hurt. So I began to leave him alone and look at him or mouth hello, but it started up again. Finally up to a few weeks ago I went into a store and he came in right after me, we finally spoke to one another and introduced ourselves and basically told each other about our jobs but nothing about marriage or anything. Now we speak with politeness when we find ourselves in the gym in close proximity and we still check each other out at the gym. Tell me is this strange for a married man to speak with a n available woman who is a complete stranger when he is married, or is just being friendly? He doesn’t do this with another women that I’ve seen. Is he into me or thinks I’m attractive? I notice him always looking at me even when I don’t initially look at him. I just want to know what to make of it. I’m not going to pursue him or anything, I just feel bad for his wife. I wouldn’t want my husband to be speaking or looking at a complete stranger on a daily basis for over a year. Any guy out there who can decipher this man’s thoughts or motivation?

ReplyJanuary 15, 2014, 11:28 am


Last week I was stuck in the airport for 5hrs and I started talking to this guy who was waiting for th same flight as me. He seemed very interested and shared his number and asked me out for dinner. Initially I was hesitant but as he seemed nice I gave him my number and agreed to go out. Next morning he texted me and we spoke for a bit. He didnt really ask me when I would like to go out for dinner but he gave me hints like he can drive me around and stuff while talking. Later he did not text me. It’s been a week now. I texted him 2 days later and he replied. He was polite and nice but he never initiated a conversation after the first time. Is it alright to text him again and ask? Please advise. Thank you !

ReplyNovember 30, 2013, 10:35 pm


I’ve known this guy for a few months now, but as friends. I’ve always liked him, but I could never tell if he liked me. One day, about 2 months ago, we were hanging out and we kinda slept together. . . .I didn’t think that was going to happen, but I don’t regret it. I told him the next day that I really liked him and I wanted to know if he liked me. He completely avoided my question, so I dropped it for the time being. So yesterday I tried to ask him out on a date. And he didn’t respond! I asked him while he was at work, so I was patient, but he never answered. . . .I’m not really sure what to do from this point. Any advice, please?

ReplyNovember 15, 2013, 8:57 am


So. After having a crush on a guy at work for over a year, finally gave in to flirty email exchanges and went on a date. Had amazing night. I live a few hours away so don’t work in same office. For next couple of weeks we text all day every day. Made plans to meet up. Slept together and went out for food and drinks. Had great time, again. Now he’s stopped texting me and is virtually ignoring me. He does have a lot going on in his life (caring for sick ex partner) but I can’t help wonder what I did wrong? Was it because I was too honest about my feelings and how how much I like him? I still need to see him in work, so need to keep cool. I feel a bit foolish… Any advice?

ReplyNovember 1, 2013, 4:48 pm


You know what? I’ll take the blame. I need to be in tune with my own needs and desires and recognize the guy for what he is for what he is in the first place: a loss. Know the term, “WYSIWYG”? It stands for “what you see is what you get.” I hear all this mumbo-jumbo about men liking a challenge, having your own life, blah, blah, blah… Plain and simple, if he doesn’t have time to answer a simple text or phone call, he’s too immature and selfish for your time…move on. Men today play too many games. You set up the challenge and the chase, live your life, and as soon as he catches you and reels you in, it’s back to the same old games. Ladies, know what you want and what you won’t put up with. Look for a real man instead of wasting your time on a boy. A real man won’t stumble over his words and won’t have a problem communicating with you, whether it’s by text, phone, or horse and buggy.

ReplyOctober 29, 2013, 5:21 pm


Hi, here’s my situation. I met a guy online, at first it was him asking me out all the time but I was dating some other guy so I told him I couldn’t hang out with him. But then we became friends on FB, and we talked almost everyday, but it was usually me initiated the conversation with him, and he usually replied me very quickly. Then I broke up with the other guy so we finally hang out. I know I may make a mistake that we had sex on the first day we met. But then he told me he had a good time with me.

The second time we met was very short. I was at a mall near his place and he needed to go to the airport so he dropped by the mall just to say hi to me.

We still kept talking almost everyday. Then last weekend I asked him if he would like to meet on Sunday or Wed. He said Wed sounds good and he needed to go out on Sunday before noon but asked me if I can come over before noon. I told him it’s too early for me so let’s do Wed.

Then we didn’t talk since Sunday. I sent him message on FB on Tuesday night asking him if we were going to meet the next day. Then he didn’t reply and the FB message didn’t show he had read it. So I text him on Wed and said “Guess you forget something”. He didn’t reply, so I text him on Wed night again asking if everything is OK. And he totally disappears!

Until now I haven’t heard anything from him. He’s really the guy I like a lot. From the first day I met him, I knew I would like this guy. Now I just leave him there. But I would love to know if there’s any way I can contact him again or should I just let him contact me? I’d really love to try to get this guy, because I know he has everything I really like a lot. Thanks :)

ReplyOctober 18, 2013, 12:41 pm


Dont degrade yourself and set a prescadent of how he can treat you by texting him again. If you made plans and he ditched out without an explanation…on to the next!

ReplyOctober 21, 2013, 8:01 pm


He’s not into you.

ReplyNovember 14, 2013, 2:49 am


Okay so there’s this guy that I liked for a long time and I found out he likes me back but he never texts back only in like a few hours but when he texts me at night he keeps texting and won’t let me go he also he told my friend that he is to shy to ask me out so I’ve been waiting for 2 weeks and still nothing why is he taking so long if he knows I like him back ?

ReplySeptember 24, 2013, 7:45 pm


help me~(SHOULD I TEXT HIM?) i met him at work and we became close enough! many thought that we were couples. i knew that he is intrested in me and lately im having a crush on him. we chat through facebook whole day but last week i got fired and he told me he would leave the work too cause i amnt gonna b there. he WROTE FEW MSGS TO ME BUT LATER on he didnt he liked my facebook post but no msg! what to do now?

ReplySeptember 24, 2013, 11:43 am


This is going to make me sound crazy, but I started seeing this guy that was really into me. He would tell me how beautiful he thought I was and how he was worried I would leave him for someone else because of it and he spent every single day with me for 2 weeks and then out of nowhere, he dumped me. He is going through a divorce and moved cross country to live near family, so he doesn’t have a job right now and he’s living with his sister. He said he wants to get his life on track right now. None of that mattered to me because I knew it was just temporary and that he’d get it worked out. I know it was a short amount of time to be with someone and have that strong of an attachement to them, but I just haven’t felt this way in a long time. Was I a rebound? I’m trying to keep my options open and give him his space, but it’s hard because he still talks to me. I’m trying to play it cool and wait awhile before I text him back so I don’t seem like I’m just waiting to hear from him, and I haven’t hung out with him since the breakup (not that he’s asked me to). He wants to be friends, but I really don’t want to get stuck in the friend zone. Please help!

ReplySeptember 7, 2013, 2:00 pm


K so i met this guy the day after and he was tryna sex we were wasted
And i was saying no
Well we tried but he had soo much beer it wasnt happening lol well he asked me to stay with him lol so i did another night with him and his friends and well he really seems to like me like he thought i was gonna leave and went over and made sure i had his number
But i stayed and well we texted alil last night while he was drunk again a bit and he can handle alotta beer lol
But it says hea been on and off facebook -.- he hasnt replied to me
What do i do :( it really seemed he liked me

ReplySeptember 3, 2013, 1:29 am


Hey Nina,

I think you should just forget this guy (well, I hope you have by now, at least. It’s December). It kind of sounds like he was looking for a good time with you, but not much else. If he wasn’t, why else would he be so (physically) into you when he’s drunk, but hard to find otherwise? You deserve much better than that. Remember, you’re way too cool to waste your time with dudes like that one!~

ReplyDecember 1, 2013, 8:05 pm


I’ve been dating my boyfriend Richard for a few months now, but when I stayed over at his we didn’t do anything sexually, I don’t know if he minded or not, the next morning we walked his dog Bailey we walked hand in hand smiling, he then dropped me off home & gave me a kiss & a hug, then I didn’t hear from him for ages until the 01.07.13 asking if I wanted to meet him again I said yes, we arranged to go bowling on the 13.07.13 – He didn’t show up, I cried, I have texted him from my phone & my parents phone & I’ve emailed him, I’ve chatted to his friend, but I haven’t heard anything, what does this mean? He hasn’t told me we’re on a break, he hasn’t broken up with me, he’s said nothing at all & I’ve recently found out the Iphone 5 is out which is the phone he was getting & I haven’t heard anything I really need help because I’m getting really ill over all this worry & stress, I need to know if I’m seeing him again as I need to see him again because I miss him very much.

ReplyAugust 15, 2013, 4:29 pm


I met a guy on a night out and we really headed of! He text me the next morning ect. We where texting when both on holiday and I felt as though I really got to know him! He was saying that when he passed his driving test he would take me out in his car. we rung each other often and for a month everything was going well. We started to arrange to meet up but that’s when it started and I don’t know if it was because he worked a lot but he kept cancelling to come and meet me. We, however, lived 45mins away. so eventually I said I would go to his which I did! We got on so well, met his family and some of his friend, we were still friends at this point. Then I went on holiday for 4 days and then he stopped texting me! I am so confused why! We got on so well, I really would like to see him again but all I want is an explanation to why he’s stopped getting in contact with me! I don’t want to text or ring him again as this would seem really desperate I just want to know why!?

ReplyAugust 6, 2013, 8:28 am


I’ve been dating this guy over 3 months but mostly on social networks due to distance than i messed things up by telling him how much i loved him and how he had changed my life etc, after that emailed i sent he ran for his life never called or emailed me back, i kept calling and pushing and at some stage i stopped because there was no change, i never stopped loving him but i wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life waiting for him, so i moved on and got a great guy but problem is im inlove with that other one (the one that got away) recently we have been chating and i dont know what to make of it, i really love this guy and i would love to fix my mistakes i deserve a second chance with him. how do i get him back and him chasing me again?

ReplyJuly 23, 2013, 4:11 am


I saw a You tube video that you have to keep yourself away.. back it off.. don’t call him…Once you stop begging, he will start communicating with you..If he won’t..Nothing to loose..nothing to be regretted in the future, and you will find someone who really appreciate you!!!!

ReplyJuly 24, 2013, 12:26 am


I know its about the guys’ behavior but why its sooooo me?
I really dont like 10 minutes or 3 hours of phone routines with any of my exs! or any dates!

ReplyJuly 18, 2013, 1:29 am


Hes making excuses..thats all.He Just want sex!

ReplyJuly 15, 2013, 9:11 pm


with a guy for a year, with him every day and nght except when we went to work……was practically living together, was gonna get married
he is very insecure and has been hurt very badly in past and has been accusing me of cheating all the time……he goes thru my fone and fb, i dont care nothing to hide……..the accusations got worst over the course of the relationship… day all of a sudden he was just like i dont want to be with you anymore i dont trust you ur a liar and cheater…..i was like wtf……he doesnt call or text, been about a month and a half
2 weeks ago we had sex, then two days later he came to my job saying i love u, i miss u, want you to be gf again, but i told him somethng had to change, i couldnt do that anymore……he said if he leave thats it….i said ok and i walk away…..i figured he wouldve texted or called by now, but nothing
i want to give him space

ReplyJuly 8, 2013, 7:38 pm


If you wanted to get back together why did you tell him to take a walk? I’m not saying it was a bad choice but just on face value if you tell him you are ok with him leaving for good what right or reason do you have to expect him to come back? In general a person wouldn’t want to date someone like that, but sometimes it can halfway work. If you are not a liar or cheater than you may be ok with him; but you have to give up any of that independent bs that some women want. If you are in a relationship with him then that is who you are with and you need to act like it. Baby steps might be possible, but this isn’t someone that will be ok with you going whereever, whenever, or with whoever you want. You also can’t withhold things. The good thing being that I believe that usually you can expect the same loyalty from them. Or at least close. They can get better over time but they’re volitile when it comes to certain things and obviously have trouble trusting. Like I said, sometimes people can get along sometimes they can’t; if it can work for you guys then great. If you are interested you should get ahold of him and don’t give him space for two long. Of coarse the time may give him a chance to look for somebody better, so either way. Good luck.

ReplyJuly 9, 2013, 5:50 pm


You have to treat each situation on a case by case basis because sometimes women do tend to over react when a guy they are interested does not respond immediately after a text. For example, if you text a man and he doesn’t respond until maybe 2 or 3 hours later, it may simply be that he’s busy. Ladies have to remember guys aren’t big on communication as much as we are. And from my experience, many guys aren’t big texters like us, women tend to be. However if a guy is taking an entire day to return a text, lose him! We aren’t living in the stone ages of technology anymore, every has a cell phone on them at virtually all times. I can make allowances for a guy not texting me back right away if its doing working hours because I know he’s a working man. But if you can’t bother to text me back and its now after working hours, 7pm and on and you wait until the morning or later to respond to a text I sent you the other day! No. Ditch the guy. I had to do this exact thing to a guy. I met him through a friend at a small get together, there was drinking involved and so we did end up making out that night. Was that a mistake on my part ? Yes, because I was actually attracted to the guy. But I’m not much of a drinker so when I do drink, I tend to be a light weight. I’m never falling over, vomiting drunk and I guess that’s because I really can’t stand the taste of alcohol to ever get to that point, but just a few shots will do me in. Anyway we ended up making out and before I knew it we were going into a private room to err get more serious. Luckily, I wasn’t too far gone and stopped things from escalating. Long story short, he asked for my number and I gave it to him. But to be honest, I didn’t expect a phone call from him, I just assumed he was trying to “act” like a gentleman instead of acting like a douche and ignore me after realizing he wasn’t going to get sex like he had hoped. Well he did end up texting me, and at first he would text me every day or few days but he would take hours or the entire day to respond to my text. I wasn’t too phased by it because I’m pretty good at not investing any type of emotional investment in someone I haven’t yet determined to invest the same in me (ladies it saves you a lot of heartache and confusion if you do this). Plus I was in school looking to finish my degree, I was in the process of finishing a dissertation and he owned his own business so I knew he was pretty busy. But just him taking an entire day to respond (meaning he’d respond in the morning) really turned me off, physically I was still attracted to him, but I had a huge inclination he wasn’t worth my time because I didn’t want just something physical and he wasn’t showing signs he wasn’t interested in me for anything more than being physical. When he did text me he always had the end goal of getting me to agree to going out to a lounge. To me that’s a red flag that a guy wants only one thing. You wouldn’t take a lady you are genuinely interested on a “first date” to a place where there’s music and you can hardly hear your date and have a conversation with, and a place where there’s only drinking going on!? And given the way we first met, I had a feeling he wasn’t hoping he could recreate that scenario because now he knew I was a lightweight. Well I continued to text him, but only would text him if he texted me. If he went weeks without texting me, that was fine by me, I continued on with my life. I would go weeks without caring or looking for a text. But he would eventually always come back and text me, but it would always end the same way; with me rejecting an offer to go out to a bar, lounge, or club with him. Bottom line, in my book if a guy is interested in you he’ll show it. With my ex-fiance he made it clear when we first started dating (our relationship lasted 3 years) he told me upfront he was interested in a relationship. A guy only makes that type of statement when he’s genuinely willing to make an investment, now of course some men are sleazy enough to use that as only a line but if the guys actions match his words than its true. And in the case of my ex fiance, his actions met his words and sure enough I found out he was really interested in getting to know me not just my body. This guy that I had been texting on and off for a few months, wasn’t interested in me; in fact I think he just wanted to see if he could recreate that night because we did almost end up having sex. Of course, I feel sad that something like that almost happened and ruined what could of potentially been something because I was interested in him. But because I had been drinking, my perceptions of things were off and my guard down and that–sex almost happened–thankfully I stopped it because he is obviously not the guy I want to have had sex with. But my point is, if he were genuinely interested in me (which he would say) he would of made an effort to show it, not go weeks on end not contacting me and then only offering to take me to places that douche bags take their potential bootycalls for first dates. If a guy doesn’t text you right away to the degree in which I’m talking, then he’s NOT genuinely interested in you. Guys sometimes will continue to talk to you, even if you haven’t given into sleeping with them because they have hopes of eventually finding you in a moment of weakness. Guys, in my opinion and of course not all, but will have various women lined up or at least like to have a woman here or there that they can call whenever they just want to have sex. You can be that girl that either lives on their street or be the girl that lives 2 hours away that they met one random night. But the point is, if they can possibly have sex with you they’ll try. A guy who is potentially interested in you for you and interested in possibly more than just sex will show more effort.

ReplyJuly 5, 2013, 12:03 am


Sorry, but I completely disagree. Bad advice. Taking a day to respond should not a deal breaker. Maybe he’s busy? Has things to do? Forgot he read your text and then remembered? Things happen. He has a life and you shouldn’t expect to be the center of it. Let’s be realistic here. Otherwise it comes off as clingy and needy.

ReplyJune 29, 2014, 12:50 pm

Grace Frendo

Hi, never actually asked for any advice on this subject before, but its something thats been going on for several years now, and it would be nice to hear some sound input so I can finally leave it all behind me.

After my first boyfriend broke up with me in January of 2010, I started using a dating website, and of course, being female got inundated with messages. One guy stood so far out from all the rest though. I can’t explain what it was (is) about him that I find so damn alluring, but its been three years now, and I keep going back to thinking about him.

He started talking to me, and right from the start it got quite intense, he complimented me, told me about his life etc. We kept pretty regular contact for about two months, talking every two days or so. He wanted to meet me, but as we lived about a hundred miles apart it was a little difficult. But he didn’t seem daunted by that. He kept saying I should visit, he wanted me to visit. But when I asked for a concrete date, he was busy on the ones I suggested. And then eventually the dialogue tapered off.

I got involved with someone else, had a serious relationship for about two years, then when that ended I got back on the dating website, and contacted him. He was happy to hear from me, said that he’d missed me. And it got intense again, he said I should visit etc. And again when I asked for a concrete date he was busy. Again, communications tapered out.

Fast forward to the beginning of June this year, I contacted him, and it happened again. Intensity, he really wanted me to visit, his words “We need to make this happen”. And now, nothing for ten days. He hasn’t been online, he hasn’t replied to my messages.

Some background on him, he had been in a serious relationship, engaged and all that, and then dumped by his fiance before our first communication. At present he works two jobs at unsociable hours, he had a serious health condition involving his lungs early last year, and he has a sleep problem (liable to fall asleep at the drop of a hat).

He says I do something to him, I make him tingle etc, but when he disappears like this I start thinking that he’s fed me a line.

I’ve never asked for a relationship, and I’ve always tried to not act crazy (though he makes me feel crazy), all I’ve ever wanted is just to know him better, meet up one weekend casually.

I’m just not sure what to think about him anymore.

ReplyJune 30, 2013, 7:20 pm

Bob Turner

I’m in the same situation with a woman I’ve known for about six years (similar again). The only difference being her and I have met and were intimate years ago.

She drives me crazy. And we always contact each other. However, there’s always something that gets in the way of us spending time with each other again, to the point where I have to conclude that, even if there’re good and plausible reasons, she’s playing games.

Like you, the same thing happens: the conversation is intense, then we both agree to meet. I set dates where I’m free, and she says she can’t, because she’s busy on those days. This has happened at least four times over the last five/four years.

I’ve never been crazy with her (well, not crazier than she’s been with me in the past), and like you, all I’ve really wanted is to know more, and more about this seemingly wonderful, smart, interesting person. She was engaged, too, just like your guy.

I’m sure if I still make her tingle, but she still gives me butterflies after all these years.

But unlike you, I do believe she’s playing games with me. There’s no way a person could be THAT busy if they’re interested in meeting someone they care about. I know this, because she was obsessed with me and wanted to meet all the time before. Other women’ve been like this, too; if they want it, they’ll make it happen.

Think of all the things you’d cancel just to see him. Exactly.

He’s either nervous about meeting you, doesn’t want you to see him in his current state (could be unfit/not well), or flat-out doesn’t want to progress things to that level.

ReplyAugust 11, 2013, 10:41 am


I’m really confuse. I went to prom with this guy I have a crush on. We had an amazing night, he bought my ticket,payed for the ride for both of us,and matched the color I wore. Anyways, when we where at the place where prom was being held, we first took pictures in a photo booth, then we went inside the ballroom. Dinner was serve,etc. So then he decided to go to the washroom so I waited for him to get back, but in the meanwhile one of my guy friends took me out on the dance floor,my prom date came back and he just looked shock but then I went up to him and started dancing with him. We were dancing really close.. So then once again he decided to go use the washroom, then one of HIS friends asked me to dance with him,which I did.. He pass by shock as well but right after the song ended I went to go sit him with (his friend wanted to continue dancing). So whatever, the rest of the night he was the only guy I was dancing with. We danced the slow songs which I didn’t want to,but he convinced me to. After prom ended, he was inviting to go the after party with him (he had mention it to me before) but I said I couldn’t because of my curfew. So he decided to walk me out the door and right at that moment he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Then out of the blue, he kissed me on my lips. I sort of pushed him because I was really shock and it was unexpectedly. Basically, after prom he hasn’t made any effort to talk to me,I also found out that he took some other girl to the after party. I tried talking to him but he drags on texting/messaging or he completely ignores me. I don’t know what I did wrong or if it was just that he was caught in the moment. One of his friends (they are not so close) tells me he could feel something towards me because he took me to prom when he could of gone by himself like the rest of his friends,also because he spend so much money on me and decided to take me as his prom date when he could of taken someone else… Which I honestly don’t think he ever felt anything for me. What should I do?

ReplyJune 16, 2013, 8:55 pm


i don’t know what you should do, but i know why he’s being so airy around you. At the prom he was being serious with you, he was going to spend the whole time with you, and by the sounds of it he did. When he saw you dancing with other people he was shocked, he realised you wern’t into him, as you wernt saving your dances for him.

This isn’t your fault, neither is it his, its just a misunderstanding. You view dancing with others as being fine, he views it as not being serious about the person your with. He’s not angry or anything, just a bit… nervous I suppose. He likes you, but thinks you don’t feel at all the same way, and he doesn’t want to hurt himself.

ReplyOctober 5, 2014, 12:59 am


Ok, so I have been messing around with this guy for 9 months I’m 17 by the way and I love him to death. We moved too fast when we first started dating and we broke up I was a reck. I thought he was over me so I started dating other people and everytime he would see me with another guy he would start calling me and getting me in my feelings and then stop talking to me again. So we started talking again in February and everything was so good until I found out when we broke up he slept with my best friend and got her pregnant. But I still decided to stay with him and work it out. We were still doing good until I decided to get a std test and I tested positive for something. That was about 2 weeks ago and now he’s real distant he won’t talk to me I blew up his phone and I don’t understand why he is putting me through this when I didn’t do anything? I didn’t give him the std he gave it to me so idk what’s wrong with him. But he talks to everyone else…??

ReplyMay 31, 2013, 12:30 am


I was recently dating a guy for almost 5 months. We met at a bar. He asked for my number and pursued me pretty intensely. He took me out on dates and always paid for everything and even bought me flowers. I waited about a month and half before I slept with him. My girlfriends met him and really liked him. They said that it was obvious that he really liked me. He seemed like such a good guy. He was my date for a friend’s wedding about 4 weeks ago. I asked him what we were and if he thought this was going anything. He said he liked me and enjoying spending time with me, that he always wanted to spend his weekends with me. After that, he didn’t text or call me every day, maybe every 2 days or so. He did ask me out the following weekend and I met his best friend and I also met his dad. Everything seemed ok. Last week he was scheduled to leave for a business trip in the middle of the week so he invited me over fo dinner. He cooked a wonderful dinner and we watched a movie later, it was a great night! We both left for work the next day and I texted him that night wishing him a good trip. He texted back and and eventually I fell alseep. We didn’t text or chat at tall the next day. The following night he texted me and everything seemed ok. I went to bed and texted him the following day. I got no response. I figured he was busy on his trip and he would text me when he got home. It’s been over a week now and nothing! Then the other night my roommate was on a dating website and found him!! I am so hurt and confused. I don’t understand what happened??

ReplyMay 26, 2013, 7:28 am


I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. Are you sure it wasn’t just an old profile on the dating site? I certainly hope that he has manned up and talked to you about what is going on in his head. I had something similar happen to me. I was dating a guy for a few months. We got along very well, but we were both busy and traveling alot. He was charming and sweet. He can to see me a few times including driving very far to come see me when I was out of town. We had plans to meet up when he was next home from his business trip one weekend so I contacted him Thursday to find out what the plan was. I never heard from him again. Weeks and weeks went by. I was very hurt and confused. He didn’t even bother giving me the respect of telling me he was not longer interested.. He just vanished. To this day I suspect he may have been injured in the line of duty…… because I feel that is the only reasonable excuse for such disregard for someone elses feelings.

ReplyJune 3, 2013, 2:38 pm


So, I’m kind of seeing this girl. We went out to a concert, yoga, and lunch together. We had good times.

One night when we went out clubbing together I could tell she was REALLY into me at that point and I was a little bit scared (I don’t know why) so I started drinking my beers faster… By the end of the night I had a little too much to drink and she got upset at me the next day saying she was disappointed in me because of certain things I’ve done that night that I don’t remember doing. I waited a week to apologize to her. I asked her if she was going to stay mad at me forever and she said she was just waiting for an apology. Okay, were all good for now. (I think)

A week or so later I ask her out again and she told me she was busy. Thats fine. But then I asked her out two more times and she said she was busy. I know that she’s upset at me for what I did when I was drunk so I told her that I genuinely was sorry and wanted to make it up to her and so I tried for one last ditch ask out and she finally said yes. I told her we were gonna go to the beach.

Come the day before the beach date I contact her asking if she’s still up for it and she gives me a maybe but she suggest we go to the lunch instead so she would feel a bit more comfortable… Okay, I agreed.

During this lunch date, she was on her phone and not paying attention to what I said. She revealed to me that she had been depressed and that her life sucked. She didn’t seem too happy. I kept carrying the conversation and finally it died and we sat there for a while not saying anything to each other. Turns out she was called in for work that same day after lunch, so she must have been stressed because she would have worked 7 days that week. I tried to not take it personally…

As bad as I thought the date had went, she texted me right after saying how she was off to work. I told her to be happy and smile more.

A week later, today, I texted her saying good morning and asking her how she was. I didn’t get a response.

Do you think that one night at the club ruined any chance I had with her? I really do like this girl but I think she’s totally turned off by how I acted that one night clubbing.

I’m trying to put myself in her shoes… am I missing something? I don’t know if I should keep trying or not.

ReplyMay 25, 2013, 9:53 pm


I am or maybe now, was seeing a guy. We met a year ago but nothing happened more than the odd coffee as friends until a month ago. He text me out of the blue asking me out on a date. We went to dinner and it went really well, this followed with another coffee the next weekend then the following I stayed at his, nothing intimate happened apart from some kissing but we did share the bed. He introduced me to his friends and neighbours and it seemed all to be going well. After initially putting in a bit of effort he has completely stopped texting me, I am not one to chase someone, and am not a big texter myself but I am really noticing the lack of communication and its driving me crazy, is this a sure sign he’s lost interest? Its been over a week of no contact. GUY opinion please??

ReplyMay 6, 2013, 5:04 am


Cat before I say anything else I am going to tell you to contact him. From what you said it sounds like this may be a situation where two people who don’t like to put too much into the chase have started to see each other. I’m a limited chaser myself so don’t think I’m putting you or him down for it. From what you said, I gather a couple things: 1.He initially tried to keep contact up with you but after not much response he has lost interest or given up possibly. 2.Judging by the fact that you specifically said you don’t like to chase or text in general, you did not keep up the comunication anywhere near the level you should have. If you don’t like to text that is fine but he needs to know this and you need to ask him if he would be willing to try to communicate in more ways. If you like talking on the phone see if he is willing to talk to you, when he can, on the phone. If you like in person contact try to see him more. Maybe don’t increase it too fast like being together every day but since it sounds like you were together once a week before (once on the weekend?) so maybe try for two or three times a week. There are several ways to communicate. Texting has become the norm for talking nowadays for many people so now everyone has to text more but he may not have an issue with mixing it up and just texting here or there for quick messages or when he can’t talk, as long as you are willing to do the same. It’s a hard sell to tell somebody you haven’t contacted them because you don’t like to text. You don’t have to lead the chase you just have to keep it going. In my opinion (and it sounds like the guy is somewhat similar so he may somewhat agree with me) one of the worst things a woman can do is stop communicating. It’s better to say too much than nothing at all. Like I said in a response to another post, atleast if you’re contacting us we know you’re interested. Otherwise we don’t know anything and we assume that there’s not interest on the other end. Also remember just because you got his text it doesn’t mean you’re communicating (or vice versa); you don’t have to answer every text/call each other sends but if you don’t both do this it will never work. Oh and you get half credit just for being around, so as long as you are not distant or cold you don’t need to talk all the time (if you are having a conversation talk obviously) while you are together. Sometimes that can be an overload and that’s where the stereotypes come from.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 5:10 am


Such a double standard. A girl who wants a convo and asks a guy why he hasn’t responded is “needy.” A guy DEMANDS sex on the first date…why? Because he NEEDS it. And girls are expected to follow through with the man’s needs, but GOD FORBID a man acknowledge OUR NEEDS. This is why I will remain single for the rest of my life, WILLINGLY. Because a man who is self-indulgent is no man in my book! He’s a narcissistic loser.

ReplyMay 4, 2013, 4:52 pm

Eric Charles

You and I are on very different pages…

First, if a guy “demands” sex on a first date… well, frankly my dear… he’s an asshole.

And even if a guy “demanded” sex on a first date, you don’t have to have sex with him. You don’t ever have to see him again.

There’s nothing wrong with sex on the first date if that’s what you and the guy want to do, but if a guy is being pushy for sex and you don’t want to have it with him, nobody “expects you to follow through with the man’s needs”.

Your point here about a double standard makes no sense.

ReplyMay 5, 2013, 1:35 pm


no a good example of double standards would be what my boyfriend does. If i dont text him back within 3 minutes he sends a hello? if i dont text back in another2 minutes he calls me. in the mean time he randomly ignores the crap out of me and wont text me back at all. but god forbid i dont text him back.

ReplyJune 13, 2013, 1:04 pm


Yup, that would be a good example of a double standard, Lauren. I have been on this friendship thingy whatever with some dude in another country. He sometimes sends me texts and if I don’t answer he will continue to text me the next day until I give in and either text back or call him. However, if I text him first he will not respond. This will continue for days on end until his royal highness dignifies my cell phone with a response. Lately I’ve come to the realization that I don’t mean much in his life in the grand scheme of things, and that I should just continue on my merry way and hope to meet a guy within my zip code who actually gives a damn about acknowledging me. I am not demanding that this guy drop everything to answer my texts, but just a “yes” or “no” response (or something called respect), is all I am asking for.

ReplyJune 16, 2013, 12:42 pm


I agree with Eric, nobody said a guy should “demand” sex on a first date. Even in the context of your argument it’s not a double standard. You claim demanding sex is wrong and he said that overtexting/asking for attention is wrong. Seems like the common ground would be to say they are both wrong which is the same standard. Also they are kind of the same thing. In both cases the person goes the extra mile because their partner isn’t being clear with them or communicating enough. A guy initiates sex because read minds. We try to wait until there are clear signals but women don’t always initiate (usually don’t in most cases probably) so we take a chance. It isn’t something you should get mad about. If they don’t take no for an answer that gets into a different story, but still. Take the breast grab as a compliment, it means we think you are atractive. If the tables are turned do you think we are scarred for life by it? Men get hit on by women they aren’t attracted to or who are moving too fast all the time. We joke about it and move on. Let me clear, I’m not advocating men forcing themselves on women; I’m just saying that generally we “demand” sex because a.You’ve given us mixed signals or no clear (not subtle hints that guys don’t pick up on) negative signals, or b.We think you’ve just wasted our time and money. Reason b women turn into “he thinks just because he bought me dinner I have to sleep with him”, but it’s more about feeling used or conned. We don’t mind spending money on you, or taking you out to have a good time, or waiting a reasonable amount of time for sex; but it’s not hard to feel like maybe you had no interest from the start and were just using us. Typically this would happen if we just got the cold shoulder. If you have interest but don’t want to have sex then just be warm and kiss him goodnight or something.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 4:32 am


I agree!!! To hell with ’em!!!

ReplyMay 28, 2013, 12:56 pm


I met a guy everything seemed great. He introduced me to his bestfriend and also took me to his parents house for dinner., I was really happy because I thought he was really into me. We would text/talk daily.. Then about a week ago I call him no call back or text reply. I wait 3 days then text him “hey” he replies telling me that he just realized that he had an unsent message to me. I text him a couple days later and we talked on Friday. This was the first weekend since meeting him that he didnt make plans with me. He said he was busy so I did not want to bug him. Saturday no call no text. So sunday I text him “Hey we haven’t talked much…whats going on?” I wanted to know if his feelings have changed for me or if there was something going on in his life that he wanted to talk about. HE NEVER REPLIED! so the next morning I text him That I really thought he was decent enought man enough to just let me know what was going on. I know realize I never knew you. Goodbye I don’t know what happened?! I’m angry, hurt and confused :*(

ReplyApril 29, 2013, 3:43 am


Okay. So the guy I am texting is my ex. Him and I have been very close friends for the longest time and a while after we broke up we started getting feelings for eachother again. But I was dumb and messed everything up. I know I messed up and I even admitted it to him a few months after. (He told me he never wanted to speak to me again because I broke his heart) So I waited till when I thought the time was right and well when I told him a few days ago, I did it though text message. We had a pretty decent short conversation and said it would be nice to get together on Friday to catch up. So the next day(Wednesday) to confirm plans I texted him and he didn’t reply. Its like he disappeared off the face of the earth. I waited a few days to text again and he still won’t reply. I’m not sure if I should keep trying to talk to him or not. My friends know he still cares for me and they “say” he is testing me to see if I really care. But I’m not 100% sure. I told you as much as I could in short time but my question is should I give it time or tell him how I feel?

ReplyApril 23, 2013, 5:34 pm


My boyfriend just broke up with me. i tryed to text him but he wont text me back. im am going nuts please help

ReplyApril 21, 2013, 4:02 pm


Hi, i really need some advice… desperately!! :0 i like this guy.. A LOT…. we used to be good friends! we’d txt and sometimes he wouldnt respond… in the past i asked him why he didn’t ( i know… needy)… then he asked me if it bothered me tht he txt back… i didn’t respond -pure silence- “exactly” was his answer , as if he took it as a yes….. he texted me a once while ago after a long break when he was upset at me ( we’re fine now) but im really scared on texting him.. i really want to talk to him but im afraid he wont text back because i really dont want to be a avoided… (i know i know… thats what every girl is afraid of when texting a guy…. but its different because he wouldn’t be doing it for the normal guy reasons and that reaaallllyyyy confuses me! This guy is different than other guys… he’s infantile, but he’s great! He really enjoys bothering me…. he always comes at our lunch table and hangs out… though, he hasn’t been coming in awhile…. (i worry too much, i know) but please, please! help mee!!

ReplyApril 14, 2013, 11:13 pm


Hey! I could need some advise.
I met this guy a weekend ago at a party at my friends’
dorm, and we ended up
talking most of the night, but when we parted he didn’t ask me
for my number or anything, just said I should tend the next party with a big smile
and we hugged.
The next day my girlfriends convinced me that I should get
in touch with him, so I ended up cyber searching him on fb.
It took a while but I found him and applied for friendship and left
a message. It’s been 5 days now, he accepted friendship the next
day after I send, but the message is still unread and unreplied.
Did I scare him away? And is there a way to do some damage
control? Should I delete the text and/or friendship?
I might run into him in a week or so at a party there, if he just isn’t interested it
would be nice to cut the awkwardness.

ReplyApril 13, 2013, 12:09 pm


hi, when you aren’t friends with someone on fb yet and you send a message, the message usually goes into a parallel inbox marked as ”other”. I don’t think many people check that inbox, so maybe the message didn’t even get seen=)

ReplyJune 5, 2013, 5:27 pm


I need help!! I started talking to this guy we hit it off great. We talked non stop allday pretty much everyday. He would say your so beautiful, I’m going to treat you the way you deserve and your my princess. I want this to work please dont hurt me baby. Things were going great like too good to be true. He told me he had a criminal past everything about it. It was strange circumstances with it. I told him I understood and didn’t care about it. We were together a month at that point and he was talking about having kids and getting married and everything. I was head over hills he was everything. This was also my first serious relationship. Then one night my best friend didn’t believe he was telling me everything about his past and looked him up. Found his record and told me everything that was on it. I confronted him about somethings he didn’t tell me were on there. I just wanted to know why he lied? I didn’t care what was on it just the fact that he lied. He flipped and was like this is why I have trust issues. We fixed things later that night or so I thought. He said he loved me and I did too. Things were back to how they were. Then one morning he texted me goodmorning like usual and told me he started talking to his ex again. I was like what?!! She’s the one who got him the criminal record and deeply hurt him. Told me he wanted to break up because he still had feeling for her. But wanted to be friends still. So we were friends for a week I really wanted him back did some stupid things trying to get him back he said we could only be friends. We both agreed. She got jealous told him he couldn’t talk to me anymore so he told me just that. A month later he txted me saying she left him. Found out he had proposed and they were to get married. Then she left him. We have stopped talking then started again 3 times he keeps he wants go be friends then wants to be with me.all throughout this he keeps saying he loves me and doesn’t want to loose me. I’m too important to him. What do I do? I love him so much and want him back. But I feel like a Rebound. How do I get him to make up his mind me or her?

ReplyApril 11, 2013, 11:19 am


there’s a guy i liked years ago but in a way still like. he’s always the one who starts texting first and when i answer he answers back short like he’s not interested. it’s confuses me! does he still likes me too or is he just playing mind games.

ReplyApril 9, 2013, 1:11 pm


I have a bf that im 17 years older than him…i feel in love with.and we have been with each other for close to.two years….Here is the crazy part he is very unhapply married he.was forced to.get married when he got his gf prego…he keeps telling me he leave and move in but nothing happens….He told me to get money.up.for a divorce and then he will.move in….please some advice on thisi know truly unhappy and afraid to leave his little girl….help

ReplyMarch 11, 2013, 7:27 am


I need some major advice please!!!!!
Okay long story somewhat short lol. I was with a guy for 2 years I loved him, and I thought he loved me… we spoke about marriage but after a year he back away and said he has a strict family and they will pick his wife and he can’t do anything about it (this is actually true it a culture thing from where he is from) BUT he broke up with me via text out of the blue… we met one day and 2 days later he sent a message… of course I was crushed this was my first relationship. Okay so throughout the breakup I made mistakes and texted him, told him why blah blah… but I stopped later.
After about 2 years later he messaged me on e-mail saying the major reason why he broke if off was he knew it wasn’t going anywhere but refuse to tell me.. and two he wanted a girl to have sex with and I wasn’t giving it to him because I am a virgin (oh I am now 23) and he said I was a girl for a man to marry not to mess with. So he found a new girl and brags that she and him ONLY hang in a parked car and why couldn’t I do that. I just LOL at it. So the past 2 months him and I have been talking just as friends. He would always repond to my texts (which before he would ignore or cuss me out etc, and this is 3 year after the break up). I told him it great hearing from you and I hope our path cross… he replied saying God willing our paths do cross I really hope that. So I just replied saying yeah. we would text throughtout the day mostly the morning, talking about all sort of stuff, TV, our lives, just friends talking. So he keep complimenting me and I just say thanns nothing more to make him feel like I want him back (BUT I DO STILL CARE A LOT FOR HIM). He than proceeds to say he is loving the way I live my life and he is envious and jealous. I moved away from the state I used to live in that he is still in and now in law school… and he always says he is jealous of me, which I don’t like.. always saying I am beautiful, that he misses me, wants to see me, calls me a “G” but I just say don’t be your got it good too… anyways he asked to see me, I said may be when I am back. So I later told him may be if we meet in public NOT A CAR, and just get coffee. He agreed and said he would find time. I said sure. He told me last week that may be this week we would me, well, I text him saying hey did you find a day so I knew bc i would be leaving back soon, he didn’t reply.. so I left it. Hours went by nothing. I told my friend, she took his number and called private without me knowing :/ he picked up!! So I later text saying I don’t know what’s going on, but I will respect that bye friend. The next morning he text saying hey, I replied with hi 2 hours later. He wrote how are you feeling, 2o min later I said pretty good. THAN he proceeded to ignore me again so I wrote if you don;t want to talk to me than don’t text or play games. I don’t want to waste time. I am really sad because I care so much for him, and am his friend and had faith he would be a MAN and just not play this game of hot and cold anymore… we are just friends. I am away and busy so I don’t expect much from him but a polite I can’t meet up but have a safe trip back maybe next time or just if he doesnt want to talk to ne stop talking don’t talk to me than, ignore. The week is over and I am going back to my University I didn’t hear from him….

OH, and he kept saying he would come visit me in the state I am in now bc it is a tourist state, and said we would have fun and just hang… he was saying/asking would it be awkward, i said no but if we meet it would take the awkwardness away….

So will he ever text me? Because I secretly do want to hear from him again??? Why does he do this? is he fooling me? Please help, my heart is broken again. I been hurting for almost 4 year becouse of this guy… this is a long long long story that is very condense. He is kind of a jerk, obivosly a player since he left to find a sex buddy. I feel like he doesn’t care, yet I still do. He says I am a great friend and that he has love for me, but why alway do this?

Do you think he will ever call me or text me? I need you help!!!!! please

ReplyJanuary 14, 2013, 3:50 am


I know it sounds simple, but I would move on. You are probably a decent girl/woman and you’re just being held back by him. Not actively, like if you were still in a relationship, but passively because you haven’t gotten over him. You would probably be someone that myself and others would be happy to get to know but if you stay stuck on him it’s going to prevent you from getting to know other people at times. He really sounds like someone that isn’t worth your time. I don’t see a point for you to meet him or continue contact; it doesn’t sound like he is interested in being with you and since he’s a jerk the friend part doesn’t have a lot of value. I don’t know why you are a virgin or if you want to stop being a virgin but if he wants to have sex then that is what he wants. He may think that he can take your virginity. He treats you the way he does because you let him. You stay in contact with him and because you aren’t a priority he contacts you when he feels like it. In my responses to the other people I’ve basicly said to try to give the guy a chance when possible, but in your case I think you may have somebody that you should stop talking to. The only reason he is talking to you is because he has nothing to lose. If he is with someone then maybe he can get with you and if not he still has that person; if he doesn’t have anyone then worst case he’s again no worse off. The things he said to you and the way he acts are not a good fit for you besides being a jerk. Granted you may fit well with a jerk, but be with someone like me that will actually like you (maybe we can negotiate the virgin thing). To answer your questions, yes he will likely text you; Yes he will likely call you if that is something that was not uncomon for him to do; yes you do want to hear from him again (you desire to hear from him, not that it is a good idea); he does this because he’s an a-hole; Yes he is probably somewhat fooling you, although leading you on may be more accurate; yes he is a jerk; no he is not a player; no he doesn’t care that much; yes you probably are a great friend; no he does not have love for you; he does this because he can and he really has nothing to lose, and because you let him by not breaking off contact with him.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 3:37 am


Don’t overanalyze the lack of texting. I’m not a youngster, and even I have the temptation to find out what so and so is doing. But what I have learned, that no man who won’t respond to your overtures is worth setting up a nest in your head. FYI, this also works for guys who’s gal pal hasn’t texted them back. So, guys, just switch the pronouns and this scenario will work for the girl who can’t seem to find the time to respond to your test.

If the man wanted to be with you or text you, he would. Plain and simple. It’s highly unlikely that he’s in a body cast in the hospital or recently entered the FBI Witness Program. The days of snail mail or landlines are over. He can be in touch with you 24/7. So no excuses. He’s either moved on, playing games or in a quandry about how to handle the “commitment” implied by a text from you saying “Hi.” Yes, he thinks he’s that special. He thinks that now you want him to father your 4 kids. That type of man is not a prize.

However, no one likes to be rejected, even by a dumbass. Especially by a dumb@$$. I was dumped by a redneck (his neck was even red) who thought he could do better than me. Why? Because I was stupid enough to go out with someone who wasn’t in my league. He got me easily and he was moving on up (fyi, he still hasn’t found anyone).
The real issue is the feeling of being dumped. But remember this, if he didn’t want you, why the heck would you want him? Do you want to date someone who doesn’t see your value? So a lot of the pain is just the feeling of being rejected, whether you actually liked the guy or not.

So, here’s what you do. If the guy does not text you back within a reasonable period of time (reasonable for you, that is. Compare your contact now to when he was actually interested), do not text or contact him. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever you think about the guy. Delete the guy’s number from your phone. Block the guy’s number from your phone. Meanwhile now that you have time freed up, go out and have fun with friends. I suggest not finding another lover until you’ve stopped being a doormat.

If and when your lover finally sends you a text, here’s how you’ll respond (even if you’re heart is beating and you know who it is. Don’t be charmed unless he has a hospital bill showing he was in a body cast.)
You who is this ????? (question marks or periods show at least puzzlement if not outright irritation.)
Him: John
You: hmm. . . . er . . .which John?

Yeah, you might know John, and maybe he’s the only John in your life. However, if you haven’t truly forgotten this guy, isn’t it nice to know that he probably feels the piercing twinge in his heart that he has been forgotten. Revenge is best served cold. However, colder yet, and truly awesome is when you’ve truly forgotten the guy and you’re absolutely clueless who he is.

ReplyDecember 26, 2012, 11:29 pm


This advice is fine if you want to be alone. Not if you want to be with somebody. Just be cautious when dealing with people. Give him/her a couple chances before starting to move on. If “John” didn’t do anything wrong to you before besides not text you for a while maybe see what he’s looking for; but keep in mind what you are looking for. If it seems like he just wants sex and you want a relationship (or vice versa) then maybe he isn’t a good match. Atleast not right now. You may want to be as clear as possible with them about your thoughts though.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 2:59 am


I can’t agree, just quit responding to his text all together. Why be immature and petty about? A man can get the picture and will feel very stupid after seeing he’s texted you and you are no longer responding to his misguided “advances.” If one thing I regret, it’s regretting acknowledging a guy who use to text me HOURS apart and sometimes a DAY apart. But what can I say, he was VERY attractive, that and a guy friend of mine had introduced me to him, vouching that he was quite the gentleman. But at this point I’m sure both were big frauds. Anyway, I regret acknowledging his text for as long as I did, I suppose in some part of my mind I had hoped he would genuinely be interested in me.

But now who cares, he may have not been genuinely interested or invested in getting to know me, but that doesn’t have to be a reflection on me; because he was never interested in taking the time to get to know me in the first place–so who was he to really judge who I am!??

I don’t think its necessary to play the “who is this?” card when someone you are nudging out of your life texts you…that’s amateur and juvenile, and if you take that approach during your confrontations, I can guarantee you are taking that approach doing your other social interactions and that may be one reason why men try to run a scheme on you or your relationships or those you hope to become relationships don’t work out. The best policy is just to rise above it, if a guy doesn’t act truly invested in you, stop leaving it in his court. Instead see it as “HE’S NOT doing enough to grab YOUR ATTENTION,” when you think like that, it makes it a lot easier in not fretting over a guy who is just playing games.

With the texting guy, I eventually just stop responding and eventually he got the message. For some ladies this isn’t juicy or filled with enough vengeance and fire but guys hate knowing they’ve been forgotten or that they aren’t the one being left–in fact not just guys, people hate knowing they are the ones being passed up–so for me, just quit with the games and handle it like a woman, especially if you want to be perceived as one.

ReplyJuly 5, 2013, 12:01 am


Is there any hope?

Basically I have liked my best guy friend for a very long time. We were always very close and flirty especially if we have been drinking. He was dating this girl the whole time I have been friends with him, but they recently broke up. 2 days after they broke up we went out and ended up making out that night. Then we made out the following weekend. Then the weekend after that we had sex (apparently he doens’t remember that or basically anything from that night). I didn’t see him for a while, because we had a break from school. This past weekend we had a formal and ended up making out on the bus ride home, but he said I couldn’t come over because he was going to hang out with his roommate who had a bad night. Yet, he was texting me but I literally passed out so nothing happened. I am not sure what any of this means or what to do. We haven’t talked at all. Bottom line if nothing further happens, I literally do not want to lose him as a friend. What should I do?

ReplyDecember 3, 2012, 12:25 am


I don’t know what you mean by “Yet, he was texting me but I literally passed out so nothing happened”. Why haven’t you talked? Have you tried getting ahold of him? Whatever his interest level is, you stopping communication will not help. If you’ve known him for a while chances are he will be fine having some sort of relationship with you but he probably doesn’t know how you feel. He may not be sure either and may be more comfortable going back to friends but if he knows that you have some interest in dating him still he atleast knows that’s an option. You have to understand that many guys have had bad experiences with women and have heard of even worse so we don’t know how you will act in a situation and we generally have no clue how you feel. You don’t have to get serious next time you talk or see each other but try to see him and stay in contact. Stay cool and maybe work up to talking about it. Try to be the person you always are that he liked. There’s no gaurantees but the only times I’ve given up on someone is when I couldn’t take the mixed messages anymore or they just completely flaked/changed.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 2:44 am


Okay, it could just be me blowing this out of proportion, but lemme give some background: I had a crush on this guy last year when he was a senior and I, a junior. He added me on Facebook and he started to message me and we sent some texts back and forth but nothing major. Then we kinda just stopped talking altogether. Well, a few weeks ago, he messages me just kinda starting casual conversation, what have you, and we hung out like two weeks ago. Well, I was basically there all night and we talked for quite a few hours and then we watched a movie, cuddled, yadda yadda. Before I left, we were making out, but then his dad came home and it was like 2am and I hadda leave. Since then, we’ve been messaging each other back and forth and I’ve been wanting to hang out with him again but I only really asked him a couple days ago if and when he wanted to. Well, he keeps saying that he’s incredibly busy with work and everything and when he finds out, that I’ll be the first to know. It sounds really bad when I type it out, but (to me) he really does not seem like that kind of a guy. He’s definitely not like any other guy I’ve talked to. He’s an absolute sweetheart and he’s totally down to earth. Anyway, after he told me that, I asked him where he works (’cause I’ve never asked before hahah) and its been like 3 days since I’ve heard from him. Now, my phone shows whether or not someone is online and stuff like that so I’ve kinda been periodically checking to see if he is or not and he has been but I’ve gotten nothing. It could be like you said in that post that he really is just trying to focus on work and stuff, but I’m kinda just like wth, ya know ? Now I’m plagued with whether or not I should just message him anyway or if I should just wait a little longer and see if he replies. What exactly do you think of my predicament and what would you suggest I do, if anything ?

ReplyNovember 30, 2012, 9:04 pm


The way I see it, it could be one of two things. Or, maybe both. Okay, so it could be these things:

1. He really is busy with work.
It sounds like he either did or does like you from what you said about when you two first hung out, so this is definitely a possibility. It really doesn’t sound like he would just all of a sudden forget you ever existed.


2. He’s confused.
This is also a possibility. He could’ve really enjoyed the first time you guys hung out but became confused for some reason and doesn’t know what to do about it.

I can actually relate to your story with the whole working guy thing though, so I understand your frustration. We could sure use a guy’s input on this one!

ReplyDecember 7, 2012, 10:07 pm


Okay, lemme apologize ahead of time that this will problly be really long; I’m sorry.

I feel like both of your answers could be possible. There have been two instances though where I felt completely blown off and at the same time understanding: the first time, I asked him if he wanted to get some ice cream with me and he said that he had to work and suggested the next day. Next day, I ask him if he still wants to go and he said he was about to go play basketball for a little and that he’d message me when he was through … I didn’t hear back from him until I woke up the next morning to a message saying that he was sorry and that ‘something came up.’ I was like okay, no big deal. The second time, he said he was free for a few hours and that we could chill, but when I asked him if he was ready he never answered. Later that night he said ‘i’m really sorry, i hungout with family :(‘. To that, I almost kind of felt like he should have added ‘instead’. It was around Thanksgiving and everything but still, if he didn’t want to hang out with me, he could have said so, ya know ? Fast forward to when we actually hangout again: the entire time I felt like he just wanted to hookup with me because he was being all touchy-feely and wanting to cuddle a lot and trying to kiss me. At one point he said he was ‘infatuated with me’ and I thought it was sweet but I still kind of had a guard up about it. The thing that really trips me up is that we did have pretty stimulating conversation, both in messages and in person, so why do I feel like I was there as almost a joke ? I will confess, my last real relationship was when I was 14 and I’m now 18 and guys haven’t really shown much interest in me between then and now.

In relation to your suggested answers, though, do you think it could just be me not being able to actually let him in ? So much so that I’m actually pushing him out ? :(

ReplyJanuary 11, 2013, 11:16 pm


Hey Kelcey. I don’t want to get into too much of a guessing game, but it doesn’t sound like anything too abnormal. Your situation is probably a bit different at this point but I’ll just say a couple things. If he made it a point to contact you then he is open to the idea of dating you or getting to know you better. The fact that you made out, that you talk on a normal basis (maybe not as much as you want but it doesn’t really stop), that he wants to be around you, and honestly that he bothers to give you excuses, are all indicators of atleast a little interest. Here’s where the problem comes into the situation though. What are you looking for and does it match what he is looking for? Do you want sex or some sort of sexual activity? Because if not you might as well join a convent or focus on school or something until you do. Very few guys don’t want something sexual eventually out of the relationship. Women tend to look at this as a bad thing. It’s not. It’s just guys being realistic. In comparison ask yourself what you would really like to do with a future boyfriend. Maybe go dancing? Go to dinners? Or movies? Picnics? Walks? I’m not a woman (or you) so fill in the blank for yourself. Now imagine that guy telling you that there is no way that he is going to do that with you and every time you try he is going to say he doesn’t feel well, or he has a headach, or he has to be up in the morning, or whatever. Hell maybe he claims he’s on his period. I think I’ve used that once or twice. Basicly he says that if you ever want to be seen in public together or get what you want out of this relationship then you need to think again. Now, how long would you stay around?
You might be completely fine with having sex, but I bring it up partly because you mentioned that it seemed like he just wanted to hook up. That certainly could be possible. You have to judge by his actions if he actually gives a damn, which is hard. It’s fine to be cautious when having/thinking about sex but you have to understand that there are differences between men and women. For one, many times (personal experience) we treat these situations like a video game; we have a goal and we know we have to figure out how to slay that goddamn dragon to get to the treasure chest. One problem is that we want to start where we left off and you (a woman) want to start the game over. To use another analogy, when you guys were making out he got to second base let’s say and then he had to stop because of a rain delay. When we get back on the field we go back to that base in our heads. So when he came over in his head he may have been like “we made out before so she’ll be fine if we start making out again and maybe more if everything goes ok” which you saw as him moving too fast. Ironicly moving too fast is a turnoff for women, so even though we are only going by the signals you have given us in the past, we get ourselves into trouble. Much like with not texting back (see other comment to the woman from an older post) we start to assume that you have lost interest, or are playing games, or whatever. Keep in mind I am assuming a low dushbag level and that he is not just trying to use you. You will push him away by rejecting him (obviously) no matter what kind of guy he is or how he feels about you, but if he is using you he may not be hurt by your rejection. As far as him being confused, I can pretty much gaurantee it. We are confused up until we die, we just get slightly less so as we age.
So I guess to sum up: don’t worry as much about him cancelling plans or getting sidetracked as long as he is staying in contact with you and he does go through with plans at least from time to time. Don’t assume he doesn’t like you both mentally and physically just because he gets a little excited and touchy-feely. If you don’t want to do anything sexual be very clear but also understand that he may disappear; very few guys want to be with a woman that doesn’t want to have sex with them and this IS NOT a card you want to play; you WILL lose every time. Unless they want to wait till marriage this is not something you want to play with; we will wait but not THAT long. Let’s be honest, after everything I’ve said, he’s probably a dirtbag. Biggest indicator being that “he is infatuated with you”. That’s code for whatever I’m doing isn’t working so I’m going to double-down and hope she falls for it. So be careful.
I don’t know if you think this has been helpful or not but I should probably delete this if possible after you see it cause if I encouraged others to give a-holes another chance, the rest of us a-holes would never get a chance. I think that might be a bro-code violation and I could have my card suspended. Tread lighty with any information you have gathered young one. For both our sakes.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 2:23 am


well i were dating this mexican for awhile but he text me late ,but i didn’t answer him right away and i told him i were asleep and that i were in an arguement with my roommate he want to know with who i told him ask me were i dating him ,he assume it were with a men just because i said roommate .every now and then he will text me he never would say it over, what should i do

ReplyOctober 18, 2012, 2:01 pm


I’ve been texting a good friend for years and recently we started sexting.
Another friend of mine that he knows was talking to me and knows about it, when I mentioned she said hi he flipped and hasnt really texted me back or he initiates a conversation and leaves after saying hi, it’s annoying me and I almost regret taking our friendship to this level :/

ReplyOctober 18, 2012, 12:14 pm


I’ve been talking with this guy I met online two months ago. We would talk every morning, text throughout the day, and always talk on the phone at night. Two weeks ago he told me he was falling for me and I said the same back. The next morning he didn’t call and from then on he’s barely been texting/calling me. If I text him he’ll respond and we’ll talk for a while but I feel like if I don’t text him first I won’t hear from him. I don’t understand the sudden change and i’m trying to not text him as much so I don’t seem clingy. He’s coming to see me next week (decided this a month ago) and I don’t want it to be weird. The very few times we do talk he says that he misses me and can’t wait to see me. Is he not interested anymore? Seeing someone else? Any advice would help. Thanks!

ReplyOctober 15, 2012, 9:59 pm


Unfortunately, the truth is almost anytime a man acts that way he probably is talking to someone else. As hard as it may be, I would try to take my mind off of him. Men love the chase and for some, once they’ve caught you then they decide to find someone else to chase. Not all guys do that. The truth of the matter is though he may seem soooo into you and say a lot of sweet nothing’s…sometimes they’re just that, nothing’s. I also wouldn’t advise you ask him about it either. 9 times out of 10 he’s not going to give a straight answer because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and he doesn’t want to close the door on possibly coming back to you if he thinks there is potential.

Always guard your heart though. Just to reiterate the point that just because a guy acts a certain way and says certain things doesn’t mean he’s leveling with you. Men aren’t wired to automatically feel emotion the way we do, the are more logical first. They can feel emotion but its something that isn’t so readily tapped into, so at this stage in the relationship and the fact that now he’s being wishy washy, I’d say just don’t spend so much time on him and wondering what’s going on and just live your life. Chances are he’ll be coming back and by then you’d probably be in a different mindset as to whether or not you’d even want to deal with him and if he didn’t hey by the time you notice, you won’t even care.

Believe me it took me a while to really do this when I was in a situation just like yours. From experience I’m telling you that the best solution which may seem the hardest, is to just move on with your life. I would even question the date that you guys are supposed to go on simply because going on it will make it harder for you to move on. He’s already showing you signs of not being as into you as he lets on so don’t risk falling deeper and making it harder for you to guard you heart. Believe me I’ve been there. You may think this date may change everything and make him pursue you again and sure for a short time it might but in the long run he’s already showing you his hand…he’ll go right back to being wishy washy. When I realized this and stopped letting guys like this take me through emotional roller coasters is when I truly met a guy that deserved my attention because I stopped giving men that acted wishy washy like that the time of day and I made sure my heart was guarded enough so that moving on wouldn’t feel like a quasi break up. You never know he may clean up his act but if he doesn’t there will be someone out there for you that has there act together. Just gotta be patient. Hope this helps :)

ReplyOctober 16, 2012, 10:07 am


If a guy ignores a text that requires a an answer, I ignore them back or take awhile to answer, depending on the situation. Most guys don’t take it as a sign of loss of interest. It seems like if they really want to speak to me, they will find a way to get in touch again, they will text me again, etc. Sort of how we behave with those guys we don’t care about. We may be hesitant to reply but keep trying to get in touch due to your lack of quick response.

I rather do what is effective than what sounds “logical” I’ve seen that with guys who have ignored me, replying when I hear from them sends out the message that it’s ok to ignore me and they will do it again. They need to know you won’t always be available if they aren’t seeing it yet. I see it as a way of communicating that your time is valuable in a manner that works (yeah saying “why didn’t you text me back” doesn’t work!)

ReplyOctober 11, 2012, 11:05 am


I don’t even know what exactly you are saying and I know it’s completely dumb. First of all, I don’t think I have to go any further than your first paragraph to explain why it doesn’t make any sense. You are talking about a guy you presumably like and then you talk about using a tactic on him that it appears you yourself say is what you would use on somebody you don’t like.
Second, every guy is different of course, but in general if you don’t text/contact a guy you are giving the impression that you don’t like him. We don’t play games in that way (if at all). If you don’t show interest then we assume there is not interest. Sure if you text a lot it can get to a point of being needy but atleast we know there is interest. We don’t know anything from silence. You are COMPLETELY wrong that guys don’t take it as a loss of interest. We will give you a few chances to keep it going before giving up on you, but that’s all it is.

ReplyMay 7, 2013, 12:56 am


When my boyfriend didn’t text me back, it was basically his way of breaking up with me. I was really upset for a while because I expected him to just say it was over but I realize that I did nothing to make him ignore me and I deserve someone who will talk to me about what’s going on instead of running away like a coward. I really don’t get why people ignore someone as a way to dump them. I’m all about being direct and honest, even if someone’s feelings get hurt in the process. If he had just said it was over, I would’ve understood and had immediate closure. Instead I went months not hearing from him and waiting for a sign that things were okay. Men need to cut that shit out. You may think you’re avoiding drama but in reality you’re breaking someone’s heart and leaving them hanging.

ReplyOctober 2, 2012, 12:46 am


Well i have no idea what to do im 14 almost 15 and my bf is 15. we have been together for 3mths and 2 1/2 wks. and we have perfect everything andknow everything and trust and theres no arguments but the he brought up what u want for xmas and ur day and then i had said nothing as usuall girls do but i did want nothing. He saidsomething was in the mail then he sent me a pic of what it was and it was a most beautiful promise ring but my friends are telling me a year isi better and i agree or something like new years is good to. but he is the one tht enforces our comitment and we love each other and my mom and my gma the 2 most ppl close to me even said he was just amazing but idk how to respond if i get a promise ring early or 1 yrs. so i need help please anwser me im like a lost puppy on this thanks

ReplyOctober 1, 2012, 8:27 pm


There’s this guy will text me “good morning!” everyday. I did the same thing too. After greeting each other, our conversation often died.. and he always seems to reply me 4-11 hours later. He can use twitter while not replying my text. The way he talks seems like he’s not into me.. But why he still text me everyday ‘good morning’? I just don’t get it.. He is making me confused. anyone out there help me please. And i do like him.

ReplySeptember 3, 2012, 5:52 am


Hi Annabel

I have experienced something similar with a guy. He asked for my number, he would text me–always initiating the text–but he would text me, like your guy 4+ hours apart or just not reply back to my text until the next day. What I did was I’d only text him if he texted me, now this isn’t something I do with every man I talk to, but this guy from the start would take hours to a day on end to respond to a text of mine, and sometimes we’d go weeks without talking. The circumstances of how we met made me feel even more suspicious of him because we almost hooked up (I was drunk–I’m a bit of a lightweight) but thankfully I stopped it from getting any further and I had good friends who made sure they kept me from making a decision I wasn’t really conscious of making. But because of that, I had a feeling–sort of what Ian said an above statement–that he just wanted to pick back up from where he started. During our text he never really made an effort to get to know other than the starter how are you? how is your day going blah blah; and each text always ended up with him inviting me out to a spot that served alcohol–it felt like he was only trying to bait me into falling into the situation in which we had met. I wasn’t interested. Now, I was with a guy for 3 years and we were engaged for the last year of our relationship. He made such an effort to be with me, in fact I wasn’t interested early on in knowing him, to date him. I was a freshman in college and was at a point where I felt all guys were the same and just wanted to hookup and have sex. Well I was a virgin too and didn’t want to just lose it to someone that only wanted to USE me, but with this mentality I had decided I wouldn’t commit to a guy until I knew he was committed to me. For me, it wasn’t about playing games but doing what was smart for me. I remember telling my [guy who is now my ex] that I would go on a date with him, but that I was going on dates with other guys too because I wasn’t going to commit to people that weren’t willing to be the same for me. I wasn’t sleeping with these guys mind you either–but my point is–my ex had told me that, that was fine. And that he “wanted me to do whatever I pleased and that someday I’d realize he was the right guy for me and when that day came, we could be together and that he’d be waiting.” Now of course that sounds all so dreamy, you’re probably wondering why I’d let a man like him go haha but that relationship and that experience taught me that when a guy is ready and when he is interested, HE WILL SHOW IT! A guy who takes that much time to talk to you is not interested in you, he text you good morning everyday only to see if he still has you in his pocket…guys love having potential hookups, both present and future. You are nothing but a possibility of sex for him and as long as you acknowledge his good morning text he will continue to think that–someday–he will be able to hook up with you. This guy probably has another girl that he is either a. already getting sex from whenever he wants or b. he’s talking to another girl that he is more interested in. He’s texting you these small little good morning text only to keep you around if a or b were to fall aside.

What I’ve learned or what I believe is, if you have to even ask yourself if this guy is really interested AND you can even say…IF YOU EVEN have to say you feel like “he’s not into me,” then the guy more than likely isn’t. I know some men will try to say no no that’s not true but it is, when a guy really wants something…hell even if it is just sex, he WILL go after it with all he’s got. When he doesn’t, [you, it’s fill in noun] just meh to him and if its meh he won’t bother really making any real effort.

What you should ask yourself is, “Am I really attracted to this? A man like this?” If it’s no then move on with your life, don’t leave the ball in his court. For me if every time I talk to a guy and he takes that long to talk to me–sure if it happens a few times no big deal, he may ACTUALLY be busy–but if he is on average taking that long to respond EVERY time you talk and leaves you feeling like he’s not into you…then why be into him? Why make it a matter of “am I attracting or making him interested?” And make it a matter of “is he doing enough to keep me interested?”

ReplyJuly 5, 2013, 1:31 am


The not texting me thing is happening to me too. We were texting back and forth sometimes he would call and we would chat. I would visit him at work. We went to a bar one night after he got off and had a terrific time. I even came over to his house once and we watched a movie, ordered pizza and had wine. Then one weekend I went over and spent the night the next morning got up, we had breakfast and he took me home. We chatted the whole time it was great. We said goodbye he kissed me and I said I’ll talk to you later. I text him a while later to see how his errands were going and replied back. The next day I worked but did not hear from him, I got sick at work and did not want to bother him. Next day he text saying he was busy but asked how I was and what I was doing. The next day I asked if he wanted to do something he said he had dinner with his parents and the next day completely booked understandable. So I thought we would do something Friday I text him and nothing. Next day (Saturday) he did text me and apologized for Friday and told me he has been busy. Which I understand but at the time I was half-up and sent a stupid text message about “i thought he was mad but i was glad he was busy and doing what he enjoys” and now it has been a week. His birthday is Sunday and part of me wants to wish him a happy bday, a part of me thinks giving him space is a good thing but I don’t want to be “needy”. I am still just stuck…but am keeping myself busy.

ReplyAugust 20, 2012, 9:10 pm

so what

I don’t care if a guy doesn’t text me back because maybe I’m just not that into you. However very rarely you meet someone who is special. Rocks your world and not in a physical sense but you know he’s the one. You don’t want him to make the same mistakes that an average guy would make because then he would be average and if he acts like an average guy DO YOU WANT HIM?? NO!! Alls fair in love and war and there are no hard set rules to da game. In the end, you will be with the one you were meant to be with. p.s. i’m lovn it!!

ReplyAugust 12, 2012, 9:46 am


He’s So weird !!!!! We used to talk all night , but tonight he said I’m tired I want to sleep we used to sleep together at the phone but tonight he’s diff he was so cold with me !!! I feel he got bored of me Nd maybe hell go to call some1 else now !!! plZ I need help some1 help me Plzzzzzz ;( he drivin me crazy

ReplyAugust 7, 2012, 8:30 pm


Yea I think he’s cheating girl. I’m so sorry. Best thing to do right now is give him space n stop freaking out! All the pieces will come together eventually…I hope he’s not but it really sounds like he is. Until u know for sure, like I said, give him space and live your own life b stop freaking out.

ReplyAugust 7, 2012, 8:50 pm


But he told me The other day That hes so in love With mee i felt It! He looked to My eyes nd he asid i cant Live without you ! Im so confused be4 2days he was fine With me But now hes diff !!! Aah nd he asid smth yesrerday i asked him him Wts wrong ge said I’m bores I need to relax go somewhere I just need to relaaax life is boring I asked him Wt do u mean ur bores of meee he told me ofcourse not baby not you but I need to relax we can go to a hotel or something for 2 days I Dnt know Wts wrong with him I’m sorry I know I look like I’m crazy but I’m so in love with him Nd I’m afraid I Dnt want him to leave I’ll die !!!!! Nd the proble m is I can’t give him a space I can’t live without talkin or see him every dayyyy !!! ThAnk you

ReplyAugust 8, 2012, 7:31 am


Hey … Yesrerday theres aguy talles to me My boyfriend Sae him nd he hit him After That he told me i love u nd i cant Live without you he was so in love With me ! But today hes so diffrent With me he didnt Call i told him i wanna See u i Miss u he told me i wanna c My friends he seemed Cold With me i dont know Why i Dnt know whats wrong With him hes weird Im so tired i need help !!!!

ReplyAugust 7, 2012, 1:36 pm


Hey it’s lona again :) well I’m confused … I told u be4 my story …. today I had so much fun with my boyfriend he seems in to me love me very much he told me I love u million time today until the same number called him I asked him Whoooo he told me like always my friend I really Dnt know Do I have to stop thinking bout this number ? Am I overreact ? He told me be4 2days that I becme too sensitive !!! But Wt Bout the number he Dnt answer n front of me !!! I think there’s something !!!! I changed I’m so crazy Nd every 1told me that they told me stop or u will die cuz I’m thinkng too much bout my boyfriend Nd if he’ll cheat on me !!! Anyways do u think I have to believe my boyfriend that the number is his friend plZzz answer mee ???? Thanks

ReplyJuly 27, 2012, 5:06 pm


yes he’s cheatin on me ! First I feel it sec last night he was talkin for 1hour thro the phone at 2am when I asked him he told me my brother Haaa!!! Omg!!! Nd I told him ok baby Nd he didn’t say anyth I told him say Smth baby he told me can I go to sleep !!! He avoid Goin out with me !!! I Dnt know do u think he’s telling me the truth maybe I’m just over reacting I have no idea !!! What’s Goin on ! But I’m sure he loves me I hope now he still love me !!! Yea maybe u will say I’m crazy bcoz I am I love himm I love him no way i can imagin my life without him !Today he didn’t call but I called him once he was So cold with me he was at work ! I dont know if he will call me back ….. Is he cheating on me ???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ReplyJuly 26, 2012, 9:18 am


He’s still weird with me !! I don’t want to leave him!!! I think he
hide Smth he’s not in to me anymore ! He’s always angry with me! It
really hurts I need a plan or Smth ! I can’t live like that without
him I just can’t , I dumped all my exes but he’s diff I’m arras he’ll
dump me ! ;( I feel like my whole world is fallin around me
I really need a plan to return him

ReplyJuly 25, 2012, 5:50 pm


Try not to make him the center of your world anymore. Sometimes we have to go through this stuff to learn that nimatter how great it was or how much into you he was before, his behavior right now is sending you a clear message that he needs space. I really liked a quote Eric Charles had sent in a previous email an I’m paraphrasing but it stuck with me: No amount of hopeless desperation will keep a man that doesn’t want to be with you. There’s no amount of desperation required to keep one that does.

I’m not saying that this man doesn’t want to be with you but you will only push him away but running towards him and expecting him to give you reassurance that he still wants to be with you. It makes you seem desperate to him and thats not attractive to men. Even though you are probably an attractive girl and you have dumped every other guy. Don’ say you can’t live without him, time heals everything. I’ve been there too and I’m stronger now for it so just keep your head up and whether he comes back or not, there’s plenty of great guys out there who’ll appreciate you. Sometimes, you have to set someone free and if they come back that’s great but if not then it wasn’t meant to be.

ReplyJuly 26, 2012, 1:09 am


I have this guy friend whom I’ve had for 2 years now. By guy friend I mean a bunch of my friends and I would go to a Karaoke bar in town every weekend (small town) and he’d also be there with his friends so we would all enjoy each other’s company. Sadly, the karaoke bar closed down but he always kept in touch with me via texting. Often I wouldn’t reply because I’d be very busy with school and my boyfriend at the time was sort of a jealous type (not that he had any reason to worry). Anyway, this past mid June my boyfriend (now ex) and I broke it off after a year of dating and so I finally decide to hang out with the guy friend. We’ll call him Dwight ’cause it’s such an awesome name. Dwight had been bugging me for months to watch a movie or go for food, just casual it seems as he knew I was dating my ex (before we broke it off). Anyway, we hung out a few times (getting along very well, just as we always did). He’d show me tons of personal things, like some short, funny family videos and stuff about his job, etc. He was just super funny and sweet, and he was also interested in my job. He ended up kissing me at the end of one of the nights we saw each other, and after our ‘macking session’, he quickly grabbed my hand as we started walking back towards his house to watch a movie, and I remember feeling sort of stunned…it felt like he had been just waiting to hold my hand and “have me” (if that makes sense..). I wasn’t expecting anything to happen with us before that night or afterwards…He was always very outgoing and neutral about most things and consequently, he was difficult to read.

Anyway, a week later (Canada Day weekend) we had plans to spend the saturday together (he had asked me weeks before if I wanted to). We actually spend Friday night and sat together, and both days included much (probably 90% initiated by him) cuddling, stroking, holding, kissing, even cute kissing like on the forehead and on the hand…very loving like.

Now, I guess I should stress that I am not a clingy person…Usually he initiated texting, kissing, holding, asking to hang out, etc. I’m extremely easy going and was not expecting anything from him, even though he persistantly acted like we were “together”. That Saturday night, we slept together. The next week was like the last, he always texted me throughout the day (though not constant, we’d both throw in a text or two every hour or so as we’re both extremely busy with work). We saw each other a few other times this month, slept together a few other times. Last Monday we had a normal texting day, and he also asked me if I wanted to get food the next day, to which I responded sure, if I got my work done.

The next day, he didn’t text me at all until I texted him in the late afternoon, just mentioning that if he still wanted to get food I’d probably be done soon. He responded an hour later saying that he just woke up, sorry. I said no worries. He didn’t text me at all the next day (neither did I) expect to say something like hey sorry I’ve been out of it lately. The next day I repsonded with, It’s all good. He then texted remotely quick saying ‘You’re alive?!’ ….I said I was busy and asked how things were with him. He didn’t respond. I texted him again the next day, he texted me for a bit but it died off. He didn’t text me Saturday, and sunday I asked how his weekend was….10 hours later, he texted for a little bit, but it also died off. Clearly the guy isn’t into me anymore…or at least that’s what I’m totally sensing. I sensed something earlier that week. I just don’t understand what happened after that Monday night when he asked me to get food the next day. I have been going mental trying to figure this one out. I’ve been debating asking him at the end of the week, assuming he doesn’t text me at all, what happened.

Did he randomly just decide he wasn’t interested in me anymore? Is he playing hardcore hard to get? Does he perhaps feel like he’s falling for me but feels like because I just got out of a relationship that it’s not a good idea? I’ll obviously live if we don’t end up together as I never had expectation to begin with but I really need to know. He’s the one who turned it into a touchy-feely couple thing, I could have just kept it to sex :/ But he totally made it confusing and then bailed!

Please help me solve this one…Also, I’m 24, and he’s 21. He’s quite mature and is doing very well for himself. The age difference was never an issue.

ReplyJuly 24, 2012, 12:53 am


Guys are ass holes plain and simple. I can’t tell you how many times this happens. There’s no explanation and it leaves you wondering and wondering, not even like you car as you said, but bc you are so damn dumbfounded how things can just turn. You can always just leave it to “he’s just not that into me” because if he liked me he’d call/respond. Bc that’s what you do when you like someone, right? Nope, not for guys. They claim to care and they claim they don’t like girls who play games but yet they make us feel “desperate” and “clingy”. It just proves guys will always go for the bitches and the rest of us our screwed! I’ve learned to breathe, brush it off and stop analyzing what I did wrong because… Hey.. There will be another asshole next weekend, right? :)

ReplyOctober 2, 2012, 3:35 am


Going to make this short and sweet need advice ladies!

Basically this guy i used to see. its all messed up and confusing. I text him now and again but i don’t hear back so i decided to leave it. Then he randomly messages me asking how things are.
Should i reply? or give him a taste of his own medicine. Because i’m scared he will think i’m not interested but at the same time I’m sick of him saying “jump” and me saying “how high ?”

ReplyJuly 23, 2012, 8:49 pm


You can, but whatever you do just play hard to get. Wait a while to text back, and if he asks to hang out just say you can get back to him when you’re free (cause you’re super busy) and then don’t get back to him ;)

ReplyJuly 24, 2012, 12:58 am


That it is the real all :( i have a much friends and i feel sge dont care And i always say for them lets go to shopping and they say no ,one say: i am traveling on and one say :yaah me too i am traveling and one say: i want go to my grand mother and them always busy but i know shes not busy cuz i say them tweeting ON Twitter 24 hours i dont know i just feel she didint care And we be friend in 4 year and i am a girl my name is MAWADH from saudi arabia. And i am 14 years old :*

ReplyJuly 11, 2012, 6:21 pm


I just want to love someone….that is all. I don’t want to have to do anything for someone by a standard or a chase. Otherwise I will just be single the rest of my life and be happy about it. Whats the point in having a heart if you can’t use it. At some point, you will need me when your ill. Guess what? Your can’t play chase anymore..

ReplyJune 29, 2012, 3:10 am


Please can someone help me i’m driving myself mad with it all. I met a really lovely man over a month ago when on holiday in Ireland. He has texted me daily since getting home to England and the day i returned home he booked a ticket to come over here. His texts were so sweet and he was lovely and talked about me going there to see him. He came here the weekend just gone and got on really well and the day he got back i got a message saying he had a great weekend and a lovely time. Then the next night he was out with his friends watching football and he sent me a couple of texts when he was drunk, asking how i was then another calling me babe so he was still affectionate. That was the last i heard from him and its very strange indeed and out of character completely. I don’t know what to do as i don’t want to risk looking needy. My friends say as he was out drinking you don’t know if he has lost his phone or maybe feels rough. I really don’t know what to do and i’m trying not to obsess but i can’t sleep and just wish he’d text me

ReplyJune 21, 2012, 4:24 am



This is a man thing, they retreat into their caves. I know its hard,but don’t contact him. Leave your phone at home, go out and enjoy yourself. He will come running back. Men dont respond to words they respond to no contact.

ReplyJuly 8, 2012, 5:52 am


Ally’s advice is sound.

ReplyJuly 12, 2012, 12:00 pm

ana hernandez

Well have knowing this guy for a long time. This past two months we have gone out to eat, last month we had our first date. Everything went well he presented me to his friends, we just hug but nothing else. I have been honest to him about my parents being strict with me, me being 21 and virgin. he have told he likes that about me, etc..last friday we had plans going out for dinner, then I text him on that day to see if our plans still going. he replys he forgot to tell me if we had a chance going on saturday. So, I said i will txt him if i can. he said why can’t i saturday. I txt back saying I couldnt because my dad is using my car cuz he doesnt have one.But if he liked i could go during the day or tell my cousin to drop me. he said okay. But ever txt me back seens then, is only have 3 days. Did i said something wrong or his not interested in me anyone or wat? help

ReplyJune 20, 2012, 11:55 am

Cherry London

Hi Sabrina Alexis ,
Love the email’s I looked forward to it everyday. I know i supposed to post in the forum have not figure it out yet. But hopefully i will when i am on vacation. I’m sending this email because i take in your guys advise like not chasing an all and suddenly i saw hope.For instance ,last Friday he sent an invite to go an event through facebook I ignored it then he sent another invite to like his page on face book so i like it this time around. But the weird thing is we had not communicated for nearly a year and all of a sudden he just popping up. Right after i like the page he message me saying …thanks for the support ,I was like no problem ..but i logged out of facebook . But when I wake up that morning I saw another message saying he trying a little something meaning he opening a business. I responded to that message eight hours later.Now am thinking why he did ? is he interested again ..did I push him away by how i responded …Arggh this feeling is painful I want him back but I not going and chase him down and send him another message like “Hi” . I feel like i needed an explanation or something .Did I do good by responding like that what should I do next sigh……
Thanks alot Sabrina and Eric ,

ReplyJune 19, 2012, 8:34 pm


I’ve been talking to this guy that I’ve known for about a year now and we’ve kissed and stuff but we were never really serious. Usually when I do stuff with guys and they do stuff with me it’s usually a one time thing and I never talk to them again but for some reason we continue to talk. He just recently told me that he is curious about is being together and wants to try it out when he gets back in town from work in a week. He wanted to skyp with me last night and I agrees until that time came and he was never on skype. I asked what was wrong an hour later an he said he was stuck in a meeting but he still wanted to Skype later that night but he seemed a little upset when I told him I already made plans to go to the club with my friend. He said it was fine and I texted him that night after the club but he has not messaged me back :( I’m really confused on how he goes from wanting to try out a relationship to not even talking to me. Help please.

ReplyJune 19, 2012, 1:01 am


hi, me and my ex bf always on n off but recently we are chatting on whatApp
we spoke 3days on the 4th he dint talk to me eventhough i could see his status online
after 5days i text him saying hi hope your having a good night , just wanna let u know i was at the movies and you came to my mind am going out wd a frnd now chat to u soon . he replied saying thnx flower ,enjoy am at work . wht does it mean ? cuz if his at work n busy but still gaved me 1min from his time eventhough the past days he didnt talk?

ReplyJune 16, 2012, 2:32 pm


heya iv got a question .. i met this really cute guy in a night club i gave him my number he text me and we arranged to meet up before we met up he would text me every cuple of days but then we went back to school and he stopped texting so i text him and goes are u still up for our date and he said yes deffo .. so we met up anyway and we kissed and made out a little ..he drove me home and said before i got out the car that it went well maybe we can do it again ..i said yes .. so he text 4 days later and we chatted about how well things went and that we we would do it again soon and he would leave it up to me about were we would go ..then he just stopped texting i text him a week later and text back but he still didnt text me first so 2 wks later i text him again saying i was free dis wknd do u want to meet up reply.. 7 days later i got a facebook msg saying he had just got his phone back he had no credit heed like to but he had grinds and a match so he couldnt and he suggested wat about next week .. so i replied saying ill see wat im doing ..and he didnt reply .. however i bumped into him in a club a week later for graduation and he danced with me all night we kissed for a bit he bought me a drink and sat down with me introduced me to his mates .. he spent most of his time with me instead of his friends and when we were going away i said so will we meet up soon and he said deffinatly ill have to drive in to see you soon and i said ok give me a text ..he still hasnt text me and its been a week and a half .. we have serioius exams coming up in few days though the biggest school exam ever so maybe hees busy with study ..please help xx

ReplyJune 3, 2012, 5:05 pm


I’ve been dating a guy I met online for about 6-8 weeks. We live in different cities so we’ve only had 3 dates although each lasted about 8 hrs (spent all day together).

The 3rd was on Sunday (27th May). We had a really nice date. Spent most of the day in the park. He was more affectionate (kissing me constantly, holding my hand, hugging me, stroking my hair) than he’s ever been. The only issue was that he said from the 2nd date he wanted to sleep with me. On Sunday at his he asked when I was next up (I’m seeing friends in London this weekend) and that I could stay (for obvious reasons). I said I’d prefer to be exclusive with someone before sleeping with them. He felt that he needs to sleep with someone before becoming exclusive to see if there’s a connection. I said that I wasn’t prepared to be one of many girls he’s sleeping with but he said he would never sleep with more than one at once and would always be honest with me so would say if he met someone else. He could tell I was unsure so hugged me and said there was no rush/pressure and not to worry. He said this several times unprovoked. When he dropped me at the station he repeated it but said I should still visit so to let him know.

I let him know I was home safe and had a fun time. He replied saying he’d also had a nice time and commented on the length of the journey apologising. I said it wasn’t his fault just my lack of checking that transport was running normally and that I should hurry-up and move there (before we met the 1st time I’d said I was looking to move to London).

Thursday I text him in the day asking if he was about that evening to discuss plans and if he was still free. No answer. I thought he must be busy so I rang that night anyway. He didn’t pick up. Obviously I was crushed as he said he’d be honest. I thought about it all yesterday (31st May) so last night messaged him on the dating site saying I wasn’t sure if he got the text/call but I was free tomorrow (Sunday) and would stay (saying I wanted to spend time with him and not worry about catching trains). I know it was probably needy but I thought maybe he’d lost his phone. I still haven’t heard back. Please help. I don’t know what happened in those 3 days to make him change his mind.

ReplyJune 2, 2012, 7:26 am


Why should I? I do not know him. In so far, I do not want to meet a guy since today. I am really afraid to talk to any guy. Because I have had a bad experience.

ReplyMay 20, 2012, 9:24 pm


Not even sure if this is the right place to ask a question but i’m gonna try.
Long story short, I met this guy ,he pursued me. Texting like crazy every day about random things just getting to know each other.He seemed so into me and we really hit it off. We hung out and ended up sleeping together. He got kinda weird after that with short responses and me texting first. Then he kept asking to hang out again and finally I gave in. We hung out then went home together and he tried to hold my hand. We talked about why he got weird after and he said he thought I was being weird and because I left in the morning without saying bye. He said he wants to get to know me and see where things go.
That was Friday, today is Monday. I have texted him a couple times and he has not responded. What on earth is happening?

ReplyMay 14, 2012, 1:45 pm


my boyfriend doesnt text or calls me anymore which is obviously making me really upset. i texted him a lot the last few days but still without replies. i know i probably seem too clingly and needy but sine we are in a long distance relationship i kind have the need to talk to him everyday! whats the right behaviour and what shall i do to make him contact me more? oh and every time i call him he barely answers but when he does i ask him why didnt you contact me and i get really mad! soo how should i behave? thanku

ReplyMay 8, 2012, 2:23 am


Hey guys! :)

So I’m having kind of the same problem here….I’ve been talking to this guy. He is like in his late 30s early 40s and I’m 21. Well he knows I like him and we’ve kissed before. It was 3 days ago (past midnight when he got off work. in his car. If it helps to figure him out, he had my head held really tight and wouldn’t let me pull away not even for some air! when he first kissed me [the week before] it was slow and not much tongue or saliva & he had his hands on my waist… but the night in his car it was a little more tongue flicking (nothing creepy) and I guess a bit more possesive with his hands…his other hand was on my arm. I could feel him a little shakey…don’t know if he was nervous of just horny though).
I’m pretty sure he likes me, but the problem is that whenever I text him, he doesn’t reply. I told him once I felt like I was reaching out to him and he’d just back away and he said he hadn’t replied cuz he fell asleep…so I asked him why he didn’t say so the morning after and he just put food in his mouth…obviously to evade the question.
He texted me last night saying “hello?? I cant sleep :-)” I was sleeping so I didn’t answer but I texted him today [about an hr or 2 ago] saying “I was fast asleep haha. :P how do you feel?” but AGAIN he doesnt reply. I really don’t know what to do. I wish I could ask him what it is he wants from me, but I’m not sure if I should. I know the right thing to do would be to move on…because he is so much older…but I really like him :/ [he doesnt really look that old…but he isn’t someone I’d go out with if it wasn’t at midnight to the 711 for a coffee]

ReplyApril 29, 2012, 2:44 pm


sounds exactly like the guy I am seeing right now. He does exactly the same things…even the text is the same “hello? can’t sleep”…. I hope is not the same guy and just curious….. where is this guy?

ReplyJune 18, 2012, 9:21 pm


LOL @ you two. You’re still giving up the ass for these guys, though, aren’t you? This is why men do it.

Even though both sexes do it, it doesn’t work the other way around. A woman won’t ignore your attempts to reach out to her, and then give you some ass when you keep persisting. If anything, she’ll think you’re a loser, and you’ll kill your chases.

But if a man ignores a woman’s attempts at contact, what happens? SHE WILL SLEEP WITH HIM. That’s why they do it, and that’s why women who fall for this are dumb.

Women who sleep with men who do this are reinforcing it and forcing men to have to play games with them.

Women pull away if they don’t like the guy, then the guy will get nothing. But men pull away, and even if they don’t like the woman, the woman will open her legs for him.

Good is bad, bad is good with women like this (ie: most of them).

ReplyAugust 11, 2013, 11:39 am


Hey all,
So I’m in need of some advice here because I do not understand. About a month ago, a friend of mine (we will call him C) told me had a friend(we will call him D) who had seen my facebook profile and immediately claimed he was inlove with me. D told C that he wanted to take me out on a date the next time he was home and was seriously interested in getting to know me. Along with a lot of other great things he said about me. Bottom line, he was HIGHLY interested. Next thing I know, we are FB friends and messaging each other back and forth. We would msg about twice a week because he would be busy being he is a semi-pro athlete. He would say things like he’s glad he will be getting to meet me and suggest that I go visit him during his season if I was free. He would also ask what I like to do in my free time. The last message he sent me was about a week ago. He sent me a wonderful message about what he likes to do and what his days consist of. A very long message at that. Clearly he took the time out of his day, which I dont think you do if you’re not interested. So I messaged him back the next day; answering all his questions and asking him some questions as well. It’s been about a week and I have still to get a response? Does this mean he is no longer interested? Even if he is the one that initiated everything?

ReplyApril 20, 2012, 9:21 am


hey :)

Maybe he’s just taking the time to make sure he doesn’t blow it with his answers. If he wants to make a good impression, then he has to think things thru. Also, he might be playing hard-to-get…you just gotta play bak! ;)

ReplyApril 29, 2012, 2:47 pm


Hello everyone, I think I really need help here.
So on Jan I met this nice guy at a party, and we clicked. Then we texted and talked before he asked me on a date. That first date was perfect. Ever since then we been talking and texting every single day. On Valentine’s he took me on a romantic date, and ask me to be his gf. I was not completely sure since we had just met… but at the end of the night I finally said yes. Everything was perfect at the beginning of the relationship (by perfect I mean, he will txt me all the time, call me, tell me he always wanted to be with me, etc) then it has been slowly changing. He still reaches out, txts, calls, but not with the same intensity. And sometimes he takes hours before he texts me back. I know that I sound needy, clingy, etc. But I can’t help it.
-What should I do to KEEP him interested?
-What can I do to attract him more?
-How can I stop caring so much about him and focus on my own life/goals again?
-Should I stop txting?
-Should I ignore him (but then again I don’t want to act passive-aggressive)

Help please!

ReplyApril 15, 2012, 12:33 am


What’s going on actually sounds quite normal. The intense, OMG…I finally found someone I actually like…phase is morphing into a quiet sigh. Not in a bad way, but he’s just relaxing in the relationship with you. To keep him interested, do what you’ve always done. Have you pestered him in the past if he didn’t text you? It sounds like you’ve been following his lead, if so…continue to do that. Why would you want to attract him more? Any more attracted and dude would be a stalker. lol The way you can stop focusing on him so much (I’m speaking from experience here) is maybe to view a pic of him in the morning or hang one of him on your dash or put one on your desk/locker at work to remind you that he’s not far from you…just becoming more and more confident in your relationship…take your moment to reflex on how you feel about him and then take off on your own life like a kid on a bike. lol Just do your own thing. If he’s as confident in your relationship as it sounds, he won’t mind at all and will totally support you doing your own thing. Only stop texting if you’re uncomfortable with how much you’re texting him. If you’ve been texting him like crazy and he’s been responding, don’t stop. That means that he enjoys you reaching out on a regular basis…which some guys like. Please don’t do the game playing thing that some of these comical, but absurd hollywood movies support. Game playing only leads to more game playing. It’s funny on the big screen, but in reality, it sucks and is a true sign of immaturity.

ReplyApril 18, 2012, 4:07 pm


so met this guy at my college and seemed pretty cool, we would totally hang out lots on weekends and even weekdays. never did anything sexual even though he would ask. he would ask me for photos and i sent him one of me but he said thats not what he wanted. that he wanted one of my boobs or booty. so i played it off and said no. a month later i gave in and sent him one. things seemed coool between us. he would still call and text me, and we still would hang out.. ( and when i say hang out like it was more of spending time together like we were a couple or some but we were just friends). then bamm! out of nowhere things changed and i sorta noticed it in late Feb. when i sent him a text he would give me one worded answers. Then it would be weeks before I heard from him, but thought it was nothing weird cause he would usually take a few days to text me after we talked before. But now its to the point where he doesnt even bother to text me or he wont even say hi to me when he sees me walking on campus or at a party. he will totally ignore me and I dont know why. I haven’t did anything to him. It hurts cause like i said we were soo close before this happen. Just wish I knew why he had to go and be a jerk. But I guess thats how men are, deprive you of your values then its eff you on to the next one.

ReplyMarch 27, 2012, 11:38 pm


girl, he’s got a new gf. sorry, but i’ve seen this kinda thing more times than necessary. he’s prob been playing around with her since he realized u weren’t dtf. he’s avoiding u bc he’s a jerk who doesn’t own a pair and doesn’t feel like dealing with the awkwardness of telling u that he’s got a new gf.

ReplyApril 4, 2012, 2:58 pm


:) makes sense .. sorta wish I never gave him the time of day.. but I learned my lesson.

ReplyApril 11, 2012, 6:26 pm


Heyy i really would appreciate if you gave me what your take on this is.
I have this bestfriend..or at least we still obviously feel that way but we aren’t much like bestfriends anymore.
We’ve known each other for 6yrs now and for almost 4of those years we’ve been split apart.
Back then we’d gotten complicated. We left alot unsaid but what we had was very much beautiful.But this girl came along. He liked her or at least that’s what i knew. I’d confessed and he didnt reply my messages when i tried to get to him. Then he replied me finally saying”i dont hate you” and that was his final text.
We both have a close group of guys in our circle of friends. One of this guys came to me and started taking extra care of me ,wanting to take my bestfriend’s place sort of . Then he told me something about my bestfriend.That night before we split, he’d gone up to a rooftop to be alone and cried. he’d told this guy he just didnt want to hurt me.
I’d asked one of a girl friends to help me pass him a leather chain with a ring on it. A mood ring..i had this rare one and he liked it so much that i’d promised to get him one too. So i kept my promise ya. He’d got together with that girl and even left our guys.
He’d somewhat got influenced by her and our guys told me he’d changed.After some time , she’d broken up with him, like it wasnt long and he came back to our guys. I dont know why she broke up with him.

I read your “how do you tell if he’s not into you “?? yea, i read that. And honestly he’s been doing everything that tells a guy is interested in you to me some time after that whenever we met up with our guys.Kinda like back then too but back then he was more expressive because we we tight and real close bestfriends. So yea..

And so i missed him, and started looking through his pics online. Something caught my eye by shock.. it was a leather chain with a ring on it . And i ran through his pics again just to realize he’s been wearing it ever since back then til now. But i’m the kind who doesn’t like reading into stuffs much so i’m just thinking it could be another ring or maybe he’s just wearing it because he likes it . i don’t now. But the ring definitely looks wayy too identical.
He’d also put up stuffs online which led me to think he’s feeling teh same way i am and maybe he did all that as a sacrifice for my sake back then.
And he can’t let go either but then again i don’t want to read into stuffs. He could be talking about that other girl ya?
There’re many possibilities.
What do you think?
I loved him back then and i still love him~

ReplyMarch 26, 2012, 3:33 am


Meet up with him . Go to arcade or party/dinner with friends. Play video games . Go to pool/beach.

Then ask him,… ” is that my ring ?”
He responds. No — just let things be.

He responds .yes— ” Oh, you must love me then ” * laugh it off*

From there I think he will let you know.

:) Carpe Diem.

ReplyJune 17, 2012, 1:45 am


I’ll complain that you have copied materials from one more supply

ReplyMarch 23, 2012, 4:05 pm

Eric Charles

ALL of my content is 100% original and written by me. What are you talking about?

ReplyMarch 23, 2012, 4:19 pm


OMG…eric you are so hot! and intelligent! I know women arent suppose to pursue men…but geez! You make me wanna break the rules! lol

ReplyApril 1, 2012, 11:09 pm

Eric Charles


ReplyApril 2, 2012, 5:22 pm


So ive been talking to this guy for a good few months now, we talked before but then he just dropped off the earth and didnt hear from him for 2months. i got over him, then he texted me one day… we started talking again solved everything. Here is the tricky part, we go to school together in same gym class but have only talked in person once or twice. We gotten to know eachother a lot over the months even just over text. he says he likes me alot and all this stuff. but he is too shy to talk to me. i make him feel this way and he gets so nervous and doesnt know what to say or do. Do i talk to him first? I feel like he leads me on though. His friends know about me, mine know about him. We open up to eachother alot when text. It is like we have known eachother for years but wont simply walk up to me at school… wtf?

ReplyMarch 22, 2012, 6:23 pm


Okay, I recently started talking to this guy. He kept on saying things that he liked and I liked also and we ended up having plenty in common. He said all of these really kind and sweet things. He just did something to me. Gave me a feeling that I never had from other people who talk to me. Then we started talking to each other over webcam so I could make sure he wasn’t some pedo phile. He was gorgeous, funny and had the sexiest English accent that I fell in love with.
It was perfect, until he told me where he lived. He lives in England while I live in Scotland.
After we found out more and more about each other. I decided to turn it into a “thing” which actually meant a long distant relationship.
It hurts when I think about him now. I feel a physical pain when I ament talking to him but when I am, it is magical.
Recently he hasn’t really been replying to me on facebook so Ive felt really worried. How should I feel ?!?!

ReplyMarch 20, 2012, 4:42 pm


Need some help everyone!!!

I have been dating a recently divorced guy ( final divorce for 3 weeks) for a few weeks now. Everything is perfect. He likes me , I like him , it’s magnetic! However his friends (that are women, he doesn’t ask his guy friends ) tell him he should not get to serious with anyone this quickly after a divorce because he needs to play the field and date several people so he can be sure when he finds the right one. I will admit I believe dating after a divorce or long term relationship is essential. I would probably have given him the same advice . I have been out on several dates (8-10) since my last long term relationship which ended 3 months ago. The dates were fun but there just wasn’t any chemistry with any of those guys. When I met this current guy it was like immediate chemistry between the both of us. Now… He unfortunately has only been out on one other date before meeting me and said there was no chemistry between the two of them but he is “scared” of hopping into a serious relationship with me because his friends (that are girls ) keep telling him to continue dating . He doesn’t really want to date anyone else and he really doesn’t have time to date anyone else but after being hurt so badly by his recent divorce , He is trying to protect himself. It seems obvious to me when you meet someone and it just clicks, why would you continue to date other people???

P.s. I know he is not a player and isn’t trying to play me… He is totally genuine but I think he actually believes in what his girls that are friends are telling him …… Of course …..

IMPORTANT….. I don’t think he has actually told his friends (that are girls) How he actually feels about me because if he had they probably would tell him to go for it .

So my question is:
1. When does someone know they have dated enough?

2. And what does a guy do when his (friends that are girls) keep telling him to keep dating because it is to soon to settle down even though he feels like he has found a women who he is very compatible with and enjoys spending time with?

3. What should I do? I don’t have any interest in dating anyone else now that I have met him but again I have had the chance to date several other people when he hasn’t. So I feel like I know what else is out there where he might not.

I need y’alls help… Send some suggestions my way.

ReplyFebruary 28, 2012, 2:32 pm


So, I met this guy on a dating website. We texted for a few days then decided to hang out. We went out to eat, watched some comedy, listened to music, and had great conversation. He kept asking me how I felt about him and what I was thinking so far. Proceeded to tell me how he really enjoys that I love to laugh, my down to earth, “chill about everything” personality, etc. Told me how his best friend friend said she really likes me and kept making comments about if we ever dated. He kissed me, and all around I thought it went well. I introduced him to a song, he fell in love with it. Today I updated my status with lyrics to that song, he ‘liked’ it and then updated his to lyrics of the same song. He has not texted me yet though or tried to get ahold of me. Is he waiting for me to do the talking or am I completely crazy and this is a lost cause? lol I know I shouldn’t be stressing it this much but I just want to figure out what’s going on.

ReplyFebruary 16, 2012, 7:14 pm


I understand where you’re conning from but we didn’t hook up. Yeah we kissed. But there was deff. No sex involved. Lol

ReplyFebruary 18, 2012, 8:07 pm


So I was pretty certain this guy liked me because he texted me all the time, flirted, and there were rumors going around. We’re both kind of shy in person so we mainly talked over texts. All of a sudden he stopped texting me and we hardly talk anymore. It was totally out of the blue so I figured he became interested in someone else. I had an idea that he became interested in my friend because they talk in person more and sure enough, they just became married on facebook. They’re not actually married of course, but we’re teenagers and I’m not sure if it’s just a joke or if it’s leading to an actual relationship. I’m kind of upset by this being that I really liked this guy. I’m pretty attractive and fun I guess so I don’t understand why he would so suddenly become uninterested. Not many guys are interested in me and I don’t know why. I guess I’m not a huge flirt but I don’t plan on being one any time soon… I need some advice.

ReplyJanuary 20, 2012, 1:06 am

Karen Spivey

Well I agree you shouldn’t say “why haven’t you texted back” but after reading numerous online articles from varying sources I must say I found a tactic that worked to my advantage … let me explain that we had communicated a few times then … a week goes by and nothing … so instead of saying “why haven’t you responded” I took a wittier approach. In my previous email to him I referred to him as a “mystery man” and that I was interested in knowing more about him (all being light hearted and jokingly). … I used the exert from my email in my text to accomplish my desire to see why he wasn’t responding and it turned out positive. My example text was “When i referred to you as a “mystery man” in my email … I wasn’t hoping this would turn into an “unsolved” mystery lol lol :) and he responded promptly … :)

ReplyJanuary 18, 2012, 9:19 pm

Karen Spivey

And actually I am so proud of myself for handing this in the “right” manner that I could honestly care less if this goes somewhere now or not … because I have since went out with another man :) I am taking this whole dating scene to a new level for me … building confidence and educating myself with all of your great articles as well as any forums online that can help make me better at this dating game! Yayaya thank you so much for all your wisdom! :) Much luv and appreciation!

ReplyJanuary 18, 2012, 9:45 pm

Hmmm...interesting stuff here

Hey there Eric and All,
I have read almost every single comment in response to this article. This is why….because I truly believe that a person who falls off from communicating, via text, phone call, or visiting in person is someone who you should let go. So, I just wanted to see how this theory has been working out for others, because as an older (37), vivacious, mature, stable, and very healthy minded single woman…my theory really hasn’t worked for me in regards to partnership. It’s kept me comfortable with my convictions as an individual, but we are talking about dating here. Dating is not about the single person being single. It’s about transitioning from singlehood to partnership. Now, with that said…lol…I wanted to address a statement Eric made back in July, because it really really stood out as a key indicator of what is wrong in every single one of these exchanges that have gone awry.

“I think you’d agree that if a woman is happy in general and loves herself, she’s in a better position to relate with men than if she’s not in a good place emotionally.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth. A woman who is happy in general and loves herself is in a better position to remain single. Let me explain why. Because as a loving and confident woman, so far…no one can love me like I can. Ahhhh…I see the light coming on. Get it?

A woman who is looking for partnership is not expecting the man to validate her being as men are for some reason unable to understand and relate to. A woman looking for partnership isn’t necessarily looking for love. She can get that from her bestie. A woman looking for partnership is looking for that special attention FROM a man, that ONLY a man can give partnered with loce in the way that he chooses to express it. I truly believe that a major part of what is wrong with the dating world today is that men don’t seem to understand that we think they are as special and unique as men see women. Men still think that women are looking at them as a resource or a tool…like a finely tuned vaccum. Well…let me tell you, I have NEVER met a vaccum that could give me what a man could and I promise you to God that if they ever do make one…I’m going to expend my entire income to buy however many of them that I can afford.

I do agree with a statement made by one of the male respondents in regards to a woman relaxing around men, to be true in the successful interactions I’ve had with men. Now, sucessful interaction doesn’t necessarily mean that we were able to sustain a long term committed relationship. Just that things didn’t go all bad, we just came to a point in the interaction where our ideas of what it means to make a partnership work, the process, didn’t agree. We had too different of POV’s about it all and they either were too different to combine or the timing was all wrong. I’ve been on both ends of it. Ones where the men were ready for committment, like an actual actual marriage and because I felt like I didn’t know them well enough…for like 2-3 months, they married someone else. NO LIE! I sent them my congrats for finding the committed relationship they were looking for and all was well. In other cases, there has been amazing chemistry between us and I felt like I was ready to at least take the relationship further as in declaring myself to be exclusively committed only to have him admit and be honest that he wasn’t quite ready, which in that case I’ve even asked to be wished well in my quest for partnership. lol However, I think this is where my experiences differ from alot of the other women’s who are on the board. Yes, we are all single or not in the committed relationship we envision. But, I can truly say that because I’ve seemed able to remain calm, relaxed, and understanding about whatever is going on with the man… ladies, I don’t know what it is, but I do not freak out. I don’t text over and over and over or call repeatedly or any of those things. Not because I’m anything more that you are not….but just because, well…I don’t. lol My personality is more laid back.

Going back to Eric’s statement, which is what compelled me to respond in the first place. A woman who is not in a good place emotionally is probably the BEST candidate to relate to a man. She is going to be so happy and appreciative to have his attention that he is able to bask in her love, proudly.

Actually, in my observation, it’s the fragile woman…the one who admits that she needs to be held and will appreciate that from a man…the one who IS falling apart and coherently can express WHY she is falling apart who is delivered the strong arms to help catch her from falling. I only have one request before I depart. Can someone PLEASE pull some of my seams apart so that I can genuinely become such a woman?? lol ha ha ha ha

Just kidding.

Men want MORE than just to relate. They want to be the knight in shinning armor too.

Thanks for listening and take care all,

ReplyJanuary 17, 2012, 6:45 pm

Eric Charles

You believe that a woman who’s not in a good place emotionally that her relationships will turn out better?

I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one…

ReplyJanuary 17, 2012, 7:07 pm

Hmmm...interesting stuff here

Eric…let me kinda explain further where I’m coming from. I was on break at work when I typed all that out and then had to interrupt to crisis solve before I proof-read my post. lol My apologies. However, AS a woman, I KNOW what other women in relationships are doing. They don’t talk to their men about their manipulative games. Those who aren’t playing manipulative games are an emotional TRAIN WRECK. Who do they talk to? Other women! I have one of the healthiest mindsets I know and I’m not bragging…it’s been through alot of faith and inner work that I’ve developed this far. I’m peaceful, understanding, calm, and collected.

That last piece, the collected piece…men like to be in the presence of it, but truth is…it makes them nervous. They don’t get how they can really help me, because to them, I’ve got it all together. I’m a single mother with older kids who are well behaved. We live in one of the biggest if NOT the biggest house on the block. Now, that’s not to say that I have more than most others. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but I’ve created and adopted healthy techniques for managing resources.

So, this is not to say that I haven’t had the freak out “feeling” that other women have. It’s what I DO with it that makes a difference. A HUGE difference. In conducting a somewhat loose study of what’s going on in the dating climate, I’ve asked the men who I’ve dated what they think of me…let’s say…2-6 months later. The accolades are baffling. Then they go on to tell me about who they are dating or are interested in and I find that the woman they are describing…from their POV, clearly NEEDS their help. I hear things like, kids are giving her a hard time, health issue, money problems, isn’t happy with work, family issues, met during some type of tragedy etc. Now…we ALL have issues. I’m just baffled as to why when we got along GREAT (as far as relating is concerned) that those men immediately viewed my strengths as a threat OVER considering my calm/sunny disposition as something desireable. Actually…men tend to lean more towards women who freak out. Not 50 texts a day freak out, but women who cry and ask them what’s going on or who tell them that they notice something is different between them and demand that it be fixed or revealed. Me…we relate well. They drift, I put in ONE call or text, no response? Ok…see ya later. lol Now, most times this isn’t a bitter farewell…like I said, the reasons you described are pretty much on point so I figure either he’s decided that another woman was a better fit…which is his right to choose for himself or he’s distracted/gotten busy, etc.

Now…9/10 guys boomerang, but I don’t know how to handle a boomerang, so I don’t accept the offer to re-engage. lol I’m the one who’s liable to miss that darn thing and get wacked in the face. lol ha ha ha ha

I guess to further my observations, can you please enlighten me on your description of an emotionally healthy woman?

ReplyJanuary 18, 2012, 12:02 pm


every guy is not the same lol good job to/

ReplyFebruary 1, 2012, 12:12 pm


A weak / broken woman … Needs a man to heal her & fix things . So dhe’ll devoted her mind , body & soul to him. Praise him like a God.

A happy , strong woman. Wants a man to compliment her lifestyle and be there for her.So, they have difficulty being satisfied .

ReplyJune 17, 2012, 1:57 am


Happy New year

ReplyJanuary 1, 2012, 2:29 am


hi, i hope you can help, me and my bf have been together for 4 years ,we were both abroad university students . after 1 year we move together and leave together for 3 years .we love each other so much and both still love each other , but 6 months a go he graduate from university and start looking for a job and although his qualified he couldn’t find any, but they have an office in the country we study and he start thinking to do something with the office , mean while his farther came to our city and told us start working on that office and he wish us luck in our life together and his proud of us because after 4 years we didn’t have any problem or fight with each other and we still love each other and he said i can’t wait for your wedding!!!!!!! we were both happy and start buying furniture for his office and ect . after 1 week his father ask him to come to our homeland and spend some times with him and he wants to show him some difficulty at work and he should experience this … so he left me in my midterm period.after 1 week i went to our country and he was surprising me with different things and had a great time like always together.after 3 weeks i came back for university and he told me he’ll be there in a few days ! i start working on my project and spent a whole week at uni . i was tired and start nagging why you r not coming , i can’t wait anymore and ect. the only problem we had in these years was in a long distance. he preferred less phone calls and be alone and i was nagging i miss u and it’s enough , i can’t wait anymore and so on , when he called me that night i was nagging and he told me i’ll come soon and stop this it’s not that big , lets talk about something els . but i continued and suddenly he told me he wants to go to usa and his father ask him to go! and his leaving in 2 weeks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was weekend so i bought my ticket and went to our country and talk with him.i told him this is my last semester y u wana do this and what happend …. and after a long conversation he told he will stay until i finish my school and then we’ll talk! so i cam back to uni and after 3 days he came too. and he was fresh again and start working on office stuff and he was happy again , but the day after his father called him and told him he should sell everything and in a week, he should go to our country and work with him or go to usa and start his MBA. so we were crying and i called her mother ( she is leaving in usa) and ask her y ? his parents got divorce 7 years a go but they are still in touch! and she told me its not his fault and he loves u so much and he talked about marrying you and it’s his father who knows how much my bf loves him and his using it as a power to stop him. it was my final exam period and he ask me lets forget everything and focus on ur exams and i did he was helping me and support me like always and when my exams finished he told me in a week we have to sel everything and you should go to dorm and he registered me for dorm and he payed the payment and everything. in a week we packed our stuff and i was crying and crying asking him whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ? many times, and he was silent. and told me its not you it’s time for us to get separate and do our life in a different ways . and you should accept this, its happening soon. he was crying too and keep saying i love you so much but i have to do this. i was beging him okey go we can continue our relationship. it’s 3 months i’ll finish my uni and i can join you. but he told me No it’s not gonna work !!!!! i’m still shocked. i’m 26 and his 24 and i know he loves me so much and he is my man!!!! we even talked about our wedding song and all stuff and our work, home, our kids our goals. Now i’m screwed. it’s been a week we brok up and we still in touch but his ignoring me and keep saying it should happen. you strong and you can do this ! in a week i should go back to the f country and start my last semester of university without him. he was my friend family roommate and all my support. i really don’t know what to do. yesterday i talked with him and he told he want to be free …. plz give me some advice i really don’t want lose him. i love him so much and i know his my man.

ReplyDecember 30, 2011, 9:56 am


If you can help: My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. Thigns have been good but as of late we’ve been fighting a lot. The other thing is that as of late my bf has bought a condo. Originally when he was searching, in told him I like the idea of house a lot better because of the future implications, but he said the condo was an interim investment just for 2-3 years, and then he would sell it. Now, because of my interests in life, (I’m in my early 30s), my bf and I have discussed things like marriage and children in the near future, so having a discussion about a house did not seem that inappropriate. Mind you, he’s 26 only. Fast forward a bit, and before I know it my bf has bought his condo, his furniture and has even selected his paint, without my input. It hurt me…I didn’t even know when he got his mortgage, when the paperwork or the down payment was approved or processed. It hurt me a lot. I didn’t even see pictures of the place before he bought it.
To add fuel to the fire, around the time of his move, I had exams and papers and wasn’t able to help him move or pack. He took this very personally, and told me I didn’t care. I did, and I did try to give him alternative dates which would work better for me, for things like painting, but it didn’t fit his schedule. I sincerely felt like an awful human being during that time.
Now that he’s moved in, there is now another thing. When I go over, and we fight, he starts threatening to kick me out. His excuse is, that I’m talking loud, but I think it’s just him power wielding, when I’m in his space. Sure, I may be speaking loud, or yelling, but I’m never screaming, and I don’t think it’s even that often in comparison to the times he’s mentioned kicking me out. Unfortunately, I don’t think anything warrents someone kicking out a woman (bc of her vulnerability), but that’s just me.
I’m miserable. I’m confused, and I don’t know how to react. The threatening to kick me out got to such a point, he once even said he would talk to security and tell them to not let me come up. That hurt, it brought tears to my eyes.
At this point, I’ve told him I’m not coming over to his condo anymore. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable being constantly threatened to be kicked out. I told him I don’t feel safe, and that unless we came up with an alternative solution we are both happy with when I’m over I would not be coming to his condo. It’s been really hard to keep to this, as I do miss him a lot.
It’s been a week and we still have not reached any conclusions. I tried to get him to resolve the issue for the past week, but it’s been a no go. I went as far as going to the coffee shop across his condo so that we could talk, and he feigned indifference when he learned that I was there. That hurt. He’s also refused to meet me outside of his condo ie. for coffee or the like, and thus, we haven’t been able to meet.
What Is going on here? I am so unhappy, and I don’t have the energy to endure games. Please help.

ReplyDecember 20, 2011, 8:35 pm


Did you talk about this with your guy? i believe he is under some sort of pressure maybe,why not just sit down and talk?

ReplyDecember 21, 2011, 11:36 am


Well, I’m not comfortable going to his place, because of him threatening to kick me out, and when I suggested the coffee shop, he said no. Now, he’s completely not returning my calls, and it’s been two days and I’m more confused then ever. I’ve tried to reach out several times, and nothing. Now I’m just tired. thoughts?

ReplyDecember 21, 2011, 8:11 pm


I’ve been dating this man for just 4 month. In the beginning when we first started seeing each other there were frequent texts through out the day. All flirty, cute and sweet. As the relationship progressed it became more serious. Even involving a trip abroad together. Very rarely would I receive a call…often times they would have to be prompted by me. During these 4 months there were two big hurdles that we had to over come. After every hurdle I believed we became closer. Unfortunately the texts are now rare and mundane. And I barely receive any calls. The few times I’ve initiated the calls I get the feeling that he’s just not really interested in talking to me but continued on just to be polite. Days pass between any communications. We normally see each other on the weekends and rarely during the week due to busy work schedule and horrific traffic for commutes. Often times I feel that he’s really not pursuing me or putting in the effort at all. As I always have to travel to see him on the weekends. But once in a while he surprises me with efforts so sweet. He doesn’t call. The texts are mundane. I always have to initiate dates and phone calls. Am I being delusional here? Am I the only one trying to make this relationship work? When he doesn’t contact me I feel that he’s lost interest. Is this neediness talking? Or is this man just not interested? Or does he just have poor relationship etiquette? And how to change that?

ReplyDecember 7, 2011, 7:38 pm


Easy solution to everyone’s problems:
Don’t message somebody about important things. Call them or see them in person. A text message is like an email- you can ignore it, forget about it, or perhaps not be obsessed with your phone- all of these things cause people not to return text messages.

Long story short: text messaging is a weak form of communication- don’t stress about someone not communicating when you’re not communicating well either (i.e. texting.)

ReplyDecember 3, 2011, 9:41 am


There’s a man I used to work with a long time ago. We had a brief relationship and when I left we drifted apart. Now over a decade later he’s back in my life. We’ve both come out of long term relationships (me with children). We’re a lot older and I hope wiser. We went away for what was a lovely break. Now we’re back, we’re still in close contact. We text back and forth a lot as its convenient. He texts me to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ with a lot of talk in between. He always texts me first, but the messages can also stop abruptly with no warning. The last couple of days the messages have been more sporadic and I’m not sure where I stand. He has a very high profile career and I have my children and my own career to keep me occupied and we’re both living in different parts of the country. I, in a roundabout way, let him know how I felt and now I’m wondering if that’s why he’s become more distant. I’m far too old to play games so if he’s not interested, I’d rather know for sure and move on with my life.

ReplyDecember 2, 2011, 6:43 am

Apple Blossom

Lovely break = weekend away. Wasn’t sure if that would translate as I’m from the UK!

ReplyDecember 2, 2011, 6:59 am

Flower White

He is dating other ladies. A man is never too busy to contact a woman that he desires.

You should NEVER be unsure about a man, should never allow yourself to feel bad or scared or unwell over the lack of contact from a man.

ReplyDecember 5, 2011, 6:16 pm


Your Crystal Ball tell you that he’s dating other ladies, does it? Just tell it like it is without thinking that what you say may actually hurt someone’s feelings. Thanks

ReplyDecember 5, 2011, 6:22 pm


OK so this post really helped me open my eyes to the past problems I have been having with this guy from my dorm. The relationship started on a mostly physical level as in I only wanted to hook up with him (Bad breakup 3 months ago, wanted a distraction :/). It didn’t exactly happen due to certain circumstances but ever since then ( 2 months) we have still been talking/texting/hanging out etc. He claims he likes me and he is just really hard to get to ( which is true, he is a perfectionist-never has had a drink or substance in his life, always works ahead in school, bed at 1030 kind of discipline) but ever since I showed interest in him he has gotten soooo cocky. Like I will admit I have been kind of clingy lately due to the insecurity of my breakup and the fact that this guy seems like a “challenge”, but he honestly treats me like dirt now. He will only text me if I text him, talk to me if I talk to him, etc. He is driving me crazy and dragging my self esteem through the mud, but I am like addicted to it or something?! I can’t just “pack up” and let go of him. Its been really bad lately and I have been falling under the “needy” category as described ^, but its not because I am needy, its because I want to draw guidelines. But as also mentioned, if you let it go for a certain time, they will think they can do whatever they want. The last couple weeks we have had limited/tense contact because of my last “needy” fit. I went home for the holiday and before I left we talked (FINALLY, literally took me forever to pin him down) and I explained to him that I dont like acting like I have and that I feel like I am degrading myself. I told him we should just be friends because it would be easier and neither of us would feel so annoyed all the time. But he told me that wasn’t what he wanted and said he had “already told me that he liked me”. We agreed to have space and that we would reevaluate after a week at home. He said he would text me, and we left it at that. HOW THE HECK IS HE SHOWING HE LIKES ME?! HE ISN’T. Anyhow, all week I was waiting for him to text me and he didn’t. By the day before I went back I had enough and texted him just saying “Hey I hope you had a good week”, and he replied “You too”, and that was it. My question is, is it too late tp redeem myself to the type of girl described ^. I know for a fact he is exactly the kind of guy described ^, likes confidence and a challenge. I can be that, normally I am, but I got in a funk from all the emotional baggage of my ex and now I made myself look stupid. I want to start over and be like the independent girl, but it might be too late with this guy…yes?

ReplyNovember 25, 2011, 12:01 am


Thanks! I only had to wait for 3 days! Patience is key!

ReplyNovember 22, 2011, 9:46 pm


@Lily: forget him !

Ignore him.

You’re young and all ” most boys” want right now.
Is sex.

Watch YouTube videos, about boys … Players… Cheaters…. a guy using you…. if a guy likes you”

FOCUS ON SCHOOL!( play a sport, volunteer, participate,join a club )
Stay a VIRGIN UNTIL MARRIAGE( girls will hate u because you are pure)
(you will soon see 1/2 your class pregnant or up to no good)

Always tell the truth.

” Friends do come and go”( less friends the better ; 1 friend is enough)

Don’t tell anyone your business, not even your friends.

ReplyNovember 21, 2011, 7:20 pm


my friend mari likes my friend matt and he likes her back. We are all really close but Mari doesnt know how to tell matt she likes him back. last week Matt told mari he likes her but she doesnt know how she should say it to him. matt told her through me which was really horrible cuz first he didnt want me to tell her and she got mad cuz matt is horrible at being nonshalant, so mari felt like we were beiong rude keeping secrets. she got mad at me because they kept secrets from me for way longer an i stopped talking to them for days. but mari is depending on me to figure out how to tell matt which is weird because she is usually the confident one and also because i have been gettting mad at matt lately because hes been rude to me but any way how should mari tell matt?
please help!

ReplyNovember 20, 2011, 1:15 pm


Thankuu soo ws all so helpful to deal with the problem.

ReplyNovember 20, 2011, 8:44 am

Confused 101

Hi, Yesterday I went into a store and the boy serving me couldn’t ge this eyes off me and he complimented once. I definatly felt a connection so I went back a second time and immediatly when I walked through the doors he flashed me a smile and seemed mesmerised. I tried my best to control my emotions, but I can’t help wonder if he’s worth going back to that store and getting his phone number. Do you think he wants to see me again and should we hook up?
Please help

ReplyNovember 20, 2011, 12:10 am


men are men… they wanted to be in control…and us girls think if they don’t text back it seems to us that they don’t love us but why not reverse the things that they’re doing to us??? they hate that… ignore them too, make them miss you, reply once and avoid talking to him so he will make him think why??? is the text reply will be ur basis for their love??? why not refrain yourself from texting?get the ugliest celphone that is too hard to use with texting so you will be lazy to text… we cany control anyone’s emotions…we are responsible with our own emotions! so show them not too much emotions…

ReplyNovember 19, 2011, 8:46 am

PollyAnna Playgirl

This is GOOD advice!!

Mirroring is often a good tool. If someone doesn’t care, to try to draw them back in by acting like they mean the world will distance them further. Act like you don’t care too and they’ll be thinking “Why isn’t she caring about me as much as she should?”. It will make them CHASE you (something men are wired to do) and you will end up better for it. And if they don’t chase? Well, it wasn’t gonna work out. I’m telling you, men hate desperate women.

Case in point: when my boyf dumped me, I adopted a nonchalant attitude to the breakup instead of trying to get him to talk. I literally told him I accepted it…I mirrored him. Now this guy has literally been BEGGING me to get back together!!! Can you believe it? I swear, had I been the one to beg or shower him with love in order to get him back, I doubt very much he would have shown as much interest as he is doing now!!!

ReplyFebruary 15, 2012, 8:35 am


Yeah I feel the same way-
But then that problem arises within my head…
What if he just continues to not text, and I don’t text? Then I feel like I’m failing as his girlfriend and I feel like it’s partly my fault we’re drifting…
Because he doesnt text me. And when he does, I have to start the conversation. If I never started the conversation, we would never have it. Thus, we drift and become less close. :(
I don’t know what to do!

ReplyFebruary 27, 2012, 9:54 pm


I discovered 10months after dating my boyfriend is dating another girl and has been dating her for past 3 years. A night before I called the other girl, I saw text messages which they both exchanged. The contents were too erotic for a mere friendship/ex/business partner relationship that he had claimed it to be when I asked him once. I was so angry and furious. My boyfriend told me that he didnt want to be with the other girl. Said he was trying to pull away gradually because he had some financial commitments with the other girl which he was trying to break off. He also said, the girls family was trying to give him some magic portion to make him marry the girl out of his will and he was trying to be careful about breaking it off abruptly.
I didnt believe his story. Next day i called the girl, and to my dismay, found out that he had been dating her all along. I discovered he had lied to me on several occasions about several things. I disclosed to the other girl, what he had said about charm and financial commitments. Later that day, without knowing that I had called the other lady, he went to visit her. Apparently she confronted him. He called me and told me the relationship was over and he didnt want to ever talk to me again.
He said I betrayed him. Is this a cheaters ploy?? or did I really betray him??
I pleaded with him even after knowing that he cheated on me, but he said the relationship is over and it will NEVER work out. Its been 10days of no contact, and I am hurting so bad. Do you think he will ever contact me again??

ReplyNovember 18, 2011, 12:32 am


OMG Whats wrong with you girl? Why do you want to even speak to him again??? He’s a loser and has one of the WORST qualities a man could ever have- he is a backstabbing LIAR!!! Go out and start looking elsewhere, and I mean now. Go call your friends. Go out. Do things, anything to not think of him.. Go to the gym, get your hair done, nails done. Laugh, have fun. Don’t even spend a second wasting time thinking about him! Why not go on a dating website maybe like OKCupid?? ( After a horrible break up I found an amazing man on there) Distract yourself from him and NEVER look back. Trust me on this and BE STRONG! Do not waste your tears on a lying, backstabbing piece of shit LOSER! I know there were certain things you liked about him, and you and him might have had some good times, but honestly you’ve seen his true colors and this a huge, blazing RED FLAG. Ask yourself in your heart would you really, truly want to be with a man like this????? No girl, you dont! You deserve way better! LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU and MOVE ON. You MUST. And in a year or two’s time you will probably laugh back and think how you could have accepted such behavior. AND most likely when you find a great, loving, NON-LOSER new man, or after ignoring him for awhile, this piece of shit will most likely come crawling back to you with apologies but you know what- YOU WONT WANT HIM!

ReplyNovember 18, 2011, 11:37 pm


hello!! I have a little question…

basically, there is this guy in my class who i have been friends with for a year and recently we have gotten really close and have been talking about everything. Also, recently we have started this kind of flirty game going on, and its weird because we know we do it as a joke but sometimes i feel like it could be serious flirting leading onto something, but im confused because I dont have a clue of what he thinks this is; a game? etc. To give an example of how we flirt? well, we kind of have this thing where whenever we see eachother (be it from across the room, next to eachother..) we say ‘I love you’ in whisper, so that only us two see what we say.. we also stare into eachothers eyes, and sometimes i make little flirty jokes and we laugh (as if to say, i know you’re joking..)whatever, i dont know.. its been going on for a couple of weeks i think. the other day, he asked me if i would ever go out with this guy form our class (he is gross by the way) and he basically wrotee : “would you go out with him? because if you would i would be heartbroken”, i said definitelyy not! andd we kind of laughed. we both acted like that was a little joke, part of our flirtatious game, i took it as a joke (although i dont want it to be a joke), was it a joke though? could he have been hintingg in a sly way? :S or was it just an addition to the flirting we developed? another time was when a teacher saw us whispering our secret messages to eachother, suspected that we were going out. so when she asked him if we were, he said ‘ mmmm, why dont you ask her?? (me)’ we have led a few people to think we are going out, and havent denied it but havent said that we are, i dont know why, maybe we just get a buzz off it?? he has a few days ago gotten friendlier with his ex who he swore to me he wudnt go out with again for certain reasons, and it has slightly bothered me a bit. I asked him if anything would happen with her, and he was a bit unsure, although after contemplating about it he said he will stand by what he told me before. i told him that honestly, if he did go out with her again, it would bother me. and after he asked why, i tried to be sly and told him that she has just been annoying me lately, attracting attention. i dont know if it seemed like it but he seemed to back her up by saying that shes just like that… he saw that that wasnt it, so he managed to get more out of me. not the whole truth, but i wud say enough of a hint?? or not? you tell me, i said that me being bothered by him dating her again wudnt necessarily have a lot to do with her, it wud be more to do with how i feel…. after which his response was “hmmm, i see” and smiled(what do you think of that? obvious enough clue for a guy?) his ex also happens to be a friend of mine. i would say a good friend, but whos been becoming a bitch recently. nevermind that though, i would say the flirting was harmless if i didnt like the guy. but ive started to develop some sort of feelings towards him, and im pretty sure i like him. but its complicated because he is my friends ex and shes starting to think of trying to get with him again (she told me) . i may not be a good friend by doing this, but i will try and put her off him and onto someone else because all my trust in people has gone so im sticking with myself, and i want to know if you think there might be a chance with this guy or if this flirtatious game is just that, a little game to him?
is there a good chance that he could be feeling the same way towards me aswell? i just want to know if theres a chance, i would deal with the friend-ex-thing later :/

ReplyNovember 17, 2011, 6:44 pm


where has my comment gone?

ReplyNovember 16, 2011, 8:53 pm


I just moved and was becoming interested in this guy at my new school because he’s the only cute one here but i did stuff with two of his friends when i shouldn’t have because my boyfriend of 18 months broke up with me and i just wanted to be wanted, and now he thinks I’m too wild for him. What should i do? because i want him to be interested in me too…

ReplyNovember 14, 2011, 8:45 pm


I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for just over 3 years, we met just before i went away to university and have had to deal with distance for a long time. Now I’ve graduated and i’ve had to be away a lot due to various work placement opportunities i’ve been taking with my creative partner. We’ve had our problems along the way just like any couple and we always seemed to get through them. 2 years ago we he had broken up with me because of some difficulties we were going through and i was heartbroken, i tried to spend time with my friends as i was a mess and still very much in love with him, however I ended up seeking comfort in another man, something i’m not proud of but don’t regret as i often felt confused if my bf and I were really meant for each other, he was my first sexual parter but as he is 6 years older than I am he had been with many women before meeting me. The man i found comfort in made me realise how strong the connection with my bf was and i knew we had to make it work. We got back together and i didn’t tell him about what had happened, we were still so delicate and I couldnt bring myself to tell him. As it happened while we were not together I don’t consider it cheating but I hated myself for it for a long time. During the first couple of weeks we were together I had kissed a boy at university and told him straight away, being drunk was not an excuse and i told him how badly i felt about it. He was angry and upset and he said he wished i hadn’t told him, we got through that and he never held it against me in any way.

What happened with myself and the man i found comfort in during our break up so long ago came out into the open a few months back, he wouldn’t speak to me for a few days, he brought all my things round to my house and told me he never wanted to see me again. I persuaded him to meet with me as i had some things to return to him and I gave him a note. we parted and i was in tears, he contacted me a short while later and we discuess our situation, we spoke about what had happened and he asked me if I still wanted to be with him. We got back together.

Now our relationship is on the rocks again, the combination of many things, me being away, our previous break up, our sex life (he has some problems but i’ve always been understanding and we still don’t know what is wrong here as it comes and goes), and other little things seem to be bothering him a lot. He said he doesn’t see me the same way anymore and he’s been treating me differently for awhile now, not wanting to see me or talk to me, not being intimate with me, and it hurts a lot because i still love him. We spoke on the phone for a long time as he explained how he thinks we shouldn’t be together anymore, saying things like ‘he doesnt want to hold me back in my career’ and ‘he still loves me’ i’m so confused by all the mixed messages. We are still talking through text messages and i know his home and work life are a mess right now. I just need to know if there is any reason for me to keep fighting for our relationship or if it’s hopeless. I need to know how he really feels because if we are not going to be together there are opportunities for me to move away from home, something i told him i would never do if it meant we couldn’t be together.

ReplyNovember 14, 2011, 5:11 pm


I desperately need a piece of advice here. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now, everything was going smoothly at the beginning. However, starting this year, things started to change. I was the one calling, texting, sometimes he did call/text me back but sometimes not. I started even to be the one who always suggest we hang out to which he responded most of the time that he had a lot of work bla bla. I tried to talk to him about that and he told me that he loves me but he has so much work and his head was so stuffed with things. things started to get well between us, we even started to bring up marriage. 3 months ago, i dont know what got onto him but he went back to his bad habits, not calling, not texting back, disappearing and so on. So I decided to change the way i used to react to this and started giving him the silence treatment. it did work actually, he would get abck to me, trying very hard to win me back. but once everything is well between us, he went back again to his bad habits; this has been the case for the last months. I even tried to leave him but he would beg me to stay with him saying that he loves me and he just cant live without me. I really don’t know what to do, does he really love me ? but if he doesn’t why would he do anything to win me back and to avoid the final breakup? I am really confused….pleaaase help

ReplyNovember 13, 2011, 5:30 pm


Let him go.

Your heart will heal.
He will regret it.

Don’t ever take him back.

Watch videos on YouTube about boys, heartache, getting ex back,breaking up, signs cheating , … and all your boy troubles .

ReplyNovember 21, 2011, 7:09 pm


Guys are so stupid they get so vague!
So I like this guy in school and he’s kinda interested in me.. We are really good friends, like backslapping, always teasing and making fun etc.. But since this liking thingie began I dunno where from all this dumb shyness has come!! I am usually quiet around him (I was since beginning only, but when I start talking I get normal) but he was super chatty and nice.. But now it’s like he’ll look at me from a distance, stare, and look away. He talks normally (though less) to my friends! Also he expects me to always go upto him and talk, why the hell cant he come??
He told my friend yesterday when she teased him & me that she could check his cell, it dsnt have many msgs from me, and also tht I “hardly reply” to his msgs.. Well, what the hell am I supposed to reply to forwards?! And I do msg him (once in 2days/daily), like forwards only..
Please tell me how can I get him to open up like previous!? And should I do more like msg more, and go & talk to him..?? :( (@Rachel do reply :) )

ReplyNovember 11, 2011, 5:18 am


@Divya : Stay in your lane.Don’t Change

He like you and is too shy and lacks confidence.( A man must have confidence)
Forget him.
He’s had more than enough time

—- just ignore what they say about him and LET HIM TEXT/COME TO YOU
don’t ever text or go to him first—

You are a Queen.
” pick , choose , and refuse ”

Don’t let Love make a fool of you , Darling :)
Use your Noggin!!!!
Okay,Beautiful ? :)

* visit back soon*

ReplyNovember 21, 2011, 6:51 pm


Hey Rachel lonnng time.. :) :)
Yeah you’re right, we’re royalty, girl. I’ve gotten over the crush; I was getting too hyper ya. He sure has had enough time..
You know what that’s exactly what I’m doing since I’ve written to you avoiding him. And he’s got something in his head- like he’s getting er, excited :P. Kept waiting at his class door to see me I had to chng my place to avoid. And came and sat with us during lunch & STARED AT ME QUITE ER SERIOUSLY AND STUPIDLY :P
And today I didn’t talk, neither did he come (told you na, he expcts ME to go upto him.. Well gone are those days, we aren’t desperate! ;) ) so during releasing time he waited till we came out & then stood and started a convo. The supid kids of my bus weren;t coming quickly & I just wanted to leave, man :P. He was chatting with another friend of mine & told me “Go home directly ok don’t go roaming around” (obvio in a joking way), I looked at him to acknowledge and went and looked for my bus driver. When I came out he was still there and again he called my name and said the same thing.. I was like “No no, today toh I’m coming to your place!” :P
He pointed to my friend whom he was talking to “Come to her place, she stays beside me only”. [Seems he thinks I die for him (or WHAT DID THAT MEAN?)]
U know Rachel I still feel he’s got something for me but ego’s coming in between. More so cuz that day when he came to sit while we were having tiffin, I noticed this expression of “See-I’m-here-I-had-to-throw-my-ego-off-just-because-of-you-now-are-you-happy”, it was weird ya as if he’s doing me Succchhh a favor by coming to talk .. Noone told him to come. Hah!

ReplyDecember 16, 2011, 7:12 am


Please Help! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month now and he doesnt text me! he has a phone, I know he does, because he only texts if i hav texted his more than once. And at school, he doesnt talk to me. I mean, he acts like we are dating but he doesnt truly talk to me. We have never had a true conversation! and it kinda hurts to think i dont mean enough to him to text me. or even call me! what should i do?

ReplyNovember 10, 2011, 8:55 pm


@Jessica: He’s not your boyfriend

He’s just trying to impress the guys.
Most likely he has another girlfriend.

Cut him off. He’s a stranger. No sex or naked pics.
Too many STD & pregnancies.

Be a Good Woman… (girls will envy )
Focus on school. Take care of body,hair, & health.
Play a sport. Workout and have good times with friends.

Trust me. A good guy… will meet your parents.
Tell the world. Call & text you everyday ..and show you off.

Just please you and do all you want.

Just be a beautiful smart girl til then.

Watch YouTube about Boys .. Side chick …players… other woman. All your boy troubles & questions.

ReplyNovember 21, 2011, 7:02 pm


Hi Eric ! Can you help me out?
I met this guy this summer who leaves an hour flight away from where I live and I think we had a good connection. (Spent the night talking and kissed).
When I got back he started messaging me on Facebook and we messaged back and forth. But he’s been acting differently for 2 months now. He keeps on sending me messages, so I answer and ask questions back but he NEVER answers back which is kind of frustrating. What should I think and what should I do?

Thank you !

ReplyNovember 10, 2011, 7:09 pm

Heidi H.

Hi, Eric! It’s times like these where I need male insight the most; even though I feel as though I have a pretty good head on my shoulders, I am starting to enter the realm of the irrational. FAIL.

Anyway, I met a guy a few weeks ago. Long story short, we attend different universities about 4 hours apart. He got my number, began to text me, and then asked me out to dinner. He traveled all the way down to my city this past Friday for shopping (or “shopping” – not to be presumptuous) and to take me out, as a reward to himself and some downtime. Throughout our date, he kept mentioning how much he liked how clever I was, and gave me a few strategic complements about my appearance. Our conversation was filled with everything from politics and traveling to the craziest things we had ever done. He paid for everything, put his arm around me during walks from restaurant to restaurant, asked me to dance, and was thrilled when I could keep up with his level of sarcasm. We ended up getting drunk and spending the night in his hotel, drinking wine, cuddling, kissing, watching terrible late night movies and laughing about them. We woke up the next morning, made a few snarky remarks about waking up together, and got coffee. I then dropped him off and he gave me a big hug, thanked me, and told me to call him when I was back up (during Thanksgiving). On my way home, I received an inside joke reference text from him, and we had a little text conversation. That was Saturday. It is now Wednesday. I contacted him on Sunday night with something funny I found that had to do with our date (he answered back and we had a brief text conversation), and again on Monday because it was his birthday. He hates birthdays, so I sent him a picture of his favorite kind of beer and wrote something to the effect of “a beer for your completely normal day, which holds no significance ;)”. He wrote back “Haha. Yes.” And that was the last I heard from him.

I am worried I did something wrong, and I usually don’t get like this, but it seems as though he and I really clicked and I don’t understand why he has stopped texting me. Before our date, he contacted me almost everyday (there was a gap of one day a few times, but he was consistent and his texts were longer than just a few words). I have not texted him since Monday. Could you please give me some advice, or your opinion on what’s going on?

I am really worried…


ReplyNovember 10, 2011, 3:02 am

Heidi H.

Also, I might want to add that I usually have a “hit it and quit it”
problem… guys always assume that I am a bimbo (because of my appearance; big boobs, blonde hair), and don’t really take the time to get to know me. They try to get with me, and then move forward with their romantic lives regardless of whether or not I give them anything. What is most interesting, however, is the fact that most of them remain friends with me and come to me for girl advice. I have been told that I am too nice…

Can anybody help me? It seems as though I am perpetually stuck somewhere between “friends with benefits” and a second date.

Thank you.

ReplyNovember 10, 2011, 3:13 am


Hi Heidi! I just wanted to suggest to read a book called “Why Men Love Bitches”. I too am a “nice girl”. I have not completely read the book Im halfway thru, but it gives really good insight on why “bitches” (the book explaines being a “bitch” is not in the derogatory form of the word) always gets ahead. In your case, i think the reason he kinda pulled away was because you didnt let him work for it. I mean, he did at the beggining, HE came to you, HE paid for dinner, etc. But you hooked up on the first date. Leaving him nothing to work for. His objective had been completed without him going out of his way to work hard for it. I am not suggesting you are a floozy or anything of the like-you sound like a down-earth girl. However, you need to make him WORK for it. Hard. You are too valubule to give it up after a first perfect date… Pull back a bit. Dont text or call-even if you are DYING to!! Keep it to yourself. Do things you like to do to pass the time. And if you guys had the chemistry you think you did, he will come back. Patience is key! Good luck blondie. :)

ReplyFebruary 18, 2012, 4:15 pm


I’m sorry Heidi, I must have misunderstood when you said hook up.. did he ever call you again?

ReplyFebruary 18, 2012, 8:53 pm

Meghan Cahue

Soo. i know this guy and I knew him since 6th grade and right now im in 8th. We go to different school. He doesn’t have a facebook or cell phone. Only time I see him is at soccer practice, which ended. But i do see him every Sunday at family ccd. His father was my ccd teacher in 4+5 grade but now im in family ccd with his family and mine. I really like him. I knew him for a long time and we talk. At are soccer party last week, my neighbor meet him and now likes him after meeting him once. I might invite him to go to free skate or the movies with me, him, my friend (girl), and her boyfriend. He is not a jock or nerd, he is really sweet. My mother says he is a gentlemen.

ReplyNovember 7, 2011, 9:57 pm


ok so I met this guy last weekend when I was on a short (1hour drive away) weekend away. We gelled and talk for about 2 hours then he came back to our place and we talked for another 2 hours. And then (going against every advice) we made out and did ‘a bit’ (but not all) of other stuff and then he asked for my number. the next evening again being a little tipsy I texted him a short (one sentence,no question) text and he texted the morning after. I then sent another short, text the next day (with no question) but no reply. I guess I’m wondering if I should send him a quick text this weekend or just leave it. Its hard because we really gelled I felt. And yes I know that hes probably just not into me and if so what should I do next time this situation arises? I mean tbh I don’t have problems meeting guys or ‘picking up’ guys but I do struggle with going further than that night. And the guys that I do end up dating are the ones Im not attracted to physically. Im 25 now and really just want a normal realtionship with a normal guy that I have chemistry with.

ReplyNovember 5, 2011, 2:07 am


Hey there, so I have a little problem. And I’m most likely over thinking and should just stop worrying about it but here it goes. So me and this guy have been friends forever, and hooked up for the first time over the summer. Then a few months later he gets a girlfriend, and that’s like what ever. But anyways a few weeks ago he started texting me saying that he wants to hook up again even thought he has a girlfriend! And he even told me that his girlfriend thought he was cheating on her, and he still want’s to hook up. But I finally said to him that this is why she thinks hes cheating on her. you know because of the messages he has sent me and he says to me “well I would never fallow through with it”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!!! Please help

ReplyNovember 1, 2011, 3:31 pm


Maria… Hi, I’m not Erick but I’d like to help if I may :)…

Honestly, I don’t really think you need an answer to this. i think the answer is self explanatory, and is probably galloping through your subconsciousness as we speak…

This guy is not ready for anything serious. I mean, he isn’t even owning up to the relationship he’s in, so why bother? I’m not judging you, but something like this should probably turn you off.

I’m not sure deciphering his text is what matters here.. maybe you should try to pull back and look at the situation as a whole before you think this guy is giving you any special treatment.

I hope that helped :)

ReplyNovember 2, 2011, 1:35 am


Leave him alone!

He’s trying have his cake and eat it too.
Clearly, he’s not ready for commitment.

Respect Yourself!
You can do better and deserve someone who gives you thier all.

Don’t believe him.

Do not go out with him… Even if he breaks up with her.

He’ll forever be unfaithful.

Remain , just friends!

ReplyNovember 6, 2011, 12:03 pm


Hey there, so I have a little problem. And I’m most likely over thinking and should just stop worrying about it but here it goes. So me and this guy have been friends forever, and hooked up for the first time over the summer. Then a few months later he gets a girlfriend, and that’s like what ever. But anyways a few weeks ago he started texting me saying that he wants to hook up again even thought he has a girlfriend! And he even told me that his girlfriend thought he was cheeting on her, and he still want’s to hook up. But I finally said to him that this is why she thinks hes cheeting on her. you know because of the messages he has sent me and he says to me “well I would never fallow through with it”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!!! Please help

ReplyNovember 1, 2011, 3:31 pm


Hi, I read the post and become part of the forum as well, logged in, but still I cant get to read the article u recommended: How To Get Him To Text You Back It keeps me sending to the enroll page, how can I read it?? Help please.

ReplyOctober 31, 2011, 1:20 am


girls welll i cheated on my gf and i told her about it and she got real mad and dumped me and we didnt even txt for a month and she dated this guy like 2 days after we broke up and now she txtes me all the time and we actually call eachother and stay on the fone for an hr or 2 but she still has a bf and she told me not to tell anybody but she says were also friendds just friends and i understand tht but how long do u think it will be before she will go bck out with me or trust me again bc i only got a pic from a girl it wasnt tht mad and do u think she still loves me and stuff

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 4:44 pm



She is using you.
Taking advantage of your kindness.
Be with someone who appreciate it.

Cut off all contact.

She can’t have her cake and eat it too

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 7:38 pm


Dump her?. They weren’t going out. The dude just said they were friends now. How can you take advice or help from other people when you can’t help yourself. Work on yourself, and fixing the problems you created and maybe re-evaluate your situation

ReplyDecember 20, 2011, 3:36 am


I met my boyfriend 4 mouths a go and ever think was going so good. we talked ever day even when he was at work we would intil we fall a sleep some times. he would alway tell me how much he loved me and how he would never let me go or let anything happend to me. he would tell he was so luck to have me as his girlfriend and he would tell he hated all my ex boyfrinds and he would never hart me. he asked me if i would have his kids and we would joke aroud about how many kids we would have and talk like we had kids and we where married. he use to call me babe or wifey and he would tell me how Beautiful i was and when we frist stared going out he would call me after are date to make shore i got home ok and he would tell me he miss me and tell me how much he liked are date. and when we frist met i had a promise ring and he told me he would get me a better one. and alway talk about thing we would do together.but now it seem like he want nothing to do with me to talk to him i alway have to call or txted him fist inless we are going to hang out then he will be calling and txting me but after it what ever. some times he gets upset with me if he dosent what i say or ask him like one time i said to him i would talk to him later because he was busy and he told me to never say that again. and some times he will say well why are you with me for no reaseing and it makes me feel like he dosent want to be with me and now he will only tell me hes loves me after i tell him frist and he use to txt me good night and now he will only say it after i say it. and he txt it back like good night love ya 2 and one time when i was on a date with him his friend call looking for him and told his friend he went for a walk. oh two time we had planes to hang out and he didnt show up. and one of the times we had plans to met up and he never showed up and he lefted me waiting at the beach and he told me only that he couldnt after i txted to see if he was come. but when i got mad at him he turn it aroud and made it my folt. and i just stard haveing sex with him and 3 nights a go he want to see me but it was late so he askedme if i would sneak out so i did.but two days later i txted and he told me he was sorry and he would never have me sneak out again. i want to but at the same time i was hopeing it would make him want me more. some times i feel like he dosent want me any more and i think about brake up with him some times just to see if he will try to get back to with me but at the same time i dont want to do because im scard he wont came back. i love him so much i scard of loseing him so i dont know how to fix whats wrong and i dont know what to say to him because i dont want to make him upset.

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 12:44 am


I meet my boyfriend 4 mouths a go and ever thing was going so good. we talked ever day even when he was at work he would call me and all day intil we went to bed some time we would fall a sleep on the phone. he would alway tell me how much he loved me and asked me if i would have he kids and we would joke aroud like we a right had kids and like we wher married and he told me he would neve let go and he would never let anything happend to me. i have a promise ring but he didnt get it for me but when we frist meet he told me he would get me a better one i thought that was so sweet but a little after that he still hasnt gave me one. and now he dosent call or txt me that much anymore i alway have to call or txt him frist and it seem like we olny talk when we are going to hang out to gether. and now he only said i love you if i say it frist and some time when he txts me i love back he say i love ya 2 and he gets up set with me wehen i say some thing like telling him i will talk to him later because hes busy or some time ask him some thing like one time my friend told me he was seeing a other girl and i told her he wouldnt do that but to get her to stop saying that i asked he and he all most broke up with me. but if i get upset with him about some thing he truns it aroud a makes it my folt and then he will ask me why im with and tells me to find some one better and makes me feel lke he dosent want to be with me. now some times i feel like hes tired of me and some times i want to brake up with him to see if try to get back with me but im scard to do that because im scard that he wont and that he will go find some one else. and still love him so much that this is all harting me and i dont know what to say to him with out makeing him mad.

ReplyOctober 27, 2011, 10:45 pm



Break up , with your boyfriend.
He’s only telling you what you want to hear.

All lies ….

His response to your actions is a sign of abuse.
No one should ever talk to you , Like that .!!!!
Don’t ever tolerate it.bad behavior.

You & your happiness is your 1st priority

;) you will love again.
Go out , exercise, find a hobby until heart break is over


:D Virgins are 1 of a kind , now
. Highly favoured by God.

Be proud and shout it out loud!!!!
Seriously, no sex until marriage.

Too much STD & Babies.

You are a Queen.
Wait for your King.

Watch Virgins on YOUTUBE.

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 8:07 pm


a coupleof weeks ago, i met this guy and we instantly clicked, we had so much in common and i was really attracted to him. HNe initied most text conversations after that but i initiated a few too. we met up twice after that, each time HE asked if i wanted to meet up.. The 3rd time we met i slept with him. I wanted to wait, but i really wanted it in that moment and i thought i shouldnt try to manipulate the siuation. If he wants something more, then having sex so soon wont change it, if he just wants me for sex at least i’ll know and be able to move on. I told him i’d be around near his place that saturday as i go to a clothes market there sometimes and if he wanted to come. He said he’d text me. Anyway later that evening, he texted me asking how im doing etc, but after texting back he took over a day to reply. After i replied to that he didnt text back anymore. He didnt text to say if he was coming to the market, so on the saturday i called him once but he didnt pick up so i guess he was sleeping. Later that day he called me back but i missed it. So 12 mins later i called him, again he didnt pick up. So i texted saying i was around earlier but i guess he was sleeping. Late that night he texted back saying he hoped i had fun and that he had an exam the next day. This time i replied 2 days later, and it has been 3 days and still no reply. I had got free tickets to a comedy show and asked if he wanted to come, he asked when it was, i told him when, and he hasnt replied.
Do i come across as too needy? I regretted calling him again on the saturday, thinking i came off as needy, and I have asked him if he wants to hang out (at the market and comedy show – even tho he’s the one who said we should see a comedy show soon). I’m really new to this relationship stuff (in fact im not sure i even want a r/s with him, just be friends or sth casual) and i’m just confused as to how i should be acting, and why he suddenly is uninterested.

ReplyOctober 27, 2011, 2:59 pm


Leave him a lone.

When a guy wants to be with you or be your friend .

They will make the time & effort.

Leave him alone, cut off all contact.

He will only link you for sex or when he is bored.

He has shown you he has no interest in you or the things you do.
:-/ sorry girl.

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 7:56 pm


I am currently in a difficult situation where my ex-boyfriend seems confused about what he wants….He teases me by doing a lot of the things we did during our relationship (sweet, affectioned, and etc). He has been coming around and calling on and off……just last week he came over feeling sick and so i took him to the hospital and stood with him all night till the morning to find out when his results came back a day later that he has liver cancer….that same day I had to go to work and so I had a normal day to find out that my company is undergoing an organizational reconstruction and my position was eliminated. However, he still not receiving chemo therapy but his mother has chosen to have him seen by some kind of natural doctor because they dont want to put him on chemo treatment. He has tried talking to his mother about me and his mother had a negative response from her…how can we or I talk to her if she does not wants to see me next to him nor talk to him? Its has been very difficult talking to him and seeing him because of her….Please help with some advise on this situation……!!!!! :-((

ReplyOctober 27, 2011, 1:57 am

Evlyn Lary

What is the facebook page under? I came across this page and am finding it very helpful in all that i have read so far. :)

ReplyOctober 26, 2011, 3:55 pm


I my man only play with video game when he get home from work , I alway have to come up with something for us to do. he nerver show me no love then he get in bed than go to sleep no touch or hug .what should i do.

ReplyOctober 25, 2011, 3:36 am


Your man sounds depressed.
or maybe he’s just not into you …..and just focused on himself .

What are the things he likes ?

Try : Dave & Busters is fun ( invite a group of friends too : )

Sushi place …..where they do all that cooking stuff/entertainment
b)Gun Range
c) Go Carting
d) concert

e) comedy show
f) bowling…pool hall
g ) Comic Con
h) Auto Show

Or have a get together at your place with some friends.
A hr or two of games & laughter

Look what events, new places in or around your area …and try them.

ReplyOctober 25, 2011, 6:22 pm


Yeah girl. As it is we’re absolutely pressurised with our studies (we’re in Science stream!) and have no time for stupidity. Plus I don’t believe in relationships, I mean what’s with “being in a relationship” when you both know you like each other? And anyways if it’s not meant to last, it wil never, and if it is meant to last, it will however..
I’m not aksing or saying anything. Just going with the flow as you say. By the way, it’s kinda nice this way. :)
P.S.- Pray it lasts for a lifetime, people!! :|

ReplyOctober 25, 2011, 1:58 am


Study,Rest and exercise.:)
I know you will do well on your Exam.

Go with the flow
But he may think you do not fancy him at all
Since , he is clearly leaving hints …but ignoring his advances.
( he must be afraid of your rejection, since he is being so vague )

But continue to be friends
…..Love knows no time or distance.

ReplyOctober 25, 2011, 6:07 pm


Why would he think I don’t fancy him.. I guess even I’m picking his hints, that’s enough right? Or should I do more.
I message him daily (Good night/Good morning/randomly) and he mostly replies on the same day. :P. And I do talk to him (right now it’s holidays so we’re not meeting). But I think he does more to interact than I do. (Or maybe it’s my romantic nature feeling that way!)
But you got to agree I message him more than he does.. :P :D
What say?

ReplyOctober 27, 2011, 1:17 am



:-) you are doing fine, darling.

School first.

Love is a distraction.

ReplyOctober 28, 2011, 7:46 pm


But i think you’re right, Rachel.. :P
He thinks I’m not interested…!
But I just feel TOO shy going up to him, really.. I feel he doesn’t like that I always have to walk with my friend(s) who go up to him and then I join in. But.. I get embarrassed.. :/

October 31, 2011, 10:52 am



:) practice in the Mirror.
” Do you like me? because I have the feeling you would like to be ” more than friends ”
” Right now, I am focused on my studies . So, I just want to be friends for now…. only time will tell.”

But I think , you should let him know…. So he can sleep at night :)
He likes, that you’re strong, beautiful, independent, … a leader not a follower.
Don’t change.
Just get better.

Remember !!!
Being more than friends …. Can lose it all
An make it awkward & difficult for other friends.

ReplyNovember 1, 2011, 5:17 am


Hmm.. :)
You can’t be serious about that “So he can sleep at night” part. :P
I’m gonna get him comfortable first. He’s getting nervous around me I feel. (How stupid, noone has gotten shy around me, not even kids or my own parents! :D :P)
And I will let him know if all is well.. :D
Thanks again Rachel.. You’re such a sweetheart. :* :)

November 2, 2011, 3:06 pm


^____^ lol!

You’re Welcome, Yaar.


ReplyNovember 6, 2011, 11:53 am


(Yaar..? Indian!? :) :O :D )
Btw, his friend apparently went and asked my friend “Divya has a crush on him na?” she said “NO.” (That guy is our enemy’s bf :D )
He’s like “Nahi nahi, she does..!”. To that my friend said :Even if smthn’s there, u leave it na, don’t go & tell him!”. That dumb guy says “What will I say, my twin brother’s already told her!”
My friend asked “Ok idiots. Big deal! Btw what’s his feeling for her do u know?”
He said “He does not believe in all the teasings that go around and wouldn’t believe till she (means I) says something.. And he’s refused to tell us what he feels, he says it’s my personal life what’ve you guys got to do with what’s my feeling.”
Wow. So much and I really feel like killing his friend. What’s his damn problem man!?
Should I consider the option of going and asking him “Do u like me”..?
He’s still behaving in the same way, looks from distance, gets shy, doesn’t come up to me but keeps waiting till I do. :(
I think he doesn’t like me somehow. :/

November 7, 2011, 4:33 am


Hmmm…ask him later in person .
” Do you like me ? ” because I get the feeling that you want to be more than friends.

Which is a sticky situation
Because if you guys started datin
Then start a relationship….and break up affects everything and everyone

Either way,
Don’t. Change Anything

Or act brand new

Go with the flow .

ReplyOctober 23, 2011, 12:59 pm


Hey Rachel!! :)

Few days ago he sent me a forward indirectly stating he was single.. I replied to that and he was like “Forget all that, understand the emotions!”, I asked “Who emotions? :P”, and guess what he replied, “Me feelings! :P.”
Now what? I think he is kinda into me, because today during break I didn’t go to his class to talk to him and when I relaised that, I saw he was a bit upset and avoiding me sort of.. Then I went down, he came out of nowhere and stood out the window of the room we were in, looking here & there. My friends teased me, waved to him. Even I waved to him, and man, he smiled so *cuuuutely!*, and went totally red.. What say now? :|

ReplyOctober 23, 2011, 12:33 pm


Im a guy and i know, guys will only like you if you relax around them and treat them like a friend, rather than expect loads from them and for them to suddenly treat you like a princess. don’t expect them to text you first because they don’t think its clingy, but that you just want to talk to them. It may take the several years for them to find out that they really love you, and when it happens, they will ACTUALLY LOVE YOU AND WILL DIE INSIDE WITHOUT YOU. Just find the guy you like and act like a normal person

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 5:52 pm


You are so right.

MY husband loves me to death. Like,we were best friends and now we are martied with child.
He shows me fairytale love 24/7. With me 24/7 am his everything

But the guy I was in love with , used to do this texting and random hit ups now. Then disappears.

( explianed history up top 18 Sept )

I just want to know how to handle him !!
So conflicted.

Cut off ties with ex & his family who love me ?

We were lovers since childhood,high school,up until last 2009..

Now coincidental parents at. The same time
He even spoke of …” Repo ” when I get divorced
( totally laughed that off ,no entertain the thought)

And he flirted & said all this ” me. & you ” stuff.( husband knows everything )

Honestly, feel like we were ” meant to be ”
Everyone says it .
Guess, that’s why his crazy on/off Baby Mother is ultra psycho now.

>.< Ugh !

Just want some answers

ReplyOctober 23, 2011, 1:04 am


are you seriously asking if you should go back to your ex even though youre married? You don’t deserve your husband.

ReplyAugust 14, 2015, 9:12 pm


To the ladies here that are freaking out on the site owners for not responding you’re acting psycho and crazy. I’m sure these folks aren’t sitting here every minute of the day and night waiting to pick up every msg. Plus they have hundreds if not thousands of viewers. And we wonder why girls are called crazy…..

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 5:34 pm


Why do we all go crazy over waiting for a text back or wondering why it took so long to respond? I’m guilty of it too but never ever again. If he responds great and if he doesn’t then seek out a guy that will. Instead of questioning them why they waited so long or never responded at all just accept it for what it is. I truly believe if a guy is into me I won’t be left hanging REGULARLY. I emphasize regularly because of course there will be times when someone is busy or not near their phone. I really like the advice on this site. It’s so logical, sensible and rational. I wish I followed this advice in my last relationship. I could’ve saved myself a lot of heartache. Next time I’ll only give as much as I’m given and if he’s not committing then I won’t either and will continue my search for a guy that will show me all the love and affection I deserve :-)

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 5:27 pm


You are just there for pleasure .

He likes you .. but doesn’t TRUST. You.

He’s believes that it won’t go anywhere .
Relationship will die before it starts.

As he has mentioned. He doesn’t like certain things about you.

He can not see himself , loving you .

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:44 am


@ Eric Charles:

After weeks ,

you only replied to Mindy post ?!!… and no one else’s .

Granted , it is your choice to respond as you please but I think that’s so unfair.

Like , I’ve been visiting your webpage periodically… commenting on other girls problems ; while waiting for my own. ( 18th Sept or something.)

( sigh )

It’s alright ,though.
Guess, I’ll try to ask someone else.

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 6:39 am


Heeyyy. So there’s this fellow senior to me (he’s super cute!) who I like and my friends tease us together. He’s basically a very very good-natured boy and talks friendly with almost every girl I know. But last day he sent me a fwd indirectly stating people who’re single still send fwds. I took the clue and replied “not really, maybe they don’t have balance”. And he replied “forget all that.. understand the emotions!”, I was like who emotions, he replied”My feelings! :P.” He told my friend next morn “Oh i sent Div that msg becuz im single.”, she asked “okkkkk u like her or smthng..? :)” so he replied”No its just that every1 teases us together and we’re very good friends.” I really dont kno wat to make of this and every1 is equally confused. He met me today and behaved absolutely normally. WHAT’S UP!?

ReplyOctober 19, 2011, 1:13 pm


You’re really just his friend .

:) but you , want to be more than friends …..

Don’t do or say anything.
In time, everything will fall into place.

Patience. Cause when a Man wants you. He’ll let you know.

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 6:44 am


I have a kind of similar but not the same problem and I’m so confused I desperately need some advice.

It’s not that the guy has not texted back, but what is contained in the texts!!

A bit of background – you must know this to understand the context of the texts!!

I met this bloke through a work situation. We talked on the phone a couple of times and he was LOVELY, very interesting, clever, intelligent etc etc. I then went into the office to drop some stuff off and met him. He obvisouly fancied me as he kept dropping his papers and just everything, the whole body language and all that, ya know. We chatted a bit. I should add that I fancied him too and was a bit shy!

Anyway, we talked on the phone a couple more times. He phoned me when he didn’t really need to, he could (and probably should) have phoned my colleague for the information he needed but because I had passed a message on for her once he was kind of corresponding with me. He sent me a text telling me to tell this colleague something. I didn’t reply and the next morning, he called me just to say ‘did you get my text’ and I said ‘yes’ and that I’d told her and all that. He then checked (for the second time – he’s checked with my colleague also the day before) that I was still coming into the office to bring him the delivery to do with work. I was like ‘yeah!’ Then when I brought in the stuff and saw him for the second time – oh my god, the flirting was outrageous, he had a silly smile on his face (and so did I) as I approached him – you know that uncontrollable smile you get when you fancy someone? Kept making more conversation when I tried to leave. Etc etc, Don’t get me wrong, I was nice to him I wasn’t being off. Just he was tryin to get me to stay as long as possible (I reckon). The next day I texted him saying I wasn’t going to be able to collect the stuff he needed as I was very busy with my other job. I had a text back saying no worries, thanks for lettin him know. Then what are you up to tomorrow, fancy coming out in town? I replied saying yeah and he replied saying he’d call me tomorrow. He did call me and said to meet him wherever it was. When I arrived he was obvsiouly very pleased to see me (kicked my bum playfully to get my attention as I didn’t see him at first…) all smiles and everything.

So anyway, all I’m sayin is he was very much chasing me at the start of all this.

That night, we literally talked ALL NIGHT non stop. One of his friends came up to us and said ‘will you two just stop it!’ (jokingly….) Let me just add this was a drunken night out with him and his mates, it wasn’t a formal date. He kept looking for me when I dissapeared’ (to the toilet) and I had a text form him at one point in the night sayin ‘where you at?’. I got too drunk because I was a bit anxious, and hadn’t eaten all day. Stupid, I am. There was a lot of banter generally being a drunken night out, but I took a couple of things he said the wrong way…. at one point I had my head resting on the wall and I caught him chuckling at me. I said ‘what you laughing at?!’ and he said have you had too much to drink!! I was well offended and stormed off. Then he said again later on in the night ‘have you finished your drink already?’ and I said ‘stop judging me!’ I’m an idiot, I know. These things seemed to be forgotten quickly though as we carried on talking and stuff after. I get a bit leary when I drink. At the end of the night, I had my head in my hands (I was really drunk – I know I’m an idiot don’t judge me..) he came up to me saying what’s wrong, then he said ‘get up’ and he sat in my place and pulled me onto his lap! And he said have you had too much to drink. I said yeah. I said I wanted to go home and he said ‘you know what, I was just thinking the same thing. I’ve just gotta go say goodbye to some people and then we’ll go home.’ He lifted me up and put me down in a nearby chair. He literally swept me off my feet. He brought me a drink of water. We walked to the taxi. When we got back to his place, he made me a cuppa tea, he made a pizza, we talked LOADS. We hadn’t kissed or anything. Then we went to his room. We talked some more. Then we were laying down and I kinda layed on his chest. He said ‘I don’t really like just jumping into bed with people so, I’ll cuddle you tonight but that;’s it’. I was like ok. He didn’t elaborate so a minute or so later I said ‘so why don’t you like jumping into bed with people’ and he explained it was because you never know what your’e getting yourself into when you sleep with someone you don’t really know, he’d gotten himself into a situation before and also he didn’t like the horrible feeling after a one night stand. Then about 2 minutes later he kissed my head and then pulled me head up and snogged me! We were rolling around in bed for ages kissing. He rubbed my back, kissed my neck, he was so lovely. Then he kept saying ‘ok we’d better stop now, or we won’t stop’. I said ‘I think this is just something you say to girls!!’ It seemed like he was playing with me a bit…. Anyway he said ‘ok well, you carry on thinking that!’ we carried on kissing and stuff. We were all over eachother. We didn’t have sex though.

Next morning we were both extremely tired and hungover , having had very little sleep due to our shenanigans. The conversation was not as lively as it had been previously but to be honest I could barely muster up the power to speak and I just wasn’t thinking clearly or sharply at all! He made us breakfast and a cuppa tea. He’s so lovely!! All the guys I’ve ever been with are lazy gits. Anyway.

He was stressed because he got some phone call about work and his flat was a mess because of his housemate and he just got in that mode. I kinda took it personally and felt a bit uncomfortable. I guess I was tired and sensitive and I’m a bit of an insecure person and since things weren’t how they were last night I was second guessing the situation thinking maybe he wanted me to leave. He said ‘I hope you don’t mind if I just tidy up a bit’ I said ‘Well, I’d better go now actually’. He said ‘don’t you want me to show you where the train station is?’ I was like ‘actually, yeah’. So he said he was gonna come with me becausae he needed to go to town as well anyway and he’s tidy up later. So we went to the station to go into town, where my car was parked.. As we parted ways when we got to the town, I said ‘ are you going that way, because I’m going that way’ pointing the opposite direction. He was ‘I was just gonna make a couple of phone calls actually’ and started to. I waited because I got the impression he wanted me to wait there… he didn’t say bye. He said ‘I might be going the same way as you’ and phoned his friend who lived that way to see if he was in as he needed to pick something up from him., He wasn’t answering so he said to me’ ok well I’m going to the shop’ which was right next door. We hugged and parted ways.

So, everything up to this point seemed like he liked me. Well, that’s the impression I’m getting anyway!! NOW FOR THE TEXTS!!

I texted him about a couple of hours later saying : ‘Hey, I had a lush time with ya last night. Thanks x x

He texted back saying: ”No worries, was nice to meet you properly. Glad you had fun! X”

I texted back about an hour later (because I was testing him – that previous text did not hold enough info in it for me to ascertain if he wanted to see me again!!) – ‘‘I kinda miss you tho….it’s nice havin someone to cuddle” (was that too needy? I didn’t mean to be, but I thought maybe I might have been a little off with him during the day…also like I said I was testing him)

That was at about 4pm. It took him hours to respond. At 11pm had a text from him saying ‘‘It is nice to cuddle, I think all a little quick though x”

I texted back saying ‘‘Ok, well, no pressure or anything. Sorry if it came accross like that. Goodnight x”

He replied three minutes later saying ‘‘No worries, ur a lovely lass, just a case of once burned is all. I had a good night n all. See you soon x”

I texted back saying ‘Ok, I understand :)”

That was on Sunday, and I haven’t heard from him since (it’s Wednesday now) I don’t expect he will contact me until the weekend anyway if he does at all. He works very hard in the week and was telling me sometimes he doesn’t finish until 8-9pm and it’s a really stressful job. So it’s not the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet but more that I am worried because it seems like maybe he was fobbing me off in his texts.. I don’t know if these texts mean he doesn’t really want to see me again. I mean, surely, if you like someone you like them, you’re not thinking about how fast it’s going?! And what is he a bloody snail – a little quick?! All we did was talk and kiss, after 2 weeks of talking on the phone and meeting twice previously…. It’s not exactly a one night stand.

I’m not going to text or call him first because I’ve already initiated contact and gotten in return what I see as rejection or at least he hasn’t matched my own interest .

Someone please tell me – does this guy wanna see me again?!!?

ReplyOctober 19, 2011, 1:00 pm


Hmmmm maybe he’s was interested until you got pissy drunk.
An it was in front of his friends .

( sigh )

he figured ;you are just tease …..and you responded a little too late .


He wasn’t down for the Chase .

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 6:54 am


Its Not About text etc …I’m Very Confused right now ;/ … last month my boyfriend and i broke up he told me “im not good for a relasionship and i dont want it” (i read that when he say that to you becouse thye dont want a relasionship with you,and i am scared) i was shocked but he keeps talking to me sending msgs asking me about how am i doing and he keeps saying i love you i still love you(there was like something is pushing him away from me), and i never understood why he left me…but something in my mind came and it was something bothering him i taught…we were fighting a lot because of his hobby(football) and i saw him changing a lot when we were talking about marrige, time passed and i could’t live with out him and a told him if there was something bothering him…we meet and he Said i left you becouse i dont want to get married and i didnt want you to love me more and get hurt (he cryed),i dont feel like to get merried and i said who told you we are getting merried now and ect ect …he made it clear that he was confused becouse of the marriage thing and becouse of his hobby .i see he love his hobby more than he love me. he prefair to go play football instead of stay near me, he changed a lot after we arranged things and i dont like the way he is …and that is bothering me a lot.. .i’m feeling very sad all the time because i am afrid that he will tell me to stop from the relasionship and i dont want that ..i dont now what to do, pls help i wish i have someone to tell me what is the best to do

ReplyOctober 17, 2011, 4:23 pm


I think, … should stop talking about marriage.

An stop , comparing his love for Football
To his love for you

Be satisfied with the qauliy time he spends with you .
Why are you so clingy ?

Like, let him breath !
he has a life .

Football is his stress relieving, bonding time, freedom to be himself.

So, let him be an stop being greedy .

More pressure you apply. Suffocating him , with your constant presence .
He will leave you ..For good.

Give him his space. Let him have Football and be satisfied with all the time hr spends with you ….and all he does for you .

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:05 am


Eric Charles,
I kinda feel stupid for being on here, I feel like one of those needy girls, but here it goes.
Ok, I went to school with this guy, and I always thought that he was cute in school but rarely talked to him. While I was hanging with my 2 one of friends, I ended up meeting him, I talked to him a little bit, but other than that nothing else. About 2 weeks after that, he started randomly texted me (I never gave him my number or anything). Now we have been talking for a couple weeks, but I usually have to start the conversation, and sometimes he will just stop texting me in the middle of a conversation. Or I will text him and he will never answer that text back. Why does he do that?

ReplyOctober 16, 2011, 11:34 pm


He texts you when he’s bored.
Totally using you.

Like, you didn ‘t snap when texted you ….and you didn’t give him yoyr number?
That’s rude &creepy.

Plus, he knows you like him now.

When a guy or person in general….
Likes, and wants to spend time with you.
They do. No confusion.

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:15 am


hey eric,
Ive been talking to this guy for over a month via text we were coworkers before but have now just been texting eachother after work ended. we used to text everyday and bascially he said it first that he trusts me and how thats a first for him and that he likes me im someone he can talk to, i also told himm that i like him and that ots easy talking to one another. but last week he just abruptly stopped replying i thought because of thanksgiving he was busy but we had plans and he totally blew me off. so althugh at that time he still didnt respond back to me i read his bbm status which said dinner w family, i let it go. but as the days went on i stil didnt get a text so i just texted about 1 week after my last text and said hey, did i say something to piss you off? and his response the next day was basically hey im not mad at you ive just been busy at work coming late and just sleeping and work, why would u think that anyways? and i replied bc you didnt replying back to me. no response from him after that. sooo here he is asking me why i would think that :S when clearly i noe hes ignoring me. we talked about basically everything and i thnk geniunly liked talking to eachother with obviously a physical attraction to one another, but maybe because he hasnt been in a relationship in a while im not sure if he just doesnt wanna get into it or if he just doesnt like me. i dont think im needy but i have no idea why he’s being distant.
why would he just start ignoring me all of a sudden?

ReplyOctober 16, 2011, 6:34 pm


Co Workers are off limits!!!

Like, you keep your job & social life seperate .

Of course , he’s ignoring you .
Take the hint .
Let it go! Save your job & dignity .

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:24 am


Hey Eric, what have I done wrong?? Why won’t you talk to me?? I am so confused!!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 6:06 pm


Hey Eric, just wanted to make sure my comments were going through since I haven’t heard back from you yet…

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 5:29 pm



ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 5:40 am

Eric Charles

Oh I’m sorry.
I didn’t realize that I’m now the “Domino’s Pizza” of dating inquiry responses. ;)
I read your question… and… well…
What exactly were you trying to ask, if you could boil it down to a single sentence?

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 6:19 pm


lol. Why are all these guys texting me “hey” then not saying anything after I respond?

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 6:34 pm

Eric Charles

Possibly answers:
– Booty call.
– They are ADD.
– Some other girl responded back faster than you.
Regardless, you’ll do best to get to a mental place where you don’t care whether they do weird stuff like this or not… When you start living your life as the desirable prize and not as an “emotional detective”, dating in general gets a lot easier.
Something to think about…

ReplyNovember 7, 2011, 11:00 am


P.s. Once again spelling is due to using a phone. Thinking I may have to resort to getting the laptop out to avoid risk of looking stupid!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 5:27 am


Here’s the thing… We all seem to think there is a mold that men are magically made in and that they are all the same. Sadly, it’s not true.

Some men like to text and some don’t. My exboyfriend used to text me ever morning to say good morning and yet he could never tell me he loved me. My new boyfriend hates to text which I put down to nit being in to me, but yet whenever we’re together he us all over me and constantly tells me he loves me and talks about our future.

You should judge your relationship on the quality time you spend together and nit how ling he takes to text back.

Eros is right… The more you moan or nag the less he will want to speak to you, especially if he us stressed. Accept that he may be busy or just not wanting to text at the moment. Make yourself busy, get a hobby.

If in doubt don’t text back fir a while. If he loves you I guarantee he will continue texting until he gets a response. I once turned my phone to silent and had an early night as I was getting fed up of not getting a response to my text (note u didn’t nag). When I got up in the morning I had 5 text messages and 9 missed calls. He had even called my house mates to see if I was ‘ok’. The point is I didn’t go on at him. He didn’t know where I was or what I was doing and it drove him crazy.

It’s important to keep your independence in a relationship so relax and make yourself busy. The more unavailable you are the more he will want to talk to you. Plus… You will enjoy your own time too!

It is important to note he is obviously going through a tough time at the moment so you should still try to be supportive, but who says you can’t do that without having some girl time too! Go out and let your hair down! Stop waiting by the phone and I guarantee you will have him asking ‘why hasn’t she text back? What is she up to?’

Good luck!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 5:24 am


Here’s the thing… We all seem to think there is a mold that men are magically made in and that they are all the same. Sadly, it’s not true.

Some men like to text and some don’t. My exboyfriend used to text me ever morning to say good morning and yet he could never tell me he loved me. My new boyfriend hates to text which I put down to nit being in to me, but yet whenever we’re together he us all over me and constantly tells me he loves me and talks about our future.

You should judge your relationship on the quality time you spend together and nit how ling he takes to text back.

Eros is right… The more you moan or nag the less he will want to speak to you, especially if he us stressed. Accept that he may be busy or just not wanting to text at the moment. Make yourself busy, get a hobby.

If in doubt don’t text back fir a while. If he loves you I guarantee he will continue texting until he gets a response. I once turned my phone to silent and had an early night as I was getting fed up of not getting a response to my text (note u didn’t nag). When I got up in the morning I had 5 text messages and 9 missed calls. He had even called my house mates to see if I was ‘ok’. The point is I didn’t go on at him. He didn’t know where I was or what I was doing and it drove him crazy.

It’s important to keep your independence in a relationship so relax and make yourself busy. The more unavailable you are the more he will want to talk to you. Plus… You will enjoy your own time too!

It is important to note he is obviously going through a tough time at the moment so you should still try to be supportive, but who says you can’t do that without having some girl time too! Go out and let your hair down! Stop waiting by the phone and I guarantee you will have him asking ‘who hasn’t she text back? What is she up to?’

Good luck!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 5:24 am


Oops I meant I’ve only been needy with guy#3/said something to guy #3……………. and guy #2 is the one I sacrificed.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:03 am


Eric Charles,

I appreciate your advice, it’s fantastic. I just subscribed so I can learn more from you. I’m really hoping you can answer my question. Here it is in a nutshell: Why do guys text me to say hi, then don’t write anything after that?

Tonight 3 guys texted me & never wrote back. Here is what the texts looked like:

Guy 1 (5:35pm): Hey there
Me (5:46pm): Hey, what’s up?

Guy 2 (8:03pm): Hey
Me (8:12pm): Hey

Guy 3 (8:41pm): Hey.
Me (8:46pm): Hey, how was work?

If it matters, I’ve probably only been needy with guy #2- but I think he likes it because he strikes me as the type who loves needy girls because they’re easier to manipulate and abuse lol. Hot. Jk. Anyways I’m not sleeping with any of them, I’ve never even kissed any of them.

I’ve only ever said something to Guy 2- I told him a week ago to quit texting me if he didn’t have anything to say. Also, they all think I’m a really nice girl and have no idea that they are part of a giant collection of men I have.

So tonight after it happened 3 times in a row, I was SO CURIOUS to find out why they are doing this that I decided to ask one. Now I know a thing or two about men, and I knew that if I did this it would significantly lower my chances with a guy or lose him altogether. So… I figured I can sacrifice Guy #2 because I don’t like him that much.

So, I texted Guy #2, told him I wasn’t mad or anything but was really curious why guys say hi then don’t write anything after that, and he just said “I am at the bar and have really bad reception. Sorry babe.”. So obviously he thinks I’m upset about it and is giving me a lame excuse. Sucks!

So can you please tell me the truth? I understand that it could be as simple as them not feeling like talking after they contact me. But if that’s the case- why do they text me in the first place?! Are they trying to keep tabs on me? Or maybe test me? If so am I passing?


ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 1:53 am


Why do men text non stop for weeks everyday, then vanish for 5 with not a word. I know they do things in their way but its very inconsistent.??? Ps met this dude once he got my number he just texts he never calls ???? Weird???

ReplyOctober 14, 2011, 7:35 pm


I don’t know about the first part, why they text non stop for weeks everyday, then vanish for 5 days without a word. Probably Eric could answer that better than me. But… when I do that with guys it’s just because I go back and forth with lots of guys. So, sometimes I focus on someone else for a little bit. But then again, I’m a chick- and most guys can only handle one love interest at a time. Love interest. Not booty call.

As far as the why he never calls? Because he doesn’t have to, you text him back every time. Quit texting him and he’ll be forced to pick up the phone.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 4:35 am


reading other ladies’ comments has made me feel better about my sitch. went on a couple dates with a guy and it went really well. hasn’t called or texted. i don’t know how to play these games. if i like someone, i tell him. if i don’t, i tell him. on my friends’ advice i didn’t text this guy, thinking if he wanted to see me, talk, whatever, he’d get in touch with me. but he hasn’t. it’s been almost a week. no one is that busy.

i’m just so sick of all the game playing. all these rules. don’t text too soon, don’t sound needy, don’t obsess, blah blah blah. so what am i supposed to do if i like the guy? sit around and wait? NO!

if my infinite awesomeness doesn’t compel him to text me, then he is just not worth my time or energy. or yours ladies. someone better will ALWAYS come along. and he’ll be the best flirt texter ever. until then, MOVE ON…. that’s what i’m doing. and you’ve all helped me. thanks again.

ReplyOctober 12, 2011, 4:44 pm


i started talking to this kid back in august, we were very flirty.. he would text me in the mornings he would call me at night… the whole 9…. but then sometimes he would stop answering mid-text and say “you never texted me” or “i never got it” and i really did answer because why would i not? i love talking to him! hes so sweet and reminds me of someone i cant have, my 11 year crush. but now hes getting lazy he dosent text me all day every day anymore and im sort of getting the feeling he’s not interested. but why was he interested before i didn’t change.. and it suck because i really grew feeling for him and i like him a lot!! what do i do? should i stop trying to get his attention and talk to him?

ReplyOctober 9, 2011, 12:21 pm


Yep. Leave him alone.

Only people you need in your life. Is those who want you ?n theirs.

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:36 am


So 6 years ago, I had a far away crush on this guy ( we didn’t know each other, just saw each other in the hall ) for about 2 years before he graduated. Right before he graduated, he randomly friended me (we have one mutual friend) on facebook and I saw him once after that. He said hi to me and that was it. 4 years later, our mutual friend and I got close and he randomly popped back in the picture. We’ve been randomly messaging (more like me messaging on FB chat :/) for a couple of months. I would invite him to events and he would say “oo yea let me know!”, and he would not followup when I text him the day of. So a few months pass, I go on vacation with some friends in which he was supposed to come but plans fell through for him. We texted while I was on the trip and another one of my friends stole my phone and texted him “Hey you should hang out with my friend” (he knew it was her and not me). After I came back from the vaca, we messaged on fb, and he asked me “how many guys did you make out with?” I said none im a good girl. Things picked up from there. He came out to a BBQ where he only knew our mutual friend. Everyone else there were my friends and he made an effort to make friends with all of them! Unfortunately i have a friend who gets pretty friendly when hes drunk, he kept cockblocking (squeezed into a spot between me and eric, put his arm around me shoulder and tell me things to boost my ego). After that things went downhill, he never texted. When I text, we’ll have short conversations, or it’d be friendly but not flirty.

Couple months later, we’re picking back up, but it seems I always have to text him. He never really initiates. But once we start texting, we’ll text for the whole day. We probably text about once a week. Its like a really flirty type (but my friend said we’re on the border of friend flirting? i have no idea)…And weirdest thing is that he always makes me write on his FB wall. Why is that?! I pretty much spammed his wall!

Also, i’m at school and he’s back where i’m from. I move back home in about a month or so. My friends tell me he probably doesn’t want to get too caught up in anything before we hang out (we’ve hung out twice but both times with friends). They’re telling me to just wait until I come home. We made plans to do all these things when I get back (well I pretty much initiated them or came up with the idea).

Our mutual friend recently said to him “you guys are good together”, his response was “are you trying to set me up?” she said “no i dont set ppl up, i’m just planting a seed”. According to her, he didn’t really say much other than the fact that he doesn’t really know me.

What do you guys think is going through his head?? why doesn’t he text me first? Why does he make me write on his fb wall? HELP!

ReplyOctober 8, 2011, 1:16 pm


He’s playing you for a fool.

Delete hum out your life and online .

ReplyOctober 22, 2011, 7:31 am


okay.. so what happens when you are “talking” to a guy and he just changes his ways and turns out to be a huge douche bag? and then another comes along and your stuck between the two you know the one you want but you dont know exactly how to tell this other guy.. help!

ReplyOctober 7, 2011, 7:18 pm

Katrina (:

Hey Eric, I have a question for ya. Why the hell does this bug us so much? haha

ReplyOctober 7, 2011, 12:13 am


This guy and I texted a lot for two weeks before school started, he gave me cute nicknames, but now he says he is really busy with school and I’m just not sure if that’s true or not. During those two weeks he would always text me, but now I have to text him.

ReplyOctober 6, 2011, 11:46 pm


He doesn’t want you.
Obviously , he’s into something or someone else.
The minute you cut off all contact… he’ll be chasing you.
Now, that he knows you want him and he can have his way with you.
Since, you’re not going to say ” NO” or ” Ignore ” him.
Most likely, he’ll just treat you or be with you when he wants sex or bored.

Those” sweet words ” and ” cute names” was just bait.
Now, you have bitten.
An’ he can reel you up or put you back…as he wish.
Plus, ask you to do or go anywhere, as he please . Because you really like him.

I HAVE LEARNED .. That when a man wants you, he’ll be with you.
He’ll call you , hang out with and please you.
Give you all his time .. and meet his friends and family .

Trust me. I’ve been where you are.
and that ish sucks. Worst feeling in the world .
To be ignored and look desperate , when you want someone or something but they don’t want you/you can’t have it.

Then feel dumb/stupid when you realize too late.

ReplyOctober 7, 2011, 10:20 am


I am visiting friends this weekend. I contacted 8 people 2 days ago to arrange to see them. One of these for romantic reasons, the rest are friends. The 7 that replied equate to 2 guys and 5 girls. The other guy, who I thought liked me, hasn’t responded to my suggestion apart from to ask when we could do something- I told him when I’d be free and then nada. I haven’t heard from him since. This is very odd- you can’t explain it away by ‘busy’ because who doesn’t have the time to write a quick ‘yes’ or ‘no’ text or suggest an alternative? It also can’t be explained by him not thinking I need replying to- surely when you’re trying to arrange something together then you communicate until it’s arranged? Can anyone explain this- I’m pretty sure if I texted him (which I haven’t since his lack of response) he’d act like I was crazy and he was GOING to get back to me but I obviously expect him to do it 10 seconds after he gets my text. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to hear from someone over the course of 2 days. But hey ho.

ReplyOctober 6, 2011, 8:55 am


He doesn’t care. I can’t explain “exactly” why guys act the way they do because all are different but guys do think alot on some terms. The guy who you thought like thinks you’re cute but not enough to really start a serious relationship with you. He probably wanted to sex or didn’t have anything els emuch to do. I know that sounds offensive but that’s the truthful answer I can give you. Just move he’s a lost cause.

ReplyOctober 6, 2011, 7:11 pm


My boyfriend of 2 years and I discussed last week that we need to call eachother more often instead of text and make more concrete plans instead of winging it all the time. My boyfriend was the one who proactively brought this up and obviously thought it was a great idea:) All of last week he’d call me after he got out of work instead of text and we’d have like a 5-10 min conversation about our day and then plan for the next time we could see eachother.

Last Friday we went out for dinner and he was being a bit disrespectful to me..or atleast I thought he was. He was just sorta being rude because he knew it pisses me off & then on the way home when I was driving because I was so tired I kind of was not in the zone and out of it. He was making fun of the way I was driving and it was annoying me. I decided not to stay at his house and just wanted to go home. I didn’t really explain why I made that decision..I think he was pissed that I didn’t want to hang out after dinner.

The next day instead of calling he went back to texting me…now I am mad because I felt so relaxed that I didn’t have to worry about him texting before.

Why do you think he did that? Did he loose feelings for me and stopped wanting to make the effort? I don’t want to keep up this calling expectation or rule if he’s not going to…

ReplyOctober 3, 2011, 12:32 pm


Well don’t you know your boyfriend by now? What it looks like to me is that he’s a jerk some what. He seems not to be too sensitive when it comes to making jokes. He probably didn’t think it was really offending or if he did then he was just being a jerk. And he probably reverted back to text because he didn’t feel like talking or he didn’t think about it when he text you. Sometimes call him but if he doesn’t call you first after a while then dont CALL him unless it’s emergency. Guys don’t take alot of things seriously -_-

ReplyOctober 6, 2011, 7:04 pm


I have a really simple solution for you. But depending on your self control it might be hard. Quit responding to his texts! If you want him to call you, then don’t text him back. It shouldn’t take that long before he calls you to see what’s up. Don’t whine or pick a fight. Just be like “I don’t like texting” anyways, he sounds really lame. You should upgrade before you waste another 2 years.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:10 am

o snap

Hey! so i have a lil problem here. some background for me is that im single, the guy’s single. we are both 18 too. and we live within 10 minute drive from each other but go to different schools. he is friends wit people that i don’t get along with.

so i had a funeral for a friend yesterday at 11 am and a couple of days before that, this guy facebook im’s me sayin” stay strong” and the convo started from that, to hey your cute, to lets chill. he also was close wit the guy who died too. anyways, we exchanged numbers and then he gets all “your so beautfil! perfect! etc etc etc” like this guy gets all sweet and charming.

we ended up seeing each other for 15 mins only due to something coming up on his part. and then yesterday morning, we made plans to see each other before the funeral and we chiled in his room on his bed. we cuddled, laughed, talked and watch tv. but then he tickles me and it got the point it was flirty tickling and i turned around to face him and he does teh sweetest kiss i hav ever had. i let him and kiss him back for a couple mins and i ask wat that was for and he said”im not allowed to?” and i jokingly said “idk” and he laughed and continued.

he tried to go under my shirt but i stopped him and he respected it. he goes and then cuddles with me face to face and really close body to body and we were touching nose to nose and lil pecks from there and smiled and hes a true softie.

then we saw the time, got ready for the funeral, and he drove off to pick up his friends and i left to go straight to the church. he showed up later on and i saw him and we made a one second eye contact becasue i was on the other side of the church and he was with the boys. i texted him after the funeral saying “hey” and i did not get a response. so this morning, i texted him saying “hey i think i left somehting in your house but im not sure” no response.

I understand the fact that if a girl texts him too much, then it will be seen as needy and if he doesnt respond within 5 days, he doesnt wanna talk to that girl no more. so i just want to no why he hasnt responded when i no he has his phone on him 247. is it because we kissed and we crossed that boundary? but he did start it because he took his hand and held my chin and came to me. so im confused. should i wait for him to text me or just give up hope?

ReplySeptember 29, 2011, 9:46 am


@o’snap: He wants sex . Leave him alone.
He friends with people you don’t like. An gossiping about you.

He’s bad company.
If you are a virgin.

Go to college . Study. Work .
Have good clean fun with friends & date ( no kiss/sex)

ReplyOctober 3, 2011, 7:24 am


It’s only been one day! Patience! Also, quit texting him. And guys all know that “I think I left something at your house” trick, so don’t try it again. He’s only 18, he’s probably trying to follow the 2 day rule or something. I guarantee he’ll call you or get back to you soon, because 18 year old boys are horny- and when they get a girl who will make out with them they aren’t going to just forget about her. Even if he doesn’t like you romantically, he’s going to make you his new conquest. Have fun! Wear a condom.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:17 am

o snap

Well i stopped textin him and everything and he hasn’t hit me up wat-so-ever. so i feel like he doesnt wanna see me again. cuz i am cute enough and i do have a nice body because im a model in new york and milan. but i just feel like he was just using me to see how far he’d get wit me. idk .. thanks tho for ur advice. im bad at figuring out guys

ReplyNovember 1, 2011, 9:40 pm


:-/ so sorry Hun.
Men are very selfish!!!

Just Focus on your career

Think it’s best you date another Model though…. From a different Agency.

Good Luck.

ReplyNovember 6, 2011, 11:48 am

lady mo

hey, my question is this, so there is a guy im interested in, and this was a subtle way of lettin him know that i think went wrong. there was an event going on so i asked him was he coming and he said sure. so when i got home that evening and it closer to the time to get there i text him and asked, “are you coming to party for real”, he text back and said that he wasnt going to make it because he had been called to wk, he wanted to know why i asked, I text back i just wanted to know, he texted a period back to me , than right after that he texted yea I at wk. i felt like he was upset with me, oh by the way i think that we are both interested in each other but i do already have someone and he knows.

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:26 pm


@lady mo: just ask him. Guys a pretty straight forward.
Like, go go carting, gun range, sushi place or something fun. Then ask him at the end.

ReplySeptember 29, 2011, 2:32 am


If he knows you have a boyfriend, then he probably just thinks you’re playing games. And lets be honest, you are. But all judgement aside, it sounded to me like he was trying to figure out whether or not you were coming on to him. If I were him I’d be totally uncomfortable flirting with you because you have a boyfriend- but if THAT didn’t bother me, I’d still be uncomfortable flirting with you unless I knew you were really into me. Make sense?

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:26 am


Hei,could someone help me out,i started having this affair with this guy,he asked me out,and we kissed so insanely passinately at school,but 2 days after he told me that one of his friends had told him that I’m a player,he simply won’t trust me cause all his friends have told him bad about me…I’m really really sad cause I love him for real,I want him to trust me…..Could someone please help me out?

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 8:13 am


@Keira: Tell him face to face how you feel and what you want. Apologize for not bring honest with him and that you now know having an affair. Is wrong.

He doesn’t trust you and probably is disappointed.
Probably , will never trust you as much, if not at all.

I wouldn’t suggest starting a relationship with him because he may do the same.
Or just use you for sex, since he sense your desperation .

Guys forget but they never forgive.

But apologize and let the chips fall where they may.

ReplySeptember 29, 2011, 2:41 am


Rachel,I know guys don’t forgive but the thing is I DIDNT cheat on him,his friends have passed on some rumour about me :( and he believes them

ReplySeptember 29, 2011, 1:32 pm


Talk to him and if he doesn’t believe you . It’s his loss . But neware, he might use you.

ReplyOctober 2, 2011, 7:34 pm


Thnq Rachel but things just changed,he texted me last night,do u guys think that maybe he still likes me?

October 8, 2011, 3:02 pm


Guys are so territorial. You hear about “the other woman” but you never hear about “the other man”. Yeah, there are PLENTY of guys out there that would screw another man’s woman, but how many guys have you heard of that were romantically involved with a woman who was already taken? Not many. At least none I’d want to date. If a guy truly likes you, the idea of you going home to another man every night is going to enrage him and drive him nuts.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:34 am


If he spends all the time with you. People know your his girlfriend. You met his parents & friends. He likes , you .

If things ate shady & he’s texting you on and off.
Disappearing from time to time.
Leave him alone .

ReplyOctober 24, 2011, 10:57 am


Okay , so my boyfriend won’t text me back at all.I confronted him about it and he said he hasn’t been in the mood to talk lately.So I thought okay , no big deal , but he’s still doing it?I’am being to clingy?Does he wanna break up.Please , Help Me ! D:

ReplySeptember 25, 2011, 12:58 pm


i am no relationship expert, but i believe you should not text him either until he’s ready to “talk”.

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:28 am


Yes, he is definitely thinking about breaking up with you. Don’t talk to him. Don’t talk to him to tell him you are going to not talk to him as much. Don’t apologize. Leave him alone! In the mean time, you need to go get a life outside of him. He could just be breaking up with you in a really passive way by hoping that you will just go away and “the problem” (you) will fix itself. Let him be, and go do something fun. Go get your hair did, and get a new outfit and go dancing with some girlfriends.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:38 am


my boyfriend is confusing he told my best friend that he wasnt cheatin on my like about a week ago but den on wensday his friend told me tht my boyfriend is cheatin on me n now my boyfriend wont talk to me i feel scared and heartbroken i dont kno wat to do :.(

ReplySeptember 24, 2011, 2:16 pm


Don’t over reacte over the situation. Guys do alot of things that we think are stupid. Don’t assume you don’t know what really is going on all you know is that that’s what YOUR friend said. It may not be true unless you see it with your own eyes don’t flip just ask him again and if he won’t talk to him consider options of break up or seeing other people if you don’t trust him. A relationship that’s based off of lies never last.

ReplyOctober 6, 2011, 7:15 pm


Run for the hills girl! That is a classic cheater move!!! As soon as they get caught- or close to getting caught, they act SUPER PISSED at you! And eventually you are going to them and apologizing for not being trusting. lol. Think about it- why would HIS FRIEND jeopardize (or probably) completely ruin his friendship. For nothing? Really? You’ve been given a gift! This poor man has sacrificed his friendship with your boyfriend to tell you that you are being cheated on! Don’t spit in his face by not believing him. RUN GIRL, RUN!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:42 am


ive liked this guy for a a long time. i talk to him on facebook all the time ,sometimes we have really meaning full convsationns, and really weird ones. but we can never talk face to face. hes really nice. :) i want to be more then friends, i cancatch the bus with him. hes went to my school but i left school.i dont know if he likes me coz sometime it doeos and sometimes it doesn’t????please help.

ReplySeptember 24, 2011, 9:59 am


If you really think he’s worth it- ask him out. Not a “let’s hang out sometime” but a “Would you like to go out to dinner on Friday, your treat?” haha jk. But seriously, make sure he pays. It could be he’s just really shy. Good luck!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:45 am


What do you do when you ask out a guy and he dosent reply???

ReplySeptember 24, 2011, 9:49 am


Find a new one, and have him do the asking out this time around! Don’t worry, I’ve been rejected so much, it’s no big deal! Rejection is just part of the fun of dating!

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 2:49 am


Your guy seems just as scared as you are.
What was his last relationship like…?!
Did his parents marriage fail?!
Did he come from a dysfunctional home/family ?!
Does he has Trust Issues?

Simply, say how tell him how you feel
Reassure him that you won’t hurt him
And your are ready
Have you not proved to him your love & safety ?!
There’s no need to doubt a relationship that has yet to start
If you both want it. It will work.

….waiting for my answer to my problem :(

ReplySeptember 23, 2011, 9:22 pm


Hi, Eric or anyone else that will read this.

So, my little problem happens to be this guy that i have been seeing for almost a month now. We have been having fun but we don’t go out on dates, mostly because our schedules are conflicting but we do have “home dates” where we have and don’t have sex. We get along very well and we talk a lot. If anything we are dating since its exclusive and we are pretty much just focused on us, but i worry that we may never go on a date. And not only that i find myself questioning his refusal to label us because i want to know then, if someone else who is offering long-term, labeled and possible love in the future relationship will i be able to get out without him being jealous? Is there anyway if i decide to go out with someone who will offer the aforementioned things, since he refers us as “friends that we are”, can we still be friends with me going out with someone else? Can i ask him if “we are just friends”, then if i find a better candidate am i able to go out with him. This guy is very charming and easy to fall in love with but i don’t want to fall for someone who might break my heart in the long run. For now i could care less if we are “friends” but everytime we see each other its like an emotional well opens up and we just free fall into it. I have also noticed him becoming more open with me and he’s not holding back as before but again, i don’t want my heart broken so how do i protect myself from falling in love with him, because he doesn’t believe in long term relationships and he says he will never get married.

ReplySeptember 23, 2011, 5:54 pm


Guys say what they mean. Flat out, he does not want to be your boyfriend. He wants to be friends with benefits. Can you go out on dates with other guys without making him jealous? Probably not. But who cares, that’s his own fault. You want to be his girlfriend, he doesn’t want you as his girlfriend. And the more you sleep with him the more attached you are going to get, and yes, you will get your heart broken. Get out now while you’re still thinking logically. If you don’t, you’ll regret it later. Either way, my suggestion is that you stop hanging out with him. When he eventually wants to know why you never want to hang out, just tell him “I really like you a lot but I want to be in a committed relationship so I need to start focusing my attention elsewhere” or something to that effect. It could be that you just need to withdraw in order to draw him out. But don’t count on it.

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 4:08 am


A common mistake women make is drink too much. I have many guy frineds that say that a drunk women on a date is the worst impression one can make. One should know their limits and it is okay to have a good time but once you cross a line it can actually ruin a good thing. I think it is a lesson sometimes we learn the hard way.

ReplySeptember 23, 2011, 12:27 pm


I was seeing a guy who I hardly know. We were mutually attracted to each other and wanted to take things slow. But the day after our first date, I blurted out that i loved him as i was drunk. He said that we hardly know each other and how can that make me fall in love with him. but I was not listening. The next day, i apologized for what i said and told him i would like to take things slow and he replied that its upto my wish.
But after that, he started avoiding me and before he left to Paris (I’m living in India), he said that he hopes that i will forget him soon. But i want to win him back. Please help me.
Thank you,

ReplySeptember 23, 2011, 12:17 pm


I was seeing a guy who i hardly know. We were mutually attracted to each other and wanted to take things slow. But the day after our first date, I blurted out that i loved him as i was drunk. He said that we hardly know each other and how can that make me fall in love with him. but I was not listening. The next day, i apologized for what i said and told him i would like to take things slow and he replied that its upto my wish.
But after that, he started avoiding me and before he left to Paris(I’m living in India), he said that he hopes that i will forget him soon. But i want to win him back. Please help me.
Thank you,

ReplySeptember 23, 2011, 12:14 pm


I really don’t think you’re going to be able to win this one back. There’s no “winning him back” because you never had him to begin with. You two don’t have any history together, so any trying to win him back will just make you look like a stalker. I’d say let this birdy fly away. That’s really funny that you told him that you loved him after your first date lol. Don’t shame spiral over it, I’ve done so much worse. As my grandpa says, “The bus comes along every ten minutes.”- there will be many, many more guys.

P.S. Like BOTH of you pointed out- you don’t even know him- so there’s probably something else going on with you (maybe you are lonely, or maybe you think he’s the best you can do, etc.)

ReplyOctober 15, 2011, 4:24 am


Long Distance Relationship.
1. We were together for 3 weeks before finally I went back to my city.
2. HOT n COLD. One day he said he missed me really bad, and want us to meet. But, the next day he didn’t text me back once I told him that I could visit him.
3. He’s busy at work and I know it.
So, why do I keep on reading somewhere that a guy isn’t just into me when he didn’t even bother to text me back. I mean, he got time to still post video on facebook, or he could’ve text me before going to bed or whatever, right?. Is a text like “Hi, how are you?” so hard to respond?

ReplySeptember 22, 2011, 2:49 am


@Abby: cut all contact off with him! Don’t say nothing. NO CONTACT.
He will never leave her.
Those sweet words and everything he said are lies!!!
He will never leave her for you .
Sex is all he wants.

Trust me. I know.
Men can be so selfish.

ReplySeptember 21, 2011, 10:39 pm


Also he was the one being foward with his moves at the start. He wanted this more then I at first. Lastnight he text and said “Goodnight babe, sleep well and talk tomorrow”. That was the last text I got. I am so lost, I have no one else to talk to about this and I just want to know where I stand. He told me that he’s falling for me and that Im what he wants in a lady yet I get the silent treatment? What should I do, please help me!

ReplySeptember 19, 2011, 10:38 pm


Teina, it sounds like what I went through not too long ago so I can definitely relate. I’m still not sure why a guy would compliment a girl and claims to really like her and then just disappear out of the blue. How rude! It seems as though guys who pull crap like that is only out to get a piece of ass. They SEEM NICE, but are really jerks who are ugly on the inside. Then when you try to confront them and ask why they are being mean, they make excuses to make you think its your fault. It isn’t your fault girl. Guys are always telling us girls that we are overreacting when it comes to relationships. Clearly we are not overreacting. Guys expect women to keep talking to them and to not be mad because they obviously don’t think ignoring women is rude. Famous asshole line: “jeez, calm down, I’ve been really busy and I haven’t had a chance to tell you I’m busy.” Then its like “oh really??! If you were all that busy then you wouldn’t be all up on facebook every two hours posting statuses. You can find the time to be on facebook, but you can’t take two minutes out of your day to at least hi to me??” I know facebook is a silly thing to get mad about, cuz its JUST FACEBOOK, but my point is that purposely ignoring someone and lying is really immature. Its like “don’t tell me you really like me and don’t beg me to hang out with and then suddenly become MIA

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:57 am


I have started seeing this guy who I am head over heels for. He has expressed to me that he feels the same. He will stay with me at night time, make me feel beautiful by complimenting me and picturing a future with me the once a week he will blatently ignore me for the whole day. I may drop him one or two texts but he won’t reply. He is able to reply as he has a house full of people whose phone he can use. He doesn’t work at present so he isn’t occupied (as he also only has a very small social group) but I still feel stink for having to wait. The waiting game sucks. Thing is we’ve only been together for a month and I already feel asthough he is the one. I have had this kind of treatment before and have held off with getting treated like this again. I don’t see myself as needy. I came on here as I need help. It’s slowly killing me and to me the small things like this matter. Please help me!

ReplySeptember 19, 2011, 10:21 pm

Now what?

This guy and I have liked each other for 2 years (we see each other at work once or twice/week). I am recently divorced, so we finally went out a couple of months ago. He took forever to ask me out, and I was getting frustrated. I gave him my number and he didn’t call right away. He is extremely busy with work (doctor) and has visitation with his child every other weekend. Finally he texted me to ask me out. Our first date we just went out for drinks, and we ended up just sitting and talking for 6 hours! The next weekend we went out again (to dinner and back to his house). We got hot and heavy, and he said that we should stop because he doesn’t want me to think that he’s just after sex. I thought that was very sweet. We ended this second 6 hour date by embracing, kissing, and just showing our affection for at least 45 minutes. I have never connected with anyone like that. We both admitted that we’ve liked one another since we first met. It was amazing!!!

So…fast forward two months later. He called me once the week after we went out, and I called him the following week (just to chat since he had 2 weeks straight with his child, and he wasn’t free). After that, I haven’t really heard from him. I backed off so that he could contact me. Then about two weeks ago, he saw me and said, “How are you? I haven’t heard from you lately!” Ok…so I texted him to see if he was free that upcoming weekend. No response, so I called him on Thursday to see if he wanted to get together. He said we could see each other on Sunday, and then when the time came, he totally flaked on me! Then he sees me at work and acts like he’s still totally interested. I don’t get it!!!!!!! I’m not acting needy. It’s been two months since our date. WTF???? He acts all interested, says he hasn’t heard from me, and then doesn’t return texts and flakes on a date. What do I do now? I really have never felt this way before, and I can’t imagine hitting it off any better with a guy. He said he wants more than casual sex/dating, so why isn’t he making an effort?????

ReplySeptember 19, 2011, 8:42 pm


I was in a relationship with a sweet guy. He would text me all the time and immediately respond to my texts. After a while, I began to lose interest. Then I broke it off because he acted like too clingy.

Now, I’m seeing a guy who at first texted me lots and replied pretty quickly. As soon as he knew I really liked him, the response rate has decreased and so has his interest. I know where he’s coming from because I felt that in my last relationship. Maybe it’s karma, I dunno. Yesterday, he didn’t contact me all day and I wasn’t having it because he knew I was sick at home. His texts leading up to yesterday were decreasing. Then I just didn’t contact him all day and he didn’t contact me. At night, I sent him a text that “I’m over it. It was fun. Wish you well.” Within minutes he came springing back. Said he dropped his phone in water (which I think is BS since he wouldn’t have gotten the text, it implies he contacted me on his own accord).

I guess this thing we had is just as serious as I’d like it to be so I’m not putting in more effort. Yea I like him and it hurts but it’s a wake up call because I know the difference between someone truly being into you and just a marginal attraction.

ReplySeptember 19, 2011, 7:39 pm


I appreciated your article. Now i do like this guy and he likes me but he asked me out and i said no due to my religion and all the drama that was happening in my household. He did seem pretty upset considering he is a top football player and all the females like him. A part of me thought he wanted me for sex. Anyway nest year of High school (10th grade) he had a girlfriend and i didn’t really care i was actually happy for him, but then he started flirting with me and trying to kiss me while he had a gf. I didn’t do anything with him because i knew had a gf and rumors will fly. Then he stop texting me and next thing you know he broke up with his gf. This year he’s been talking to me all the time and always touching me but sometimes he talks to his gf. We had serious talks before but he hasnt ask me out but i know he still likes me from the serious conversations that we had so idk. I don’t want to wait for him anymore I’m ready to date and feel good (not sex wise i am a virgin lol) But i still care for him and deep down want to be with him, but i dont want to waste my years of high School waiting and then nothing happens. :(

ReplySeptember 19, 2011, 6:42 pm


( continued)
…..I honestly , am gorgeous and practically win any heart over. Never ever have I been mean to anyone.

But I do not understand .
Why did he treat me like crap ?
and even now … treat me the same .
A million texts & random calls.

* he did like me first…. But I turned him down ( childhood )
*Then We became lovers in our teens and he ended it last year
…we both were lawfully able to buy liquor

ReplySeptember 18, 2011, 5:34 pm


I and ex-lover are in contact again.
We ‘ve been messing around since High School; we both can buy liquor now.
I used to be The-Girl-Next-Door.
Both our families are close.
Mother calls me her Daughter.

Either way, during all these years he had an’ On&Off Girlfriend( smart girl ,skinny & not pretty). Spoiled Drama Queen.

He’s sexy & has it all. an only child & serial cheater .strip clubs & everything,

Now, am married & we both had child at the same time. Coincidence ,huh?!

Everyone thought we were going to be together since we’re so compatible .Also , Family Loves me still.

Long time GF hates me. Sabotaged me over the years and now.

I loved him deeply & did everything he ever wanted.fulfilled every fantasy.

He still does this texting stuff . Close to Never calls.
Disappears . I was the one who calls & reached out .


a)Why did he continue to mess with me after every bad moment ?(lover days)
b)Why does he try flirt with me still?

c)He’s happy to see me ; when I visit his Mother?
But he never makes an effort to hang out with me ?

d) what should I do, ERIC ?!

ReplySeptember 18, 2011, 5:13 pm


He might genuinely like you but you are unavailable. He may not realize the emotional toll this is taking on you or he does but wants you to suffer too since you are married. If he can’t be happy and he fees you are his soulmate then why should you. II seriously don’t know the answer to this but my main guess will be because u r unavailable and he wants you.

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 1:16 am


@Amanda : :) thanks for replying . Sounds about right. But I was all his up to last year. Then to tried to move on and got hitched. Should O still go around and contact the family?
How often should I ?
I’m just so confused as to whether I keep my presence or not .
Cause the Family does love me.
Mot the sabotaging bitter Mother of his child.

ReplySeptember 28, 2011, 1:31 am


Yes, AB is right! We as women need to stop reading so much into a TEXT! Like seriously laides, don’t be so damn clingy. Give the guy his space! The more you bug him, the more he will be inclined to drop your ass just like that. No hesitation. Guys ignore you when they feel smothered. I freaked out on a guy once and ONLY ONCE. But I feel like I had a valid reason for confronting him. He acts as if he had done nothing wrong, when really he DID. In the rudest way. Yeah, I liked him, but why would any woman like a guy who treats her with such disrespect? After the stunt he pulled, I had no problem cutting him off as I have said in a previous comment. It wasn’t really all that hard to be like “see ya later asswipe!” Ladies, you are better than how these guys treat you. Everyone has a side to them that someone may not like them for, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it. You are worth it! And if some butthole tries to make you think otherwise, then who cares, HE’S THE ONE WHO ISN’T WORTH YOUR TIME. LOVE YA LADIES!

ReplySeptember 15, 2011, 11:24 pm


This is just a general comment…I love Eric’s articles and I believe he provides a lot of good insight. In this case, I think it’s natural for someone to want a guy to respond to a text message–otherwise, why try communicating at all? However, you shouldn’t need his response to validate how much he’s into you and it shouldn’t be a marker of a man’s maturity level. I believe an indication of anyone’s maturity level is the ability to live independently and enjoy one’s life according to what fulfills them. If he responds to you within 2 seconds, 2 minutes or 2 days etc, that’s great. But if he never responds, well that’s great too…now you can use that time to get to know someone else or do more of what you love ;)

ReplySeptember 15, 2011, 9:51 pm


Ok i just got so happy realising this site was still being used when u scrolled down! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! Right, here goes… I met this guy when i was out in a club, quite a smallish one (not that thats important!) anyhow we ended up spending a great amount of the night tgther, singing dancing just having a reallly fun night. Wwe kissed that night and he took my number. Im 18 almost 19 and hes 24 , i kno the age gap but we just had such fun. Anyhow weve texted for about a week and a half and hes mentioned more than once that hed love to meet up with me again. Suggested going fr a drink, but i cant tell if this means casual or more?!?! I asked really bluntly wt it meant and accidently saud ‘im stupid i presume things will go somewhere’ and his response was what makes u think they wont, he works alot but always texts me bk even though it often tks a few hours he still always responds and keepz the convo going. Hes complimented me amd flirts. But has also tkn an interest in my life and askedme about uni work etc, on the first night we met he was a gentleman and still has been, but does drinks mean he hopes thats an easy way fr a casual progression :| after reading sme sites im really doubting his intentions, if hes nt replying sooner js that a sign. Im usually glued to my phone so wen i gt a text i just txt bk, should i be waiting befre responding?!,! Pleaseee helpp befre i agree ro a drink next weeek!

ReplySeptember 15, 2011, 5:39 pm


So this guy that I’ve been talking to; mainly over text & fb but we finally made it to hang out last weekend. We went to the movies then afterwards we went our separate ways & planned on hanging again next weekend but he’s never texted or called since. Maybe he’s scared to make a commitment because I have a 5 month old son. I always have to text him first but I don’t really like to because I feel like I’m bothering him. He replys back every tine but is it because he feels like he has to or because he really wanted to?? Nd he also always say “yeah definitely” when I say we should hang out sometime but then he never goes thru with it. Am I missing the memo here or something?! One minute he seems interested than the next I don’t hear from him until I text him!! Yours or anyone else advice would be very appreciated!

ReplySeptember 13, 2011, 4:36 am


Eric Charles…you’re pretty freakin hot :)

ReplySeptember 12, 2011, 11:58 pm


Ive been seeing my FWB for 2years now on and off. We get on really well and recently found ourselves meeting up for just drinks or a meal. He became obbessed with coming over my house for the night so we had arranged on it and then he vanished for three weeks. He had finally texted me back a few days ago saying he was sorry he got scared that we were going deep and he shut off, now feels like a dick, as im Great!
We meet up that evening and he took me back to his house (he still lives with his parents) we talked and I said stop being so stupid im not ready for a realtionship yet either and dont do that again …communication is the key!. We ended up having sex again he didnt want me to leave his house but i insisted on leaving, as he’s working really long hours at the moment.
I havent heard anything from him since, he agreed he wouldnt ever get scared off again??? We meet on an online dating site, and now ive seen him actively on one again over the weekend.
Is this a lost cause? or am i being stupid ? I do really like him and think Ive fallen for him but i wont tell him that till hes more consistant. what do i do, please help me

ReplySeptember 12, 2011, 2:38 am


@soccerdumbie…….you should ask him one more time why he isn’t texting back and then I would just let him know what your thoughts are on why you think he isn’t responding. Explain to him that if he wasn’t responding because he thought you were asking him to homecoming, that he was mistaken and that it wasn’t meant to be interpreted the way he might have been thinking. Anyway, if he still does not respond to you, then I would just let it go and stop talking to him altogether. He clearly likes acting like a jackass.

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 9:25 pm

soccerdumbie xP

Okay so my this guys been my friend for awhile and i just developed feelings or whatever last year .. and hes been dating this girl on and off ever since she found out i liked him . yeah . so now their broken up and homecoming is coming up and i was getting a group of friends together to go with and i texted him if he was going and my words were kind of mixed and it sounded like i asked him to homecoming , and that wasnt really what i meant even with my feelings . and now hes not texting me back /: what is he thinking ? and what should i do now ?

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 9:19 pm


I wasn’t aware I had the option to reply directly to another commentors post. I’m on my phone, so I didn’t see the tiny little “reply” option until just now. Lol. My bad my bad.

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 9:36 pm


hey, so i like this guy and i think i might love him and i told him but everytime i text him he doesnt write back but when i facebook him he writes back and hes like text me sometime cutie and etcc what should i do?

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 8:45 pm


hey ok, so this guy i liked before would nEVER text me. it was always me texting him .. and he would take HOURS to reply back but he acted like he liked me sometimes and everytime i ended liking him more hed act like a jerk. :S now i dont talk to him for other reasons..

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 2:55 pm


Ive been seeing my FWB for 2years now on and off. We get on really well and recently found ourselves meeting up for just drinks or a meal. He became obbessed with coming over my house for the night so we had arranged on it and then he vanished for three weeks. He had finally texted me back a few days ago saying he was sorry he got scared that we were going deep and he shut off, now feels like a dick, as im Great!

We meet up that evening and he took me back to his house (he still lives with his parents) we talked and I said stop being so stupid im not ready for a realtionship yet either and dont do that again …communication is the key!. We ended up having sex again he didnt want me to leave his house but i insisted on leaving, as he’s working really long hours at the moment.

I havent heard anything from him since, he agreed he wouldnt ever get scared off again??? We meet on an online dating site, and now ive seen him actively on one again over the weekend.

Is this a lost cause? or am i being stupid ? I do really like him and think Ive fallen for him but i wont tell him that till hes more consistant. what do i do, please help me :-(

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 8:41 am


I use to obsess over why any guy I am talking to doesnt text back right away but two of the guys I have been involved with over the past 6 months are sherriff officers. We text each other a lot when they are at work. I HAD to learn to be patient because obviously their job is way more important than any text message conversation. Sometimes it takes hours for them to answer. Sometimes I never get an answer, they will just text me the next day or even a few days later. It’s not that big of a deal. I will even do the same thing myself now. It doesnt hurt to make a guy wait for you to respond to him. You don’t want him to think that you have nothing better to do than sit around with your phone in your hand waiting on him to text or call you. Go MIA during a text message conversation with him, let him wonder what you are doing that is more important than answering him right away. You have to give them time to miss you.

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 6:51 pm


I forgot to mention that this is not the first time this guy acted like this. When we were just friends with benefits (5 years ago) I was kind of into him (a lot) and he was very into his ex-girlfriend at the time, who, just like the last one, was treating him like a doormat. But back then, I confronted him about the not answering the phone and ignoring me and he said he did that for 2 reasons: 1 because he was hoping to get back with his girlfriend and second because i was too clingy and calling him too much. But now is different.. i even texted him several days ago and told him i’m not inlove with him and i just want to hang out, i’m not trying to force him into a relationship or something, so he basically doesn’t have a reason to not talk to me. So what I want to know if what do do/say to make him realize that having fun together is good and i don’t want anything more than that. Thanks again :)

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 3:22 pm


Hi! I have an issue :) I am kind of seeing this guy.. seeing is too much i think, we’re just sleeping together. We started out as friends (5 years ago) and then we started to date but didn’t work so we went back to being friends with benefits :) After some time I moved out of the country and been in other relationship for the past 4 years (still am). We used to IM sometimes – during these 4 years – and all was nice, very friendly. A couple of months ago I came to visit my home country and I met him too. He had just broken up with his girlfriend who treated him badly as far as I understood and he was kind of depressed. We went out a couple of times and also slept together. It was a lot of fun but then I went back to where I live with my boyfriend and while I was there we IMd a lot and from what he was writing I could see that he was kind of missing me or smth. Anyway.. now I am back to my home contry and will be here for some time. I contacted him several days after my arrival and we texted eachother for 2 days. He asked me to meet him at his place, 2 weeks ago, but I couldn’t go. The next day, instead, when I could go, he didn’t answer anymore. I like hanging out with him and the sex is amazing but I also don’t want to be pushy or needy or smth. I love my boyfriend a lot and I know cheating is wrong and I shouldn’t but, again, the sex with this guy is mind blowing and I can’t stop thinking about it. Anyhow.. it’s been 2 weeks now since we last communicated and I have called or texted every 3-4 days while I was out, to ask him if the wants to join and once I invited him to my place, but still no answer, and he also removed me from his IM list. What’s up with that?
Thanks :)

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 8:10 am


I hope I’m in the right place for my dilemma. First of all, the guy who I stopped talking to was the one persuing me from the very beginning and then I got sick of his mixed signals and hpw he purposely ignored me. He requested me as a friend on facebook and I accepted, then we started talking all day and all night for like a month. He had asked me to hang out on a daily basis, but I declined the first few times he asked me. When I finally agreed to hang out with him, we hung out a few times and we seemed to have a strong connection (or so I thought). The day after our last hang out session, he seemed to be ignoring me. I figured maybe he was busy working and I’m not the clingy type so I really didn’t mind. I mean, I wasn’t tryin to make him my boyfriend, I was just annoyed that he seemed to purposely ignore me on facebook and ignoring my texts. I finally got sick of his crap and confronted him. I was like “why do you act like I’m the coolest and most beautiful girl around and why do you keep asking me to hang out if you know darn well you’re full of crap?” So basically, we hung out, had some great laughs together, he said he was really into me, then just disappeared. I just kept thinking “oh my god, why do guys do that kind of stuff?” If someone doesn’t like me then they should speak up instead of being fake. And what’s even worse is that when we would go anywhere together, he walked behind me or in front of me like thirty feet apart and just kind of acted like he didn’t even know me in public. Then he made up every excuse as to why he did that, but I didn’t buy it so I just cut him off. He even tried to making me seem like the bad guy. LIKE WTF!?

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 1:59 am

Be strong! :)

I can say that i understand u perfectly. I think you shouldn`t talk to him anymore. I`m sure he`ll call you or try to make contact, but i think he`s an ass so u shouldn`t respond to any of his texts or phone calls. If u run into him just play cool and pretend to be busy and always in a hurry (sorry :( but i`m sure ur a worth girl) and guys like him only appreciate crap and crap. They`ll only go after craps that look like girls! sHOW him who rules! Use him (wihtout any sex contact) reverse the situation. MAKE him ur pet! Believe me, u`ll feel much better under u see that just deserves to be treated like this. He`s only crap and deeply inside, he knows that!

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 1:06 pm


I’m sorry, I posted another comment on the public board responding to you because I didn’t know I had the option to directly reply to you. I didn’t see the “reply” button. Lol. I did the same thing with soccerdumbie.

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 9:48 pm


@ UPSET :(
Hey np. :) Well i hope everything works out . Idk what you should do, i think its best if you fallow your gUT feeling. I on the other hand….. give him a call! :) 2 months is past and soon to be 3! so it dosnt hurt to say a little hello and how are you. :) Of course you might be terrified.. but whats the worst that can happen ?? He either does not pick up, he says im busy cant talk. BUT atleast u tried. think positive though. :)

PS: good luck whatever you choose to do, life isnt over no matter what happens. we all have our doupts at one point, just ned to step up and beleive ;) hope my babling helps!!!!

ReplySeptember 7, 2011, 10:38 pm


Thanx for ur advice and words, Vanilla22! It might sound weird to you but this calling or texting thing is the worst situation under-pressured i`ve ever been to. I`d rather expect to run into him sometime and say “hello” ask him how he`s doing. What in the world could make him so busy that he can`t text or call? . He might be into “something” else. Anyways, I think the most important thing is my heatlh, and believe me this thing have been making me feel very sick. I`ve realized that, not thinking on him helps me feel better. I appreciate ur most positive energy and words. Sice he was very into me and sice he used be the one who texted or called, I`m that one of these days he`ll show up for better or worse. Still, if he`s really interested he will call sooner or later. If he doesn`t, means he wasn`t “that” into me. I got hurt many times by thinking the “he might not feel secure about my feelings towards him” and believe i got unbeliveable sorprises. I`d rather just wait and see what happens! My best regards to you. I`m deeply thaNKFULL for your replyings!

ReplySeptember 8, 2011, 12:46 pm

Be strong! :)

Vanilla22!!! where r u!!!! Missing u already! I wanted to tell that i thought a lot on your advice! The other day i saw this wonderful movie with jennifer aniston and jay mohr”picture perfect” and it made me cry a lot. Cause it reminded me of my “GUY”…and i felt kind of encouraged and i texted him!!! yeap! I TEXTED HIM!!!! but wait….as an ANONYMOUS…..i didn`t dare to write my name…..I`M STill terrified! I love him son much that i coudn`t stand a “no texting back”. He might know that it was me…eventhough it was an anonymous…he might at least think or supect it was me..well let`s see! Misiing ur comments already!

ReplySeptember 12, 2011, 9:38 pm


Ummm… neediness is a normal response to attachment stimuli. Read the book, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment.” Scientists have confirmed that neediness and protest-behavior are part of the normal attachment cycle. It is not maladaptive to be needy, no. In fact, it’s unhealthy to be AVOIDANT. Avoidant attachment style in one, in fact, gives way to Anxious attachment style in the other. It’s a viscous cycle, and one I’m glad to have identified.

When two people undergo attachment, neediness is a natural feeling and response. The true mature gentleman who has secure attachment style will respond to the woman’s needs. When he does, the woman actually becomes less needy, sorta like babies when they know their caregiver is nearby, they feel safe to wonder about.

While your advice is good, I’m concerned that you’re treating normal attachment behavior as if it were a disease. Neediness is instinctual and hard-wired into our brains. No person can take away their instincts, and you’re making woman feel guilty for how we attach and bond. Men can have the same issue when a woman is avoidant or anxious. Just read the book man so you can stop leading people astray.


ReplySeptember 7, 2011, 3:35 am

Eric Charles

I’ll check out the book. And thank you for your comment.
I want to clarify where I’m coming from and what I’m advocating here (and pretty much all my articles.)
And forgive me, I’m going to go on a bit of a tangent here but I think you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
There’s nothing wrong with connection, attachment, bonding, etc. It’s a beautiful thing.
I mean, if you want to zoom out to a crazy philosophical level, there’s nothing “wrong” with anything. Like for example, there’s nothing “wrong” with eating tons of fast food and junk, but it’s a pretty certain way to lead yourself to results that you don’t want.
What I advocate is women filling their lives with all sorts of joy and fullness, so their potential relationship doesn’t have them feeling like “all their eggs are in one basket”, so to speak.
Sure, anyone can whip out a book with “scientific studies” and tell me about oxytocin till their blue in the face.
But at the end of the day, just because a study says that certain bonding chemicals are released during a female orgasm doesn’t mean it’s in her best interest to send him 50 text messages asking what he’s doing. (I’m half-kidding here, but I’ve seen some stuff over the years…)
I’m sure the book is interesting, but there’s lots of stuff that we’re “hard-wired” for that is not helpful in today’s world.
There’s lots of talking heads in the dating advice world who want to throw out “being hard-wired” as the end-all be-all argument for people acting poorly.
We’re hardwired to love eating sugar and other garbage. We’re hardwired to love drugs (depending on our genetic predispositions).
Should we run out Krispy Kreme and start blowing lines of coke off the table?
Again, I’m being silly here and I’m not saying that the book might not have good info, but I’m just throwing out some caution here.
I think you’d agree that if a woman is happy in general and loves herself, she’s in a better position to relate with men than if she’s not in a good place emotionally.
I’m sure when I read the book I’ll enjoy it and agree with the points, but I’m also pretty certain there’s nothing that I advocate that the book would negate.
We’ll see. Again, thanks and I’ll let you know what I think once I have a chance to read it.

ReplySeptember 7, 2011, 5:16 pm


Well I came this site because this guy I like would txt me and stuff and we’d laugh. But he didn’t txt back today and it made me think he doesn’t like me well I read some of your comments and thought may be it just means he is busy but he told me one time that this girl was ignoring him so he didn’t txt back and he didn’t like her so now im not sure what’s up? But I’ve liked for a year and we are just now becoming close enough that I thought there might be something there but idk like he talks to me and stuff but I always have to txt him. Idk I guess I just wanna know what you think cause I’m not sure if i should tell him I like him or if that would mess everything up caz I’ve told a guy I liked him before and then he stopped liking me cause I guess he only liked that I didnt like. So basically I don’t know what too do?

ReplySeptember 6, 2011, 9:42 pm


Vanilla22! Thanx for words! But i`m terrified! I`m super afraid of being rejected or not getting any text or phone call back. I believe that if a guy is really into someone he`ll go for it! PLUS, i`ve already called him once after he dissapeared and he thanked me (but not even that helped the situation) but…well….i`m very upset cAUSE i think i have sent my last soldiers to fight. Thanx for words anyway cause you`re very optimistic. I hope i still have another chance. I hope he remembers those great times we had together. I don`t wanna miss his friendship! I think he`s a great human being! And i hope he calls me sometime. Send me ur most positive energy and vibration cause i really need it.

ReplySeptember 6, 2011, 9:23 pm


what does it mean if you wanted to tell your friend something scretly. but then your guy friend said is it about me ? dies it mean he likes me or something cause im confused .

ReplySeptember 6, 2011, 6:45 pm


Hey @ UPSET : ( I was reading ur post and well i personelly think anybody deserves a secnd chance. Maybe thye one night stand thing was not such a good idea because most of the time one of the people fall in love. I think you should call him up, and just be yourself. Ask him how he is and that you miss hangning out with him. Maybe even if you can chill together? Dont feel sad. :) anything canppen you jsut need to beleive.

ReplySeptember 6, 2011, 6:00 pm


Charles! I need your help! i was seeing a guy for more than a month. Since he was just a one nihgt stand i just didn`t really pay attention to him or to his efforts to make me fall in love with him. Every time we went out was because he texted me or called me. We even had a fight one time and he called me after that more than one time. We were ok. Now it`s been almost 2 months that i haven`t heard from him. He just dissapeared. Like a month ago, i texted him but he never answer back. I also called him once, i played cool and i wasn`t more than 3 minutes on the phone. i told him that just i callled just to say “hi_”.. He thanked me for thinking of him and calling him, but since that it`s been already a month. 2 weeks ago i googled his name and i found out that he was a mini celebrity in the heavy metal world in my country. I found many articles about him and his career(he`s a musician) i feel so bad cause i didn`t payed attention to him and to all the stories about his life. I didn`t even know his last name until the last day we saw each other. Now I just feel empty and stupid cause i miss the conversations we had when used to hang ou, i miss him as a friend, lover, i miss him in the whole sense! I`m in bIG TROUBLE, cause i think that now he`s gone i realize that I`M IN LOVE WITH HIM, and the worst is that i was just trying to play hard and see how much i could get from him. I`m very sad, but i`ve definitely decided not calling or trying to make any contact with him whatsoever. My question is….Do i still have any chance with him? Did i go beyond than the play hard rules?

ReplySeptember 5, 2011, 11:13 pm


so i’ve worked with this guy for 2 years now. we both started talking this summer. He would call me every night and we would talk for hours, when he got back from vacation he wanted to pick me up to hang out so he could take me home. I met his family and all of his friends. I really started to like him. and one day we were talking about relationships. were going to different schools in a few weeks but i said we could visit eachother and still have fun. he said he didnt want a relationship becuase of the long distance. I understood and still just wanted to have fun with him. We hung out almost everyday and became very close. But recently he stopped texting me. and wanted to hang out way less. we hung out last night and then today he said we needed to talk. he said he needed space and didnt want to lead me on. Im very confused because earlier he was saying he really liked me and wanted us to visit eachother and stuff. but now he’s being very weird..

ReplySeptember 5, 2011, 2:12 am


Same here…why all of sudden you are texting and then it just stops. I don’t get it, it is like your in the middle of a conversation and then they disappear or at least we think we are in a conversation. Two can play the game. If i just wait as hard as it is, he will text my head i am like dang it has only been 24 hours. We are just friends with the whole benefit thing, but i like him more than that and he has said he has feelings for me. But right now it wouldn’t work out…. ;(

ReplySeptember 4, 2011, 1:17 pm


Hi, i love this website and all you’re advice:)
so i decided to ask you for some as well… My friend tried to set me up with his friend so he gave him my number and we talked on the phone for about ten mins. I sent him a pic of me and he sent a pic of him and we both were very attracted to eachother. He was having a bbq at his house last week with some friends and invited me and i went with my best friend. it was kind of weird at first because we didnt know anyone and i never met him before but after a while we warmed up. It was fun and we havd a good time. then later then night when i was leaving he walked me to my car and we were just tlking for a little bit and we hugged eachother and he asked me when i was going to “hit him up”.. i told him he should call/text m first and he said he was going to the next morning cuz he was really tired. so i waited for him to text me and he never did. so 2 days later i texted him and he never responded.i know hes really busy and stuff but i think he would have at least texte me back. also hes 27 im 19 idk if that makes a difference.

ReplySeptember 3, 2011, 8:33 pm


Thanks :)

ReplyAugust 10, 2011, 10:49 pm

Grace Anzoaetgui

Hi! I`M so glad i found this website! All the advices about guys have been very useful!

ReplyAugust 9, 2011, 10:03 pm

Apoorva Gora

y would u tell all the secrets to everyone..

ReplyAugust 5, 2011, 4:13 am


i love a guy who ive been friends with for two years now, on and off. We’ll speak for days at a time via text or facebook and then not speak to each other again for months at a time. Every summer while i was working in the country, he would drive up every weekend, for no other apparent reason then for us to hang out. He gave no signs that he liked me at all except i had feelings for him. He went through a rough patch at one point, we were supposed to meet up but he couldnt bother to come sober, so I stopped talking to him altogether. I deleted him off facebook, deleted his number off my phone. 5 months later he realizes i deleted him and tries readding me and asked why we werent friends. I chose not to re add him because it was too much of a rollercoaster for my emotions but he was very persistent. He sent me a long apology letter explaining how sorry he was for acting so disrespectfully to me and that he treasured our friendship blah blah blah. That summer I see him one weekend and we have a really amazing time as usual, just friends. I had a connecting flight in chicago where he lives and he came to pick me up for a few hours, which is when he chose to introduce me to his recent girlfriend who i had never heard of until this point. It broke my heart and I didnt speak to him again until january when we skyped for about two hours and my friends overheard the whole thing and said “that guy is so in love with you” but he’s not. its the most bizarre situation. He puts so much effort into calling me and skyping, but when it comes down to it, he has a girlfriend who he’s been dating forever. please tell me what his deal is and how i can get away from these mind games i can’t take it any longer.

ReplyAugust 5, 2011, 12:23 am


ik help someone plz i need to gt my swagg bck

ReplyAugust 4, 2011, 10:43 pm


ok so i had a bff lets call him um jack and so jack and mii txt like five hours strait a day and he askes miii out and says things like if i give him one kiss he would smile a lifetime but i said no time after time and he is so sweet but im scared of fallin for a guy that lives an hour away i have no idea wat to do i think im startin to love him but i cant cas hes mi cuzs bff also but we hav to everything in secret cas well im more popular and well hes not very and if i date him mi parents would kill mi miii sister will make fun of mii idk wat to do i wanna say yes but we only see each other every other week and it wont work datin a guy i knew since first grade :( help

ReplyAugust 4, 2011, 7:32 pm


ok so my bf of 2 yrs is now travelling for weeks on end now for work. week on weekend home etc. I know he s busy with work and all but a simple hello text or when i txt an i love you text he doesnt text back if he once in a while does he says u 2. so i just quit saying it its not like i harrass him and always say it he knows i do but like ive told him its nice to be able to communicate once in a while. I don t know how to get it in his mind. words mean so much and so does the little things in life and i dont know how many times ive said or shown him. I feel abandonned everytime he does that and yet he calls to (check up on me) but i never call him because when i do he gets mad(out with his friends), like iam suppose to know that. He is more stubborn then i am.

ReplyAugust 4, 2011, 5:05 pm


@ Kat, are you a dude? If not, shut your mouth, she wasn’t talking to you.

ReplyAugust 4, 2011, 2:08 pm


Im confused…my friend n I were texting each other non stop….he did said once that he likes me how serious he was idk. Not to long ago he invited me to go with him n we did go out n it was nice. After that he started to not text back like how he use to. A day n a half passed n he texted back (ok maybe he needed space, not a problem I understand) I didnt mentioned anything bout y he didnt text back when I texted him…I ignored that. We texted each other again but for me something was not feeling right. We went out again like three days ago n everything was ok as it seem.we textes after that but then he didnt texted back again…its gonna be 3 days now n he hasnt texted back n I havent texted him either since that day…should I text him n see whats going on? Should I ask him if everything is ok eventhough we are only friends? Or should I just ignore this again n wait until he textes back? Im confused!!! Help!!!!

ReplyAugust 4, 2011, 11:02 am


emma its like 3 or 4 cooments up

ReplyAugust 3, 2011, 11:22 pm


To all you lovely ladies with questions about men – I would like to direct you to google “manslations”. It’s a website by a guy who gives advice from a man’s point of view – he’s honest and funny as hell. I promise you’ll learn so much with his “golden rule” and also his “2 questions” system and you won’t regret it. There’s also pretty much every situation covered there – just have a look through the “archives” section for all the questions posed to him and his explanation for the men’s behaviour. You’ll be both enlightened & empowered by what he writes. Good luck out there all you lovely ladies!

ReplyAugust 3, 2011, 2:24 pm


Ok I will try, thanks for the advice :) but whats your sinuation??

ReplyAugust 3, 2011, 1:00 pm


help me with my sinuation tho

ReplyAugust 3, 2011, 4:54 am


dont be like tht im 13 when a girl does tht to me i think i have her and i can do anything and she wouldnt leave me just ignore him tell him u like him then stop txting him unless he txtes u bck

ReplyAugust 3, 2011, 4:52 am


Hi the guy I like keeps ignoring me, and I asked him out but he still has not emaild me back and we were supposed to have a date but we were not sure when, so I just asked him out but he just wont talk to me I tried everything and for some reason my phone wont let me text or call him to see whats going on.. and I just need some adivce to tell me what to do :( . Do I sound to desperate???

ReplyAugust 2, 2011, 7:08 pm


My crush and I are casual friends. We’ve texted before and called eachother about school before. Last thrusday would have been the last time I saw him, when we took our college summer class finals(july 21st). He’s moving away to start university at a different school bout 2 hours away. And since I didn;t want the last time we saw eachother to be on that day. I asked him to the movies with me and my friend(through text message) on july 28th for the 30th, he texted right back with “right on. But I’m going deer hunting right now”. I didn;t text back after that as to not distrub him. Then on the 30th, I texted him the time and specifics in the morning since the movie was around 7pm. He didn;t text back and then I texted him 5 mins before the movie was gonna start to see if he was coming and then I tried to call him but he didn’t text back at all or pick up the phone. It’s been a whole day since and still nothing. Whats going on with him, why hasn’t he texted back ?

ReplyAugust 1, 2011, 7:11 am


I’m confused. Every comment to this post is a relationship question. Hmmmm….

I think what Eric is saying here is SO valuable and so true. As a woman, if I can keep my insecurities in check, keep my self-worth and self-esteem where they belong (i.e. #1) and think in the terms he has put forth, I am SOOO much happier not only in my relationships, but in my day to day life.

Also, I have recently gotten off the txt train (aka lazy man’s road to nowhere). If a guy wants to talk to me, he has to pick up the phone and call me. Now, if he wants to be a sweetheart and not make me look up the location of our date, after he asks me out and gets an “I’d love to!” he can feel free to txt me the address. Otherwise, a random txt may get an LOL, but after that, I have a life so he won’t be getting much more.

Thanks again Eric for the great advice! I am a big fan and read all of your postings.

ReplyJuly 30, 2011, 7:09 pm


I have a question. If a guy talks to you for a couple days straight..then he ignores you. What does it mean? Like it was and endless conversation about what we like, family all that and now no answer. Im thinking of moving on..but some advice might help, as to why the sudden ignoring, cheers :)

ReplyJuly 30, 2011, 8:02 am


I meet this guy 3 months ago, and I really like him, he seems to be very up front and honest about what is going on in his life, and although we exchanged numbers we never really did a lot of communicating but we did communicate, also I just happened to continuously run into him when I would be out with friends, and when I run into him he is always alone, no females or male friends around it is just him. When I ran into him he always redirects his attention towards me and focuses on me the entire time we are out, so I took him home for the 1st time about a month ago after randomly running into him (which was also the same week that his father had passed away) we slept together that evening and he contacted me the next day, and the communication was great for the 3 weeks that followed, before and after the funeral, and the communication started to decline. And I kind of over reacted a few times, and he explained to me that I am over reacting but he has been busy working because he had to pay for his father’s funeral out of pocket no insurance because his dad had cancer for the past 7 yrs. When I would send him a txt telling him that I was upset at his lack of communication he ALLWAYS replied to those messages, being very apologetic. The last time I went out him he introduced me to a lot of his friend then he told me that he may not always do the right thing but there are no other women, he want me and he would never cheat on me. We went out to eat and back to him place and then he did not call me for several dys, I went off on him again and we decided, well he had so things that he had to take care of and I was wanting to know how things turned out, so I text him to see how things when and he told me fine and that he missed me, I think I may have assumed the break was over because the communication stopped again, the only time I txt him was to ask him to send me a new pic I had gotten a new ph and then I had 2 job offers come in the same day I txt when bth came in & he replied “good” to both. 4 dys later I txt him and told him I was done bc of the lack of communication and that was 4 dys ago and he has not txt me back(no surprise) the problem is I think maybe that is not what I want, like I said he always replied when I would tell him off abt his lack of communication but not this time, I know it may be too much too soon. I want to know how do I go about re-breaking the ice since I am the one that threw in the towel, and how long should I wait to contact him?

ReplyJuly 29, 2011, 5:08 pm


Hey lili just wait, if he calls you act
Normal as if nothing happened. If he doesn’t text him saying that you were waiting for him to call, did anything happen? (;

ReplyJuly 29, 2011, 10:43 am


I would say you are either annoying to him, or he wants to see weather you like him or not by testing how much you can wait. The best way is to directly ask him if he likes you or not. If he said no don’t freak out, because he
Might change his mind. If he said yes with an annoyed voice than you
Are being annoying, and probably he doesn’t want a serious relation ship.
Good luck

ReplyJuly 29, 2011, 10:39 am


If you have a boyfriend he stop calling and testing what should I do to make him text back or call please answer my questions I need advice…

ReplyJuly 29, 2011, 2:41 am


So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we got into a disagreement and now i haven’t heard from him for 3 days, I’ve called and text him and i don’t get a responds. this weekend we were suppose to go to a concert together and now i don’t know if we are since we haven’t spoke. i just don’t know if i should sell my ticket and forget about it or just wait around and see if he calls me. what should i do?

ReplyJuly 28, 2011, 1:56 pm


I have a question:
This guy only came out saying he likes me since the day he met me and thinks im beautiful,amazing and pretty much thinks im attractive and have a good personality over myspace and he would of told me sooner but he’s shy. anyway two days later we spoke again and i had asked him if he meant it and he said yes and he kept saying the sweetest things like im glad i met you but all a sudden he asked me if i had made love with he’s friend a couple of years back and i told him the truth and told him it was all in the past and if he really likes me he’ll understand but now he’s stopped talking to me? does he still like me or should i give up ?

ReplyJuly 28, 2011, 2:06 am


Okay so me and my boyfriend will be 2 months tomaro and so i havent talked to him in like lets say 2 to 3 days and i decided to text him yesterday but he didnt reply, so i left it like that cause i dont want him to find me annoying. But i really want to talk to him so we can make plans for tomaro (our 2 months) what if he doesnt reply ? Like when he makes plans i end up not going cause i cant but then when i make plans he cant so one day we both made plans and he said he was going to go but it was a lie cause he didnt! so should i end this or should i just be upset with him an not text him back when he says sorry. Like he didnt reply when i wated to talk to him. I just dont want it to happen again.

ReplyJuly 28, 2011, 2:01 am


That all happened within the past week and a half. My birthday was , on this upcoming saturday, two weeks ago. Why is he doing this?

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 11:05 pm


Ignore the 1st one. That one had mistakes in it lol.

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 11:01 pm


Okay so I met this kid named Jack last halloween through a few mutual friends. Then, a few months later, I saw him again because we were in a show together. The show was High School Musical 2 (the Jr. version.) I played Taylor Mckessie, and he played Troy Bolton so we had quite a few scenes together. People (more specifically my mom, one of our best friend’s John, and my aunt) were ALWAYS telling me that him and I should get together. They said it so much to me that at first, I was like “no.” But then I started to listen to them, and I started to like him a little. I got the feeling that he kinda liked me too, but then a few months later, he started to go out with our friend ‘becca. I remember crying on the phone to my friend Alysa about it saying that my life was exactly like the song “Teardrops On My Guitar” by Taylor Swift. They broke up about 2 months ago. About two weeks after their breakup, I texted him and he texted back. He was really, really upset about that (and still kind of is. He is more angry than upset though. Like, he is more angry at her for breaking up with him than being sad about it.) This went on for a few weeks (texting each other back and fourth) but it then slowed down a lot because school was ending and our teachers were throwing work at us left and right. After school ended, we started texting again. We would text for HOURS every single night. We would take turns texting each other back and fourth every day. Then, after my 16th birthday (which he came to) the texting kind of died down. A few days ago, we got into a little arguement over something completely stupid. I told him something and I asked him not to tell anybody. But he told our best friend John and John told me, and I got mad at Jack because I asked him not to tell anybody. It wasn’t like it was a little secret. In my mind, it was a pretty big secret. After that, it became kind of awkward. He rarely responds to my texts anymore and if he does, it takes him a few hours. It’s not like I text him every second saying something like “why don’t you answer me anymore?” or any of that because that would make me sound desperate. I would just like to know why he is being like that?

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 10:59 pm


Okay so I met this kid named Jack last halloween through a few mutual friends. Then, a few months later, I saw him again because we were in a show together. The show was High School Musical 2 (the Jr. version.) I played Taylor Mckessie, and he played Troy Bolton so we had quite a few scenes together. People (more specifically my mom, one of our best friend’s John, and my aunt) were ALWAYS telling me that him and I should get together. They said it so much to me that at first, I was like “no.” But then I started to listen to them, and I started to like him a little. I got the feeling that he kinda liked me too, but then a few months later, he started to go out with our friend ‘becca. I remember crying on the phone to my friend Alysa about it saying that my life was exactly like the song “Teardrops On My Guitar” by Taylor Swift. They broke up about 2 months ago. About two weeks after their breakup, I texted him and he texted back. This went on for a few weeks (texting each other back and fourth) but it then slowed down a lot because school was ending and our teachers were throwing work at us left and right. After school ended, we started texting again. We would text for HOURS every single night. We would take turns texting each other back and fourth every day. Then, after my 16th birthday (which he came to) the texting kind of died down. A few days ago, we got into a little arguement over something completely stupid. I told him something and I asked him not to tell anybody. But he told our best friend John and John told me, and I got mad at Jack because I asked him not to tell anybody. It wasn’t like it was a little secret. In my mind, it was a pretty big secret. After that, it became kind of awkward. He rarely responds to my texts anymore and if he does, it takes him a few hours. It’s not like I text him every second saying something like “why don’t you answer me anymore?” or any of that. I would just like to know why he is being like that?

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 10:54 pm


Ok, I have a crush on this boy, and we txt each other and he told me that he likes me then he siad he didn’t between a week! We still txt but he always answers with ok, ya, sure, idk, yeah, and I’ve told him about that he just kept doing it! I want to make him like me but it just seems impossible with him! He’s so cute but so ANNOYING!!!! Help!

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 9:59 am


I met a guy on He sent me messages for about 3 weeks before I would agree to meet him. We have been to dinner and hung out at his place twice. He sends me a message at least once a day to say “have a good day or something sweet like “you’re wonderful or hey beautiful. However, he seldom sticks to a planned date, he cancels or says he is going to be late and then I don’t hear back from him. Do I give up?

ReplyJuly 26, 2011, 10:51 pm


Men just suck forreal. Women deal head on while men just coward away by just not telling us whatshe problem. I wanna know why are men so afraid? *women feel free to comment but i need some men to answer that question.”

ReplyJuly 26, 2011, 6:37 am


mimibabii is completely spot on!

men are simple creatures (no offence to any man reading this) but if they want to speak to you they will text you/text back! from my experience if a guy wont respond after you’ve text them once or twice then just leave him! delete his number and find someone who gives a crap about you, if theres a genuine reason for them not to text you you will find out sooner or later, but more often than not its because they dont want to pursue anything further with you, they’ve realised you may not be the one, they may have met someone else. life is cruel…

ReplyJuly 26, 2011, 6:00 am


I’m so confused….my ex called me out of the blue a few weeks ago after not speaking for like 4 or 5 years. He explained to me that he had been looking for me for several years, and was finally able to make contact with me after involving a friend of his who is really good with computers. We spoke on the phone and texted each other everyday for like a week, then all of sudden he just stopped calling and texting. I guess I just don’t understand why he would go through all of the trouble to find me and then just stop speaking to me like that. I never once asked when we were going to see each other again, I wasn’t blowing up his phone or being “needy”. I don’t know what to think or how to feel at this point!!!!What’s the problem?!!! Why would a person do that?

ReplyJuly 26, 2011, 5:42 am


hi, i have been in this situation recently & this guy i’ve known for quite sometime did this exact thing which i really coudn’t understand because i never really liked him but he liked me so a few years later meet up bang boom we’re a couple i end it..he wants me back..i stop talkin to em..then he starts talkin back to me..i miss you miss you too type of crap then back at square one with the no response of text messages nor phone calls. I’m not the type of woman to wait around for no man, if he starts actin stupid & possibly ignoring you MOVE ON!! In my opinion its a complete waste of time to be at a guys feet & be there when he wants you to, i’m not saying i haven’t done this cause i have but i learned my lesson & mine was getting my feelings hurt to much cause he made it seem like & sound like something it never was or could be. He can’t be there for you cause he never responds to you, so automatically what does that mean?? He simply doesn’t care whatsoever what you have to say cause if he did he would make time PERIOD! I think guys that do this are just plain right out jerks for this (not the ones that are truly busy with work or something important), but then theres the wanna be playa-pimps, married ones, & the ones that are in relationships but their too chicken ish to say so & want both. Life is too short ladies don’t wait around for a man to text you back or call if he’s takin too long.Like my bf says there are 24 hours in a day texting with some ppl take 2-5 seconds to say hey im thinkin about you or i wont be able to make it or i cant tonight can we hang tomorrow, if he doesn’t go hang out with your girls, go have fun you might meet someone that will always make time for you because he’s really that into you:) Somehow someway i hope this helps & i didn’t offend anyone:) Take care ladies

ReplyJuly 25, 2011, 10:35 pm


Ok, so I really like this guy, and he knows that I like him, but he doesn’t like me back. Everyone says that he does like me back and that he’s just being stupid but I’m too confused to tell. We talk a lot, and it looks like he’s flirting but we’re not getting anywhere. What do you think is going on inside that crazy guy mind of his?

ReplyJuly 23, 2011, 5:06 pm


So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, we actually used to hang out a few years ago but nothing happened because he wouldn’t text and I wouldn’t text..we just stopped keeping in touch… so then I moved on and found someone else, who is now my ex.
Now, years later we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and kind of picking up where we left off…and I really like him, he makes me feel very comfortable and tells me that he likes me a lot and that I am so different from every other girl hes ever gone out with and that if things go well down the road if I think I would be his girlfriend and of course I said yeah……but the thing that I don’t understand is that he doesn’t call me, and , he takes forever and a day to text me back. If I text him sometimes he takes a whole day to reply or even gets back to me the next day and If I don’t text him, he wont text me. I told him that that’s the reason why we stopped hanging out before, and in a funny, none-bossy way I said “don’t let it happen again, I really like you” because he knows I really like him and I know he really likes me, and yes he did tell me that he doesn’t like to text, that he prefers to call and that he would call me everyday and then nothing, I just can’t get myself to comprehend why he doesn’t get back to me. I thought that when a guy really likes you he would keep in touch with you and call you and all these other things, and its all there when were hanging out but not when we’re apart, I get mixed feelings and I am not the best person at having these conversations, and it’s not like we’re exclusive but why would he ask me if I would be his girlfriend or how much I like him all the time if he doesn’t care to text me back, he waits on me to do it and I am not one to be chasing after men… I don’t know what to think anymore…

ReplyJuly 20, 2011, 3:08 am


i want my boyfriend to stop talking too these two girls(sisters) that like him but all he says is he’ll try .. i told him once but he didnt stop he made it seem like he did by deleting there numbers so i got fed up because he tells me i cant talk to my two best guy friends and i still do secretly but its just like what the hell .., i need help .. & we been going out for amlost 11 months

ReplyJuly 19, 2011, 1:33 pm


just for a mtest

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:52 pm


we spoke at the

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:46 pm


Hi I like this guy I’ll call him jo we see eachother at the coffee shop every day, How do I ask him out for a date?

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:44 pm


hey it looks like you have to be the one to ask.

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:49 pm


Hi my name is robert ive liked this girl at school, we talked alittle how do I know
if she likes me?

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:42 pm


Ilike thisguy at school we try to talk but it seems that his friends won’t leave us
alone. What can we do to find some alone time?

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 9:40 pm


this one guy doesn’t fit any of your stories..I text him a lot, he texts back like 1 for three texts.. When we’re mad at each other..I think it’s completely over and I delete all of hid texts.. It happened more than I can count where I just delete everything. 2 days later he comes back to’s so strange because I thought i did something to screw it up. He prefers calls over texts also, like this afternoon he called. I always think he’s unpredictable. I think everyone is just different.

ReplyJuly 16, 2011, 10:54 pm


Up above I meant me and this guy started talking

ReplyJuly 14, 2011, 12:33 am


Ugh it’s drivin me crazy because me and this started talking cuz my friends boyfriend came to visit and I met his cousin and then later tht week me and his cousin started dating and then a few days later I found out tht he was with someone else and he apologized and blah blah blah and then we ended up dating again like a week later and then a few days later I found out he was still with the same chick and then I broke up with him and he never texted back or anything. He even said he was in love with me and that be wanted to take things slow and he was just such a sweetheart and Im just so wanting him to call me right now. I don’t understand why I can like a guy like that and yea it’s only been a day and I can’t get over it over night but I’m just sooooo desperate for him to call me I just need some advice from someone besides a friend :/

ReplyJuly 14, 2011, 12:32 am


i started to text this guy and we text for 3 days straight until i stopped texting him then when i text him like a week later he doesn’t reply then i texted him a couple days later he still wont reply until i told him happy birthday he said thanks and two days later i texted him and he don’t reply i dont know if i should try to text him again or delete his number and forget about him.

ReplyJuly 13, 2011, 5:05 am


Tell u how u really feel if it’s bothering you.. When a girl suddenly becomes cold, like when u didn’t text him, then normal again the guy doesn’t understand.. Dont let someone slip away from u if u really care.

ReplyJuly 16, 2011, 11:19 pm


but wont that be needy?

ReplyJuly 19, 2011, 8:56 am


Hi. I have a neighbour who recently broke up with his fiance about 4 months ago. He’s going through a hard time over that and I totally understand that. Anyway, we both have dogs and when I walk by his house we would chat sometimes even when he was with his girl. After they broke up he made sure to let me know he was single a couple months later and one day said if I felt like company when I take my dog for a walk to call on him to join me. So, a few days later I did. I really liked him for some reason even though I didn’t know him well. Anyway to make things short, he was so nice and we had such a good time together and after that first walk he literally text me every day and invited me over every day and was such a gentleman to me. He was straight forward from the beginning about not being ready to jump into a relationship which was totally understanding for me and I didn’t blame him so I told him we are friends and if eventually something comes out of it then good. I remember one text message he sent me said that he wanted to do so much with me meanining relationship wise but he just wasn’t ready for it. I was fine with that and we agreed to stay friends and see each other and we still did kiss each other. Now he’s done this total turn around. I just live down the street from him and he seems to have o time for me but yet I always see him with his other female friends and if I do see him it’s for so short or never a day like he seems to spend with one of his female friends and takes her out but never really aske me if I would like to go out. It’s only always to his place I guess because that’s just so easy since I’m only 9 doors down. One thing I don’t understand is why he would just totally change and not ask to see me as much anymore. The strange thing is that he texts me every day and every single morning I don’t go without a good morning text message from him. I feel like he doesn’t care about me but yet he texts me every day and I’m too nice to tell him not to. I don’t understand him. Why does he still want to text me when he has no time to see me.

ReplyJuly 12, 2011, 1:03 pm


You’re the rebound girl.

ReplyJuly 17, 2011, 3:13 pm


ok…. so i really like this guy ?( ill call him kay) so kay and i were talking and he told he liked me and i said i liked him back and we were friends for like 2 years now. he sent cute pics to me and i sent them back! we got very close and then he never texted me back after like 3 weeks or so now! im really upset and i have liked him for 3 years now!!!!! i really dont know what to do! i want to be close to him but not seem needy and ive texted him like a lot trying to figure it out. im so sad!!!! i like love him!!!!!!!!!!!! :( i really want him to be with me and he said he felt the same but now…… i dont know anymore!!! :( ughhhhhh </3

ReplyJuly 11, 2011, 5:49 pm


Ok so, there is this guy that I met at a puplic pool the other day. I’ve known of him for a while, but never actually comunicated. Him and his brother came over to my group of friends and we all started talking. And “marcus”(the guy I like) was asking us if we had facebooks, we all said yes, and then I blurted out, “we’re already friends on there” and he said oh I didn’t know that. Well the next day I got on and chatted him, we talked for like 2 hours and exchanged numbers. He then told me he was going to bed, and to text him in the morning. So the next day I texted him no reply. This went on for two days. And then finally he texted me, and 10 minutes later he had to go. The next day I get on facebook to see that he has poked me. But still no texts. Then the next day he messages me on facebook saying that we need to hangout and that he wants me to come to his football game. Now, 2 days later, we’ve not talked since… I’m so confused.. HELP!

ReplyJuly 11, 2011, 2:37 am


Ok this is really complicated to explain but ill try… I knew this guy (lets call him james) like 5 years ago and we were in the same music class for a year or two. So i hadnt talked to him for like 4 years and this year me and my family and my friends and our whole branch of music were at a competition. So me and my friend (lets call her nora) were walking around and ended up in the music shop. So when we went in there was ‘james’ sitting in the middle playing an instrument and hes in noras music class last yearso we sat down with him. No big deal. Then we started talking and he remembered me and i definately remembered him. I was like joke flirting with him for the next while and until music broke for the summer. Then i wanted to text him so my friend (not nora so lets call her sophie) got his number for me. I texted him and he didnt reply for 2 weeks so i texted him again and he didnt reply so i said like you have no clue who this is do you and then he texted back but that was the end but i think he was really pissed at me for texting him even though i didnt say any thing that would really annoy him. I saw him yesterday and every time i looked at him and he was looking at me he looked all angry. So now i dont know what to do so thats why im asking a guy and i hope i can get some answers to why he is so angry at me :( please help because i like him a lot ;(

ReplyJuly 10, 2011, 4:49 pm


hey… i had been in a relation with a boy for 5 months and before that we were friends for 2 years then we broke up after one month he send me message that we need to talk so after two day we talked and we decided to stay friends as we both realize that we don’t love each other and i felt good but when we hang out with groups who are not our friends we act like lovers but when we hang out with our friends we act very strange and he keep talking to girls when am around but when am not near him he do the opposite( he don’t talk to girls !).. and also lately when i send him messages he don’t reply back and he know that when he don’t reply back it drives me crazy so why he wanted us to be friends if he can’t act like one ? and he is not dating anyone.

ReplyJuly 9, 2011, 11:47 am

Kanthan Jeevatharan

Hi Mirna,

It means that he still love you and probably he scared that you guys might end up in a problem again. Well as you said that he talks to girls a lot when u around and not when you are not, this is to create a bad inspiration on him so that you will hate him. I guess probably he needs you but he just scared. If you really loves him try to show him that you still have the feelings towards him or do something that could impress him. Show him that you will be there from him.

ReplyJuly 27, 2011, 11:45 pm

nina smith

I have just started talking to this guy and he seems to already have sum issues he asked me to borrow sum money and i did . Now he owes me he keeps making up excuses of y he cant meet up with me first it was his daughter then he jus never anwsered after that i dnt know wat to do i think that he had jus played me real good…………

ReplyJuly 9, 2011, 9:06 am


Theres this guy that has always been very quiet and SUCKS at texting back. He also rarely reaches out to me, I’m constantly planning our hang outs but he seems excited when I do. He claims it’s cuz he’s shy and a part of me thinks it’s b.s but then I remember how shy he rlly does seem a lot of times when we chill or when we first met. He treats me really nice, compliments me soo much, buys me stuff, holds doors for me but he gives a million excuses as to why he doesn’t wanna be boyfriend/girlfriend. I hate to admit it, but we started sleeping together too but I wonder if hes just lying about everything and he’s just not interested in me. I bet you guys are gonna say he’s just using me for sex… but we hangout without doing that too, he kisses me and stays tellin me how pretty I am.. B.S???

ReplyJuly 7, 2011, 10:49 pm


Ok so my boyfriend is an awesome guy but everytime i text him he never texes back!!!!!! When we first started dating he wud tht me like crazy but now its like he dosent want anything to do with me :( i dnt know if i shud dump him or not cuz i really love him and one day he said he was going bikeing with ALOT OF FRIENDS so im sitting there thinking is there going to be girls there????? So i dnt kno wat to do someone plz tell meeeeee!!!

ReplyJuly 7, 2011, 7:52 pm


My boyfriend broke up with me because he found a picture of a guy friend on my phone that my girlfriend sent me and i forgot to delete it but i didn’t want it on my phone, i don’t like my friend like that, and he said that we’ve been fighting lately. He said that time would be the best thing for us and that he wants to get back together and that he will always love me. Then he went to church camp and when he came back he said he made a promise to God that he wasn’t going to date for 6 months to a year to try to get closer to God, which i understand and im happy for him doing this. Lately he’s been ignoring me or been short with me and i found out that he’s been texting other girls. How do i make him want me again? I’m just afraid he’s going to move on and date another girl after those 6 months or whatever, but he said that he has a feeling that we will get back together. HELP!

ReplyJuly 7, 2011, 1:57 pm


So what Does it mean when your ex says we could possable think about getting back together but i wont promise you anything. Still learning this guy code. We are married still and been seprated for 8mths and he is seeing someone else. ..

ReplyJuly 7, 2011, 1:53 am


so last night i was talking to this guy i like on the phone, (he claims he likes me too, and wants to date me)
and i suffer from depression so i was crying on the phone and he was complimenting me but i kept ignoring/denying them.
eventually he said he was tired and got off the phone, and i texted him saying he sounded upset and he said he was cause i didn’t believe anything he said.
eventually he just said “fine i’ll stop :/”
i haven’t heard from him since.
that was at 2 am
its 10 pm now.
did i do something wrong?
is he mad at me?
done with me?

ReplyJuly 7, 2011, 1:17 am


When you start crying over nothing that is a big turn off to a guy. You need to learn to control your emotions or you are going to make him run the other way. He cares about you if he complimented you. You should apologize about the way you acted. He may think you are a bit on the psycho side

ReplyDecember 25, 2011, 5:08 am


ok me and this guy like each other alot and we both know it. we talk about almost everday, he takes naps during the day so we can talk all night but last night when i text him he was asleep and i felt bad so i decided the next day i would wait for him to text me first. i have waited all day and i still havent heard from him. but a few days ago he wasnt acting like his normal self, it really bothered me but i didnt say anything about it. is he trying to avoid me or does he need a break?

ReplyJuly 5, 2011, 6:40 pm


My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and he went to France for 5 weeks at the begining of summer. He was leaving the Friday that school ended, but he wasn’t there the last week due to packing and getting ready and things like that. He texted me the night before he left and told me ue was leaving the next day for 5 weeks. I asked him for his email or the address of his auntsl’s house where he was staying but he didn’t answer. I didn’t want to loose contact with him for 5 weeks. He never texted me back but i k ow that he would. He always does whenever he can. I sent him a text with my email and address of my house so that he could talk to me. It’s been about 3 weeks and he hasn’t emailed me or wrote me either. I’m wondering if he just didn’t get my texts of if he just doesn’t want to talk to me. It seemed like we were growing further appart the second to the last week of school. We had thing dance that was a major deal to everyone, we went together and danced and stuff but when it was over his parents showed up and he left. He only said ‘bye’ and gave me a hug… I don’t know if that means that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore or if we’re just going through some rough spots. And we’re also going to different high schools nextyear and everyone keeps telling me ‘why don’t you just break up with him already. Also everyone gives me crap about how much shorter he is then me, but that doesn’t bother either of us….. I’m just tired of people saying things…. Does anyone have any opinions on my situation? Or of what I should do? Please and thanks(:

ReplyJuly 5, 2011, 12:02 pm


I have a problem. Well see I like this guy and he says he likes me too. We use to talk everyday on fb and txting. But when i txt him now he wont even answer. I dont txt him everyday. But when i do he just doesnt txt back. He tells me its because he’s busy but i dont even know what to believe. He tells me that everytime he doesnt txt me back. The thin is when he gets on fb he has the nerve to talk to my friend Andre and not me. He told Andre that im on his mind sometimes everyday, and now i’m not so sure if he meant it. I dont even know what to think. So can anyone tell me what they think?

ReplyJuly 4, 2011, 9:08 pm


Ummm basically i like dis guy and we were flirtin for ages and den he started ignorin me! like wtf. :( So what happened???

ReplyJuly 4, 2011, 4:50 pm


He started liking some other girl and he didn’t want to tell you

ReplyJuly 6, 2011, 8:04 am


I meet this guy online we went on two dates and he seemed to really like me. So i decided to invite him over to my house for lunch. The day before i had text him to ask him if the plans were still happening and he said he will definitely come at the time we had agreed. On the day of the date he never came i text him to ask if he was still coming he never replied and i tried calling him twice he never answered his phone. I am confused, i don’t understand what is so hard about letting a person know that you cant make it.. Also he only ever texts me he never calls me , when he does text me and reply he wont text me back after that or he will text me a couple of times after and he goes quiet… Is he leading me on and making a fool of me.. I have never been stood up before and treated like this by a man…

ReplyJuly 3, 2011, 10:48 am


Ok I need help from all you girls! So I really lime this girl, we talk on the phone but whenevr I text her she takes forever like 3 hours to txt back and she always texts me to chill and I agree but then she never replies, so I guess these are signs she doesn’t like me but my question is how can I get her to like me based on this. Please help me!

ReplyJuly 2, 2011, 2:28 pm


My boyfriend hasnt been responding to any of my texts for a whole week. I really, really like him but Im now getting a feeling he doesnt want to be around/talk to me anymore. The last time we saw eachother, we had our first kiss. He tells me hes grounded so he cant go anywhere, but he goes to the skatepark everyday. I went to a party today & he was invited, but he said he was ‘grounded’. I asked my friend if she could text him & see if he would reply to her, & he did…… His ex girlfriend is probably talking behind my back to him.. Im extremely upset I dont know what to do about this. He still wont reply after I text him “Are you mad at me.. ?” He just.. Wont talk to me. I wont see him for about 2 months since its summer break. I dont want to last this whole summer without talking to him :(

ReplyJuly 2, 2011, 12:44 am


So i need some help. :( Anyone availble?

ReplyJune 30, 2011, 6:35 pm


What about when HE says HE doesn’t want to seem needy and backs away – then ultimately comes back. He’ll let me cook dinner for him once in a while, but then says he was gonna try to get out of it, because he doesn’t want to be needy. Or even giving him a back rub. It’s a yes/no struggle with him. Any words of wisdom?

ReplyJune 29, 2011, 9:34 am

Eric Charles

You wouldn’t believe me, but beneath the surface guys are WAY MORE neurotic about dating issues than women are these days.
On the surface, guys will act like they have it all figured out. But then that same guy will scurry home and search Google till 3 AM to try and figure out how to solve his dating problems…
I know because I work with guys too.
The thing is, this dude doesn’t even know what it is to “be needy”. He thinks that allowing a woman to do something for him or enjoying/appreciating something is needy behavior. Or he believes that letting you do things for him will make him appreciate you, and then he’ll become attached, and then he’ll become “needy”.
Here’s what neediness is: It’s NEEDING the other person to act or do something and if that other person doesn’t, then the “needy” person will get upset, freak out, etc.
The solution comes down to just being cool with the situation and handling it instead of being upset.
Then again, it could be that he doesn’t want YOU to become attached, so he keeps the relationship at arms length. Don’t know.
I would say just don’t do things for him and wait for him to come around. I mean, if doing things for him = him feeling “needy” (aka bad), then don’t do those things!!!
If you think he should like pizza, but he doesn’t… don’t try to force feed him pizza!
That’s my 2c.

ReplyJune 29, 2011, 4:04 pm


Okay, so here’s the short answer to my own question: he’s pushed everyone and everything that’s good, away from him (except his bar buddies). He’s very quickly become an alcoholic — or maybe always was and hid it well (I didn’t realize this until I woke up at 5am one morning and there he was sitting on the couch, drinking vodka). He is now always drunk, except when he’s at work. Anyway, he only texts me once or twice a week and asks for a back rub. But because it’s normally between 12 and 2 am (when I am asleep), I rarely text back.

ReplyOctober 9, 2011, 12:05 pm


so i am dating this nice cute boy and during our relationshit we always text when were not with eachother but today he hasnt texted me at all or answerd my texts! what does this mean ? please help

ReplyJune 28, 2011, 9:35 pm


so i met this guy and we text and we dont talk its just hey watr u doin then i say not much and then nothing what does that mean ?

ReplyJune 27, 2011, 11:57 pm


sooo. i’ve been talking to this guy for like 4 months now, and he’s been texting me everyday. we both told eachother that we like one another about 2 months ago. but just recently he kinda stopped texting me, and the other day i had to text him. and everything was fine, and we were flirting and what not, then i expected for him to text me the next morning and he hasn’t. and its been about three days now. what’s wrong!

ReplyJune 26, 2011, 5:27 pm


ok so even though im gay this still applies and id like some backup. I started talkin to this guy and we didnt talk much when we started talking. over the next few weeks we started gaining an attraction for each other. then after a month of talking to him, i finally got to meet him i stayed at his house and hung out for a few days. on the second he asked if i was his dude now and i said its a yes on my side and he said that made him really happy. i came back home a few days later so we wouldnt get tired of each other but most of the time im back i rarely hear from him. i txt him a few times a day to show im thinkin of him and he’ll send about 2 replies then i dont hear from him for 6 hrs or even the rest of the day. Then went back up there for 4 days and came back down and the same things happening. I know hes not cheating because hes a very bold straightforward guy and if u in my shows u would know too. its just the situation and i wish hed actually talk to me a lil more and show he cares but i know he has his own life and im not gonna try to force it on him. i guess u could say im scared of the result cause i dont wanna lose him. anyone got any tips?

ReplyJune 25, 2011, 9:41 pm


Please help me… me and my bf broke-up last june 21… his reason was there was an oppotunity that i need to prioritize.. and he said, he doesnt like my mom… yeah, my mom doesnt like him when we had a relationship because he is younger than me… but she liked her before we had a relationship… i loved him so much… i couldn’t ask for more… for the 1st months, we really click… i mean we had both chemistry… everyone noticed that too… i dont know why all of a sudden he changed his mind.. he tells everyone how serious he is to me… and now, he broke up…i really cant accept it… and now, he still makes some move to be close to me again… i dont know what his reason… he even complimented on how i looked… then asked me to go out with him… asked me when will i cook his fave food… he ask me if he can have my jacket, as a souvenir… he even wants to go to our house to watch dvds of our fave movies… he always make me smile… im confused of what he is doing… if only i can read his mind… please help me… :( ='(

ReplyJune 24, 2011, 10:16 pm


PLEASE, please, please answer this. I texted this guy I like and asked him if he wanted to go to the movies with me and a few friends, he agreed, but then he had to go to lax during the showtime so it didn’t work out. The next day I was with my best friend and we decided to hang with him, he txted me back right away and said he has lax again but really wants to hang out the next day.. That night, we txted from 11 a.m-11p.m straight…he told me about his dad dying and i told him some stuff and we ended on a good note.. The next day was the day he wanted to hang so he called me.. I missed his call, txted him asking if I should call him back right then and boom! never replied…i txted him that i was leaving to go out of town to a place we both moved from and no reply…I invited him to my party, we flirted alot and talked about music and what music makes us feel this way and that way and I txted him the next day and no replies!!!??? WHY?!?!? He is soo nice, too. My mom made food for everyone and she said he was the only guy who 1. said thank you, 2. threw his stuff away, and 3. said thanks for the whole party when he left! Soooo… tell me what you think!! ASAP please!!

ReplyJune 24, 2011, 11:08 am


Okay, I met this guy through my bestfriend and a guy I used to only talk to, a we weren’t really officially going out or anything. So me and this new guy started to talk, after many tries, I gave him my number finally. We started texting back and forth, talking till late night. Texting me goodmornings and goodnights, every night, for about 2 months. We even talked about personal stuff, he told me some stories of his. His regretion and mistakes he’s made in life and stuff like that, that brought us closer and gave as a sense that we can start trusting each other. He started talking about how things between me and him might work. The thing with me is that im really scared of commitment. Not that it’s a problem to me, but I feel like the guy be just a lier and trying to use me. I have this thing that it’s very hard for me to trust someone and rip my heart and hand it out to someone. It takes a lot of time for me to fall in love, and to say, I’ve never fallen in love. There was something we were talking about one day, these were the first couple of weeks we were talking and he told me as a joke “why are you playing hard to get,” he said it in a joke way, but I knew he was being honest. Ever since then we started tlaking more and more. Then all of a sudden, we stopped talking. He deleted me of facebook and lied to me how his phone fell in water. I texted him a week after we stopped talking, he told me to forget about him. I just played cool, trying not to make it look that Im clingy, so I told him what ever you wish. Then I never texted or tried talking to him every again. Then exactly after a month he re added me on facebook and texted me. He played dumb at first, thinking things will be cool. But I still remained mad, not because he stopped talking to me and deleted me on facebook and lied, but for having so much pride and not apologizing first when talking after a long time and thinking Ill be okay with it. I talked to him for a bit, and told him Im busy. Also to mention, he did apoloigize for being an ass, but I didnt feel it to be sincere. I also didn’t want to show I cared too much, so I just left it and hung up. When usually we would talk over stuff and issues we got. It’s not that Im playing hard to get, I just hate when people try to play games, and think they are okay with it. What do you guys think, is he trying to play games ? … because he seem intereted, and cared alot about me. But all of a sudden I don’t know why he changed.

ReplyJune 22, 2011, 8:29 pm


hey there…i need a serious help…well my story is bit long…i have been with this guy for 5 years now….its a long distance relationship…he lives in USA and i am in INDIA we started dating in 2007 but then we broke up in 2008 was him who broke up with me for no reason..he stopped talking to me, calling, texting me…i desperately tried to contact him but no response..then finally after 4/5 months i stopped calling/texting him…then few months he started calling me (blank calls). texting me asking how am i but he did that few times and he took prety much long time to send me the next text or call me next it kept going till May 2009…finally he texted me in august 2009 that he is coming to India then he dissapeared till he came here in sept. 2009 and called me to meet him…then we met and we again patched up…then we had a very smooth relation going till we decided to get engaged…his mom and sister were totally against it because they hate me…but he fought with them and decided not to marry anyone else except me..finally they had to agreee with last yr in sept he came here and we got engaged….then he left and we were very happy for one month….but suddenly things started to change…he started to act really weird with me..whenever we had fights he used to either tell him mom or sister to talk to me about it…his mom always insulted me..but then he again used to fix things and we always got normal…our fights increased after our engagement…but inspite of everything we loved each other…i know he loves me…but past few days he kept telling me he doesnt want to be with me and he has no reason for that…i called him but he refused to ans my call…he only texted i asked him to call me when he feels like..he said he last friday his sister gave birth to a boy and i texted him to congratulate and asked him to give his brother in laws number but he didnt reply to my text nor my calls…since that day i havent called or texted him nor did he….whats should i do now?? its hard for me to break up with him…i dont even know if he is going through any problem or not…he doesn’t call me anymore its been 5 days…i miss him a lot but then i thought this time i better let him take the first move since my birthday is on 25th june..but i have a feeling he might not call me…i wonder did he really break up with me??? please advice me something what should i do….

ReplyJune 21, 2011, 11:46 am


my bf n i having a LDRS. he lives in India n i’m in Indonesia. we met on facebook. it took months to build trust as we let each other know bot phone number. we’ve been together for about 6 months now. we talk mostly by facebook and talk by phone stimes. he always been so kind and sweet. we have a beautiful relation ship that grows from only friend to bestest friends then lovers. our love just happen naturally, he never proposed me but as we know that we love each other so much that’s enough. i love him so much. actually we have kinda backstreet relation ship. it’s just that not easy for us to tell publicly bot what we have now. only plenty of friends who know this. im so happy to be with him and he says so he does to me. as we are backstreet so when his friends tease him bot girl he uses to say that he’s single and not being into any girl at all. . i know it’s difficult to be open since maybe not everyone may understand the situation we are facing now but as a girl i feel so sad to know this. we just too aware of what people think bot an impossible LDRS, though i let my family know that i have a bf who lives abroad. and one thing i hardly understand bot him is why does he always let me be the first to take step every time we have fight or argument? i always be the first to mail him or calling him. i just dont think he’s as eager as i am to work on our relationship. these two days we are having argument and hardly talk. this afternoon i tried to send him mails that he didnt reply. i tried to call him too but it seemed that my phone call had been rejected then he switched off his cellphone. his acting frustrating me a lot of time and i really dont know what to do. we talk a lot bot probs we have, we try to fix mistakes we did but mostly of time i think it’s always me who try eagerly to discuss it. lately i feel smthing different about him thought he’s still nice and when i try to confront him about what happened he strikes me back as the prob came from me. sometimes i just think bot give up on him but i just too love him? distance seems too difficult to deal with a bad communication that we are having now. i’m so sad, what should i do??

ReplyJune 23, 2011, 9:44 am


I am having the same problem /: i have been dating this guy for a little over a year and things before seemed great, we were always happy, texting..etc. but nowadays he BARELY answers my messages. and when he does, we only text for maybe 10 minutes then he stops and never answers until i text him again. And whenever we’re at school he always picks to be with his friends and always talks to them and just ignores me when he’s around them. We barely hang out. the last time was maybe a month or two ago…and whenever i ask him to hang out he always rejects it at the last minute. it’s the most annoying thing. but he always reminds me that he cares about me but it never seems like he really does. what’s with him? please help :(

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 11:24 pm


sabreena dont be its happen to us all

ReplyJune 23, 2011, 5:59 am


I think he is either using you, or he wants to keep his single man status in-front of his friends, but i say talk to him face to face and give him his options. If not i guess you can chose to hang out with your friends and always cancel on him like he does you…

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:21 am


I am a 24 yr old guy and consider myself a technologist to the max. However there is one thing I will not do by text, and that is talk about relationships. Case in point a girl I had been dating for a month tells me via text message she doesn’t want a relationship anymore because she just got out of a three year relationship. I took her on at least three dates that cost in excess of $100, and believed things to be going well. She wanted to talk about it via text and I would absolutely not do it and tried to call her three or four times over the next week. All I got back were text messages. Finally I told her via text “call me when you want, I’m not doing this by text message.” I got a call a week later apologizing and what not, which I appreciated (although I still feel taken advantage of slightly).

The point of my story is text messaging has turned many people into cowards. It is not the proper medium through which to discuss relationships because you cannot convey feelings, tone, and context in 160 character messages. What you say is only about 20% of what matters in communication, how you say it is vastly important, as is body language.

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 10:57 pm


I have a problem. So I have a HUGE crush on this guy. Actually he hit on me first so I know he likes the way I look(: and okay, so he told me to text him so of course I started texting him. This guy is drop dead sexy. We started talking and we’ve been hangning out alot lately. And when I’m around him he acts like he really really likes me. Like he never pressures me to do anything. And so I know he just doesn’t want sex. And he texts me really sweet things all the time. But somtimes it’s hard to believe him because his dad was on TLC from being a three timer and litterally marring three girls at once. And now that I look on his facebook he flirts with every girl on facebbook!! I don’t know what to do help):

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 3:31 pm


i have a problem. okay so theres this guy who is just my type. sweet funny bad boy material ect. none of us had said that we like each other, but we both stare at each other. ( its a little weird )he will come up to me and be like nice shoes, then walk away. he will try to say something funny then look back at me to see if im laughing. we would watch a movie he came and sat next to me and committed on my hair. but when i would text him he would respond then no response after like 4 hours. can someone help me out please!!!

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 11:24 am


Okay so,I’m new to this school.There’s this guy who has been like kinda staring at me..In the starting,It was kinda awkward,but then I(just don’t know why) liked it when he looked at me. He’s in my english class to,so like he knows my all-time place,so he come’s and sits right behind me..Like every time…So like one day,His partner wasn’t there and neither was mine,so like we started talking. ”I” asked him for his number,he gave,then he told me to call him so that he could save my number too.I did.Then like we have been talking since yesterday and I like him.Don’t know if he likes me back! But I surely do.Recently,he’s started talking to this girl in our class named Allison..I feel insecure even though he hasn’t asked me out yet! Look, know that they are like good friends and I’m a new-admission(It’s been a month now),but I still want him to look at me,I liked it when he did…He now just look’s at her during class,not me anymore. I guess I want him now..Help me anyone?

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 5:50 am


Okay I need some advice.
So, there’s this guy I’ve been friends with for about a year and we’ve always been super close. He’s apparently liked me since the wintertime but I didn’t like him back then or know about his crush so nothing happened. We’d still talk on facebook like every day tho for a long time. We’d text all the time too and he’d invite me to hang out with him and his friends and stuff.
Then he got a really bad concussion and was totally out of it for probably about two months. (February/March) I still talked to him on facebook and texted him and stuff and he seemed normal. But since he came back he’s been acting a little more distant with me and not so open as he was before. We’re *really* good friends and I value his friendship a lot.

Apparently he still likes me, and I like him back now but he’s too scared to make the first move. He’s different now, too. I’m not sure exactly how different but he is. The thing that’s confusing me though, is that he’s *always* hanging out with other girls/more girls than guys. (He’s not a player, he just genuinely enjoys female company.)
When were at school and its just me and him then he acts like he likes me, but as soon as this other girl, Jenna, shows up he completely ignores me until shes gone. I don’t think he knows that he’s doing this, and lately our facebook conversations have been short-lived and awkward. I don’t know what to talk about with him anymore and I still like him. Last week our mutual friend sent me a text saying he was going to ask me out soon but he never did. Now school’s out and he’ll be leaving on vacation for the east coast soon and facebook is all we’ll have bc his cell phone won’t work over there. I don’t want to come off as awkward and clingy but we used to talk for hours on end about anything and now it just seems like he doesn’t care; which is *not* the signal I get from him face to face. Once a bunch of our friends were staying over at this one person’s house after a party and we stayed up talking (just the two of us) until 4 am. (Sober, and this was in April)

ReplyJune 18, 2011, 12:17 pm


Great advice, thx you.

ReplyJune 17, 2011, 10:59 am


Do guys act distant when they’re about to leave for a long time?

This guy that I’ve gotten deeply involved with is leaving to travel for a year (cross country on a motorcycle) this coming week. We’ve had an incredible time the past few months and my feelings have gotten really strong. He says that he really cares about me a lot and will always be there for me – he said this as he made me turn around to face him, looked me directly in the eye w/the most intense eye contact I’ve ever experienced and told me this. The past couple of weeks, he’s been acting kind of distant though.

First off – we’re kind of long distance right now (3 hours away) but we visit each other often (we both live at our parents’ house b/c of financial problems so we’ve met each other’s families as well). We’re NOT in a relationship and I know going into this he couldn’t commit or have anything serious (he doesn’t believe in LDRs b/c his love of his life ex cheated on him when it went long distance and she ended up marrying that guy). When we’re together, everything’s great. When we’re not together, (in the beginning), things were still great – he’d text me a lot (2 to 3 times a day), enthusiastic texts w/smileys and I’d never wonder where I stood with him. But now when we’re not together, he seems very distant and not as enthusiastic with his texts. He’ll still text me (not as much) and will still reply to my texts.

My question is – since he’s being so distant recently, why is it? Is his head just in a different place so much with this upcoming trip that he doesn’t even realize it? I know guys can be very one focused and they suck at multi-tasking like that. Could he be distancing himself from me since he is leaving? Or distancing himself to spare my feelings? Or do guys try to spare their own feelings by distancing themselves as well?

Please give me some insight into this situation!

ReplyJune 16, 2011, 2:50 pm


im dating a guy, his cute but he never texts me back when i text him. i ask him why he never replies he says his busy at work etc… the thing that burns me is that he always has time to go on faceook and chat to girls but dosnt have the time to text me.

i met him the other day and we had a very fun time but after we finished he didnt text me or call me at all. now duno wat to do… i cant stop thinking about him i ador him to much.

what should i do???

ReplyJune 15, 2011, 5:41 am


Well Molly wat I wud do is go flirt wit all his friends rite in front of him this will make him relize he’s losing u and if he really likes u then he’ll talk and text u more

ReplyJune 16, 2011, 8:23 am


so i recently just hooked up with this boy and i thought it went well (except that fact he was too drunk to finish..) but he texted me apologizing for being to drunk and that he wanted to hangout but when i text him back the next day I get no reply. Whats the deal? Im not one to be clingy and double text. why wouldnt he respond?

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 8:29 pm


I have had this crush for a trimester at school. He came to my class room often ( I worked in the school liabary) and we would chat and laugh and he always promised he would come back soon and he did he was in the liabary with me 2 or 3 times a week. But then he stopeed coming in and my teacher in my other class would let us choose which lunch we went to and most of my friends were in the same lunch as him so we always talked then too. And now its summer I saw him every Sat when I went to town to get supplies for my Open house and he always took the cart from my parents but never any other carts around. I texted one of our mutual frineds and she said that he knows I like him but she didnt know if he liked me back. I have messaged him onilne a few times but he has never answered but when i saw him at his work he would answer any questions from online or chat about what I wrote to him. Ive asked for his number to text him but I didnt see him after i asked for it online. what should i do?? any advice

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 10:42 am


let him come to you. the ball is in his court now. just wait it out

ReplyJune 15, 2011, 12:08 am


I just heard from the mutual friend now that he is a man whore and only uses girls. Im not sure if I believe them though. :(

ReplyJune 15, 2011, 1:12 pm


dude only belive in god

ReplyJune 23, 2011, 5:56 am


@ Eric:
Thanks for the reply. I understand what you are saying. The thing is, technology is too advanced for anyone not to answer their phones these days. It would be different if we were living in the beeper days where they had to find a friend’s phone, or a payphone. Most people have cell phones and texting capabilities. My whole point is, there has to be a way for someone to call the other person back or text them and let them know. Yes you are right, no one is perfect. I have been in this situation but if I call a man and he doesn’t call back I just leave him alone either for a while because he has things in his life to sort out, or let him be. Real case scenario: I called a guy but he would always tell me he was busy. I said OK. He would never answer my calls nor texts. Didn’t get upset-I left him alone. Two weeks later he sends some multimedia message (those chain e-mails) to myself and like 7 other people. I’m like “really?” and just didn’t open it. Another week went by and he finally called, wonder why IIIIIIIIII haven’t called him-and he was upset about it. I’m thinking to myself “……..wait, what? Are you serious?” I told him that he has a cell phone just like I do; told him that I called, he didn’t answer, I didn’t know what to think and so I left him alone. He was really upset about it. I am a big fan of communication; I know if someone tried to get in contact with me I would at least call and just say “hey, I’ve been busy but I will get back with you when I can.” That took a few seconds. In some cases, texting takes longer. We can all be complicated at times. Thanks for the message; may have to come here more often to ask man questions (lol).

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 7:45 am

Eric Charles

You are right: Technology is not what’s preventing men from answering your texts…
Doesn’t matter if you think it’s “easy” for another person to text you back. Doesn’t matter if you think the other person “should” text you back. People are going to do as people do, and I *promise* you that if you want to be angry about what people do you’ll find an infinite number of reasons why people make you angry…
… you could accept people as they are, stop choosing anger and blame as your response and choose to be happy, forgiving of people and appreciate the infinite reasons why men and women in the world are great.
Happiness in anywhere in your life is your choice and your responsibility.

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 1:36 pm


Good info. Thanks, Eric.

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 6:26 pm


dude guys are cute but never do that.

ReplyJune 23, 2011, 5:53 am


@ Eric. I am loving your responses!

ReplyJuly 4, 2011, 9:37 am


Here are reasons why the author would go MIA on a text message (and here are some solutions, in MY opinion):

1) If I wasn’t that into her. (how about just telling her; you are hurting her more and leading her on)
2) If I was really busy with work. (again, just let her know you were busy with work. You don’t have to go into detail; it’s none of her business)
3) If the girl was being needy. (…again, honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts)
4) If I honestly did not have me phone near me. (understood)
5) If I’m with another girl (note: If I’m in a relationship it’s monogamous, I never cheat, but if not dating around is fair game.) (tell her)

I don’t understand why men have to find the easy way out of things. I mean, I am not bashing the author, but giving reasons as to why he doesn’t text back (and other men as well) just shows how much of a wuss they really are. Some men are quick to talk so much s*** about how much of a man they are, how strong they are, but when it comes to a simple text or a phone call, all of a sudden there is some article stating WHY they don’t return the communication. Eric Charles, I am by no means bashing you, but I don’t get it. Really. Yes all men are different but it seems as if people get online and make excuses for their actions. It’s the same for women as well.

ReplyJune 13, 2011, 9:44 pm

Eric Charles

@Kimmie – I get that you’re not bashing me and I understand how frustrating it can be.
But think about this: Thinking about what other people (men or women) *should* be doing seldom leads to a happy place (I want to say it never leads to a good place, but maybe there’s some example where it does… I don’t know.)
Ultimately you can’t control other people – you can only control yourself (that is, your actions and your reactions to things). Saying that guys are wusses or that guys should do something will just make you angry.
You might not like what some people do or how they do it, but guess what: not everyone is out to do things that please you. For some people, it’s not even a consideration.
Personally… I do text girls back and I’m honest about where my head is at in a relationship. But I try my best to be considerate and I learned many lessons by making tons of mistakes along the way. People are human – who they are today isn’t necessarily who they’ll be tomorrow. If you can forgive people and allow them time to grow, I think you’ll find that life is better (not always easy to do though).
P.S. Honestly, I would be pretty mean if I didn’t text girls back… 250 comments and counting is a good hint to me that girls like to get texts back.

ReplyJune 14, 2011, 12:37 am



Ive been seeing my FWB for 2years now on and off. We get on really well and recently found ourselves meeting up for just drinks or a meal. He became obbessed with coming over my house for the night so we had arranged on it and then he vanished for three weeks. He had finally texted me back a few days ago saying he was sorry he got scared that we were going deep and he shut off, now feels like a dick, as im Great!

We meet up that evening and he took me back to his house (he still lives with his parents) we talked and I said stop being so stupid im not ready for a realtionship yet either and dont do that again …communication is the key!. We ended up having sex again he didnt want me to leave his house but i insisted on leaving, as he’s working really long hours at the moment.

I havent heard anything from him since, he agreed he wouldnt ever get scared off again??? We meet on an online dating site, and now ive seen him actively on one again over the weekend.

Is this a lost cause? or am i being stupid ? I do really like him and think Ive fallen for him but i wont tell him that till hes more consistant. what do i do, please help me :-(

ReplySeptember 11, 2011, 8:39 am


So true Eric. This is the first time I sign in to your discussion forum. Thank you for allow us to vent here and get your honest opinion. What I value the most in a person is honesty. No matter how harsh.
I have a question for you. I know you have lots of question. I just hope I can hear back from you on this :) First I never though I will be asking this question here. I being married for 16 years I have two kids. Long history, I’m separated. I met this guy at a company event at a hotel bar. He was there for a convention. We talked at the bar, he was very polite and we had a great conversation. When I left the bar someone he left with me and followed me to my hotel room. I honestly don’t know how that happen. Anyway. I was so tired I laid down on the bed. He just looked around an talked a lot about him and his family. We hold hands for a little bit, don’t know how we got there either :) long history. after like 2 hours of pure talking he said he had to leave and I didn’t even responded. We didn’t exchange numbers. I had met some of his female friends at the bar as well. I texted her the next day to let her know it was nice meeting her and that if she could let him know he forgot his conference agenda. I told her to give him my number. He never texted me. A couple of days later I found him on Facebook and requested him to add me. He accepted a couple of days after. I then send him a Facebook chat, thinking he was online. I said. Hi how are you? He didn’t replied. I’m not so good with Facebook chat. Usually I receive chats message so I had not idea when someone is online or not. I asked my cousin and he said he was online. So I said. How was your conference? he never replied. Has being 2 months and no replied. After that second chat I stop trying to contact him. I really enjoyed our conversation. I though he was so nice and respectful, a true gentleman. So I wanted to get to know him better as a friend, since he lives in another state anyway. How can I approached him to make him want to get to know me better. I figure I will give him time, since he probably is trying to get to know a little more about me by what I post. I usually never pursue man or even approached. I had always being confident and had luck with man approaching me. Of course they only man in my life for 16 years was my husband. I feel I had no idea now how to date now or start a relationship. Thank you for your though and response in advance. Excuses my misspellings :)

ReplyJuly 11, 2014, 3:02 pm


gota new problem, so I gota bf and now Im starting to see him only as a friend, but i dont wanna break his heart so i’ve been kinda avioding him, you know?? Now i spent the night at my bestfriends hose and she has a 16 old bro(im 15), cute funny, blah and blah. all the old stuff. woke up this morining pj’s on(short shorts and a t) NO makeup and my hair was not it best looking, he walked in and looked at me and…smiled, so i smiled back. we all went to go eat breakfast i left the room and when I came back my friend whispered to me that HE thinks IM hot, i was flattered. lol. and now the major downer…he has a gf…anyone wanna help meh out??:/

ReplyJune 13, 2011, 12:24 am


This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.
What you say at the conclusion of your sentence “Don’t bend over backwards for someone who won’t even press a send key for you” conflicts with all that you’ve said.
A girlfriend shouldn’t have to pretend to careless for her boyfriend just because the boyfriend is to child-like to deal with what it really is to be in a relationship.
You are mostly writing through your opinion and not from the opinion of most other men; because i know for sure through previous relationships that all (or even most) men are not like that.

ReplyJune 12, 2011, 3:52 am

Eric Charles

Is that so?

ReplyJune 12, 2011, 12:04 pm


i happen to think eric is pretty spot on with everything… i wish i was born with this knowledge! its not about pretending to be careless,i think its about actually going out and getting your own life so you dont rely on other people all the time. and if my boyfriend was too “child like” then i wouldnt want to be with him anyway

ReplyJune 12, 2011, 12:16 pm


wow hey guys! I have a similar dilemma .. there’s this boy whom I only met two weeks ago.. I met him on facebook ! haha I know stranger danger but we had two mutual friends and I added him thinking he was a doctor whom I worked with but it ended up being a MBA student.. we spoke on facebook (private message) and then after three days he asked me for my number and I have never given my contact details to any stranger online and I was freaking out but for some reason i felt as though I could trust him and so we started text messaging for the next three days (NON STOP!) and if I was the one to reply last he would wake up in the morning and sometime during the day he would text me from work and apologize for falling asleep!
then three days after texting like maniacs he decided to see me in person and I said no the first time he asked then I finally said yes the next day but I made sure I met him at Uni so that people are around and i’l be safe but I wasn’t scared at all..
so I met him and when we walked up to each other I waved at him and generally you could give a peck on the cheek or a friendly hug or what not but in our case this didn’t happen and I liked that!
it was freezing and so we sat in his car and spoke for two hours non stop .. about random things and he told me all about his family back in his country and about his two exs .. On facebook his status says “in a relationship” and when he asked me if I was in a relationship I responded no and I asked him and he laughed and said ” No it’s on facebook as a joke”!.. apparently he broke up with his ex in December last year as she was using him for money!

during our conversation in the car he answered few phone calls in his car but apparently his work rang and took this phone call outside his car and apologized to me.. later he told me it was his accountant and he didn’t pay staff right etc etc and how much work he had to do because of it because his the manager!
it was raining and he said he will drop me to my car and I said no its ok i’l walk I like rain. and he got out of the car and walked me to my car in the rain …a stranger doing that was amazing and then he just said bye and no hug no kiss so I decided to just give sort of like a half hug and then I sat in my car and I get a text saying “drive safely ”

then we messaged normal and next day he finished work at like 8:30 at night and was insisting to see me again and was willing to drive after working 11 hours ..we planned to meet the next day.. and he asked where I’d want to meet him and I said I don’t mind wherever and he said “my house?”

so I said yes and he lives with his room mates in an apartment.. I finished work and I’m a type of person that takes something with me to peoples houses so I took dessert (cream rice) because I didn’t know whether he drank wine..

I went to his apartment his mates were there but I did not see them he took me to his room as his mates were praying..
then we sat on his bed and watched
a movie and we spoke and laughed .. then he gave me his pillow and made sure I was comfortable .. he answered some calls (work) whilst being in his room and two outside his room.. he then opened the dessert got a plate and two spoons and was forcing me to also eat but I didn’t and then he fed me with his spoon :) was cute

later on he had to go to work because they needed him to do some stuff and so I said i’l go home and he said he didn’t want me too.. so he asked if I wanted to stay and wait or go with him and wait in the car..

I went with him & he parked his car and told me he will be back In 15mins.. being a girl I wasn’t going to sit and stare at the windscreen so I decided to look around …

*BOOM* I find a bag on his back seat and I was freaked out to open it so I rang my mate and he told me to open it but I was scared because his car was tinted to the Max so there was no way of knowing if his outside.. so I quickly got the bag and there was two zippers and I opened the first zipper and it was PACKED with makeup like nail polish.. who carries that in their little bag.. *weird*

my mate told me to confront him when he comes back and i didn’t because I only knew the guy for a week .. what right do I have to ask him that! while I was in the car he messaged me and apologized because he had to drive all the way to the city .. so he drove me back and went upstairs to get my bag then he dropped me to my car .. he asked me three times when we are meeting up again and I said let me know.. he got out and dropped me to my car door even though his car was half a metre away from it. this time he hugged me and told me to message him when I’m home safe!
so I went home and texted him and he never responded.. next day no reply no messages!
I messaged him at night and he said sorry I was busy all day with friends, how was your day?
I replied and he never replied and for the next one week I’d send him a message and he would reply hours later and tell me how extremely busy he is and then when I reply to his message he would either message back once only or not message back at all!

so I decided to leave it and didn’t message for two days .. then he was on facebook chat and I didn’t talk to him and he started initiating a convo asking me how iam and how he misses me and how his sorry he was busy with work and shit..I replied and he never responded then I left it for one whole day then messaged a day after and he responded and spoke for the next 3 or 4 messages and then *boom* no reply so I messaged and said hey hope work was good can I ask you something?

Now if someone texts you that you immediately want to know what it is right? and what do you know he doesn’t reply so I was over it i told myself I won’t make an effort anymore ..
anyways then next day I get a message from him and this is the first text message that he sent me First since the last time I saw him because usually for the past one week I initiated the convo.. and this message said ” Hey Madeline how are you? I have a favour if someone calls you and asks you about me can you not tell them anything ok.. ”

I nearly fainted when I saw that.. I didn’t message for like hours because everyone told me to forget it and move on but deep down I wanted to know what happen..
so I messaged and said “oh why would someone call me regarding You! so do you want me to pretend I don’t know you at all or that I don’t know what I do know about you.. why do I get this feeling you want to tell me something but your not able too”

he replies two hours later saying:
“no no don’t say anything.. if someone calls just say I don’t know you so why should I talk to you or tell you anything! hahaha why do you have that feeling, what do you think I’m not telling you”

and I just replied ” Ok!”

so that’s my story .. sorry it’s so long! I’m just twisted as to how he can be so nice and act like a gentleman and have moral ways and not once cross his line yet I get this message from him :(

what should I do ? never talk to him again or wait till he messages one day!
I don’t hate him and I’m curious like if he did have a gf and he was just playing around then he would meet me at odd place not his house …


ReplyJune 8, 2011, 8:17 pm


Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about five months now, Im 15 and he is 16. We used to talk 24/7, both calling and texting, He lives with his mom ussaly, but when he moved to go live with his dad, which is 3 hours away. He doesn’t text me that much. I understand because he says he is working. For the next two weeks he moved back to the town he used to live in ( I live in that town too) but he doesn’t text me much anymore, I mean I’ll get a couple text threw the day, but no real talking, He ussaly text me at midnight or sometime around in the really early morning ( like 1-3 AM) and im never awake at that time. Im really worried… and i just dont know what to do, I mean I know he wouldnt be cheating on me, he isnt that kind of guy.. idk what to do. help!

ReplyJune 7, 2011, 9:23 am


are you texting him alot and acting a bit needy? if you are then id suggest backing off for a bit n see how he reacts, if he doesnt, then perhaps its time to call it a day, some relationships just dont work and its kinda tough but thats life unfortunately :( theres no sure-fire ways that will force someone to want you (how annoying?) hope that helps xx

ReplyJune 8, 2011, 1:26 pm

harman kaur

my boyfriend..once was my best friend….in the starting of our relation we both were very happy .. we both used to talk a lot with each other … but suddenly his behaviour changed and he started ignoring me….i used to call him and he used to cut the call or did not pick up the call…sometimes when he picked up my call then he said that he’s busy and will cal back after sometime..but never called back…..and then it became too much…..he ignored me like m invisible for him….so one day i had send him a message about that but he did not reply me back..i waited for a long time ang then checked his id….he had talked to his other friends but not replied to my messages..then we both had a break up…but i really love him and can do anything for him….i want him back…please can any1 tell me that what should i do..??

ReplyJune 2, 2011, 11:49 am


Wow your situation seems bad, I would try telling him how you feel, see how he feels and see if there is a way you two could work this out

ReplyJune 7, 2011, 10:28 am


i really think this is a toxic relationship you might want to leave as is. I think you should not go back to him, and in the status you are in i think you need to build yourself to your strongest then see if you really want this guy because he sounds like he’s not a very good person. I say step back from the situation examine it, dissect it then come with a conclusion. Most likely you will realize you are better off without him.

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:40 am


Hey I need advice. Ok so just now I messaged the guy I liked on facebook, but he didnt reply. Matter a fact that green button that signafies that ur online turned clear. What does that mean? Anyway, exactly said this: Uhh hey yea today was kinda weird so yea srry.” I agree that that does sound stupid, but I was only saying srry because earlier today in school he figured out that I liked him, and one of his friends asked if I spread a rumor saying he likes me, and almost everyone knows. So it totally got outta hand. So what should I do? Should I confront him and talk to him cause im not afraid to do that ever since I sent him that message. Please please PLEASE. I really like this guy, so I need some advice major quick.

ReplyMay 31, 2011, 8:10 pm


Hey just talk to him in person and apologize and tell him whether or not you truly tarted the rumor. The don’t bug him to talk to you. Maybe smile when he walks by or make light chit charcot he happens to be around an she where is goes from there. Tell me I this works!!! I know guys can be rele annoying!!!0

ReplyJune 12, 2011, 10:09 am


men r stupid, but then again so are we, if we suddenly didnt text them or call them back do you think theyd be wondering whats going on?! or checking their phone every 3 and a half seconds? unlikely =/

ReplyMay 28, 2011, 3:07 pm


ok so me and this guy have been talking over facebook for around 3 months. Finally i gave him my number and he called me, before that we text and spoke. But after he called me he told me ok so ill call u tomorow ok and i said yer thats fine. We shut. So the next day he never text back its been three days what does this mean?

ReplyMay 28, 2011, 12:14 am

Green Eyez

First off all its not safe to give your info to someone on Facebook do you know the guy from somewhere else? I don’t know exactly what it means my guess would be the same lame excuse that they use that they need time or he’s just busy. Also depends on what your conversation was you know how guys get scared of serious relationships easy.

ReplyMay 30, 2011, 10:54 am

Suman Sahu

If you see him online the next time on facebook, ask him why he doesn’t text you any more and what has really happened.

ReplyJune 10, 2011, 7:49 pm


why r guys stupid

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 2:45 pm


well the boy i like is my ex and he told my friend that he still loves me and so on and he gave my his phone number and he hasnt text me back and now i feel empty :(

ReplyMay 31, 2011, 1:33 pm


well i deleted his number when we broke up and he gave it to my friend and gave it to me.

ReplyMay 31, 2011, 1:35 pm


my boyfriend says he loves me and idk what to think and when his friends hit on me he dont care idk if i should belilve what he says….plus my friends say i am to good for him and to just move on to sum 1 diffrent for a change ….sum one help idk what to think

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 2:37 pm


Nikki: I only read bits of your incredibly long post :p what I think is….
You sound a lot like me, I always get caught up between multiple men and you THINK you love them both/all
But as u said urself if u truely love someone u don’t go flirting and arsing round other people
But that’s exactly what ur doing, u can’t truely love the one if your still seeing the other
I was seeing 3 men when I met my current bf and I knew straight away so I called it off with the others!
So basically – do what makes u happy, ul meet someone soon enough who will treat u right and vice versa :)

Laura-sorry I’m not at school so I don’t know how it works :p

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 11:02 am


Ok, so, There’s this guy at my school, and he hugs these other girls, and then me. He hugs the other girls A LOT, and then ME a lot, and then one day, after we texted a lot, he stopped texting me, and talking to me, and hugging me. I really like him. EVERYONE likes him… but I just can’t get OVER him! I ask his friends if he likes me, and they say no.


ReplyJune 4, 2011, 3:55 am


My Boyfriend Is The Sweeest Guy When It’s Just Us Two.But We Go To TheSame School&He Kinda Ignores Me In The Hall SomeTmes Or When He’s With His Frends&It Makes Me Mad.He Says He Loves Me,But iDont Know Wheater Or Not To Blieve It .Why If He Really Cared Why Doesn’t He Igknowlegde Me ?/: Help ?

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 10:52 am

Green Eyez

Laura u didn’t mention if you have talked to him about it cause let me say one thing I know that guys aren’t like girls that we can basically tell what each other is thinking without saying one word so make sure you talk to him about. My fiance once my boyfriend didn’t even hold my hand or hug me in front of people I started thinking he didn’t love me or even like me but i talked to him about it and he changed completely on that aspect. He is very shy and since his previously other girlfriends didn’t ever do that such as hugging n holding hands he didn’t think that was necessary with me. My point is that in a relationship its important to have communication. Make sure your not becoming to bossy like wanting him with you all the time because instead of having him more with you the more u will pull him away from u. I hoped this helped if u need more help let me know I would love to help you out :) good luck!

ReplyMay 30, 2011, 10:49 am

Suman Sahu

As Green Eyez mentioned here that guys can be shy as you girls. May be he doesn’t want his relation to be revealed in front of his friends that’s why he tries to avoid you at times. Try and talk with him if this is what bothers him from talking to you. Good luck my friend. :-)

ReplyJune 10, 2011, 7:37 pm


well, my brother did the same thing to his girlfriend. but then they would hang out together on the weekends and stuff. once it became a little serious, he would talk and do all that stuff at school. so i think its just a matter of time to find out.

ReplyJune 20, 2011, 11:17 am


Okay, so I am dating this guy, hes sweet, cute, funny, ect. I love him, but he doesn’t always treat me right.. He flirts with other girls and totally likes my best friends, I mean I tell him alllll the I hate it,and its completely stupid when he says he loves me, thwm cany leave them alone.. I mean if you truly love someone, keep your tounge in your mouth when it comes to other people, right? and to all you guys who say stupidity as if uo need space or we are needy things like that, no, we are all humans, there is no excuse for nonsence. I mean if we did the same stuff to you, youd flip shizz. Anyway, back to my point, not only do I love the boy but I finally got sick of him being dumb after almost a year.. I met this boy at a carnival during summer break, and I totally knew he liked me, because, well I dont like to say things like this, but I know what i look like, and lots of guys like me, I can tell when they do and dont, and I have never been wrong about it. Anyways, I thought he was one of my friends brothers the whole time or I probably wouldnt have talked to him, but he kept flirting the whole night, I knew I had a boy friend so I shouldnt flirt back but well my boyfriend did it right in front of me and he wanst around so.. what the heyy, is what I thought and started flirting back, but barley.. I liled the boy a lott though.. After that night I didnt see the boy anymore, but a few months later, I texted him for one of my friends to find out why he broke up with her (she gave me his number) this was still over the summer like the last month, but I text him and he told me he just didnt like her, and then we started talking for a lonnggg time like we would text each other nonstop, and he started calling me even, my boyfriend didnt even do that. So i enjoyed it. i started liking him more and more and develiping feelings for him.. Kinda like I had my boyfriend,.. I hadnt seen my boyfriend hardly all summer so I guess that made our relationship a little difficult.. but then I broke up with him and dated the other because he was everything I wanted and treated me like a princess.. but we broke up and we dated off and on a while, then I finally went back to my old boyfriend, because I couldnt get over him, thing is still couldnt get over the other boy either.. so here we are a year later from that sumer, and I have dated both boys on and off and I love them both to death.. Thing is, the both love me too.. And I still talk to both of them… so can somone or many people give me advice on what is going on?? I need help, pleasee.

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 8:49 am


Well I think you should focus more on you. I know from experience its hard to do that when it comes to boys. And I too have been in similar situations. But I think you should do things that you want to do. Like live your life as it is without the boys. I could be wrong but I sense from your message that you seem to only value yourself when it comes to being with a guy. I also do not think that you love any of these guys truly. And maybe if you concentrated more on getting intouch with who you are and making yourself a better person someone better will come along. Just letting you know from my experience I wasted alot of times on guys that I thought I was inlove with. When the truth was I was inlove with the feeling that each guy gave me at different moments in my life. You should focus on making yourself a better person. From your writing you seem quite young. You might hate my response when you get it but over your years you will appreciate it. So focus on improving your writing, working out, learning something new, reading, going to college, finding a career focus, becoming a better and more classy/independent woman. And I know you are beautiful, thus you will always have men falling in love with you.

ReplyJune 19, 2011, 10:20 pm


Maya is soo right, I have been in this same situation and if i had listened when my mom gave me the same advice Maya has given, i may have been able to change a lot of things. Well one thing I can testify to is that, you may ignore this advice now but this situation your in can become a long and painful pattern (I should know). It has been three years since my mom gave me that advice but as I write this at this moment i can sincerely say am back in that position and this time I am going with what Maya has written.

ReplyJune 28, 2011, 3:52 pm


Okay, so I am dating this guy, hes sweet, cute, funny, ect. I love him, but he doesn’t always treat me right.. He flirts with other girls and totally likes my best friends, I mean I tell him alllll the I hate it,and its completely stupid when he says he loves me, thwm cany leave them alone.. I mean if you truly love someone, keep your tounge in your mouth when it comes to other people, right? and to all you guys who say stupidity as if you need space or we are needy things like that, no, we are all humans, there is no excuse for nonsence. I mean if we did the same stuff to you, youd flip shizz. Anyway, back to my point, not only do I love the boy but I finally got sick of him being dumb after almost a year.. I met this boy at a carnival during summer break, and I totally knew he liked me, because, well I dont like to say things like this, but I know what i look like, and lots of guys like me, I can tell when they do and dont, and I have never been wrong about it. Anyways, I thought he was one of my friends brothers the whole time or I probably wouldnt have talked to him, but he kept flirting the whole night, I knew I had a boy friend so I shouldnt flirt back but well my boyfriend did it right in front of me and he wanst around so.. what the heyy, is what I thought and started flirting back, but barley.. I liled the boy a lott though.. After that night I didnt see the boy anymore, but a few months later, I texted him for one of my friends to find out why he broke up with her (she gave me his number) this was still over the summer like the last month, but I text him and he told me he just didnt like her, and then we started talking for a lonnggg time like we would text each other nonstop, and he started calling me even, my boyfriend didnt even do that. So i enjoyed it. i started liking him more and more and develiping feelings for him.. Kinda like I had my boyfriend,.. I hadnt seen my boyfriend hardly all summer so I guess that made our relationship a little difficult.. but then I broke up with him and dated the other because he was everything I wanted and treated me like a princess.. but we broke up and we dated off and on a while, then I finally went back to my old boyfriend, because I couldnt get over him, thing is still couldnt get over the other boy either.. so here we are a year later from that sumer, and I have dated both boys on and off and I love them both to death.. Thing is, the both love me too.. And I still talk to both of them… so can somone or many people give me advice on what is going on?? I need help, pleasee.

ReplyMay 27, 2011, 8:48 am


I am trying to chat one girl but see not responding from last one week then what to do any solution

ReplyMay 24, 2011, 1:25 pm

Suman Sahu

Do that girl know you personally ? Hope you are not texting her being a stranger.

ReplyJune 10, 2011, 7:30 pm


Hi, I really need some advice. There was this boy that i have known for a long time and after so long he finally decides to make a move. He kissed me at a party but the problem at the time was that he has a girlfriend. Even though he had a girlfriend i was still talking to him( i am not a home wrecker). We had stopped talking becuase i did not want to be his “toy”. He and his girlfriend are broken up now but they talk on and off. And now he is currently talking to her again. I really like this dude and i want to call him and talk to him but i am afriad that he might just “toy with me” again. I am the kind of person that people call complicated. I do not liek to show my emotions or feelings. Shoudl i call him? And if i shoudl then how should i approach him??

ReplyMay 23, 2011, 4:02 pm


Hi, so I need some help…theres a guy at my school, in my same grade(8th) and I’ve liked him for 3 years now, we dated once in 6th grade. I was his first girlfriend. Now, dont get me wrong, we talk alot at school, but whenever I txt him, he doesnt txt back…but the way he starts acting when I’m around him, you’d think he likes me. There is only 10 days left of school and I really wanna go out with him, what should I do???

ReplyMay 23, 2011, 2:49 pm

Suman Sahu

Ask him out if he could too make out for the dating. If he agrees you can meet once again.

ReplyJune 10, 2011, 7:26 pm


Agree with Cecilia on this one, dating men who are unavailable is a very bad idea, i tried and failed at it… men VERY rarely leave their girlfriends let alone their wives, back out immediately! if he really wants you then he’ll see that he needs to leave his wife! =)

also men who take ages to text back do my head in! and i always manage to find and like the ones who do it, you just gotta kinda forget about it, they will text you back eventually and if not then stuff em!!! theres plenty more fish =)


ReplyMay 19, 2011, 1:34 pm


Being invoved with someone which is not emotionally available is always a bad situation. I think you need to remove yourself from the situation and find a single man. You dont want to get involved with a married man which can not only ruin your life but also his families.

ReplyMay 18, 2011, 9:58 am


I met this guy who was new and more senior at my workplace. we became friends at first and kept loosing contact on and off and eventually when we met we went intimate in two occasion. The guy has been avoiding me, when i call he says he will call back which he never. I like him so much although he is married. I feel so uncomfortable and however much i try to avoid calling or texting i just cant avoid it what do i do?

ReplyMay 18, 2011, 9:16 am

stephanie i started seeing this guy who is 26 and im 20 and we went on a couple of dates and i started liking him and such but we hooked up too soon too quick he still wants to see me but doesnt know if he wants a girlfriend or not..soo im all confused in what ii should too make him see that a girlfriend could be a good idea.. or something like that ??

ReplyMay 17, 2011, 12:46 pm


The hell? Why is it if a man asks you to contact him in a timely fashion he’s just stating what he expects but if a woman does it, its neediness?


Asking someone to reply to you in a timely fashion especially if you are in a relationship is not being needy, its called being courteous. No one expects someone to high jump at a text, but leaving someone hanging for days on end is ridiculous, especially if you’ve been seeing one another for a while.

ReplyMay 16, 2011, 11:24 pm


Yah, if I guy you’re with a while, consistenly doesn’t text you back ladies/gay men, be sure to call him out on it. If you rejects you for being needy, despite what the article says, he was never the right guy anyway ! Its not “needy” to want to be prioritized and treated with respect. Everyone knows its hurtful to be ignored, he knows this too, he’s just being selfish and self-centered. And, what, it takes like all of 15 seconds to send a text, how hard can that be, right ? Yah, don’t agree, call him out, see if its simply a communication issue, or he’s just not into you issue, either way, he’s a big selfish jerk for treating you this way regardless !!!

ReplyMay 13, 2011, 12:46 am


i met this guy last summer during a summer school session i took.
he would always look at me in class and i caught his glance,
and the day we actually started talking, he asked for my # so i wrote it on
paper, and later that night he texted me, asnd it was a really nice conversation,
until after an hour of talking, he called me and we talked for about 30 minutes.
i think we just clicked..
we talked everday and it was obvious that we were really compatible,
but after summer school ended, he didnt text or call me as much,
i was guessing it was because he didnt see me everday anymore..
so a few weeks after we just lost touch.i still thought about him from time to time but was way too scared to contact him, until about a month ago i just texted him one day, asking how he was, and then it went on from there, then all of a sudden he sends me a random, and weird text..asking for $20…..haha, i knew this guy was in a gang so i thought it was some kind of trouble he was in and it could have been a death guess was the same day he came to see me and we hung out for a little bit before he had to hurry and leave, being around him again made me feel that warm familiar sensation in my chest from back when we just met.and then the next morning he texts me saying how much he appreciates what i did for him,and that most ppl wouldnt care.after that we didn’t text for a few days then i texted him and he found stuff out about me that he didnt know before, which made him more interested, talking to me more and replying faster…we made plans to see each other over the weekend last week, but something came up with him and it was cancelled, and we havn’t talked since then..last Sunday…so anyway i want to talk to him again and see when we can hang out but its happening all over again, i get scared..i know how guys are..and theres silence again unless he decides to text me one day..but im tired of waiting for that..what im trying to say by all of this is..maybe we’re going” too” slow??…because its obvious we have strong chemistry, its almost been a year, i’ve dated other people, but ive never felt as comfortable with someone until he came along…i just don’t want there to be a “could have been”.but at the same time, i cant have him mistaken, thinking im “needy”..any advice?

ReplyMay 10, 2011, 11:54 pm

Leanna Demetriou

Ok, so here’s the situation. I met this guy and he text me quite a bit, never all day every day but he made the effort. I played it very cool and always took a while to reply etc. On sunday we had our 3rd date and he came to mine to have a dvd day. Nothing too physical happened, just alot of kissing and a bit of touchey feely. But he saw me taking some painkillers and he asked me why; so i told him that I have endometriosis…we are both training to be nurses so he knew what it is. I didnt intend on telling him, it kind of slipped out because it had been on my mind a bit because the worst symptom is pain during sex. So i told him that, and just said sometimes it can be painful but most of the time its fine. He seemed ok, and when he left, he text me when he got home and I said thanks for a great day and sorry for blurting out about the endometriosis and that i wasnt sure when the best time to mention it was. I didnt hear from him all day yesterday but he was on shift which is 12 and a half hours long so he wouldnt have got home till about 8 oclock, but still no message. Then today came and it got to about midday so i decided to make the first move and text. I asked him how his day was and if he was busy, and the reply i got was “yea bloody busy, im knackered x hows u? x” so i replied and at the end asked if he was about sometime in the week to do something. No reply…. now he finished work at 8, but am i being paranoid and he could well just be tired and not to panic? I am worried I have completely put him off by telling him about my endometriosis. I really like him and i dont know if its just my insecurities coming through or whether I freaked him out. Should I not have said anything? Stupid me :( it just all came flooding out…


ReplyMay 10, 2011, 5:40 pm


Here’s my situatuion: i have a friend i’ve known for 15 years and neither one of us had the guts to say what we were feeling til recently. Now everything is out in the open, i have always loved him and he has always loved me and now we finally get a chance to act on it but we live four states away from each other. The first few months conversation was great, we talked about us, the possibility of moving, but littele by little its like his time is more and more limited. We hardly talk, no more texts everyday or even once a week. What happened?

ReplyMay 8, 2011, 2:24 pm


Help my bf isn’t texting anymore he used to talk to me 24/7 :( I think he’s cheating on me is he or not I mis his dick lmfao I think he’s just bust with uni cuz he’s gonna finish skool :) yeeeeeeeeeee DAWG MY PUSSY IS ITCHING ME :$ oopsy

ReplyMay 5, 2011, 8:04 pm


I have hung out with this guy 2 times one weekend by accident, and both nights we sat and talked after for a couple of hours. the next week we went on a date then we hung out in his dorm the next night, but the problem is he doesn’t text me much. He only texts me sporadically, and never just a hey how are you. I’m confused if he interested or not.

ReplyApril 29, 2011, 12:05 am


I had that happen too. Made plans, showed up, but he didnt. Never heard from him again. I afree, women are complicated?? Whatever!!

ReplyApril 27, 2011, 8:49 pm


this is so true wish id read this before, i was supposed to be going on a date to the cinemas with some boy i knew to meet up on the weekend, i checked the cinema times and realised the film we wanted to watch wasnt showing anymore, so i text him having not spoke to him for 2 days to ask him if he wanted to see another film instead, i got absolutly no reply back, i knew he read it because we both use Blackberry messenger and it show’s once they’ve read a message, i didnt text him again as i wasnt really bothered as he asked me to go with him, i just found it funny how me asking him a general question means i was being “needy” in boy terms….an men say women are complicated lol

ReplyApril 27, 2011, 8:13 pm


Thanks, Cecilia!
I wish I could list all the things he said to me in his emails. They were very leading. He is the one that wanted to meet me as soon as possible. He is the one that said “after you meet me and decide you don’t like me, just tell me, I’m a big boy.” He is the one that said he was not looking for perfection. He was the one that said he is not judgmental. He is the one that wanted to make the plans for lunch the next day. He is the one who asked if we could exchange number. I guess I shouldn’t have seemed so interested, but I am who I am. I’ve never been a very good “dater” so I guess lesson learned! I will wait it out as long as I can, but in the meantime, I am getting back on the dating site!

Thanks again!

ReplyApril 27, 2011, 11:37 am


I agree with the friend that says you should have waited. One text ok but emails, text, phone calls and a text apologizing for a text is a little on the obsessive side especially since you just met. Maybe you are commitment material and he got scared. Give it time. Everybody needs time to think and their space. I have this guy I like sometimes he text me and sometimes he doesn’t. When I don’t text him for a week all of a sudden he will start texting me wondering what going on. Make them work for it, don’t make it easy. Don’t seem desperate and clingy.
Good luck.

ReplyApril 27, 2011, 11:17 am


It sounds like you are invested in the relationship and he is not yet. I dont think your both so in love…I think you are. It doesn’t sound like a steady relationship. I would leave him alone. Sometimes when they dont hear from you they start to wonder and then test you and want to talk to you. If he doesn’t text you then that means he is really not that interested. Move on and ignore him. When you give them space they sometimes come back on their own and then you can decide, not him, if you want to continue or not. Go out with your friends or do stuff you like to do and put him on the back burner.

ReplyApril 25, 2011, 12:07 pm


alisha- i can totaly relate. my guess is hes trying to make you jealous so you will come crawling back to him. in this situation, u need to be strong and flirt with other guys. play hard to get. guys love a challenge.

ReplyApril 25, 2011, 11:03 am


me and this guy have been dating for a couple months and we r so in love. the only problem is he never texts me and when he does we have this nice long conversation. i always text him the next day hoping to have the same type of conversation but he never replys. i send him a few texts throughout the day because ik he is busy sometimes. but when he doesnt text me for at least a day or so i feel like he is ignoring me. i mean even if he was busy he cud at least send me a text saying he cudnt talk so i dont feel like hes ignoring me you know? but anyways its monday and he hasnt txted me since friday. and when this stuff happens, ill see him at school and he never acts like i sent him a text asking why he didnt reply. i know this article or whatever says that im being needy when i say that but he doesnt act like im needy when we r in person. in fact when we r in person, HE is the one whos all over me. which doesnt make sense why he wouldnt text me then. even just a “whats up” wud make me happy. i know you are thinking then call him but i do. and he never answers. i dont want him to think im needy but he could at least tell me if he couldnt talk. thats all i would ask of him instead of just not replying all together. leave tips if u can help me.

ReplyApril 25, 2011, 10:52 am


i have dated this guy and now we are taking a break cuz we were going to fast and he said he’ll wait for me and now he is flirting with this girl in my class like he did with me and he’s not talking to me and im so depressed and he doesnt stare at me in class anymore. i dont no wat i did and he was the only guy that would talk to me in my classes…should i just forget him and move on?????

ReplyApril 24, 2011, 10:30 pm


i have dated this guy and now we are taking a break cuz we were going to fast and he said he’ll wait for me and now he is flirting with this girl in my class like he did with me and he’s not talking to me and im so sad cuz he was the only guy that would talk to me…should i just forget him and move on?????

ReplyApril 24, 2011, 10:25 pm

Suman Sahu

Yes you sould move on coz this guy looks like a mere flirty person. There may be other friends too with whon you can talk.

ReplyMay 24, 2011, 12:52 pm


Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months now, and we usually talk every day. Today is wednesday and he hasn’t talked to me since monday. He randomly stopped talking to me than, so I assumed his phone died and it wasn’t a big deal. But, I texted him a few times and he never responded and ik he has plans today (wednesday) so he should have his phone to make sure his friends are coming, right? Am I over reacting, or should I be worried that he didn’t text back… Like that he’s gonna break up with me…? I really don’t see us breaking up, we say I love you every day… HELPP!

ReplyApril 20, 2011, 8:07 am


hey so i was wondering if it is okay to send a guy <3 even if he hasn't sent it to you yet or does it make you seem too pushy?

ReplyApril 17, 2011, 11:00 pm


He likes your friend, sorry. You can’t dictate who people like or don’t. Chemistry between two people happens or it doesn’t. So he wasn’t the guy for you. Look for a guy with similar qualities but that likes you. Everybody teaches us something through out life; he showed you what you like in a guy. Now go find yourself one that likes you. Be happy for your friend and don’t text him. She is your friend and you should respect their chose to be together even though it hurts now. Be a friend not an enemy. In the end if you are mean spirited you will lose a friend, respect and a little of your good self.

ReplyApril 15, 2011, 10:02 am


When the fairy tale is gone it is very hard to get it back. The problem sometimes is that the more we are rejected the more we want something. Unfortunately, when that someone does come back it might just not be what we were looking for. Then all that time wondering was a waste of time. We all say things that we regret because sometimes our emotions do get the best of us but forgive yourself. You were right to be angry and embarrassed by his behavior. The worst part is that he did not recognize the hurt and tried to not own up to it. Do you really want that? You are a beautiful person that knows what they want. So what that your friends date…good for them. Now you need to find that guy that gives you the fairytale. You will and when you do you will know that everything is right. No relationship is easy but in the beginning its not supposed to be that hard. Word of advice, its better to be alone than with bad company. I know as women we sometimes don’t like to be alone but trust me alone is better than with someone that does not respect you or your values.

ReplyApril 15, 2011, 9:57 am


i have liked this guy for a long time. hes my guy friend i want to be something more then friends, i want to ask him out. i currently found out that my friend likes him too and that he apparently likes her. i want him to like me, ive liked him longer. he found out i liked him and doesn’t reply my txts anymore. can anyone help me?

ReplyApril 15, 2011, 4:21 am

Suman Sahu

Call him straight forward and ask the reason for not replying to your messages.

ReplyMay 24, 2011, 12:48 pm


I guess it just hurts worse when someone completely ignores you. Even if there was no chance of fixing it I would feel better if we could talk about it and at least be on a peaceful level with one another.

ReplyApril 14, 2011, 6:12 pm


soo true

ReplyMay 17, 2011, 9:35 am


My advice to Nicky would be to cut your losses. He is not worth it. I have seen friends get back together and even marry people like him. It never ends up happy. Don’t worry you will find someone that has qualities that you will like and has respect no matter the situation. Letting go is never easy but you dont want to regret it down the road. Never settle maybe it was good for you to tell him like it is. He maybe will learn his lesson and become a better person.

ReplyApril 14, 2011, 5:16 pm


Thank you so much for your advice Cecilia. What he did after one month basically took the innocence out of the fairy tale I was falling in love with. Now I feel like everything has been turned on me. I exploded on him on the phone and called him bad names but it was out of frustration and anger of what he did the past weekend. I am not the type of person who likes to have conflict and call others names. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt for this and the things I said. I still care for him and I guess I am just remebering all the good times before this situation and I want to go back to that place. But your right maybe I should cut my losses, I have apologized via email, phone and text a few times now with not one response from him. I have said how terribly sorry I am and how much he means to me in the emails. I think it will be best to leave it alone for now and maybe try to call and talk it out in a few weeks when emotions arent so high. One issue is my best friend is dating his best friend and now I just feel like I caused more drama than it was worth.

ReplyApril 14, 2011, 6:09 pm


I need advice, I was dating this guy for about a month and a half, everything was going great, he was the first guy in a long time I was actually falling for. A couple weekends ago I joined him on a business / personal trip. During that weekend I started to see a side to him that I didnt like. He was getting wasted drunk and embaressing me and acting like a total dick to me and other people around us that we didnt know. By the end of the night I had helped him find his lost phone, put up with him calling me names like bitch and even worse stuff and also telling me he loved me in the same breath (I thought this was an odd way to first tell a girl your newly dating that you love her since he was wasted). The next day I was in shock over what had happened. He woke up and said he didnt know what happened and why he acted that way, he cried, begged for my forgiveness and I said I forgave him. I didnt really forgive him in that moment though, I was exhasted from fighting and had to fly back home so just needed to have peace and harmony in my life in that moment. When I got home and thought more about the events I was furious that he treated me like that so I wrote him a harsh but also caring email about how bad he hurt me. After a few days we spoke for the first time and he seemed to be justifying his behavior which really made me lose it on him. I cursed him out told him he wasnt a man and said some pretty hurtful bad things to him. In that moment I didnt care what I said and it was over in my mind. Now that the steam has settled I feel very bad for the things I said. I have written him and email apology and called him once and both times expressed my sincere apology. He is not responding to anything and now that the tables have turned on me I feel so bad for basically doing to him what I was upset at him doing to me. This was the first fight but it was really BAD. I miss him and I forgive him for being a wasted idiot and just want to move forward. I have learned a lot from this but just need to know if him not responding means he is over it and I should stop trying to get him to hear me out or do you think he just needs time to cool down. Its been a week now and I just want to fix things but I also dont want to come across as “crazy” trying to contact someone who is not responding. what should i do, cut my losses or try to talk to him?

ReplyApril 14, 2011, 5:08 pm


Nut job. Move on. It’s so simple. Do you want to be with a heavy drinker? Someone who calls you names? They don’t stop being who they are and when they’re drunk, they show you who they really are.
In the past 6 months I have been trying to rid a guy I dated for a year off & on mainly because of the yelling and screaming and then the cheating and I’m not even going into the whole story as it is a waste of time. But the main point is this, if anything AT ALL doesn’t add up and you know intuitively that something isn’t just quite “right,” dear—- cut your losses quick and move on.

This is LOVE & COMPASSION talking. I’m not men-bashing, I’m being realistic. Enough of making excuses for anyone. Despite that it may appear you “like,” “adore,” “care” for him or he for you, if they don’t treat you right from the beginning, they never will. :) Love Yourself First Always!! <3

ReplyJanuary 18, 2015, 6:00 pm

carina :)

i know this guy and i like him i always talk to him on fb. i found out that he knew i liked him. now when i talk to him he doesn’t answer? i dont know what i did?

ReplyApril 13, 2011, 3:21 am


it sounds to me that he’s just not hat into you.. a guy who hasnt got the decency to say this to your face is NOT worth your time love or care. either that or hes afraid of making a committment. he could like someone else possibly. trust me, guyz can like more than one girl at a time. have you even tried phoning him?? if you have tried a couple of times and you still do not get a response, then i suggest you just move on with your life. believe me, you deserve a lot better and can do better-im saying this from experience. sorry if my tone appears to be harsh, im not really like this its jus that we all need to face reality sometimes right.

ReplyMay 17, 2011, 9:25 am

Melissa Guillen

Dear Eric and readers:

I know there might be no wrong or right answers here I think everyone has different preferences, and I think that is legitimate based on where you are in your life and what you want for your future. Let me tell you my story (based on my own romantic history).

When I was 18, I was of course very inmature, insecure, and confused about love. I felt madly in love with a guy going to a different college. Although I tried very hard not to appear “needy” I truly was. All those things Eric talks about: dont wait around for him, have a hobby, have a life is more than just doing activities. I would be in my dance class dancing and still pondering about how my boyfriend hadnt respondto my text, I would go out with other guys and still wonder about why he hadnt call. I think feeling secure in a relationship is important; and there are of course more underlying factors to this than texting. If you sleep with a guy too soon (and sort of worry about what he might see you as), if he has dropped off the face of the planet, if he is not that nice to you, or puts you down quite a bit, etc; his text are going to mean more than just text, his text are going to mean reassurance that things are ok. Anyways, that relationship ended badly.

Fastforward 4 years, things have changed in my life. I graduated college, started my career, followed my passions: writing, dancing, community organizing. In the mist of it all I date, had relationships, etc. Two years ago I met “puzzle man.” Very handsome, hardworking, a bit of a jerk but hey, no one is perfect, and I was very attracted to him. Mystery man took me on some very fun dates at first everything was fine but then it took a turn into the weird texting games zone.
Puzzle man: Hey, how is it going? how is your day?
Me: Going well thank you, yours?
(no reply… no reply until that night (4 hours later, or next day, or just no reply).

Mind you 4 years had gone by and I am now 25, my priorities are different. I want to get into grad school, I want to stay fit, I want to see the city, I want to become a better dancer/writer, I love mentoring youth and I do think about what traits are good in a man to be a fit father/partner.

It sort of irritated me, I hardly ever initated the text, he did, but then he would never respond. However, there is more to a person than his texting, and so he was goofy, educated and sex was great. He wasnt my boyfriend and never stated he would be. After 6-7 months of this I knew I liked him, and so I did have a conversation letting him know that although what we had was fun, I was looking for more. I knew I wanted someone to take me out to dinners, reliable, caring, a boyfriend. This guy was honest he wasnt in the same spot. Through this all I went on dates with other men, kept studying for my grad school exam, kept my dear hobbies because i want to be the best I can and do the things that make me happy(see ladies, you truly cant fake or should fake being busy for someone- to love yourself to the point where you know taking care of your mind and body is important is what does it, seek you passions because you deserve it). I knew Iwanted more than unreliable, still he was fun, so we kept each other around, butI knew this wasnt it. I wasnt going to change him, I have to worry about me first to accomplish the things I dream of in other areas and set mysel up for a hopeful future. Ladies, if you know what you want, that’s ok Dont try to change the man, give him a chance I am sure he is more than his texting patterns. If there are no day dates, if he is not interested in talking to you, then, the problem goes deeper than how long does it take him to text you. I never faked business for puzzle man, I actually was very busy doing “me” lol.

So I labeled puzzle man booty call, I thought this was our ground. I began dating my “nice” guy best friend 8 months ago. I myself have never really liked texting, he or I will call each other at night and maybe once during the day (but not often). We never text unless is pratical or a joke. I love it :) I feel that text sometimes sort of interrup life (in that sense I am sort of lik a man – task oriented; my boyfriend also is not big on texting. But here is the kicker:

Puzzle man wont stop texting. Of course most of these are at night, or recently early in the morning. He want to see how I am doing lol

So if you are busy because you love yourself enough to want to be fit, be educated, read many books, find things you look forward to, wher do you want t be in 10 years? Your one and only answer shouldnt be “married.” Is there a language you want to learn? a skill? an instrument? If you want to be married, then join sites, go to mixers but do “you.”

Love y’all. There is definitely a fine line between he doesnt answer, neediness, and downright rudeness and neglect. I dont hold anyone to I would do this so they should. But if he stands you up and doesnt bother to text you, that is rude, unless there was an emergency I he couldnt text one line. I dont do that to friends, co-workers, or ppl I dont know that well; it is a blunt I dont care about your time. If he is text flaky and you dont like it, that’s ok. Definitely dont spend too much time hang up on something that makes you uncomfortable- on to teh next one baby!

Love y’all

ReplyApril 5, 2011, 6:23 pm

A dude who stumbled on this thread

As a guy who stumbled on this thread…wow.

Just saying Eric is not going to answer an essay, brainstorm or narrow down your situation to a few key questions or points.

And STOP thinking soo much. All that thinking everyone does usually leads to becoming worried and confused about everything. If he doesn’t answer a text don’t let it bother you. I can probably speak for many guys, we don’t like texting that much. I use it to plan things, ask a simple question, get to the point. I dislike when someone tries to have conversation over text. It never works, because texting is slow and not dynamic, and with texting it allows you do live your life still without putting it on hold. If I don’t text back it’s because I read the text and was busy, so I couldn’t reply and forgot about it. OR I didn’t notice it, or I couldn’t care for petty talk when I could be doing something else.

If you want to talk to someone CALL THEM FOR GOD SAKES. A conversation makes someone usually pay attention and if they are busy they will say so. I can walk on the phone and talk, but I can’t on a street and text. It does not work at all.

– texting is a broken, poor way of communication
– sometimes it is bothersome to text in situations
– too much effort to text constantly
– call the person for once
– stop overthinking everything, thinking makes everything worse…he might have forgotten about your text or just didn’t respond because he was busy atm, while you worry about him ignoring you or avoiding you

ReplyApril 4, 2011, 10:37 pm


truue sayy duude

ReplyMay 17, 2011, 9:17 am


A guy I like is really confusing me. I don’t understand him. We have been talking for about a year now and I know he likes me. He had me meet his family and friends and I’m the only girl hes asked to go to a dance with. We do stuff every time we see each other. The part that confuses me is that he hasn’t asked me to date him. I really don’t date but I would like to date this guy. It wouldn’t bother me if he wasn’t the dating type… but he seems like he can’t go without a girlfriend for very long. I want to know why he doesn’t ask me. I’m not a jealous girl. I give him his time and i don’t pester him, I don’t care when he’d rather hang out with his guy friends, and I do what he wants me to do but without being a push over. We have been doing stuff close to a year now, while his girlfriends only last about two weeks so i don’t understand why he hasn’t asked me out yet.

ReplyApril 4, 2011, 9:24 pm


Sooooo…I was witht his boy for a while. We stopped talking because of certain things. Neither of us wanted it, but we had to. Then a few weeks ago he txtd me to see how I was doing. He told me he wanted me, missed me blah blah blah. Then last week we really started talking. Everyday, all day. We’re not dating…but he calls me baby, tells me he really likes me. Then all of a sudden he doesnt txt at all. I wait for him, say goodnight and he says goodnight back. But then the next day he doesnt txt at all. What does this mean? Because I honestly dont want to go through the same thing all over again if I lose him. Help??

ReplyApril 3, 2011, 8:14 pm


try and talk to him not by txting he probably ran out of credit or sumthing from all that txting dw. call him maybe a better option.

ReplyApril 15, 2011, 4:28 am


So I know my boyfriend loves me, and would do anything for me. We’re bestfriends and everything. We’ve only been a couple for a couple of months but he told me he had a crush on me about a year ago and I pretty much played hard to get for like a bit more than half a yr but then he said he was in love with me and I knew he’d be a good boyfriend and i could see a future with him so a couple of weeks after he told me how much in love with me he was I gave up my hard to get act and became his gf. And he’s honestly so great i love him a lot.
But yeah, the problem i guess that I’m kind of conffused with is that when he’s out he doesn’t respond to me. Like the thing is I still text him when I’m with my friends, it might take me a bit longer than usual but i still manage to get a text sent every hour or so. But he almost never texts when he’s out. Like we might be texting every like 5 min to each other then right before he goes out he’d give his response to my text and then add something at the end like “so hey im going out now I’ll be back in a few hours so i’ll tttyl” and my response is usualy like “haha ok cya”
So I was basicaly wondering if all guys don’t text when they’re out? like I don’t know whats so hard about responding while you’re out. I kind of figure this isn’t something i need to worry about . I don’t let him know that this bothers me cuz im pretty sure that would come off as clingy and needy so yeah i just pretend im cool with it.
But I really don’t like it when he stops texting just because he’s with his friends I honestly don’t know what to do. I thought maybe doing the same thing as him would work but i don’t think that worked well, but then again I gave up after a day.. :S I also tried responding while im out with friends and letting him know im with friends So hed know that i still talk to him even thought im with ppl so he should to but that didn’t work at all I dont think he gave that a secound thoght
but yeah im just confused about how to get him to stop doing that.

ReplyApril 3, 2011, 12:58 am


Today i told this girl i liked her, we have sort of a rocky past, cause one day before we were supposed to go on a date i went over to her house and ended up kissing her and some other kinky stuff. But that was part of our moment. But the next day she says she can’t go on our day I ask why and she says my boyfriend is coming over……I was completely heart broken. I ended up ignoring her for a while, later on she and her boyfriend ended up breaking up and now shes all sad and depressed, but she keeps talking to me and sorta actin like she likes me still. We’ve been flirting a bit, yesturday i told her i still liked her and her response was “mmmmmm i see” and then asked me if i was sure. Dumbfouned I said yes and now she say she suprised and has to think about it…..

ReplyMarch 25, 2011, 2:35 pm


She sounds like she likes to play games and drama. Stringing people alone is not good and she sounds like that is the kind of thing she will do, maybe ’cause she can’t stand being alone… Be careful you may be next in her line of drama.

ReplySeptember 26, 2011, 12:47 am


Theres this guy who i really liked and we texted for 3 days straight one time. I told him i liked him and he sayed he liked me too. This was over winter break and now that we are back in shcool we never talk. Was i being too pushy?

ReplyMarch 24, 2011, 8:09 pm


This article really brought me idea and cleared my mind though there are still things that I’m confuse and feeling betrayed with him. Thanks Eric.

ReplyMarch 24, 2011, 12:53 am


Hi Eriq
I broke up with this guy 3 months ago, but i am still not over him…I Still ove him and i am finding it difficult to get with another guy because i cant think of anyone other than him. the reason why we brokeup was because he didnt feel the same way i did. he really likes my bestmate and is trying to get with her. but i cant see him with any other girl let alone my bestmate.
i really dont know what to do…should i just let my bestamte get with him, because i know he is a lovely guy and he will treat her right?

ReplyMarch 23, 2011, 7:40 am


HELLLLLLP!!…i was dating this girl for about 2 months, then we didnt see each other for two weeks and on the Saturday via Facebook she said “I can’t wait to see you” the next day she has her head buryed in a book and wont even look at me or talk to me. A week later she breaks up with me via one of my friends…what happened???

ReplyMarch 22, 2011, 9:38 pm


Hi I have a similar sitch. I met this guy and we agreed to have an nsa/fwb time, and it ended up hot and passionate and with us cuddling and talking and just kissing for hours. And then it happened again a couple days later. We nevr mentioned getting anymore serious or anything. He kept kissing me and saying he liked me so much and yadda yadda. Then he left that morning and I’ve never heard back from him. He lives down the street and I have to pass his house daily when i leave so its hard not to think of him. You just cant fake that kind of connection. My guy friend mentioned that since this guy met and married his ex wife within 6 months, that mabye he gets attached quick and got scared. But I’d rather him just reject me then leave me in the dark like this. Its only been like 4-5 days. I just find it odd and rude. and It hurts just not knowing. Any ideas?

ReplyMarch 22, 2011, 7:23 pm


I have the same experience and believe me i share your feelings, there is this guy whom we’ ve been friends and more to a point of going intimate, after two different occasion in act he decided to dissapear and however much i try to get to him he seems buzy, how can you tell a serious guy

ReplyMay 18, 2011, 9:24 am


Also I feel like were to the point where maybe I’ve already pished it too far.. like I’ve not really done anything that I think is too much but I read all those comments and see that guys comprehend stuff different than girls how can I change it it he already is like freaked out whatever.. I’m the kinda person to send massive texts just sharing my feelings.. is that okay?

ReplyMarch 14, 2011, 9:47 pm


Okay I couldn’t figure out how to ask a question so imma just comment and maybe you can help me:)me and this guy have been friends since..maybe november?We didn’t start texting and talking regularly till about the beginning of january or december..but we really were JUST friends. Forreal. So anyway we would meet up on Friday nights on his break with him and like me and 3or 4 of my girl friends and eat and hangout.He also used to call just about everyday. Then I accidently on purpose sent a text to him that said ” maybe he does! You’re so positive!” I meant to send it to a friend cause we were talking abiut him and how I was a little confused on if he like me too. Now.. I wasn’t like.. ohh I like you soo much I just wanted us to kinda maybe kick it up a notch.. anyways I sent that to him and he kept on asking me who it was about and I told him it was a boy and girl that maybe the guy really did like the girl. And he kept on asking who is was and I told him I couldn’t say. We tell everything to each other any way he guessed the girl was me. And I said yeah butim NOT telling you who the guy is. We kept talking and I said well fine.”I could go all 2nd grade on you and say if you tell me who you like ill tell you who I like, but since you supposedly tell me everything I guess you don’ like anyone” he said well maybe I do ill tell you what you tell me and ill tell you” so I was like okay I said. Give me a hint. He said to hell with this guessin crap I reckon I like you. Btw he’s countryy:) anywayy after that we kept on talking and I was like well don’t worry ill be over it in a little bit so you don’t have to worry about it getting awkawrd… he said well that’s gay that you wonna just get over it. Who said its all gotta end?? Nobody!
Blah blah blah.. then he kinda seemed like he wasn’t interested in anything there for a few days so I sent him this biggol long text about how if he really like me to tell me just to tell me what going on. And he said sorry and apologized blah blah. So I was like okay I feel better I just have to share my feelings haha and he replied back “I love you aleece:)” anyway we were good there for about a week but he still like never called me. But I was okay, then this past Monday he called me just for a few minutes to tell me something just about school then I’ve not talked to him since.. like I’ve texted him to ask him a question and he replied with one word or veryy uninterested stuff.. and I’m over the fact that I like him.. but we were best friends and noww there’s like nothing.. he told me he like me first. So idk! alsoo he used to come sit at my lunch table when he would get done eating with his friends.. he ain’t don’t that in about 3 weeks. I just need to know what’s going on.. my friends say I need to forget him and move on but I CAN’T without an explanation. Oh yeah I forgot to add this in there he also asked me2 be his valentineand we got each other stuff and he liked mine he talked about it for a weekCrapimoutaspace

ReplyMarch 14, 2011, 9:27 pm


As a follow up to my post a while ago, he ended up being a flake. If you need to read my post, search for “Alex”. I think it was really rude. We thought he was being really shy, but I think he just offered to hang out with me because he thought I needed his “pity hang”. I am not that desperate, so I gave up right after I realized it. Because every time we would start making plans, he’d die off on a conversation via text if he even answered me. So I deleted him from my phonebook and that was that. I advise all you girls with flaky seeming guys to do the same. It really is better in the long run. You don’t deserve to be treated as second best, or as a loser.

ReplyMarch 12, 2011, 2:40 pm


I feel like this is all true but, what happens when your living with your boyfriend and this kinda crap is going on? What about that situation?

ReplyMarch 12, 2011, 1:34 pm


Yeah, I hate when a guy tells you to text him and then he doesn’t reply back within 24 hours. That is when I say Peace! I’m out I got the hint, please delete my number. I would prefer being alone than wait around on a liar.

ReplyMarch 6, 2011, 1:25 am


Hey I have kinda the same prolem esept he is been in my class sents the 2cd graed and all the sudden this year he acts this way. And the creep thing is I kinda look like his old grilfriend and I have only had 2 boyfriends one in 3th graed who cheeted on me and anther thorghout 1st all the way to the bigging of 3th but he ended up cheeting on me and I didn’t even know it. And on trusday he ask me to the park the guy I like who likes me and he ended up geting in a bike reke but he said he is ok but what suked is on friday is when he wanted to go and that is the day he got hurt. What am I sposta do becaus I want to hang with him but I don’t know how help pleasssss?

ReplyMarch 5, 2011, 10:15 am


Hey I have one question what if you like the guy and he likes you and he still partly like your friend? But he dose know you like him and you know he likes you becaus he tolled you, pluse i am in 4th graed.

ReplyMarch 5, 2011, 9:57 am


I got used to hang out with this guy about two years ago. We were close and we would kiss, but no sex. Then we stopped talking because of issues. He got in touch with me for my birthday a year later and then we lost touch again. Last week I got a text from him and we hooked up for dinner and drinks. I, to my dismay, found out that he moved away and was living on the other side of the U.S.
We went out for 5 hours and we shared a small kiss. After dinner I didn’t think I would hear from him again. But as soon as I got in my car he texted me wishing that he didn’t live so far away and that he would treat me like a princess. I kept it casual and said I knew he would but I never made myself sound needy. All I said was that it was great seeing him and I was reminded how nice it was to him around. For the rest of the four days he was in town he would text me everyday. He was sorry he didn’t get in touch sooner because he would have really wanted more days with me.
I would never text him first because I didn’t want to come off as desperate or needy. I really was busy with plans and friends. My job also keeps me busy with traveling and meetings. He said that the next time we meet he wanted it to be where he lives.
When he left he texted when he was in layover and when he arrived back to his home. Everything was going great. Then last Friday we were texting and he just stopped. It was weird so I was said, ” ok I guess you didn’t like my answer to your question” He just responded that he was at a dance event that his friend was participating in and it was “whack”. I responded “ok, have a great time” Then I never heard back from him till Monday, he texted me that one my favorite shows was on. I, unfortunately, did not have my personal phone on me so I couldn’t respond till almost two days later, which I said, “LOL. I’ve been busy. How are you doing?” He responded,”Great!!!!!” and I responded, “Why are you yelling? What has you in such a great mood?” That is the last I heard from him which is now two days ago. What should I do? Is this guy interested or not?

ReplyMarch 3, 2011, 3:09 pm

Lauren Nicole

Great damn advice! Thank you!

ReplyMarch 3, 2011, 2:19 am


So im going for this guy. we act like we’re in a relationship , but we’re not, he says he wants to be but he knows he’s a bad boyfriend and he doesn’t want to hurt me. then when expressed to him i still want to be with him he said i will and that he wants me to even be his wife. He doesn’t talk much so i figure thats its just because he’s at work or in class. but i see him online all the time but even then he won’t talk to me. when we text its really hard to find something to talk about.( i try the whole asking him questions about him, but it doesn’t work, he never gives me something i can go off of.) I do know that he’s a guy thats often depressed now but, he says it makes him happy when i do talk to him. i mean its hard for me to find anything to do, he’s not the normal guy, he hates makeup and hair thats not mine. he seems to hate everything that has to do with something “fake”. He says he doesn’t need sex and he can go without it but i think he said it only cause we were playing around( i told him i wanted him to have my v-card). i just don’t know what to do, its like very time i think i understand him he goes a completely different way. please help. It seems we have our moments and then they disappear and come back just goes on and on like that.

ReplyFebruary 28, 2011, 10:54 pm


Hey everyone ive been reading a lot of these posts and im in a similar predicament. Ive been hanging out with this guy now for a month and a half. Before we hung out, he would text me on his own like 5 times a day. Once we started hanging out it was less. We hang out about twice a week an he will spend the night one of those nights I hear from him about every other day but soetimes he ges MIA for like 2 days or so. The first time he did it, i would text him twice a day very spaced apart each day. FInally i heard from him and he said “what i cant disappear for a day?” it kinda threw me off but i shrugged it off. Now hes doing it again. Someone told me to not hang out with him everytime he wants to see me, to play hard to get. I d not want to come across needy to this guy. I think i already texted him more than i should today(twice) without a response. i feel like im doing everything completely wrong. I wanted to confront him about being MIA but bc it hasnt been that long, i dont want to scare him away. what should i do? back off for a bit? why would he not answer me in the first place?

ReplyFebruary 25, 2011, 3:45 pm


Dear Eric,
I have no idea whether you still read this page or not but if you do, I’d be very grateful of some advice. Firstly, I’ve read all your comments (above) and you’ve made me see that I did indeed come across as needy – whether I am or not, is something I have to examine myself, carefully. The help I am requesting is how to make amends or become friends with someone AFTER mistakes have been made.

I really liked a guy much younger than me (I am 46, he is 30); but I realise now his friendship was the most important thing, beyond anything else. I know I screwed up – in many ways you outline above (I even accused him of being rude when he answered a tweet but not an email & when he apologised I didn’t even accept that!)

It’s not a issue of getting on with my life – yes,yes, I can do that, I DO that. But I feel very sad (and given my age, very stupid) to have behaved in such a manner. I realise I share more interests in common with him than any other person I have ever met and I would like to reconcile matters, to become friends. Is this possible? If so, how?

Thank you

ReplyFebruary 25, 2011, 2:10 am


What Eric said: “Why should the guy have to respond to you when you want, how you want? And why should you NEED him to respond that way? In the grand scheme of things, it’s so insignificant that getting upset about how a guy responds to a text message is enough to make a guy want to avoid you. I wouldn’t want to deal with a girl who flips out unless I text her the right way…

I’m not trying to be mean, but this isn’t guys imagining things. This is guys not wanting to deal with nonsense. And plus, it’s not all guys… it sounds to me like you happen to date guys who act like assholes when it comes to texting you. That’s not the world’s fault or even men’s fault. You are responsible for your dating choices.

Want to get text messages every time you send it? Date a pushover wussy nice guy – he’ll shower you with attention and affection… Or… stop taking a guy’s text message habits as meaning something about you and/or your relationship. A man’s world is bigger than your text message.”



ReplyFebruary 25, 2011, 12:45 am


I have was seeing this guy for about 6 months and we always had a good time, and he appeared to really like me. But something happened to him in is life and he has not responded to my text message I sent was a few weeks ago and I want to text him again and give it one last shot , wondering if I should text him and what to say without sounding needy or desperate. Please advise

ReplyFebruary 24, 2011, 8:07 pm


I had a date with this guy, seemed to go very well. After however, I may have msg`d him too many times, little things mind you, but now he dosen`t respond, is their any way I can repare damage or is it too late?

ReplyFebruary 16, 2011, 12:21 pm


So, I’ve know this guy for several years and I’ve always had some interest in him. For years, I never attempted to even say anything to him because I just thought that if he was interested in me, he would approach me. Well, eventually we ended up introducing ourselves because we were on a praise team together but still it never went past a “hi” and “bye” relationship. When I went away to college, every once in a while I would send him a message on facebook just to say hey and we’d usually have the, what I call “common fb convo” (hey, how are you, what have you been up to) and then that would be it. I didn’t do this often but I did maybe once every few months. Well, recently I did it and he ended up asking me if I had his number so I told him no and gave him mine. Well after that he sent me a text message and from there we had a long conversation. However, all the replies (on both our parts) were very spaced out so it wasn’t as long as it appeared. Well, I’m a very talkative person and I tend to hold conversations real well by always being able to keep up and usually always having some topic to talk about….my problem with this is in this case I tended to start leading the conversation. Well, I wanted to give him the opportunity to end the conversation if he wanted so I started to ask fewer questions. However, he would always ask me the question back and he would find interest in my answers. Well this went on for a couple of days (like 2 or 3) then that convo ended. Well the next day was valentines day and I decided I wasn’t going to text him, at least not early on, so I waited…no text came so finally I text him happy vday and asked him if he did anything special and he said “no, did you”…I said no then decided to flirt a little and said “Really? So no lucky girl got a date with you”…and again he said no did any with you…( I was tempted to joke and say well I don’t date girls at all lol but I didn’t because I knew what he meant)…but I did text back saying “nope no guys, but there is one that I am interested in getting to know better” and he said “who might that be” and I said “let’s just say he is someone you know…better than anyone else” and he said “I think he might like that” and I ended the convo with a little smiley face. OKAY so now that I’ve told you the background, my thing is I’d like for him to make the effort to text and lead convo’s however I do understand that I could possibly confuse him by all of a sudden taking the passive route after being the leader so far, even as to say I was interested first. However, what I have done since then was not text him…this is the second day I haven’t and he hasn’t text me yet and I know he isn’t that busy because I see him on facebook talking to people…:-/…based on the information provided, please give me your opinion on not only my way of handling the situation but also on your take of where he is right now when it comes to this situation. I really am interested in this guy, always have been…I haven’t been too pushy I don’t think and I haven’t been riding him about talking to me at all so please help help help! It would be GREATLY appreciated. :-)

ReplyFebruary 16, 2011, 10:17 am


So I’ve been on and off with this guy Paul, since I was 16 (I’m 21 now). I’m madly in love with him and he says he feels the same towards me. Paul moved to Florida a few years ago and we tried a long-distance relationship, but it didn’t work. I told him I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore because things started to get really complicated and so we broke up. We’re still friends and talk all the time. He kept reminding me that his feelings for me never changed, but I would rebuke his advances. He came up to CT to visit his mom for the holidays and we decided to hang out as friends one day. When we were hanging out all my feelings for him came back. He told me he never stopped loving me, that he’s never loved anyone the way he loves me and I believed him. We spent as much time together those two weeks as we could, but we never made anything official. We were basically “friends with benefits”. He said there was no point in making it official since he was leaving soon. He went back to Florida and we kept talking. He told me he missed me, and that he loved me. And the “friends with benefits” thing we had going on when he was visiting started up again. He knew my parents were moving to NC and that I wouldn’t be going with them, he then he asked me to move to Florida to be with him and to become his wife. He told me he couldn’t see himself with anyone else. I told him he was moving too fast and that I had other arrangements and that me moving in with him would have to wait for a little bit. He agreed that we were moving to fast and that he want to take things slower, but he still wanted to keep up the “friends with benefits” thing. I told him I couldn’t do that anymore, that it was making me really confused on what he wanted from me. The next day he told me he was re-thinking everything he asked me. We decided to just be friends and see what the future held, maybe try this relationship another time when things weren’t so hetic in our lives. However he would get jealous when I would talk to any of my guy friends on Facebook, especially this guy I had a crush on from work, Chris. I kept telling him that Chris was only a friend, but he didn’t believe me. Then he started to get a bit distant, and that concerned me. Then he started texting me like him being distant never happened. We would be having a conversation and I would ask him something but he wouldn’t answer me or he would change the subject, even if what we were talking about was something he brought up. He would still get a bit jealous and assume that the things I posted up on Facebook were about him. I told him they weren’t and he seemed to believe me. But he has a tendency to not answer my texts. I don’t know what to think.

ReplyFebruary 9, 2011, 4:05 pm


Hi, there’s this guy in my class and I have caught him looking at me a number of times. I don’t really hang out with his friends but if we happen to sit near one another he tries to make slight conversation with me. So I asked him to be friends with me on facebook and he accepted. Last night I chatted to him through f/b and he replied but then when i replied to him, he went offline. Today I seen him in class and he avoided eye contact with me, what does this mean?? I’m really confused because he stares at me sometimes and used to try make conversation too??

ReplyFebruary 8, 2011, 3:54 pm


what if the guy when you first meet gives you his number, youtext him and he is very nice and eager to reply with the odd 20 minuite delay and seems genuinly interested then says at the end of the night text says txt you tomorrow , doesnt txt and when you text him the following day after a day of nothing you say “what you been up to ” and he simply replies” nothing just sitting watching tv you? xxxxxxx”

what is with that ?! he also asks me to do something with him, etc and always talks about doing stuff but he cant even text back when he says he will and i dont waant to seem “needy” so im going to wait till he text me… but what if he doesnt ? …

ReplyFebruary 8, 2011, 1:41 pm


im so confused i have been on and off with now my sons father for 3 yrs in the begining he was still messing around with hes ex of 6 yrs and than we were just on and off he went back to her and she got pregnant and while she was expecting a baby i had a 3 month old son wich is now 1 yr old while i was on my trip to colombia hes ex messgeed me tellinng me a whole bunch of things and when i called him to ask him if he loved me he told me he didnt and that he had never told me he loved me but because he thought she was on the phone when i got back from colombia he wanted to be with me so we tried to work it out one more time but it doesnt seem to work cause i do not trust him he wont call me like that anymore and he comes over and stays till a little late but wont stay the night and he only wants to have sex when he wants not when i want he tells me he loves me and he just brought me aorund hes family once and when we are together he turns off the volume he says he loves me and is not messing with hes ex but i dont know anymore should i start ignoring him too see if maybe he will actually pay attention to me sometimes he wont even call me for days i feel like he comes to me when hes horny he says he loves me and wants no more drama cause i always argue with him about if hes talking to her and if he doesnt pick up i acuse him of being with her or someone else can you help me and give me a little advice

ReplyFebruary 6, 2011, 4:21 am


I have a few questions regarding a guy i just met. I met this guy out one night and he seemed like he liked me, i dont really know because i wasnt that into him..I just kinda was dealing with him, because i felt bad. But after that night he was texting me, and i was kinda annoyed i didnt even want to talk to him, he didnt seem like my type at all so i was kinda playing hard to get with out even knowing it. He kept asking me to hang out again so i ended up meeting late one night with other friends and we only saw each other for a short time b.c he was with him freinds..they were even making fun of him saying how much he wanted to see me tonight. I still wasnt that interested. anyway he kept texting me after that and we met up one more time b.c he was litterally begging me…I ended up having a great time, and so did was casual we talked alot we kissed and that was it he even said can i call you, i said sure and then we talked for about 3 days through texing after that. i initiated once during those three times. NOw my question is … he txted me something..i texted him back but then he didnt respond, the next day an appology..i responded no text back… now i havnt heard from him in 3/4 days. ..And its kinda making me wonder now because he act. was alot of fun. CAN YOU HELP ME

ReplyFebruary 1, 2011, 9:32 pm


i didnt text my man back for a few hours and he called me, so im glad this worked. he has been busy alot so texting back and forth and what not is annoying, he is trying to see me more but the time factor affects us, but sex yesterday was amazing but our time got cut short when we rushed to get autographs at a local store. I still wish we had the time to reconnect and cuddle but i think this man is the one for me for now.

ReplyJanuary 25, 2011, 2:15 pm


I don’t understand something about guys. When they are NOT interested, why can’t they just tell you straight up, “I’m sorry I don’t like you in that way” or anything of that manner. I know this guy doesn’t like me and I really like him but I was trying to get over him when he texts me out of no where like a month like and he’s like hey whats up and how we should meet up. I was like okay but then when it gets to the meeting up he has bailed on me twice. So I just wanna ask him why do you bother at all? like just leave me alone. It’s not like he’s getting anything from me anyway, I don’t even see him. What’s his deal? Can you please explain it to me?

ReplyJanuary 25, 2011, 9:57 am


Okay this guy I really like is confusing me. We met on FB a few months ago and we’ve been texting on and off and he’s called me three times in total. A lot like the first example up there, a lot of times he will text me first and reply to text messages within a minute and at other times he takes hours to answer a text message even when it’s a simple question like “so what are you up to?” I don’t understand…we will be texting back and forth for a few, then nothing. He hasn’t texted me since Sunday and today is Tuesday. Should I just text him today and be like hey whats up? We are supposed to see each other this Friday and I really want him to come.

ReplyJanuary 25, 2011, 9:50 am


Did I mess this up—or will he contact me again?

Ok, so this guy and I officially met a couple of months ago, but we would stare at each other from across the gym many months before that, nearly a year.

When we finally talked it was because I went up to him one night after working out and told him I was into him. He told me he never approached me because I had a dude, which I did and still do. I know it was partly that, but also because he’s extremely shy and doesn’t really talk to anyone.

We started seeing each other though and of course it got physical. He hadn’t been physical with anyone in like a year–and trust me, I believe it ;).

But, even after we got physical, he was still really into me, texting me every day. We became friends and then it started to become more. One day he pulled back and said he started to feel really guilty. We continued the physical, but it steadily started to slide down hill. I continued texting him, but he would only politely respond—unless the message was suggestive.

The last time we spoke, he told me he still wanted to do what we were doing, but it seemed so complicated with the lying and sneaking around. I told him it would be less complicated now because me and my dude might be ending things. He seemed into the idea of things being easier now–I thought we were on the right track to schedule some fun. I didn’t talk to him for a day and then hit him up the day after with a cutesy, suggestive message.

He didn’t respond. He’d never not responded before. It was weird. So a flurry of texts later (about 4), asking why he wasn’t responding and being so mean and so forth, I finally stopped texting. That was about two days ago. We’ve never gone longer than two days without talking. I’m resolved not to contact him. Is this the right move?

I still want to continue our arrangement, not sure why he’s being so difficult. I realize I looked really needy. I hate that I looked that way—but, is this salvageable. Is there anything I should or shouldn’t do? Do you think he will contact me again?

He kind of put up with a lot over the past couple of months, with my neediness and my angry dude, to get the physical stuff…so, I’m wondering if he’ll still want this arrangement or if he’s just fed up. Please, tell me what to do here.

ReplyJanuary 21, 2011, 10:31 am


Thank you soo much for telling me this! It really was helpful:) I get so frustrated with guys that I just don’t know what to do! Thanks for the tip.

ReplyJanuary 16, 2011, 11:25 am


I doubt this is being updated anymore, but I’ve recently moved across the world for a few months (maybe forever) and I am almost 20 years old. I am debating what to do with my life, because I am very passionate about a lot of things and currently doing a lot of things here (moving with family, helping them, hanging out with people, meeting new people, deciding on classes, etc.)… at any rate, I was staying in a hotel when I first arrived and about two weeks ago I met this cute guy at this store. I made a joke and he had a pretty nice response to it, but I thought nothing of it and didn’t think I’d meet him again – I also thought he was a bit older than me and therefore wouldn’t be interested. Some time passed and I went back to the store to buy some things (it also has a cafe, and is one of the only places around there you could really hang out in so it wasn’t that unusual). I happened to see him stocking things and asked him if we had talked the other day, because I actually wasn’t even sure if it was him. It took him a second to remember and then we had a very long, great conversation with lots of equal questions and a lot of smiles, long stares, and I asked him quite a few times if he would prefer for me to leave him alone – because he was a) working and b) I know men need their space. He preferred for me to be with him until the store was closing, and of course I know it’s silly but the conversation was going so well that we goofed off and such. It turns out he’s my age, we’re about a month apart and we have so much in common. He’s also really handsome, and I think he finds me attractive. I think he’s also drawn to the fact that I have a different accent and background.

So he told me to come back on a certain day since he couldn’t give me his number that night. I was busy that entire day and I got there way too late, the store was closing and I was with someone who probably intimidated him! The person that was with me said that he looked at me, but we were never really sure if he recognized me. I think I made a mistake here because we sat outside at another cafe and waited to see if he would come out and say hello, but he never really did. I also had straightened my hair which had originally been curly, so I think I looked really different. I’m not sure if he was too scared (he’s very shy, I did all the approaching both times but he was very keen to speak to me like I said) and so nothing happened and I felt somewhat embarrassed but chose to try one more time. I waited a few days, between having a life and just being a little nervous I went to the store with another friend and this time we bought coffee and then split up so there would be no pressure or leering stares. I bought something and asked him if he remembered me jokingly, told him a funny story and then I waited at the counter for him to check out a few more people (which admittedly, was awkward but I didn’t want to lose my chance so I pretended to be busy looking at my magazine and then said I had a question which was why I was waiting). I asked him if he had somewhere I could contact him so I didn’t have to stalk him at work, and only if he really meant we should hang out (which he had said last time, that we should hang out sometime – I didn’t ask first). He said something along the lines of ‘oh yeah, that’s right we got interrupted last time!’ and neither of us acknowledged the other night I had walked around there… thank goodness… and he gave me his number, and my friend who had apparently watched some of this told me he appeared really nervous! And like I said, he’s shy. So anyway, I said I was going to go read my magazine in the cafe with my friend and he actually told me to bring him a magazine (so we could talk, presumably) but I felt like I was going to be doing too much if I did that for him… even if it was just to chat, I now had his number so I figured when I texted him we could chat so I made a silly joke about him having legs or something and went off to find my friend.

Now, I waited until the morning to text him but I’d entered the number wrong by mistake so actually it ended up being around dinner time when I sent him a text for real (the next day). I got a very fast response! I was delighted, and I was engaged in a conversation with a family member so I replied about twenty minutes later. We exchanged a few texts, not much and then he told me yesterday night he had been working (I don’t know if he really was, but I think he wouldn’t lie because… duh I know where he works. Not that I’d go and check, no way!) and that was okay anyway since I had left my phone at home while I went out to the cinema. I told him I’d been out with friends and I was probably going to go to bed unfortunately, and he said something like “okay, goodnight then :)” and then I said “probably happy to get rid of me!” Which was a total joke, but maybe it didn’t read that way… I have a very sarcastic sense of personality, which like many sarcastic people kind of comes from insecurities. He replied saying something like “so you’re not going to bed?’ and I told him another joke, saying technically I’d be sleeping on the couch but it takes a little time for me to fall asleep and I was also hungry! (Hoping maybe he’d say something like… “well maybe we can go out to eat sometime, even if it’s late now”). And bam… no response… Should I assume he fell asleep and is working/enjoying a day off today, or assume that my sarcasm confused him? None of my response were too quick because I really was getting ready for bed, I wasn’t planning to stay up all night talking to him at all… and now I’m worried I blew it. He hasn’t texted me at all today, and granted it’s early… but yeah. So, if he doesn’t text me back by let’s say tomorrow do I text him and say what’s up or do I wait some more time and see if maybe he’s just really busy? If he does text me, do I coax him into hanging out with me like he originally brought up or do I wait for him to ask? I’m worried he’s too shy to ever get the ball rolling, either that or he’s just “pity stringing me” which means that he noticed I don’t have a ton of friends here yet and that we did have similar things in common but he’s NOT attracted to me… But that’s a worst case scenario… HELP!

ReplyJanuary 12, 2011, 8:55 pm

dee dee

emily… no good asking me.. im useless at reading men….. i always blmae myself that im coming on to strong but then think hold on there texting just as much as me…. so sorrrry i cant help you on that one….

ReplyJanuary 6, 2011, 9:04 pm

dee dee

Hi guys stumbled across this sight.. help me please…
I got together with this guy that Ive known for a while but never thought anything would happen.. any ways one night about a month ago we got it together stupid that i know that it is we spent the night togehter. He got in contact and exchanged numbers, we’d text all the time, I adventually got bored of texting and suggested a drink, which he agreed to. He suprised me one day and came in to were i work and had a drink in the afternoon, he was so flirting and touchy feely, any excuse to be near me , im a good reader of body language. before he left he came to me and said good bye and kissed me. which i have to admit shocked me. as hadnt taken me up on the offer of a drink, or quiet night in.

Everything was great for couple more days until his mates started winding me up about the the fact something had happened between us. So i told him what theyd been saying he seemed to take it ok at first, but then got offened saying they dont know anything about him…
and then turn on me and asked why was i so interested in him, my answer was because i quiet like you…. doh..
I said dont ask them anything about you there just telling me stuff, dont worry about it, i keep my self to myself. he got all offened saying he didnt like people talking about him, and that he couldnt see anything happening between us, sorry not happy with him self right now.
I said well little strange that but i understood, i was easy just wanted to get to know him better that was all. and that i thought it was strange as you went from kissing me the night before, 2 cant see anything happening and was a little confused about it all that was all and hoped it wasnt because of his mates taking the piss…. he hasnt replyed to me since. I told him a really like him and he likes me too i dont know what to do now…. just to leave him or to try and get back in touch…. help me please im going crazy..

ReplyJanuary 6, 2011, 9:02 pm


okay iv been dating this guy for a month and the first to weeks me and him would be talkin or txtin all the time but after those two weeks he just stoped talkin to me. when i txted him he never texted me back, and when i called he would say he was doing somthing. I really like this guy and i dont want us to break up or anything but what do i do? Does he still like me?

ReplyJanuary 4, 2011, 2:00 pm

Nina Mehta

this really helped me to. Thank you soo much for the advice. I can relate to this as i went through the same thing a couple of months although i never spoke to him about it, he used to completely ignore and when asked why he would say he was busy. I’ve been looking for some advice for a long time as i kind of felt really alienated from his company. This is extremely helpful .. thank you!! :)

ReplyJanuary 4, 2011, 10:11 am


This was excellent advice… I’m dealin with this now n I’m definitely goin to stop texting him… It’s his lost not mine…

ReplyJanuary 2, 2011, 7:58 pm


this is such a good site. i dont think i will ever understand men myself, but i agree with one thing… if a guy is really into you, you wont have to play games and all the BS about who last texted and who didnt answer who etc.

i think we deserve to have someone treat us with respect and not play silly games with our feelings.

ReplyDecember 30, 2010, 9:44 am


This guy i like told my best friend that he liked me for about a year and a half. I even asked him and he didn’t deny it…. but he doesn’t like to text. He used to text me every day throughout the day but lately he wont text me at all. I texted him like 7 times this week and he has yet to text me back. Finally my friend asked him out using my phone pretending to be me. He didn’t answer does that mean no? It was a few days ago… :( please help me!

ReplyDecember 26, 2010, 9:26 pm


okay, so i met this guy one night when i went to the movies and he gave me his number. We texted for about 2 weeks, and i hung out with him twice, both times with our friends with us. When we wud text he would tell me how pretty I was and how much he couldnt wait until we hung out again. Also, in person he was super shy around me. Now we have been talking for about a month, and we agreed to hang out soon but he hasnt texted me in like 4 or 5 days and hasnt said anything about hanging out! whenever i text him he says nothing about hanging out. What wud make him all of a sudden stop talking to me?

ReplyDecember 21, 2010, 8:13 pm


Okay, so there is this guy, we just broke up but we are trying to work things out. When me and him are talkin by ourself he is all conserned, but you put him around his friends and he will walk away from me when i’m talking and just be like whatever I dont care. And say stuff that he doesn’t say when we are alone. He also acts different in txting he will be like I just dont know. but when we are in person he knows. and now he wont text me back what do I do? HELP!

ReplyDecember 19, 2010, 2:09 pm


So, there’s this guy that I’m interested in and “kind of like and he feels the same way about me. We’ve actually talked about our feelings towards one another on numerous occassions and we just mesh well together. (Always smiling/laughing/teasing/flirting-but sex has been out of the equation.) In any case, we have gotten to know each other really well and I’m glad it started off as “us” being really good friends first. Anyway, we email each other quite a bit because we live more then a few hours apart and we actually met through a mutual friend. (We’ve seen each other, in person, more then a handful of times and it’s just been an amazing time!!) This guy has swept me off my feet!! Moreover, on my days off from classes, we email each other back and forth/on and off for hours because he cant talk on his phone. (I understand, since he is at work. Just dont think this was an everyday thing; either he was not busy or his work would take him away from his desk.) Not a problem! (I even had to email him through his company email address; otherwise he would get in trouble w/the company.) We did exchange numbers and I’ve tried calling him; but he never picks up my calls! He just texts me back later and tells me that he was just busy or that his phone was not on him. I dont text/call him too much; otherwise there may be other excuses and I dont want to feel let down/hurt/or feel confused. But, I’m always the one that texts him first and it takes hours for him to reply. (Sometimes, he gets back the next day.) And I dont even text him everyday; maybe once or twice a week! I just find it odd that he can devote hours towards me, while he is at work, versus when he is not at work. With that said, there was a time where I kind of made him feel guilty for not answering my texts and I told him how it made me feel and he texted me back within seconds. We ended up having a texting session for over an hour; but that hasnt happened since! I dont know what to think and I know he doesnt have a GF because his Facebook status says single and everyone I’ve spoken with says he’s single as well. I know that there are a few other girls who are interested in him. But, the things we talk about and the things we tell each other makes me feel like I’m the only one he wants because, as of now, he’s the only one I want. (Could it be that he’s hooking up with other girls/a girl? Maybe, she’s around and he doesnt want to text in front of her or accept my phone calls?) I honestly dont know what to think and he already knows how I feel. But, I continue to fall underneath his spell; time and time again. (Trust me, I dont have to deal with this! I could move on from him.The fact that he doesnt want me the way I want him is driving me crazy!-Shower me with love and attention! Like, it’s bad enough that I cant see you everyday; talk to me!) Anyway, I’m the one doing the chasing; when it should be the other way around, right? This is just all new for me because usually I’m the one being pursued…haha…Argh! This is so hard! A little insight please?
P.S. Girls are different from guys. We’re so much more emotional and tend to put a lot more emphasis on that area; whereas guys tend to think more on the physical level. Guys just need to take our cue and show that they care and appreciate us because we tend to make ourselves vulnerable and wear our heart on our sleeve.(I know I do.) I just want a guy who shows he cares about me and takes my feelings into consideration as much as I do for him. It doesnt take a lot to make us happy. All you need to be….is there. (In it!) No games….

ReplyDecember 18, 2010, 2:08 am


Hey, so I would like your thoughts on my situation, Ive started seeing this guy for about 2months now, things were going really well, he was taking me out on dates for example for a few drinks in town, the cinema, out for dinner, the casino..he was a really nice guy. I wouldnt normally go on such formal kind of dates as id be quite shy and feel awkward, Although I dont think I came across shy to this boy, I felt relaxed and was myself with him.Anyway he stayed over at mine a few nites and I stayed at his, he meet my housemates and I meet his work mates and his nan who he lives with and I thought all went well they seemed to like me, I was really happy and starting to really like him,Until last saturday night I went out for his birthday, all seemed fine that night and he asked me back to his and said he would leave me home the next day, which he did, the 20min journey home I felt we were being quiet with one another, but I was just tired and bit hungover and thought he was probly the same, so didnt think anything of it really, that night he text me a nice message, asking what I had got up to etc, Then next day was monday, and mon to wednesday night we had been briefly texting each other, but only one or two txts at the most, I just thought he was busy and couldnt really txt but he seemed fine in the messages so thought I was just over thinking it again.But on the thursday morning he replied to my txt I sent late the wed night asking him to a house party, he said he was deffo busy that weekend and a sad face, I was ok no worries..but I havint heard from him since…It has now been a week, I kind of dont get it, pretty sure I didnt do anything wrong, I have a wee birthday present still sitting ere for him,,so feeling rather silly now..My sister said to me maybe he just goes out with girls for short periods of time for bita fun and thats what he does.Do you think this could be right..Im a little tempted to txt him and ask have I done something ,in a kind of jokey light hearted way, because what have I got to lose right now…then again maybe not…hmmm help .. :) thanks

ReplyDecember 9, 2010, 12:31 am


alrighty…so this is a question that alot of girls deal…and i’ve never seem to understand it.Anways so me and my bf have been dating for 4 months and at first we always talked like litterally 4 hours and fb chat and we both ,equallywould send a message “out of the blue” -at times….(btw we’re both in high school,im in grade11 and he’es in grade 12),anywho,lately we’ve both been busy with school and seemed to have stopped texting. We only get tosee eachother @work andsometimes he will take the time toseeme on wed.or fridays(becuz i’m terribly busy with vollyball games and homework and so is he)….he’s always responsive to my emails/messages,but the last timei saw him( which was last sun)…he told me that he always has to be the one sending the message first, but the thing is i don’t want to sound “needy”….i told him that i was very stressed out with school and stuff and he was very considerate and understanding. I sended him a message a day ago and he hasn’t got to me yet,which is somthing he wouln’t do…Is this normal??….does he still likeme?;s….is their anything i should improve on or watch out for??…i mean he’sagreat guy and is not that kind that goes off flirting with other girls..he even toldme that he was not aplayer and that he can only date european girls( which i am=D)….anyways hope u have an answer for me!!!=D
and sorry for the huge paragragh=D

ReplyDecember 8, 2010, 4:04 pm


And should it matter if I have a car or not even though I am trying to get one to a guy cause I think that’s why certain guys don’t want to give me the time of day or even want to know me

ReplyDecember 2, 2010, 5:33 pm


I am really having a hard time talking to a guy because I don’t have a car right now and I am trying to get one and I think it bothers some guys that I don’t. I am talking to this guy he is a local RnB artist and all and I explained to him the situation and he always say that plans on coming to see me and all so we could hang out and when I ask him when he would like to do that he says soon and said he would let me know and when he says he will come and see me he never does and he hardly text when he does he just two words to me and I was just wandering what do you think the deal is with that? He is after all a local artist and all

ReplyDecember 2, 2010, 5:30 pm


hi eric, as i see you give good advice on the texting situation i also need your help. Ivebeen working with this boy for a while now , hes always flirting and playing around with me shows that hes interested (he even asked me out to movies but i said no at the time because didnt want to seem too easy)he also took me home once. The thing is that althought he is really close to me at work as soon as we leave from there its like thats it. When i text him he answers like hours later of maybe not even atall and he would say the next day oh i fell asleep or i didnt see the text until late. He hant turned up for work in 3 days and i text him yesterday but he didnt answer… why is he doing that??could it be because im 18 and he is 23? or maybe he is just not into the whole texting thing???

ReplyNovember 21, 2010, 6:40 pm


Hi folks (including Eric):
All I can say is this:
The world seems like a lonely love-starved place.
And human beings (self included) seem to live more and more in the mind.
There is less and less heart-awareness (thank God we women still have it or the planet would devolve into sheer ego-chaos).
It seems to be a matter of normal human compassion for a human being, male or female, to be honest and direct if they are not following a usual communication pattern.
Ie: if texting every day was the norm, and suddenly no texts for a week, an appropriate thing for a man to do (I say man because most women do do this) would be to say, “I am busy right now, but wanted to let you know I am around, be in touch soon.” Or even, “I am not interested in you but I appreciate the time we had together.” Something.
There is, quite frankly, no excuse for rudeness.
To me, it is rude to assume for any person to assume that others can read their minds. Or to just drop a person, ultimately, without further word.
I don’t care if that person is male, female or martian.
I think that is a point that even the most mind-based man can agree with as being fair and reasonable. But fair and reasonable does not seem to apply to a great many male species out there.
This does not bode well for the status of emotional health in the world.
And the funniest thing? When I mention this to my male friends they agree! And they tell me, “Yeah, I do this to women too! And I don’t know why! I guess I can’t help myself.” Yeah, they can. The one who was frankest with me told me it was cowardice.
The world needs its men to be strong and heart-aware. Not cowards.

ReplyNovember 18, 2010, 7:04 am


Hi folks (including Eric):
All I can say is this:
The world seems like a lonely love-starved place.
And human beings (self included) seem to live more and more in the mind.
There is less and less heart-awareness (thank God we women still have it or the planet would devolve into sheer ego-chaos).
It seems to be a matter of normal human compassion for a human being, male or female, to be honest and direct if they are not following a usual communication pattern.
Ie: if texting every day was the norm, and suddenly no texts for a week, an appropriate thing for a man to do (I say man because most women do do this) would be to say, “I am busy right now, but wanted to let you know I am around, be in touch soon.” Or even, “I am not interested in you but I appreciate the time we had together.” Something.
There is, quite frankly, no excuse for rudeness.
To me, it is rude to assume for any person to assume that others can read their minds. Or to just drop a person, ultimately, without further word.
I don’t care if that person is male, female or martian.
I think that is a point that even the most mind-based man can agree with as being fair and reasonable. But fair and reasonable does not seem to apply to a great many male species out there.

This does not bode well for the status of emotional health in the world.
And the funniest thing? When I mention this to my male friends they agree! And they tell me, “Yeah, I do this to women too! And I don’t know why! I guess I can’t help myself.” Yeah, they can. The one who was frankest with me told me it was cowardice.

The average woman has more courage and strength to love in her pinky than the average guy. When the average guy starts owning his right to love, and starts realizing how liberating it is to live in his heart, NOT his head, then maybe it will be OK for women to be women too.

Whenever a man who lives in his heart is looking for a woman, let me know. I’m not holding my breath.

ReplyNovember 18, 2010, 7:02 am


Eric, I just finished reading your article on the whole no texting situation and it makes a lot of sense, but I’m a little confused because not all guys see things that way. I asked my friend roger his opinion on the way my boyfriend was acting and when I told him about your advice he was like that’s not true about the whole “games” thing. If he likes you he’ll text you all day long. And I’m very confused because I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and I usually don’t feel any sort of deep connection with most guys but with this one I do. We’ve even opened up to each other about personal things and I know for certain that it wasn’t any sort of act he put on. The first two weeks was great he would always make time to see me out of his busy work schedule. He intorduced me to his brother and friends as his girl friend, just as I did with my friends. But lately he’s been really distant, and I understand he’s busy but he just doesn’t put in the effort anymore. It’s like seeing each other once a week is good enough for him and it kills me because I like him so much and I just want to see him everyday. He’ll text me every now and then on the days that I decide to not even bother to talk to him, but he’ll stop as soon as I’ve replied. It makes me feel like he’s just checking up on me, like he’s saying “hey are you still alive? okay good just checking.” And I don’t understand it. But here’s my real question, we’ve moved pretty fast intimately because, well, I couldn’t help myself. And I’m usually pretty prudish about those sorts of things. I knew I wanted to keep him when he told me he would wait for me before we became intimate, and that sort of made me want him more. And I’m wondering now if that was a mistake. Whether we might’ve rushed into everything too soon and maybe that’s why he’s being distant. Or is it possible that it could be something else? I really think we’re a perfect match personality wise, we get along so well and I don’t want things to fall apart so suddenly, so I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to keep that from happening?

ReplyNovember 14, 2010, 3:22 am


Very well written and thought provoking article.

ReplyNovember 9, 2010, 2:10 am


Eric can you plz help me with my problem?

ReplyNovember 5, 2010, 3:17 am


I have a little problem here, well okay my boyfriend is like asking me (im his gf) for my best friends number and he keeps askin me, what school does she go to? and the biggest question… IS she single???? i dont know what i should do? is my boyfriend interested in her? does he wanna talk to her, idk… this is really weird i need help?

ReplyNovember 1, 2010, 10:31 pm

sarah c

The part where you said to not always be available when the guy wants to hangout opend my eyes a little because this guy i like we hangout like once every week, but i have to ask him. He’s told me he likes me but he “doesn’t want a ralationship” it really confuses me because he leads me on../: what do i do?

ReplyNovember 1, 2010, 6:12 pm


Okay, so I don’t understand if this guy likes me or not. All my friends always says that he likes me but I don’t think he does. Like he would play around with me and stuff. Such as, tap my shoulder when i’m not looking, flirty stuff. But like my friend asked him if he liked me and he said not really. But everyone else thinks he does because he seems to “flirt” with me all the time. I don’t know if I should just move on or keep giving him signs I like him too?

ReplyOctober 26, 2010, 5:56 pm


i was talking to the person that i like, well texting him and the thing is he’s my ex but that was in the summer and we’re friends now and i kinda started liking him recently.. we were texting and he asked me ‘do u still like me if u dnt say no’ and i said’ yeah.. why’ he was like ‘jw’ and i was soo confused about it… and i asked him and he said that he didnt know if i was just flirting or if i liked him… and like sometimes he occasionally stops texting me when we’re talking, but it usually takes a while for him to reply.. sometimes… and he was saying that hes not talking to this girl anymore and that he was gonna be single, but not for long, and i was confused by that.. like what did he mean by ‘not for long’ for being single…. and we’re like constantly flirting but idk if he likes me or not because like yesterday we were having a normal well sorta normal convo and then tooday it’s like he just keeps the answers short…. i asked him before if i was annoying him and he said no, and i don’t wanna ask again because then i actually might be annoying… and the thing is, i don’t have a phone, i use yahoo IM so i usually have to text first.. and idk because i like him a lot and idk if he likes me or is just flirting?? and i haven’t really hung out with him only like right before we dated was the last time, and i want to because i want to see how he acts around me, but i don’t want to seem annoying…. help?? i know that this has like nothing to do with the topic but oh well.

ReplyOctober 25, 2010, 9:06 pm


I heard that this guy who i thought rly liked me was dating this other girl when we were supposed to be exclusive i got really pissed and immediately blocked his number… i didn’t want to speak with him ever again. everyone told me i did the wrong thing and i should let him explain so when i texted him 2 days later he never answered and still hasn’t answered some people say just move on now and some people say i should send him a text or call him about how he didn’t respond to my text and i deserve an explanation if he was seeing another girl i don’t want to give him an ego boost like i still miss him but i just want to know if sending him a text or to call him first is wrong?

ReplyOctober 24, 2010, 1:53 am


hi this is my situation. i have a friend that i met four years ago whom i was very attracted to when i first ment him however i still do find him to be very attractive . but i only see him as a friend. we met up and went out for a drink one evening and got talking he began giving me compliments like you have nice eyes and teeth etc but i did not think anything of it. he then went on to say that he was a scorpio and that they are ment to give a girl good a screw now why he said that out of the blue i really don’t know i found that to be strange and thought well maybe he must be trying to tell me something.
but i did not respond i just ignored what he said and went on to speaking about something differant. he then said to me that he had a girlfriend and i said ok then we just continued talking. when the evening had finished he then asked me when he was going to see me again and i said that i was not sure. we then left and he wanted to go for a walk on a quite road i told he that it was a bit chilly and he put his arms around me and said taht he was giving me abit of his body warmth i then said that was very nice of him and that was it.
However when we did get talking again via text he then said that he needed to speak to me face to face and i said why and he then said to me that he did not want to mess around behind his girls back i then got confuse and asked him what he ment by that, and that i was not looking for a relationship with him cause i am not ready for one at present and that i only want to be friend with him and that is it . and he said to me that i may have been thinking of just being friends but he was not thinking that way he wanted more that just friendship. i thought ok and then i just left it at that.

Then there was another time when i text him to invite him to go somewhere with me. he said that it would be nice and that he would love to come and when it came near to the time i text to find out if he was still up to coming and he did not reply to my text im now actually beginning to think if he finds it hard to be around because of the attraction he has towards me or is he just strange or he is playing games. from a mans point of you can you summerize everything that i have said and advise me on weather or not i should keep this person in my phone as a friend or just stop cut all contact with him.

ReplyOctober 9, 2010, 6:24 pm


I agree with Bethanny.

ReplySeptember 29, 2010, 1:49 pm

ska ska

I hate men, im going dyke.

ReplySeptember 29, 2010, 1:46 pm


So the guy I was talking to was amazing and really attentive. Kind of the same situation as “when a guy withdraws” article. Anyways he bailed on our last date and I know he feels really bad because the next day hes been texting me trying to feel things out and acting like nothing ever happened. He text me “hey, wat are you doing” or “no more calls no more texts?” I have been busy living my life and not readily availabe at all. I know he wants to call but I think he’s afraid Im going to get on him for standing me up. What are some good text messages reponses to show I still like him, but am not going to put up with this. If he wants to talk to me he can call me. So specifically what would I respond to the “no more calls, no more texts” message?

ReplySeptember 29, 2010, 12:15 pm


Wow, Eric you have made me realize a lot!!

ReplySeptember 27, 2010, 3:14 pm


I really don’t think “neediness” is an issue. Sure no one likes a “needy” person.
But I know for a fact that if a guy was totally into a girl he would give her the world!
When a guys likes a girl he cant get ENOUGH of her.

To all you girls, stop with these guys who aren’t that into you. You deserve a guy that can at least text you promptly. I PROMISE you all that when you find a guy who is crazy about you, you won’t even be having these issues because before you even have time to worry about him texting, he’ll already have actually picked up the phone to ask you how your day was.

Same thing goes for men. You deserve a woman who is crazy about you and you know if she likes you she won’t be able to get ENOUGH of you!

Stop with the drama everyone.

Drop these losers and go find someone who wants to give you the world!


ReplySeptember 21, 2010, 11:13 pm


Okay so im going with a lad who is in the army and is based in Germany! We used to text quite a lot but he’s all of a sudden stopped making the effort. I rang him today and he answered but put the phone down so i text him asking why and he said he couldnt hear me but he was being really short. He has been like this for a couple of days know and its really getting me down.
I dont know what to do could really use some advice

ReplySeptember 20, 2010, 2:03 pm


I have what to me is a very weird situation. My best friend is a man and he is also the one that I am in love with. He loves me but not the same way. We have known each other since childhood (more than 30 years and yes I have been in love with him for that long). I can accept that he doesn’t care for me in the same way and he has a girlfriend now. But I am a bit needy but I need him as a friend. It seems like I am always helping him through his rough times when he is not involved with someone, but when I need him as a friend he isn’t really there especially when he is involved. It is like you said about where he is not trying to lead me on while he has a girlfriend, but as best friends and he will tell you I am. I do need him to be there to help me out when I am down but if I try to tell him that it frustrates him and he starts cussing at me and it feels like he is verbally attacking me. I don’t know how to get through to him and feel like I am losing his friendship.

ReplySeptember 14, 2010, 1:56 am


I truely appreciate this site and it is better than those relationship books or discs. Eric hits the point quickly without wasting our time by talk ing around the point so to get readers to make purchase. Thanks. I also see disagreement everywhere as a sign saying readers are interested and they want depth. Myself want to share a bit of thought from a different perspective serving as a enrichment of what this topic is about.

Neediness is one of the reasons that turns a seemingly good relationship (or interaction) sour. Yet, it is not the true reason. The true reason is that both sides are not on the same page. Let’s say someone is pathetic and needy and insecure. He (she ) won’t have any problem with the relationship if he (she ) can find the counterpart just like him (her). On the good side, there are soul mates and love at first sight, so no game at all. Neediness becomes mutual. So it doesn’t matter. But, let’s face it. A lot of us won’t have a instance relationship. Some trust is given as a starting fund. The rest is earned. Testing/self-protection is an unfortunately and inevitable jurney for most of us before the destiny.

Girls, here is a not so good example. Did you ever see a female animal watch indifferently two males fight to death for her? She won’t help neither but choose the winner when he proves himself. And that is natural selection driven by built-in instinct of her. Why we girls can’t even perform that? And we have to chase after guys and care so much about what they do and how they act? Reason: we have too much desire and not enough natural instinct. We have to be woman enough to not to chase man. Since we deserve to be chased. Don’t ask yourself to be less. A particualr guy who won’t try hard enough is simply not good enough for a particular girl.

Yet, I know girls don’t like guys who couldn’t keep their general promises like “I’ll be right back.” “I’ll call you at such such time” is not solely because of neediness. This is not neediness. This is trust. If you can’t trust a guy with his word, how can you trust him as a person? No one is obligated here. If one doesn’t mean to do something, please don’t say it. Mean what you say and say what you say. No need to ask him to behave. Simply cross his name off your attention list. He is not worth it. In general, girls are more particular about how certain things need to be done in a certain way as a common curtesy. They simply have higher standard and are more conscious about behavior. They apply that to themselves. One standard.

Girls are also multi-taskers. Just because we are very into relationship doesn’t mean we don’t have enough going on in our life. We do. But we are simply more passionate and giving and caring toward people in general. When it comes to relationship, women are more purpose driven. We girls should be proud of the way we are. We are made this way for a very good reason so we can provide better and more care to our infants. But when you are facing guys, they are not wired the same way. Remember your instinct and selection to start with. You couldn’t help but do all the investing later on because that is your nature. It’s ok if you can’t fight it. Don’t. Be courageous. It’s a double-edged sword. Meaning you should also be courageous to let him go if you find that he just doesn’t fit and you are investing in a bad stock. Get out off there! You should know your heart well. Its strength and weakness. What it can and can’t do. Where its limit is. As long as you have power and control over your own heart, you can date without Waterloo. Control is power. That control is to control your own heart. So to decide how things would be around you, the key is you.

ReplySeptember 5, 2010, 10:57 pm


I have a burning question that’s been buggin the hell out of me for days now. I have a Facebook account and a classmate of mine (who has shown an obvious interest by looking and following-from a distance), have just started Facebooking each other. We had our first online chat last Sunday. Now, I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t make the first move and all, and plus I really don’t bother anybody, but I’ve been really careful in this case cause I do have an interest in this guy. What I did was I let everything spread out, like I would send little message just saying “Hi” , like letting him know that I was thinking about him. I only did this every other 2 or 3 days so it wouldn’t look like I was needy. So anyway, I noticed a few days ago that I was missing him on my Friends list. One of my friends told me that it’s either one of two things: either he deleted his Facebook account or Facebook deleted him. I know I wasn’t bugging him to death or anything like that, but I just have to know what happend and if it’s anything against me. Funny thing was, on Wednesday night at school, I saw him walking across the street looking at me, but as much as I wanted to , I really couldn’t talk to him, cause I was on a short break. Please give me an answer to what’s going on cause I can’t stand it!

ReplySeptember 3, 2010, 12:56 pm


Hey Eric,

Just trying to seek some advice/suggestions about this guy i’m seeing…

I work at a hotel and i met him because his conference comes in for meeting rooms etc. (this happened in January 2010) He approached me and initiated conversation. He’s very charming. Asked me for my number, i said no but i’ll take his and he gave me his business card. He stayed and talked to me until my shift was over which was a very long time and before i sent him on his way i left him my number. He texted me the next morning with a cute morning text and we would flirt back and forth. He then sets a date (it was for a Tuesday) to meet up and grab some coffee. We were excited for our date, but then that Tuesday morning everything was strange to me… He hadn’t texted me the cute morning texts he did every single day since we started talking. I waited until noon and still no text so i texted him and said “So i take it i won’t be seeing you tonight?” his response a couple ours later was “Why do you say that? did i do something to upset you? I’ve been quite busy that is why i haven’t responded quickly. I don’t want you to feel like i’m avoiding you. Maybe i was alittle too ambitious in asking you out for coffee. Maybe we will try again another time =)” my reaction was “It’s okay, forget it.” Which was probably a mistake and hadn’t heard from him. (Alittle break down: We met in Jan, he came into work to surprise me sometimes and chat with me for hours, we texted lots, and then everything ended in April because of that Tuesday date)

I rarely work at the hotel now so i hardly see him anymore. I only work Sundays at the hotel now but there was a Tuesday where i was asked to come into work to take a shift and little did i know his event was there for a meeting room that day. My heart raced alittle, he walked by and saw me and said “Hey”. In some senses it felt like he wanted to talk but one of his buddies budged in and grabbed my attention away from him. He then walked out and left. I sent him a text right after and said i missed him. He admitted it was his wrong for ending our relationship the first time. We began texting again like how we used to except his weren’t so frequent. He would text me back within 3-5 hr periods. It bugged me at first but after talking to some people i dropped it. But it does bug me when all i ever receive from him is a text in the morning, a text at around 5pm after work and then a good night text.

Recently he’s been setting trips, i’m guessing because it’s summer. He’s gone on hikes, he went to banff, and stayed in the mountains for the weekend but he doesn’t tell me any of this until he gets back into town. I would keep my mind off of him by keeping myself busy at work. But by night if i still don’t hear from him i get alittle antsy. I don’t find myself ever saying anything to him though…

I’ve never brought up the negative things to him or how i felt. I always make it out to seem that i’m okay with everything and that what he’s doing doesn’t bug me.

I guess my question is, is he not that interested in me? or could he possibly be seeing someone else? He’s 34 and he’s the oldest man i’ve been with which is possibly why i feel different with him because all the other guys i’ve dated have given me priority. Everytime i don’t hear from him, my mind makes up the decision in letting go and it seems as though God is playing a game with me because everytime i’ve decided to let go, he will contact me and then i am back to base one.

Does he not text much and is it normal because he’s 34 and he’s busy? or am i making up excuses now?

In some ways i feel insecure, i feel like maybe he’s seeing someone else…

Your opinion would be greatly appreciated. Sorry my post might be alittle confusing as i have so much on my mind and i don’t know how to express it since everything happened in different periods of time.

Thank you in advance


ReplyAugust 11, 2010, 8:42 pm


to i’ve got a question,
the guy i like texted me yesterday and then we had been talking for maybe like 2 hours and then he asked me who i liked. i basically did the whole like idk if ill tell you stuff for a will which i guess made him want to no more. so i ask him who he liked.. i swear i thought he liked me because in our conversation we were having earlier and was flirting with me,we had been hanging our at the pool earlier that day and he works at our icecream stand and i left to go back swimming and then i never came back before i left and he told me he i had. and so when he said he like no one and he swore and i didnt no what to say but eventually i told him that truth. and i said “well i sorta like you…” my friends are saying he probbly feel asleep before i responded because it was late at night, but i think there just being good friends and not saying what they really think.

i have gone out with this guy before.. we broke up over childish reasons.. it was in the begging of 7th grade now its summer time and were going into 8th we have both really matured over this past year. essapacialy him.
i really would like a guys opinion! thanks to much:)

ReplyAugust 11, 2010, 10:02 am


Hey Eric,
There is this guy who lives about 6 hours away from me. We are in our final years of high school, and I met him just last year because our parents have been good friends since they were kids. The first time I found out about him was on facebook. He made a comment on one of my photos saying I looked hot. lol. The following October, I saw him at an LSU football game. This was the first time we actually met in person. He was extremely sweet, and we spent the whole day together at the game, and he put his arm around me and held my hand. He asked for my number but I didn’t have texting back then so I just gave it to him in case he wanted to call. He never did, but I understood because calling can be awkward when you’ve just met somebody.

Then the following May, he wrote on my facebook telling me I “hey long time no see, what’s up” “You are absolutely BEAUTIFUL”, things like that, etc. He wanted to see me again so we made plans to have our families meet up at a lakehouse for a weekend.

That weekend was amazing. He was so sweet, complimented me all the time, showed off to impress me, and it was obvious that he liked me. This time I gave him my number again now that I have texting. So again, I had to go back home 6 hours away. He texted me the next day, and every day after that for about 2 weeks. And HE would text ME first a lot, which I loved, and when he didn’t text me first by late afternoon, I would text him. Of course, he was always very sweet in his texts. He said he wanted to kiss me so bad at the lakehouse but didn’t know why he didn’t. He said he really liked me, complimented me numerous times, said he wanted to be with me, asked me to apply to the college that he wants to go to so we could live close to eachother next year, etc. He started planning to come over to my house, and I started planning to go to his. Whenever he asked his dad to come here, his dad would say they don’t have time, so it was hard for him to make plans to visit me. However, my family has made plans to visit his next month at the lakehouse again. He told me the plans he had for whenever I visit him in his city, told me where we could go and all the places he’d show me. He even wanted to play “the 20 questions game” that a lot of guys like to play when they have a difficult question to ask… and he asked me how far we would go. I told him not too far at first, but as we get to know eachother better we could go farther. He said I sounded like a pretty cool girl, and when I asked him the same question, he said we would go as far as I’m comfortable with. This was great to me because I knew he didn’t just want to get some. He said that on a friday.

The following day, a Saturday, was the first day he stopped texting me. I texted him, but he wouldn’t text back. I decided to give him some space if that’s what he wanted, and only texted him about twice that week. No response. Then at the end of the week I asked if there was something wrong, because we had texted and skyped almost every day for two weeks and then he just stopped. He said everything’s fine, he just didn’t feel like texting sometimes and “didn’t want to skype anymore”. BS?

For about a week after that, I checked my phone WAY too much, like every 20 minutes the entire day, hoping he would text. When it started to sink in that he wasn’t going to, I became really mad, going for runs at the gym and listening to a lot of rap to shake it off lol. Then I became really sad for several days, almost depressed and complaining to my friends all the time about him and I’m sure they got annoyed. Then out of the blue, after like a month, he texted me asking when he was going to see me. We tried to make plans for him to come to my house by himself if his family didn’t have time… it gets a little complicated here. He thought the plans would be more likely to work out if I had my dad talk to his dad, but my dad said my guy should talk to his own dad. So my guy, (i’ll just call him B), sent me the text he was going to send to his dad asking permission to come and visit me. He supposedly sent his dad that text… a few days later I asked him what his dad said. He said his dad “hadn’t responded” but it probably wasn’t going to happen.

Well that’s the last I heard of him, and I’m seeing him at the lakehouse next month. I have no idea how that will go, but I need your opinion.
Why do you think he was talking to me all nice, every day, taking the initiative to talk to me and try to see me, and then one day just drop out of the world?
And what do you think I should expect at the lakehouse? Should I tell him how he hurt me? If he says he wants to be with me, should I make it work or end it because of the distance between where we live and also the way he just left me because he could do it again?
Please, I need your advice! I need a guy’s opinion.

ReplyAugust 11, 2010, 2:36 am


heyy, i have been talking to this guy that i met recently and i text him every night and i start the conversation. he texts back and all, but i dont know if he doesn’t text me in the day because he is at work or because im using my moms phone to text and he doesn’t want to bother her…i just dont want to mess things up that haven’t really gotten to far..i have made that mistake too many times! We have a lot in common. i just dont know what to do. can you help?

ReplyAugust 9, 2010, 10:08 pm


Hey Eric, so this guy Adam, that I was talking about before, things have changed a little….I needed to sort out my feelings, so I wrote him a letter, being completed honest, and I still have it, and I dint know what to do: send it and risk him showing all his friends causing total humiliation on my part, send it and he takes me seriously and keeps it to himself, or keep it and read it every so often if I feel like it…… I don’t know know what to do, since the letter explains everything: my feelings for him, how we met, all my impressions if him, an my cutter confusion on why he didn’t want to talk to me all summer. I might see him on the 12th, hut he probably wouldn’t even say hi then, but then again, I don’t know….. Any advice or ideas on what I should do???? Thanks!!

ReplyAugust 6, 2010, 9:45 pm


what dose it mean when a guy usually always tells you to text him first? like when were done talking at the end of the day/night he’ll always say “okay hit me up tomorrow”, its rarely ever that he says “ill text you tomorrow” unless i end the conversation first. and also this guy constantly is asking me why im acting weird .. or is something wrong if im the slightest bit short with him.. yet he is always short with me most of the time, and im always reasuring him nothings wrong and then the conversation just gets awkward. we’ve been talking now for almost 6 months and were still not official and were getting ready to go to school together in the fall. could you please give me some insight… hope that all made sense. haha thanks so much!

ReplyAugust 6, 2010, 11:33 am


Hi Eric, I came across this website because I’m new to texting, and dont really know how its done with regards to response time, or all the other etiquette involved with texting.
I purposely avoided texting before, not wanting to fall into the whole ‘walking around with the phone stuck to my face’. I am an adult woman, I am cute, I just dont feel the need to be constantly found. like at the supermarket or when I’m out for supper, if a person cant necessarily ‘find’ me right away, thats a good thing. So a ‘good’ friend of mine, found me while I was on vacation, I happened to check the time on my iTouch, and I had an offline message from messenger on my screen, which then directed me to my messenger app. I briefly went in saw that ‘he’ (the good friend) was online still, he was the one who had left me the offline message, but I hit the home button and checked my email, in doing that he left me another message with a sad emoticon say “aww you left” .. I hadnt talked to him in a few months so it wasnt expected of me to talk to him upon initially seeing him in messenger, being why I hit the home button on my iTouch and left messenger. so I went back and talked to him. It was basically friendly chat, until I asked him why I had the pleasure of having this time with him, he then told me he had a few minutes before he had to run to work, that he just wanted to say hello. So I responded with a “hello, and we’ll catch up soon”.. and then he said ok, and then he flirted with me.. that little flirty comment he made had to do with how he missed me and my great butt.. which I thought was funny, since I hadnt talked to him for a while, and he was so out there with that comment, I like the open and honest way he speaks to me, I’m not offended by his comments, we have flirted like that for years, whether we were in relationships or not, because we’re so attracted to each other, we just live in different provinces now. He then went on to say that he missed me and wanted to see me, and since I wasnt home and on holidays that maybe we could text…
Well we had never had to text before, we usually just used messenger or hotmail to stay in touch, he had asked to text me years ago, and I declined, and then he asked to skype, and I declined. Until the other day when he asked me to text with him.. the way he asked I thought was cute and I could sense this need from him to want to see me even through a pic, so me being funny I asked him if he had forgotten what I looked like and he said NO! he just missed me…I thought it was cute! and because I hadnt talked to him in months, I considered the idea and told him i’d get back to him with my number via email, athough he’d already given me his cell number. I emailed him my number later that night and went to bed, when I woke up I had noticed a text picture message from him.. ya… well.. I texted him back a “good morning” and he said he wanted a pic of me, and then he asked for a sexy pic of me.. which.. was just sexy, not graphic. Feeling hesitant.. I agreed, hesitantly because texting isnt my thing let alone sending sexy pics.. whatever.. I sent something cute and his response was more then positive.. we texted a few more times throughout the day, and it started being something fun for me, I do like him, and I know he likes me, so I was happy with it.. it was fine.
I wasnt expecting to hear from him again this morning, because like I said we dont always talk.. it would have been to soon, and I dont want to have those kind of expectations with anybody.. Im always doing my own thing, but because I had fun with him yesterday and in part because I am on holiday and not around all my friends and other attachments.. I suppose it filled a void for the day.. I am having fun on my holidays, though that ‘texting’ was different and exciting from the norm.. I dont like playing games because I am an adult woman, I pretty much know what I like and what I want for myself, and this particular man knows this of me, but because I am new to this texting I guess I dont know how it works, I dont want to over step or get ahead of myself, normally I wouldnt over think something this simple I would just do it, and whatever, its usually fine.. but today I was anxious about it.. I checked my phone and he didnt text me.. not that it was expected.. I checked again later.. and at that moment I thought I would text him a quick cute little message. I know that not all texts or emails warrant a response, let alone an immediate response. but I havent heard back from him and I thought shoot. It could obviously be a number of reasons as to why he hasnt sent a response back.. maybe he’s playing games and now keeping me waiting.. I dont like it I’m forthcoming with almost everything, so it makes me uncomfortable. I just sent one message today, I wont be sending anymore, and if he texts me back (after reading your advice, and some comments) I think I will make him wait it out! haha.. I dont like playing games like that, I dont think its necessary, BUT I also dont want to feel bad inside about something so trivial.
I didnt need to read your advice, because this is all something I know already, I thoroughly enjoyed your advice as a quick refresher.. Thanks.. I also wanted to tell you that I think its so good, that your reading these texting issues and responding to most.. The responses you gave were all very well worded and I was impressed with your honesty and the way you tried to help even with out knowing all the details of the readers relationship..
I could only imagine knowing a man like you, that would talk so openly and honestly with some knowledge and thought about what he’s saying, in one of the comments you mentioned in so many words, that people are attracted to people for different reasons that its a mystery to men why women suddenly become attracted… I dont know anything about you but I was attracted, just by the way you spoke.. and then I saw that pic.. haha.. I think you’re awesome. Keep up the good work.. Have a nice day!

ReplyAugust 5, 2010, 6:58 pm


ok so me and this guy have been together for 6 months
it was going well and everything he used to text me everyday and respond pretty quickly
he had a job but when he would have his break he would actually take the time out and text me
but these past two months we meet sometime like maybe once a week and we always text i asked him “why dont you call me” he said he “does not like to talk on the phone” so i just gave up on that and said okay…but now he doesnt text me at all barely and when we do talk it is at night
i know he is busy and has his own life so do i but that does not mean that you cant take 2 min of ur life and text me saying maybe that im busy talk later….
this past week i just gave up on him and dont text him and dont wait for him either and when he does i sometimes dont reply because i dont feel the need to say anything anymore..
and once he didnt text me the whole day until like 2 at night saying his battery was low and phone turned off and i was like okay….but then he said the same thing again the next day and i was lik thats not possible so i told him u are lying to me…and then he finally told me that since he works with his dad he does not let him text….i told him y couldent u just tell me that from the start y do u have to lie abou it……
and also this whole month he is not working so i was like so we hang out more and he said he cant because his grandfather is coming and he has to be with him…like seriously bullsh*t
and i have been thinking abou breaking up with him cuz our communication is really bad
so wats up him? y he actin lik that

ReplyAugust 4, 2010, 6:51 pm


Okie dokie Eric I got a question…
I have known this guy since 2007. We met in the summer and at that time he was EXTREMELY clingy. I pushed me away (I was kinda flaky). However, once in every blue moon I would fb chat him just to ask how he was doing. This last time he told to text him. I didn’t text right away (not because I was waiting on purpose, but bc I was really busy). Well, since then, he started truth or dare by phone and wanted me to answer several sexual questions (I’m a virgin and he knows that, when we first met we had many long convos about this). He said he was cool with me being a virgin, but continued to ask me questions that comes off (to me) as rude. I guess my real problem is that if you know certain things about me then why try to compromise my beliefs or morals?
On Friday he asked me to send him a pic of me in my underwear… I said no and explained my response. His response “Aww you suck”. There are other flags or things that I don’t like but since I really don’t know him know I let them pass. One of the other flags is that on fb it says in a relationship with: NAME! I asked him in the beginning if he was and he said “no I’m just dating” (WTH) then why does fb has your status as otherwise?

Anywho, lol Friday night @ 9pm (my time) I said “you’re elusive, It’s like I know you, but I don’t, which brings me to the conclusion that I don’t know you. Just a thought…moving right along” (lol haha I know you’re going to get me for that) he replied “Oh”.

My questions are, why can he ask me ANYTHING he wants (and for the most part I answer, only avoided one question out of MANY!) but he can’t answer my questions?

He hasn’t sent a text and neither have I. But, I was wondering if I should apologize for my actions because it was out of my character and he’s definitely not my BF, was I wrong?

I actually like him, but I think I may be romanticizing about the guy I knew not the one now… by our last conversations, I feel that he only wants a physical relationship now and that not me (but I could just be creating this too).

ReplyJuly 27, 2010, 1:20 am


Hi Eric,

There’s this guy I was in a relationship. we broke up the end of last fall and remained friends through our spring semesters and throughout this summer up until now. We got really close.
He and I talk on the phone every day if not every-other-day, and we text ALL the time.(pretty much every day) We both respond to each others messages within the hour.
We always laugh and have GREAT conversation… Plus he’s told me that he does in fact like me and that he thinks I’m special and a good person.

Recently, i noticed he’s taken interest in another girl. Which is totally fine…he and i are not committed… However, with him investing so much time everyday talking with me I thought it might actually mean he was really considering working towards us re-establishing a relationship again…. I guess i was mistaken….

I told him that it’s best if he and i put some space between each other until i no longer have anymore romantic feelings because i don’t think i have what he wants in a relationship. I assumed his feelings were as strong as mine but i guess we were not on the same page. I told him not to call or text me for awhile and that I’m sure he would understand.

He and i later had a phone conversation…. He said that he was interested in two other
girls plus me… And that he could not give me a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to wanting to be with me. He said he needed more time and that he needed to get to know me longer.
(we’ve known each other for a year and 2 months)

I told him that he can’t expect for me just to sit around and wait while he decides to figure out who he wants to be with…. Next thing he says, i was putting pressure on him.

I told him i wasn’t trying to put pressure on him. But i can’t just sit idle and expect something with him when he might choose someone else. I don’t want to over-invest.

Then he went on to say, two can be good for each other but it doesn’t mean they are compatible; He also brought up our past relationship and the mistakes we made….and questioned if we might repeat them. I told him that we need to set provisions, or steps in order where we won’t make those same mistakes…
Then he brought up people that might have crushes on me and why did i hide him out my news-feed on FACEBOOK!
At that point, I just stopped the entire conversation and just said he and i should be friends and that we will not be talking on the phone every day nor texting every day. Then he said can we still be close? And if I completely stop talking to him that would be bad.

And the end of our conversation, i said we’ll just be friends, and if something happens later down the road then maybe we’ll be together again.

I think I made the right decision in distancing myself from him. I truly liked him and cared a lot. Maybe he did have care for me in some aspect; But i just don’t think he wanted me.

What I’m SERIOUSLY trying to figure out is why did he invest all that time texting and calling!?!?!?!?! and why couldn’t he give me a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to wanting to be in a relationship with me? What do you think????

I feel like i wasted my time; But all in all i will remain to have a lot of care for him.

ReplyJuly 24, 2010, 3:18 am

Eric Charles

“I just don’t like being thought of as needy when I expect someone to respect my time.” Expecting someone to respect your time does not equal neediness. NEEDING them to act a certain way or you get angry/sad/upset/self-conscious does. Expectation is fine, but your reaction is your responsibility.

From your comment I feel like I need to clarify that I don’t think girls in general are needy – I do think that anyone (guys or girls) has the capacity to be needy. And if that’s the case, it’s destructive to relationships, plain and simple.

Generally speaking, it’s nobody’s responsibility to meet someone else’s criteria for how they should or shouldn’t act. The best thing we can do is take responsibility for how we handle things – people are going to be people and if someone has a tendency to act a certain way, it’s your responsibility to recognize that and decide whether or not their character is compatible with yours. If it is, expect that they will act they way that they act. If it isn’t, don’t get bent out of shape when they act the way they act.

I appreciate your feedback and I respect your perspective. But you have to realize that I’ve got hundreds of e-mails about this article and approaching 100 comments on the post itself and you’re the only one with this interpretation of the article. I have to tell you that your interpretation doesn’t match up to what I was saying in the article, which makes me think your perspective is being colored by your current experience.

In the context of this blog I share my perspective with women on dating topics. In my life, I work with guys as well. You would be amazed how many guys have similar hangups about women acting rude or flaky or not acting the way they “should” be acting. I tell them the same thing: Your response is your responsibility.

ReplyJuly 19, 2010, 9:25 pm


Eric, thanks for the response, but I think you misunderstood me. I apologize if my original post was unclear (I was pretty irritated when I wrote it). I’m not upset about not getting responses to every text message immediately, clingy people in general are annoying. And for the record, I don’t stay with people who treat me badly, I don’t think every flaky guy who’s bad at communicating is a complete asshole, nor do I think all guys are jerks or anything like that. I just don’t like being thought of as needy when I expect someone to respect my time. All I want is common courtesy. It seemed like there was this idea underlying your article that girls are needy and that somehow justifies being rude to them (maybe you didn’t intend it but that’s the way it came across to me). And of course in my irritated state I got all ranty and ravy and said something. Regardless, I still think a guy can avoid dealing with nonsense without being rude about it, and also without being a wussy pushover nice guy.

ReplyJuly 19, 2010, 7:31 pm

Eric Charles

@emma – Why should the guy have to respond to you when you want, how you want? And why should you NEED him to respond that way? In the grand scheme of things, it’s so insignificant that getting upset about how a guy responds to a text message is enough to make a guy want to avoid you. I wouldn’t want to deal with a girl who flips out unless I text her the right way…

I’m not trying to be mean, but this isn’t guys imagining things. This is guys not wanting to deal with nonsense. And plus, it’s not all guys… it sounds to me like you happen to date guys who act like assholes when it comes to texting you. That’s not the world’s fault or even men’s fault. You are responsible for your dating choices.

Want to get text messages every time you send it? Date a pushover wussy nice guy – he’ll shower you with attention and affection… :) Or… stop taking a guy’s text message habits as meaning something about you and/or your relationship. A man’s world is bigger than your text message.

ReplyJuly 19, 2010, 5:44 pm


I understand your take on this, but it still pisses me off when I ask for specifics (because, incidentally, I do have a life, and my time is valuable) and get lame vague answers, then either a guilt trip for making other plans, or he acts like it’s neediness when I’m annoyed my time isn’t being respected. Sometimes I think men are so afraid of this imaginary needy woman they’ve constructed, which they expect us to potentially transform into at any time, that they just preemptively assume neediness is the problem, when the real problem is that guys frequently act like inconsiderate immature cowards who expect women to just go along with whatever their whim is. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I’m normally very nice and do not get angry very easily but this is one of my pet peeves and such a lame turnoff. Just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I’m a pushover, and just because I like being communicated with doesn’t mean I’m effing needy. The guy I’m about to dump over this was friends with me since we were kids, thirteen years we’ve known each other, and we’ve been romantically involved for two. I love him to death but I don’t see how I can stand this type of thing permanently. I spend enough time with him to know he’s glued to his phone. There’s no reason why he can’t send me a simple “I’m running late, I’ll be another hour” or something, especially when he knows I have other things to do. I hate feeling like I’m potentially ruining such an important relationship in my life by breaking up with him over this, but I don’t see how I can stand to be permanently with someone who does this. And it’s not just him. Lots of guys act this way, both guys I’ve dated or guys I’m friends with who I see acting this way toward the girls they’re involved with. I shouldn’t have to change, they should.

Sorry to bombard you, but that’s my rant.

ReplyJuly 19, 2010, 1:53 pm


So my problem hasn’t been solved, but I guess I wasn’t sure what I needed to know…. So this guy, Adam, is from the rival school, he’s a starter on their soccer and basketball teams, and I really like him, but he told me, completely out of the blue that he doesn’t want to talk to me until after the summer’s over, why could it be that he wants this after we talked for hours and hours so many other times?

ReplyJuly 17, 2010, 12:09 am


so usually this guy texts me everyday, and if he wants me to text him first , he tells me the day before. either way we usually talk everyday. he told me he likes me awhile ago and i told him i like him. this is the first day where he hasnt texted me. at alll.i dont know if i should be worried about this? i really like him and i really dont want to lose him but i dont want to be too clingy. should i ignore him? i dont want him to think im not intrested anymore but i also dont want him to think im annoying if i try to talk to him. i dont know what to do.

ReplyJuly 15, 2010, 12:10 am


I am a grown ass woman and you are a grown ass man. If…

…I call you several times and you don’t pick up
…I leave you voicemails you don’t reply to
…you don’t return my calls
…you don’t answer my texts
…you say you’ll call me back but don’t and then don’t bother to call me the day after either…

…then I’m going to assume you’re not interested, tell you I’m assuming you’re not interested and that I’m no longer interested in you or your inability to freaking communicate, then move the hell on. Cause adults shouldn’t have to play games with each other. I shouldn’t have to not call a guy so he’ll think I’m unavailable so he’ll be freaking interested. And if you are playing games to get a guy to notice that you’re not that worried about his ass not calling, then you’re not ready for an adult relationship. You’re interested in oneupmanship and games and BS.

ReplyJuly 8, 2010, 12:41 am

Avra C.

hello my names avra. i am working at a summer camp and it is my first year. on the first day i met this guy who is 2 years older than me (he is a counselor in a different tribe). so i friended him on facebook that night because we talked that first day and i thought it’d be okay…so we fb chatted that night too. i really liked talking to him on the computer as well as in person because i started to develop a little crush on him (his name is ben). so the next day at camp we say hi and stuff but its hard to communicate because we have to stay professional and the campers come first, so it’s hard to socialize and stuff. i see him around camp though because he helps out with basketball, which my campers go to sometimes, so i see him there and we talk a bit. every night though throughout the first week of camp we would talk on fb, and he would start the convo one night and i would start it the other night, it kind of went back and forth like that. one night he asked for my number on fb chat and i gave it to him so we started texting. we texted throughout the camp week too and talked when we could at camp…but still, nothing too much since we have to stay professional.. we were having a nice convo via texting on a friday night, and he stopped responding so i figured he was busy. we didnt talk at all saturday and i texted him sunday and he never replied. he was on fb chat but didnt IM me at all throughout the weekend. thinking that i did something wrong and that he lost interest in me i went to camp feeling a bit frustrated. he didnt wave to me in the morning or smile like he usually did. but then basketball rolled around and he asked me what was up and said hey and started a convo. i guess my confusion is this: why doesn’t he wanna talk to me via fb and text? should i just not worry about it since he talks to me in person anyways…which is probably better in the long run? and how do i get closer to him? its hard to do this throughout the camp days…and i told him that i would like to hang out sometime so im leaving that up to him to ask me to hang. i dont want this to turn into a texting/online thing (if he ever does contact me again through those things..). i just need advice on how to handle this. my friends say that i should never ever text him first which i havent, but its so hard. if he wants to talk to me then he’d text me, correct? i dont wanna seem annoying and always text him first. :/

ReplyJuly 7, 2010, 6:29 pm

Sarah H

Ok, so me and this guy have been talking for a few months and have only met on three occasions. He has these phases where he’ll text me all the time everyday and call a lot, then he just drops off the face of the earth. He says sweet things, calling me babe, boo, and other pet names, and eludes to future meetings. We just saw each other two days ago and in those two days he hasn’t made an effort to contact me at all. I texted him last night and still no response, should I just play it cool and not text him, and just wait til he texts me? And how long should I let the silence last before texting him?

ReplyJune 30, 2010, 3:25 pm


heey, well there is this guy i really like and i dont know if he is interested in me or not. we text all the time but sometimes he makes me think he doesn’t like me by not answering at random times but i figure he is busy with work , but other times i think he might like me when he sends me smiley faces randomly and he acts all flirty but i dont know what to do my friend told me that he asked her 21 year old sister if she was single and he said it right in front of me but someone help me . i want things to happen with this guy .

ReplyJune 30, 2010, 12:19 pm


Ok, I get what you mean, but it’s hard not to think about him a lot, and I guess I don’t know how to get over him after all of it

ReplyJune 30, 2010, 1:01 am


Umm. I think Guys that don’t text back Just don’t want to. They probably have another girlfriend and just don’t want too hurt your feelings but seriously I’d play the same game. Well i do play the same game. I like a guy and he lied to me and it broke my heart. I am still crying he was sweet but i guess you can judge by that :!.

ReplyJune 29, 2010, 1:28 pm


Hi, so there’s this guy that I like, he’s from our rival school, and the other day I texted him saying hey, what’s up? And he replied, saying that he doesn’t really want to talk to me because we don’t really know each other that well. I told him straight up, point blank, that there’s a simple way of changing that. But he obviously didn’t understand what I meant, and now I don’t know what to say to him to get him to have a conversation with me. Even after we talked( well texted I guess, bu basically the same thong anyways) for 5 hours one night, and all of a sudden he just didn’t want to talk to me that much after that night…what should I do?

ReplyJune 25, 2010, 11:08 pm


I been interested in a colleague lately we got to know each other at a official party . It seemed like he liked be back ever since, I text-ed him first after the first time we met and he did seem to reply quite enthusiastically. I was travelling for the next few weeks and I am back now, I get to see him at work and have casual conversation, on one side i do feel he still likes me back yet i wonder why he wont reply to a simple text msg that would say – ” How have u been?” Its been a few days now.

Should i just let it pass?
I can possibly not think of any reason why he would not text back to a very casual text as this; even if he were not interested in me. help!!

ReplyJune 25, 2010, 11:22 am


If you text a boy saying it’s over between them and they dont text back , does that mean they dont care ?

ReplyJune 22, 2010, 2:22 pm


i was talking to this guy for about 6 months. but we never got into a “serious relationship”. i would constatly hear he would be talking to his ex girlfriend but at the end they were just rumors. he did alot of things for me that proved he liked me. about a month ago i told him i didn’t want to talk to him anymore and that we were better of as friends, even though he was very upset we were just going with the flow but things between us where still the same, like if we never stopped talking. i started hearing rumors about him talking to one of his friends and when i asked him he completely denied it. last week i saw a picture of them two dancing at a club the weekend me and him had gotten into a fight. i flipped and told him to get out of my life. he deleted me from facebook & deleted my number. yesterday i alpologized for saying such thing and he told me “he was going to think about it”. i’m very upset & i think he doesn’t care anymore since he alredy has somebody there :(

ReplyJune 16, 2010, 5:13 pm


Hi, Eric Charles, will like to know your true opinion, i was dating this guy for almost three months, he always make the approach and we both know we where attracted, he was very nice with me, calling me all days, texting me, we also had sex, it was very nice sharing, until one day, i invited him to a party.iItold him the day before that i will pick him after 8 pm , because i was going to work, he says it was ok. When the day came, i arrived to my work, and a put my cel phone in my locker because the supervisor was there. So when i go out of work around 7 00 pm i called him to let him know i will pick him, i saw on the cell two text messages, which i couldn’t reply because he know i was working, in the past i used to reply because my supervisor wasn’t in the area. But this time i couldn’t. But when i called him several time he never picked his cell. The next morning he text me at 6 am and i called him, he says he called me a lot and message me, and i dint respond. I told him i was working, and he knew i was going to pick him up after 8 pm. He told me, i called you and get tired, but i didn’t have any miss call, just two text messages. He told me he wanted to talk to see where do we stand up. I says it was ok, i ask him if he liked me to go to his house and be aware pf picking the phone, he says it was ok.I told him i will call him like 12 pm. I went to sleep again and called him at 12 pm, but he didn’t respond, called him like 4 more time more later until night, but never pick it.So next morning i just wrote him a card, telling him about the situation. But he never answer me, so i decided no to call him more, after 7 days i tried to call him just one time, but nothing, he also never went online, how he used to do. So, after 10 days, i saw him online, but he didn’t respond to me, so i didn’t even to him. After almost 3 weeks, he text me Hi. I hope you are ok. I responded the message after 2 days, saying i as very fine, how about you, But he never respond either. He went back online, but he doesn’t speak to me, So, I really don’t know what did i did wrong or why is he behaving like that, i think is so immature, he just keep ignoring me after all we share, and even says me why did he changed from one night to an other with me?? I don’t think i am being needy, i never acted like that with him…in a moment i called him back, because taught maybe something happened to him, but when i saw him online, i realize he was a least ok.??

ReplyJune 15, 2010, 11:18 pm


Okay, So i met this guy through a friend about 2 weeks ago.. we havnt met but we have been texting a lot and i think im starting to like him..He dosent usually text me first. He has mabye 2 times. But he always asks me why i dnt txt him and that i should be the one textting him. is that true? Also when we text he sometimes responds in a few min and other times over an hour. Does that mean that he is just busy? and he just texted me and all he said was text me later…i dnt wanna ruin anything with him cuz i like him. please help me out with what he is most likey thinking.. thanks :)

ReplyJune 15, 2010, 9:26 pm


Thanks a ton for replying.I am and will try my best being carefree,its bit tough though.I will surely follow your face book advice as well.lets see how things turn out.I will let you know if anything favorable or unfavorable follows.Thanks again.

ReplyJune 10, 2010, 3:00 pm


don’t call/ text first. ALSO – stay off facebook chat for at least a week – appear offline and don’t comment too much on stuff cos he’ll see. you already let on that your not happy about him not texting you as much and he just ignored it – that is rude! shows that he doesn’t care enough to make sure that you are feeling good about this r/ship as a text only takes a minute to send. also if he doesn’t reply to your calls then that is the same if not worse – he should be making an effort.

because you texted/ called back before giving him a chance to reply, that lets him know that you don’t mind if he doesn’t reply because you will keep coming back so he won’t bother to make an effort now.

if he texts/calls you, text/call back also cos again its rude not to reply BUT wait a long time before you reply (at least a few hours normally the same day but if its late at night wait till the next afternoon/morning) because you have other things to do than to be waiting around for him. ALSO if he texts keep it brief. your r/ship should not be based on texting cos that’s a bit lazy no? if he texts you something trivial like ‘hi hows your day’ just be like ‘doing an assignment if your not busy drop me a call a little later’ – that way he has to make an effort to talk to you and I’ll say it again don’t go on facebook because if he chats to you there, he won’t bother to call you. the object is to get a CALL not a text.

if he calls you, again try to be brief – don’t talk about anything really on the phone. try and find a time to meet up SOONISH! just be like ‘hey, sorry i thought i’d be free to chat now but i’m a little pressed for time. do you wanna meet up ___day? (coffee, cinema, whatever) – don’t go on facebook once again because this just looks like you were making it up and you don’t really have anything to do. texting/ calling is great up until a point. when you meet up and see the person face to face then you feel that spark/ chemistry. you also have more to talk about after the date (do you remember that time we did this…etc)

it’s a little weird that he’s telling you he loves you no? especially when the two of you only text and its only been a month!

you did the right thing not to reply to his comment.

also, he’s just a guy, there are plenty around. if this one doesn’t work out then its not you, perhaps you just didn’t click. the WORST thing to do is get analytical about everything (texting patterns, facebook page checking). you have to train yourself to not care honestly princess you must resist!!!! the more you beat yourself up about it, when he finally does text/ call you’ll be really overjoyed and get too emotionally invested. guys are different they take a while to become attached. don’t wear your heart on your sleeve just yet and keep your options open.

ReplyJune 10, 2010, 10:56 am


I am seeing this guy from past one month.since the time we hooked up he was never into calling me much.he calls once in three days or so and that too for five to six minutes.we chat via texts more.there has been a change in his texts pattern.from past fifteen days his texts reduced even if he does he just forwards me normal messages with occasional “miss you” and “love you” in the end.he is not chatting now a days and haven’t text me from past three days.he called me the other day but I was in my class and could not take his call when later on I called him he didn’t took mine.Yesterday after two days of resisting myself from texting I text him asking how he was doing to which he replied in lovely way that he was doing good and asked how was I doing,then I guess I did a mistake by dropping a message saying that he does not think of me now a days to which he didn’t reply.during these fifteen days he stops texting after sending few and replies only when he feels like or does not do at all and I keep on waiting like fools.he says he is keeping busy with work and its right to some extent but then hes has time to play games on face book and has time to comment on people’s links but has no time to text and ask my well being. when I call him he does not take my call and later on tells some or the other lame reason.another thing yesterday he commented on one of my posts which read “bitter reality”(which was actually for him) he wanted to know what i am finding bitter to which i didn’t reply,I hope I did right by ignoring his comment.
anyways please tell me what should I do to make him text me or call me.What I am doing wrong.Will ignoring him help?I am way too much confused.please help me!

ReplyJune 10, 2010, 9:40 am


I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months and he has backed away and i have been reading about what this means and what i have done for this to happen. I have found i have done quite a few thing wrong. So i am going to give him his space now.

The main question is that is i decided to stop contacting him as of today as i need to make sure i put myself first again and to work on myself as i feel i must have smothered him. He didn’t reply to my two messages yesterday but sent me a message today but just saying “well my weekend was great” i feel like he likes to make me jealous of what he is doing or he trys to do things that he knows i would want to do just to make me upset.
How long should i wait to text him back if he makes me wait?????????????

ReplyMay 31, 2010, 10:58 am


WOW…Bianca, you are right on target!! Truer words have never been spoken. If people want to play kids games with each other then this is what you get. If you are serious and sincere with another person, Bianca nails it! Bianca, you should be running this site! Thanks for the input girl, it is true true true!

ReplyMay 30, 2010, 8:45 pm


@ Reece
Q1. why guys shy away when you show interest.
i used to get the exact same thing. it’s this phenomena called ‘the thrill of the chase’. some guys don’t like women who know what they want and don’t like the BS of playing games as they find this aggressive. i’m not advocating game playing but instead of being honest like i was before and just making it clear i was interested, i held back a bit. initiate contact, flirt a bit, then let them come to you. if they don’t then that really isn’t the kind of guy that you’re after if he can’t be bothered to make some effort in return. or, continue to show interest and you will see at lot more guys retreating away in shyness, BUT you could eventually find a guy who matches you and isn’t afraid of a forthright woman.

Q2. hate to say it, but the first mistake was after he stand you up even the first time, you should NEVER have agreed to another date. that just sends the message that its ok to mess you around. no matter how nice he was/ you thought he was its just NOT ON to treat someone like that (unless of course his reason was legit – someone was hospitalised/ dies etc) but obv his intentions were crappy because he stood you up twice. i really wouldn’t worry about why he got angry as he obv was a pig!

Q3. yes it is difficult question why we have to figure men out. however, a relationship should be about compromise. if you want flowers from a man then i believe you shouldn’t get them. something like that should be because HE wants to give them to you NOT simply because you want them. won’t you be happier if he surprised you with something romantic rather than hinting heavily? if you’re with someone who isn;t making any effort to understand you/ want to please you and you are effectively ‘doing all the work’, you should talk to them about it rather that waiting in silence for something that may never come.

ReplyMay 28, 2010, 8:25 am



Hi lila,

guys are really weird like that. maybe he is trying to remain cool by not texting you back (seems like he also might be shy if he won’t make the first move). rather than just exchanging looks, try and hang out with him in school. get to know his friends a bit (say hi, ask about what classes they go to… find some common ground) that way it will be less weird for you to go over and chill with them.

TAKE THE PLUNGE! in the olden days it might have been expected that girls don’t make the first move but you like him right? just be really casual ask if he’s seen this latest movie, do you want to hang out after school or meet up on the weekend to enjoy the good weather. that way he’ll know that you’re interested. even if its a group thing, you need to get away from the school environment so he can see you in a more relaxed way. within the group, you guys can hang and get things going.

if he says no perhaps he’s a little shocked. if you feel brave enough, try once more and if its a no again (even after he has had time to adjust to your new found confidence) then i would say to leave it. i wouldn’t say flirt with everyone but have a look round at other people. he’s not the only guy there is. perhaps if he sees that your not just totally into him and you have interests of your own/ other people who might be possible dates, he’ll be more interested and want to snap you up before its too late.

whatever happens, you will be fine!

good luck.

ReplyMay 28, 2010, 8:08 am


okay, so this boy and me has like each other since 1st quarter of school. i havn’t talked to him since and he is really shy….i know he won’t make the first move,,but now when i text him, sometimes he doesn’t reply backk or it takes him too long….in school he is always looking at me, but somedays he don’t look at me as much as he used to…what does this mean?? should i talk to him??? does he want me to talk to him?? is he giving up??

ReplyMay 25, 2010, 5:46 pm


i just hooked up with this guy and were friends but after the hook up he never contacted me. what does this mean?

ReplyMay 9, 2010, 10:15 pm


Dear Brie: Oh boy. After answering all these complicated questions, this is an easy one. I’m sorry to say, my darling, but once you get in bed with a guy friend, your friendship will never be the same way. He isn’t texting you either because he feels awkward trying to continue the friendship like normal, or because he believes you’ll get feelings for him (as women often do after sex, it’s just our hormones) and he doesn’t want that because he just wants a FWB situation. I’m sorry to say that if you want a real relationship, this isn’t the guy to do it with. You’ll want to end all prospect of continuing to have sex with him before you look elsewhere for love. Good luck!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 9:03 pm


First question. I am trying to figure out why men shy away when I am are interested, but when I get tired and tell them I want to be just friends, a few months later he is blowing my phone up and leaving me messages. All of a sudden he wants to try to establish something.

Second question. I had one guy stand me up two times. The third time he planned to meet, I went to the movies. I did not want to be in the house alone another night. He calls and says he is on his way. I told him I wasn’t home and I would be there in 20 minutes. He got so angry it was commical. Why is that?

One last question. Why is it women have to figure men out and they make no attempt to fugure out what we want or need in a relationship. If I like flowers, why can’t the men just buy me some freaking flowers??

ReplyMay 3, 2010, 1:16 pm


hi eric my ? is i meet this guy like 3 months ago BUT i am married amd this guy no’s that we had been talking over the phone and texting each other everyday and night for about 2 months straight until about a month ago he changed on me he stoped texing & calling me 1st and when i ask him he say’s “what does it matter on who text first” so i continue to text 1st all the time and sometime when i text he won’t text back not often but some times and when i ask him if he even likes me or just wanna have sex here and there he says i really like you but i feel like i am chasing him and he no’s it i think about him alllll day everyday and i can’t get him off my mind how do i reverse it and make him text me 1st?

ReplyApril 26, 2010, 4:15 pm


Dear T.B.: If you’re married, you shouldn’t be texting some other guy this constantly. Period. So forget about why he doesn’t text back and worry about your own behavior.

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 8:55 pm

Anonymous girl

Hey Eric
so i met this guy that im really interested in. We meet at the library occasionally and everything goes well. When we talk, he gives me his full attention (his eyes are always looking at mine, his body is turned towards me, he taps me on the shoulder, he uses my name in the conversation, etc) and when it gets time for him to leave he taps me on the shoulder and tells me how great it was seeing me. So the next day i saw him in the school hallway, i wanted to say hi to him as i was passing by but i felt like i should wait and see if he said hi first so i didnt do anything… well.. he just walked straight past me and seemed to not even notice me.. then three days later i decided to text him first and i said “hey whats up?” and he didnt reply. I dont understand, what did i do wrong? Why didn’t he text me back? i really like this guy but i dont want to ruin anything. so i havent texted him back either.. helpp? any advice?
thanks , you seem to help a lot of people :)

ReplyApril 25, 2010, 9:18 am


hey! I new this guy for abt a month for now.. he doesn’t call or text only in the weekend! we go out.. then on sunday i texted him and he texted me back! but than nothing till now.. what should i do? i really like him!! should i send him msg or call him?! or wait till weekend to call me? i really need ur help! thanks

ReplyApril 21, 2010, 1:10 pm


Hi Eric,
I’m a college student and I recently met a guy in my english class. At first it was nothing but then he started teasing me and started playing footsie in a jokingly way. He started noticing what I was wearing cause he would mention about it. Example: I wore shorts one day and his response was “It’s not summer yet why are you wearing shorts?” a few days later he mentioned ” you’re not wearing shorts today?” He also notice little things, I wear a ring on my right hand. One day he asked if I was engaged or something but I explained to him that I wasn’t cause it would have been on my other finger and the ring was given by my mother. I only saw this guy every other day and this started happening towards the end of the school quarter. I promised him I would take him out to lunch if he finished all his essays that he never written for the class. On the day of our final, he calls me to ask if I was on campus because he said he lost his study guide. So I met up with him and gave him my study guide. There I asked him if he finished all his essays and he told me he did. But I didn’t mention anything about the lunch and he didn’t either. He then asked me what I was going to do before our class. My response was to go hang out with my friend. We said bye and then we didn’t see each other until our class time and that was the last time I saw him. During our spring break, I texted him “Hey I still owe you lunch when are you free?” he texted me back “thursday afternooon” great right? Well, on Wednesday I texted him and asked him what time on thursday. He told me the time. I then asked if we could move the location of the restaurant. He then texted back “I only get 1 hour lunch break. Given that it will hard for me to come down to that area. we can schedule for another time?” When I read that I got upset because I felt I was just worth an hour of his time. So my response was ” Yeah sure whatever is fine.” After that he hasn’t texted me back! It’s been about 2 weeks. I want to text him but my friends are telling me not to because it might show that I’m needy or some sort. But I feel like the way I responded was the reason why he never texted back. What do I do??? Was it my fault or was he just being a big flirt?

ReplyApril 14, 2010, 8:00 pm


Hey Eric!!!

Okay I have a problem. I started dating a younger guy I am 23 and he just turned 19 we work on the same air force base in the same office actually….Well we ended up having sex this past weekend…it had been around a month usually i might them wait longer and i am usually in a long term relationship. Being that we never had the talk about what we are its been weird lately. We went from talking everyday…too not….We were together friday,I spent the night saturday and half the day sunday. Monday rolls around i pass by say good morning smile and keep walking…pass by a few other time for work reasons later while i was walking by he look upset and said HEY GINA. I was like Hey boy hey i’m normal bubbly self. And after that its just been wierd….i sent him a text monday night asking how his day was and got NO response…i was like okay…so i let it ride the next day i sent him a good morning text and said ” i sent you a text last night did you get it?” 3 hours pass by and he finally said yea i got it but i was playing call of duty and i wasnt paying attention to my phone..” All i said was oh okay…i havent heard from him since that was yeseterday afternoon…Its just weird because we went form talking all the time to not :o/ I am confused …and i am feeling horrid that i slept with him i never do that unless it is very serious. Please help!!

ReplyApril 14, 2010, 11:03 am


Dear Gina: I have no idea if you will ever read this or if you even know this guy anymore, but I’m hoping this advice will help someone. This is a 19 year old kid. He probably doesn’t really know what he wants for himself and his life yet. But the fact that he values his video games over talking to you should tell you something about his maturity level. If there are any twenty-something women reading this who are dating/sleeping with younger men, and you’re having problems like this, I’d just let it go before you develop an ulcer practically having to babysit your boyfriend. Give him time to become more mature. Then you might be able to pursue it again. And for women 23 and up who do not have a younger boyfriend/FWB–please do not get one!

ReplyJuly 17, 2016, 8:49 pm


Hello Eric,
Maybe you can help me because I can’t find it anywhere else. There’s a guy I have been talking to for about 5 months. He does seem to be depressed for some reason and I think its him questioning what type of person he really is. He is what I would consider the perfect man he has a good job won’t cheat loves his kids dearly but always says he’s a bad person or its his fault him and hisawife split. Now mind you they have been split for about 3 years now. We just had sex for the 1st time not long ago because he don’t believe in haveng sex unless your in love. He’s a very sensitive guy but very fun at the same time. He tells me tonight he really don’t know what he wants with anything. And thinks its best we spend time apart to see if he misses me. Is it possible that he’s trying to find his feelings again or is it his way of saying I’m not interested in you? I know what you say is true about the cat and mouse chase but now is he really seeking his true feelings? He definitely don’t act like your typical guy so that’s why its so hard to read hisareal thought. Thanks so much for your help! Andrea

ReplyApril 12, 2010, 9:57 pm


(Sorry made a few typos above! ‘People have said to me…’ not ‘People gave said to me..’ and ‘Am i thinking…’ not ‘As i thinking…’ etc
(Also i am just 15 and he is 16)
Thank-you again =)

ReplyApril 12, 2010, 5:03 pm


I hope that im not looking too much into this; I met a guy bout 2 weeks ago we met up again in the first week and he asked me out. At first he would txt and call me loads and telling me how much he liked me. He went on holiday last wednesday then it seamed that he just stopped texting and calling me. I left it a day or two before texting him again because i didn’t want to seem too needy etc. He replied and called me and every thing seemed fine again. But them he didn’t text me again for another 2days. So i just casually texted asking him how he was etc. but his reply seemed a bit blunt. It has been another 2/3 days since then and still nothing. I first thought that he was just busy but now im not so sure. People gave said to me that in the first few weeks a guy should want to talk/text at least once a day. As i thinking too much of all this?What should i do? Thank-you.

ReplyApril 12, 2010, 4:05 pm


I’m 18 and I’ve never been on a date or had a bf. For the first time a few days ago, my best friend and I went to a club. We were dancing and ended up dancing with these two guy friends for like four hours. We exchanged numbers, had been dancing close (nothing aggressive or really sexual) and they walked us to our car. We texted them for like two more hours after we got home and then went to bed. The next day I am texting the boy I was dancing with and we’re talking about electronics and boring things like that. :/ I keep asking him questions to find out some stuff that’s a bit more personal, like favourites. He responds and everything, but often the convo just dies until I get bored and decide to text him a new question. My mom says boys will ask you questions if they are interested. So I’m a little down he’s not asked me anything.

And yesterday I didn’t text him all day. I saw a text the next morning that had been sent at midnight with my name in all caps. So I thought that was sweet and I texted him back today and we’ve had the start stop convo about what we were both gonna do today. -.- I can’t figure out if I should ask him about a double date or just leave it until further into the week. Should I just shut up if he’s not the one texting me first? I think it’s so dumb there has to be rules to liking someone!

ReplyApril 11, 2010, 6:34 pm


Hey Eric,
Here’s my problem. So I’ve always like the guy I’ve been working with for almost 4 years. (Let’s call him John) He’s told me he’s liked me it’s just that he couldn’t be in a relationship at the moment. I go off and start dating other people when I finally meet a guy that I really like. (David) We were together for a year and during that year John tells me he likes me and he’s jealous I’m with David. At the end, David and I part our ways. I’m happy and kind of sad because I guess I can be with John now. Wrong. He decides he rather just be friends with benefits for the moment. I agree because I’ve always liked him so why not? I eventually get tired of the friends with benefits thing because I develop stronger feelings. I tell him this and he’s like “I like you a lot too but let’s keep it slow.” A month goes by and I date this other guy. (Luis) Luis and I are great I love his family his family loves me. But then 6 months go by and I start realizing I see Luis more as a friend then a boyfriend. We broke up. John is happy. We get together and then I find out that the entire year and a half he had girlfriend the entire time! I’m furious he says he’s so sorry that he was gonna end with his girlfriend. They hadn’t been getting along, he doesn’t like her anymore. Point is that he said he was going to end it because he cared for me and only me. I took him back. And now we’re together, it’s only been 2months but he’s so secretive and mysterious. RIGHT NOW he hasn’t texted me back in a day in a half. I don’t know what to think. Maybe he’s still with that girl. I’m not one to look at my guys phone and snoop around. I thought I could trust him again. But i don’t know anymore. I only texted him once because I hate sounding needy. I try to follow the code in that sense. Don’t act desperate or needy, don’t text him all the time. I wrote one simple text earlier today: “I’ve been having a great day so far, and the only bad thing is not having heard from you” Bam! That’s it. And no text back. HELP ERIC PLEASE! “/

ReplyApril 8, 2010, 12:29 am


ok i like this guy and we talk a little……………when i asked him if he wanted to hang out if he was ever in my neighborhood bc his grandmother lives there and he goes there a lot he responded with “yea i might go over there”…………………..was it stupid for me to ask him that and does he thinnk im weird?

ReplyApril 1, 2010, 11:52 pm


Candace, he’s not into you. Move on.

ReplyMarch 29, 2010, 11:17 pm


ok……i like this guy but we never really talk…..and when i finally get the courage to text him he doesn’t text back………what does that mean????? ):

ReplyMarch 29, 2010, 10:31 pm

Eric Charles

I think a few things are going on here.
First, I think you’re afraid that he might “only want you for sex”. This is a phrase that gets tossed around in our culture and the media, but reality is more complicated than that.
Still, the idea that someone could want you only for sex is a scary idea. Nobody would want to be taken advantage of and have their genuine feelings betrayed just so the other person could get what they want.
So you felt that if you told him your feelings and beliefs on the matter, he would reassure you and then your fears would disappear.
However, from his side, it doesn’t sound like he was pressuring you for sex. So imagine how he feels when, out of the blue, you just say to him that you’re a virgin and you’re not going to have sex with him.
He is probably thinking, “Wait a minute. I never pressured this girl. I have been good to her and I genuinely like her. And yet, she said this to me. She must think that all I want is sex and not even see the person I actually am!!”
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a little insulted. It would be one thing if he was pressuring you, but it doesn’t sound like he was…
Now, in your defense, I would be able to understand where you’re coming from and not take it personally. But I have a lot more experience than a 19-year-old guy.
I don’t think you messed anything up in the long run, I just think you need to understand that when you say something like that to someone, you’re putting them on the defensive. You’re implying that you think that it’s a barrier you need to set because otherwise they wouldn’t respect it on their own.
Just leave the whole issue alone – don’t make an issue where there is none.
If he’s pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, then that is a major red flag and you DO need to say something and put up a clear barrier. But if he’s not pressuring you and you’re just speaking out of your own imagined fears, then that is something destructive and I would recommend stopping.
Hope it helps.

ReplyMarch 18, 2010, 11:03 am

Alexis Mireles

Hey Eric,
I have a problem that is making me really mad. There is this guy who is 19 and a marine. I am 16. We met like two months ago. I did the first move into putting my number in his phone. We started to text and everything started to go well. Untill I let him know I was a virgin and I wasn’t going to give it up. I felt as if he needed to know. He said that wasn’t even the deal and if it was he would have stopped talking to me. He didn’t text me for 3 days strait. If it weren’t have been for me texting me he would not text me. Today I text him and he didn’t text back. I am confused! He said he liked me and I told him I liked him. Is there any hope? Please help.

ReplyMarch 16, 2010, 11:17 pm


Eric, can you please give me some advice? I really don’t know how to go about this situation. There’s this guy whom I met acouple months back. He was away on vacation for a few weeks, but when he got back he “texted me”. Remind you, we never spoke on the phone. So, we just texted eachother back and fourth for about a week. He called me atleast once everyday…and left voice messages every time. He would tell mE he was very interested and he absolutely could not wait to get together. So, for about two weeks we would text all day long while we were at work and etc. So, here is where it gets fishy, one night we talked for four hours. Great conversation. After that night, went down hill. He has not called me again, he only texts me to reply. He said he has been busy with work, and he still is interested. However, lately he doesn’t respond back. He use to text me goodmorning and goodnight everyday. Now, nada! I’m into him, he says he is into me. When I asked why doesn’t he call, he told me he thinks he is going to get “voicemail” that is what he runs into he said. And I can call him anytime, not to put it on him. Help please. Should I give him a call? Or just let things naturally take its coarse, if any?

ReplyMarch 13, 2010, 9:25 pm


hello can anyone help?? my husband has walked out for 2nd time for another woman in jan he decided a week ago he wanted to try again and I agreed with have 3 children and a house together but its been a rocky few months for me and hes just been living it up with his mates and still is but he works away all of the time and he is now just sending texts saying sorry busy or rings midday in secret from his mates telling me how bad work is I still love him throughout this but I FEEL like a doormat and a complete useless thing that only gets attention when he hasnt got anything better to do I will admit I can be needy I was 16 when we met and he was 26 he was my first boyfriend but I have been needy for a long time because he has frequently abandoned us for something better or when his life seems bad he runs away he can be a good man but would like someone elses opinion about what I should do … I really do love him and I ALWAYS SEE the good in him …thanks

ReplyMarch 10, 2010, 5:02 pm


Eric Please help!! My question is… it seems like whenever I try the whole unavailable thing the guy I’m seeing will say things like.. you normally text me, fine don’t talk to me (adult tantrum), or you don’t WANT to talk to me? He has no problem cancelling plans with me or not returning my texts but when I do the same to him.. he calls me out on it. I always respond to him right away because I do love and respect him. But this is the third time that he has cancelled plans with me this month because he says he is working. I just don’t want to be his doormat anymore. At the same time, I don’t want to come across as needy. Help!!!!

ReplyMarch 10, 2010, 2:21 pm


hi eric… hope you can help me. i met this guy 3 weeks ago and with that, he always texts me.. he always calls me even if the payment for the call is expensive.. he also sends sweet messages to me and he also even says he loves me… but then, starting last week, he just didn’t text me up to now and i don’t understand why.. would you help me?

ReplyFebruary 23, 2010, 10:01 am


hi i met this guy and right away we had a connection we met when i was almost 18 and he was 22 at the time and we had like a friend relationship but we both knew we liked eachother we told each other or feelings but didnt go anywhere with it because of my stepfather because that was his bestfriend. We were kind of seeing each other for 4 months than something happen he got into a fight with my stepfather and never seen him for 7 months now he is back into my life talking to me and i still like him but i dont know if he is playing mind games are not my mom and her friends tell me when he is at the bar he firts with girl but now he is saying he wants to bulid a friendship back up and than sleep together and than have a realtionship i guess to see if the sex is good. I dont know what to do because he is confusing we are talking one week than when i text him he never texts back and he will go mia for 2 weeks than comes back to me talking like nothing happen i have to say i text him alot is that a bad thing? i need help on this whole thing i have been going through this for to long for about a year i think all he wants is sex but why would he leave for 7 months than come back like never happen? I need help.. thanks

ReplyFebruary 15, 2010, 3:44 am


Hi Eric,
I’m 25, the man is 29. Admitted commit-phobe, has never really been fully able to commit to me in 2 1/2 yrs, even tho he says he tries. He left me once by just not responding to anything, it stung for a good 3 months until we ran into eachother and started up again. Things have been ok recently, since I figured out i’m a bit of a commit-phobe as well, and we agreed to take some space, since thats what he says he needs.

This past tues, we confirmed the space would last till end of month, and things were fine. Next day, he called and talked. Day after, Thursday, I send goodnight text, but nothing back. Friday, I text good morning, and nothing all day. Saturday, today, no texts back at all. I just been asking him if he’s ok or something, he never goes 2 days not answering. I didn’t even send him texts in the 2 digits. Needy? yes, prob a little, but he’s left me before like this.. I couldn’t take it anymore tonight, and told him I’m not putting up with this behavior, and good bye. Did I make a good decision? I don’t know, maybe he really did lose his phone, or some